Happy Tears -- Chapter 3
The following fic was created by me,
Mike Allen. However, I do not own any of the
characters that I am using. That honor
belongs to the honorable Rumiko Takahashi and
any and all companies to which she has sold
the rights. So, please do not sue me.
Vengeance Is Mine.
*********************
As he stood on the ridge overlooking a
small, shallow valley, his thoughts turned to
the last time he had seen the little village
lying nestled within. His previous view of
it had been with eight-year old, pain-
stricken eyes as he left it, he thought,
forever. Being taken to a place he had never
seen, told that it would be his new home and
there have a new family, he had feared what
was ahead of him only a little less than his
heart ached from the memories of what he was
leaving behind. They had tried to replace
his name and family, but he didn't open
himself to them. He knew whom his parents
and siblings were and would always remember.
Even though he didn't want to recall the
memories, he never successfully banished
them.
Happosai continued to watch the waking
village while his feelings went through a
familiar litany. First he felt the burning
desire for vengeance upon his father. The
need for vengeance slowly gave way to the
gnawing fears of doubt and failure. For if
he failed, his life would be forfeit. As his
fears battled against the need for vengeance,
a third emotion would come, thrusting itself
forward into his consciousness.
Determination, determination to see his vow
completed and his father humbled before him.
Envisioning his father on his knees before
him with all that the man valued lost, his
resolve and courage grew stronger.
He boldly strode forward into the small
town and made his way to the entrance of his
father's home. Once there, he knocked on the
door and waited until it was answered.
"Hello, may I help you?" A kindly
looking woman, appearing to be in her late
thirties, greeted him. She was only
partially visible as she stood behind the
door. She stood quite tall; Happosai
estimated her to be five foot six or seven,
an exceptional height for her time. Her
straight black hair reached her knees and her
deep brown eyes glowed with freely offered
love and affection.
"Yes, I have a letter for Hikozabe Asai.
Is he in?" His voice betrayed him as it
quavered with nervousness.
"I'm sorry, my husband is out. Would
you care to wait on the porch until his
return?" she motioned towards a covered porch
in front of the estate.
"Y-yes, I will, thank you." He gave her
a quick bow and moved to sit on a convenient
bench. He had awaited this day for twenty
years; a few hours meant nothing to him.
"My husband wasn't expecting anyone and
will be gone until evening," she apologized
as she left to tend to her household.
The day passed quickly, as he sat and
watched as his father's new family played
around him. He counted six children, three
older girls and three young boys running and
playing around. The eldest, a young woman,
seemed to be around fourteen or fifteen. The
others seemed to follow in two-year
increments. His father's new wife had given
her husband children on a quite regular
basis.
They seemed like a happy family, and he
felt some remorse for the pain that he would
be giving to his half-siblings. If not for
the depth of his need for vengeance, he would
have left before Hikozabe returned. As it
was, he spotted his quarry as he turned down
the street.
Now in his early sixties, Hikozabe was
still a very impressive man. He strode along
the street with the agility and grace of a
twenty-year old. His snow-white hair fell to
his shoulders in a free-fall that accentuated
his handsome features. Handsome when young,
he had grown into a very distinguished
looking man. The harshness that marred his
looks earlier in his life had given way to an
almost unyielding strength of spirit.
Forgotten love and pride in the man in
front of him welled up within Happosai as he
watched his father approach. However, it was
not enough to alter the years of hatred that
scarred his soul. He stood and waited until
Hikozabe had reached him.
"Hikozabe Asai?" he asked, knowing the
answer.
"Hai."
"Father, I have returned and I am
challenging you for the Asai name. Here is
my letter of challenge." He held the scroll
in both hands and bowed to his father, never
taking his eyes from the man's face. His
stomach churned, his voice held steady, and
no trace of his nervousness betrayed him.
The old man peered into the face of the
short man in front of him. Breaking into a
large grin, he moved forward to embrace him
as he said, "Shiro? Shiro! It is you! You
have returned! How I have longed for this
day!"
Confused and moving aside, Happosai
placed the letter into his father's left
hand. "I will return in one week's time to
face the first challenge."
He leapt away before his father could
again respond. Glancing over his shoulder as
he crossed over a roof, he saw the man
staring slack-jawed after him, right arm held
out still reaching for him. The left holding
the parchment. He smiled as he imagined his
father reading the letter.
=============================================
Hikozabe Asai,
You are hereby challenged for the family
name of Asai. In your youth, you used
dishonorable methods to gain a wife. As a
father, you tried to kill one of your own
sons, Shiro. If not for his mother's
sacrifice, he would have perished at your
word. You then betrayed any familial ties by
accusing him of his mother's murder and took
his name from him. Without honor, one cannot
have a noble house.
My challenge is this:
For all of your married sons that have
kept the Asai name, I will fight them one per
week, from the youngest to the oldest. If I
win, they will remove themselves and their
children from the Asai family scroll. If I
lose, I will commit seppuku as honor
commands.
When the last son is vanquished, we will
meet. If I win, in addition to removing
yourself and your dependents from the Asai
scroll, it shall be given to me for
safekeeping. If perchance I lose, I will do
as true honor demands.
Happosai, a man once known as the boy,
Shiro Asai.
============================================
On the morning of the first challenge,
Happosai arrived at the gate to his father's
estate. He had spent most of the week trying
to understand his father's words. They
didn't make any sense. His father had
attempted to kill him and had instead caused
the death of his mother. Why would he be
pleased to see him now?
He had spent the week camping in a glade
within easy walking distance of his father's
home. He went through some very basic katas
and other training exercises to keep his
edge, but hadn't bothered with any intense
training. He would live or die with what he
knew.
Knocking on the gate to announce his
presence, he noticed perspiration on the
upraised fist. If he hadn't known better, he
would have thought that he already had fought
and lost. His stomach was gnarled into one
roiling mass. Anticipation, nervousness and
fear all added equal shares to the beast that
his insides had become. When a servant
answered and bowed him inside, he
concentrated on walking slowly, confidently
forward.
Entering the Asai dojo, he found the
entire family waiting for him. His father
sat, red-eyed, opposite the entrance
underneath the dojo shrine. His three older
brothers sat in order at his father's right.
His stepmother and her six children all sat
on the patriarch's left. Seeing his
entrance, they all bowed to him.
Giving a short, polite bow in return, he
looked towards his father and asked, "Who
will meet my challenge today?"
Saburo started to rise, but was stopped
by Jiro. Jiro motioned with his head towards
their father. Reseating himself, Saburo
waited for his father's words.
"Shiro, my son, I humbly apologize to
you for the disgrace that I brought upon you
with my shameful actions at the time of your
mother's death. After your aunt left with
you and my lost daughters, I spent eight
weeks in bed. For the first time in my life,
I looked at what my actions had wrought and
was ashamed," Hikozabe's voice quivered with
shame as he recounted this. "In the years
since your leaving, I have tried to contact
you many times. Each time, I was
unsuccessful. I want you to know that there
is no reason for your challenge. I added you
back to the family as soon as I was able
after you went to China."
Bowing with his head on the floor and
openly crying, his father said, "Can you
forgive my foolishness and pride? Shiro, I
would be proud to acknowledge you as my son.
You do not have to hide behind the name of
Happosai. Use the name that your mother and
I gave you when you were born become Shiro
Asai again."
He had dreamed of this day many times.
He had imagined his father angrily denouncing
him, laughing at him, dismissing him and even
trying to kill him. He never expected to see
his father asking for reconciliation. As he
began to sift through the words spoken by his
father a second time in his mind, a sense of
righteous indignation mingled with a cold
hard fury began shaking him.
"Forgive your foolishness? If all that
you had done to me was to take away my name,
I might forgive you, father," as he said the
word, the loathing he felt for the man was
palpable. He continued in a rising shout of
righteous anger, saying, "You ordered my
death. If not for mother's overhearing your
plan and giving me her water, I would be
dead. She would be alive today, if not for
your attempt at my life. Forgive you?
Never."
"I say again, who will face my challenge
today!" he roared at his father.
Hikozabe looked at his son, with
anguished regret. "How did you know that?"
"Mother told me as she died."
The rest of the family sat staring at
Hikozabe, not knowing what to think. The man
they knew would never have attempted murder.
He had changed in the twenty years since
Happosai had left. The beating that Li Wei
administered to him had forced him to face
himself with honest eyes. Ashamed of the man
he had become, he slowly and painfully had
changed who he was. He had become an
honorable man, in all the ways that counted.
Bowing again to his son, he choked out,
"I-I'm truly sorry, Shiro. I am not the man
I once was. That man died a long time ago."
Shaking his head in negation, Happosai
stood as straight as he could as he replied,
"I ask for one last time, old man, who will
answer my challenge."
"I will!" Saburo jumped up, yelling
angrily at his younger brother. "The man I
know as my father would never have attempted
your life. He has changed. If you cannot
accept that, then I will allow you an
honorable death."
Facing his brother, Happosai appraised
him. Saburo was almost the spitting image of
his father. He stood an inch taller and was
not as broad-shouldered, but had the same
arrogance in his looks and carriage as his
father had at the same age.
Striding forward, Saburo dropped all of
his weaponry. Looking down at his diminutive
brother, he snarled, "I won't need any
weapons to defeat you."
Happosai stood in a ready stance and
calmly waited for Saburo's first offensive.
When it did come, it came as a rush of kicks.
Saburo charged in, hoping to end the
fight quickly. Expecting to use his greater
reach advantageously, he stayed outside of
his younger brother's reach and repeatedly
kicked at him. Unfortunately, he found that
his strongest kicks were useless. If he
kicked at a target higher than his waist, he
was kicking air. Instead of having his
weight and strength behind it when he tried
to hit Happosai, his kicks ended up using
only the force his leg muscles could muster.
His brother evaded every one of the strikes.
Frustrated, he tried a spinning leg sweep.
He felt it connect and started to smile in
triumph when his momentum stopped and he
found himself flying through the air.
To the watchers, it seemed that Saburo
had performed a standard leg sweep. Happosai
took one step back and caught the other man's
foot in his right hand. In an impossible
show of strength, he then casually threw his
arm over his head, throwing his brother out
of the dojo's door.
Crashing through the entrance back
first, Saburo landed hard, his back and his
head taking the brunt of the landing.
Getting up slowly, he shook his head trying
to decide which of the four images of
Happosai he was tracking really was his
target.
For his part, Happosai turned and
casually walked out through the remains of
the dojo's door. Seeing the dazed look on
his opponent's face, he decided to give his
brother a chance to surrender.
"Saburo, I don't want to hurt you any
more than I have to. I can see that you're
not able to defend yourself, give up."
"Never."
With a small sigh, he said, "Very well,
brother."
In his first and last offensive strike
of the match, Happosai leapt at his brother
punching him hard in the stomach with a
savage kick, doubling him over in pain.
Taking advantage, he quickly put his fists
together, struck Saburo in the small of the
back forcing him to straighten his back.
Applying the final touch, Happosai jumped
onto his brother's back and punched at the
base of his neck, bringing him down while he
sat on his back.
"It is finished. You will take your
wife's family name, brother," he said to
Saburo as he walked back into the dojo.
Inside, he bowed to his father, saying,
"Until next week."
With that, he turned and left.
*********************
That night as he ate cold rice and dried
beef, he sat and tried to make sense of what
had happened. He had been ready for any
possible response from his father except for
remorse. His father asked him for
forgiveness. His stomach churned and almost
emptied itself as he thought of forgiving the
man.
Unable to sleep, the emotions of the day
were still too fresh within him. He began
working out. The first exercises he tried
were some simple katas. While they easily
limbered him up, they did nothing to resolve
the knot that was his stomach. Moving into
more exhausting routines, he began to shadow
fight with the trees lining the clearing he
was in. Breaking into a sweat, his body
continued to fight while memories of his past
floated up into his consciousness.
As he broke the yard-wide trunk of a
tree, he felt his mothers loving hands run
along his back and remembered the song she
always sang to him. Moving to the next tree,
he remembered the plague and his mother's
dying words. Tears stinging his eyes now, he
heard his father's angry words at his
mother's funeral and the day afterwards.
Blindly stumbling now, tripping over bushes
and roots, Li Wei's voice came back to him
reminding that none should be allowed to harm
one of Amazon blood.
Collapsing as he tripped one last time,
he heard the voice of a long forgotten priest
reminding him, "My son vengeance is two-edged
sword with no handle. When one seeks
vengeance in life, it is often the one
seeking retribution who is most harmed by its
pursuit. Many times, you must become that
which you despise to gain that which you
claim to want."
With those words ringing in his ears, he
wandered back to his camp and fell into his
sleeping roll. Exhausted from his mental and
physical workouts, he quickly fell into an
untroubled, dreamless sleep.
He woke to the smell of breakfast being
prepared. Jumping to his feet, he found
Ichiro, his eldest brother, cooking a meal
for the both of them. Ichiro squatted by the
fire, his back to his brother trusting him
not to attack.
"Awake, little brother? If you'd slept
for another five minutes, I would've had the
tea ready," he spoke in the friendly tones
Happosai remembered, but with a warm baritone
instead of the boyish soprano of his youth.
"Yes, I'm awake," curious and wary of
his brother, he walked forward and sat at
Ichiro's right.
"Quite a display of martial prowess
you've put on. At least, I think so based on
the number of trees that are now ready to be
turned into firewood." He smiled and
laughed.
"Hmm, I needed to train last night."
"Everything's ready. Let's eat." He
quickly scooped up a plateful of food and
passed it to Happosai. Pouring some tea, he
did the same. After making sure that his
brother's needs were taken care of, he served
himself.
Waiting for Ichiro to begin eating,
Happosai sat and watched his brother. As he
saw him begin to eat, he ate some himself.
Finding it very tasty, he asked, "Where did
you learn to cook like that?"
"Being a soldier and traveling by
yourself tends to force one to learn," Ichiro
answered with a smile.
"I travel by myself all the time, I've
never learned how to cook this well," he
grumbled to no one in particular.
Turning to face Happosai, Ichiro turned
serious and asked, "Brother, Father changed
after you and our sisters were taken from us.
He apologized to mother at her shrine for all
of the things that you charged against him
and others. He reinstated you into the
family. He let us choose our own
professions. Jiro is a scholar. Brother,
there is no need for this challenge.
Renounce it and rejoin our family."
Shaking his head in slow negation,
Happosai answered, "It's too late. Even if I
believed you, I cannot back out now. It's a
matter of honor and I must complete the
challenge." The food he had just eaten sat
heavily in his stomach. He believed his
brother, but the challenge had been made. To
back out now would forever label him as
either a coward or honorless. He didn't care
of they thought him honorless; but he would
die before his father or any of his brothers
called him a coward.
"I feared as much. Will you at least
come and stay with me this week? I'd like to
get a chance to know who my littlest brother
has become." With a smile, he added, "Of
course, if you want to stay out here in the
woods making firewood for the winter."
"Heh, if it was just you and me,
brother, I'd already have invited myself in.
I've missed you and you're sense of humor.
However, I cannot go with you until the
challenge is finished."
"I understand. Would you mind if I
visited you here? I'd like a chance to know
you, little brother. From the way you were
able to defeat Saburo and these trees, it's
obvious that you've become a mighty fighter.
I'm curious what else you've learned."
Happosai paused and looked at his
brother. He saw an earnest friendliness on
the face of his brother. Remembering how
nice his brother had always been to him, he
said, "Yes, I'd like that. I'd like to know
what's happened to you, too."
"It's time for me to go. I look forward
to visiting you." Standing up, Ichiro
collected the breakfast dishes and left for
the village.
Ichiro brought breakfast to Happosai
every morning that week. Each day he would
try to get his little brother to withdraw the
challenge. Happosai would refuse. They
talked of many things, none relating to
either's skill at the Art. Ichiro told
Happosai of life in the Imperial Army and how
Men of Samurai ancestry were being recruited
to lead the enlisted ranks. Happosai related
to Ichiro what had happened with their
sisters and some of his travels.
*********************
Happosai stood at the entrance to his
father's dojo. Once again, his stomach
churned and nervous sweat dripped from him.
He watched as the servant noiselessly slid
the repaired door open.
He bowed to the shrine and strode
forward into the center of the room. He
stopped and looked at his father.
The tableau inside was similar to what
it had been the previous week. His brothers
all sat to one side of Hikozabe and his new
wife and children sat on the other. There
were two jarring differences.
The robes Hikozabe wore were the robes
one wore for the ritual of seppuku. In front
of him lay the family katana and tanto along
with the robes for the second, in his size.
Next to this, he saw a parchment scroll bound
with a leather wrapper.
Looking up from the blades, he glanced
at his stepmother and brothers, all were red-
eyed sitting stoically with no emotion
showing on their faces.
"What is the meaning of this?"
"Shiro, you have left me no choice. I
have done all of the things you stated in
your challenge and worse. I apologized to
your mother's spirit and the family I had
left many years ago. My honor is forfeit. I
have removed everyone, except you, from the
Asai family scroll as you requested. I would
like to ask you to second me as I commit
seppuku to regain the honor I forfeited for
you and my sons. I hope that this will be
enough for you to forgive an old man the
arrogance of his youth." Throughout the
entire speech, Hikozabe kept his eyes riveted
upon Happosai's, neither flinching away nor
showing any weakness.
Rocked to his core, he stood staring at
his father. This is not what he wanted. He
did not want his father to accede to his
demands and ask for forgiveness, especially
not to the point of death! He wanted his
father to be the same man who had literally
thrown him into the gutters. He wanted cold,
hard vengeance.
Anger and frustration boiled forth from
him as he began to yell, "You can't do this!
You were supposed to fight me! I'm supposed
to show you how good I am." He calmed
himself and started again, "I accept your
apology and I will take the family scroll. I
promised Mother that I would see that the
eight treasures that you valued most were
taken from you. Your three daughters and I
were taken away by my aunt. With this
scroll, my brothers and your name are now
lost to you. This I vowed. I did not make a
covenant to oversee your death with her. I
do not want or need your life."
Hesitatingly, he slowly moved forward
and took the scroll from the floor. Placing
it inside of his wrap, he stepped back from
his father. "Sir, you've shown me much more
honor than I ever expected to see from you
today. I." He stopped talking because he
didn't know what he wanted to tell the man in
front of him.
As he looked at his father, he felt
anger at having the sweetness of his revenge
taken away. Feelings of pride and love
surfaced in him. He was amazed at the change
in the man who once tried to kill him because
he was a dwarf. Seeing true repentance
within his father's eyes, he felt the loss of
the dream of vengeance. By apologizing and
acknowledging his crimes, his father took
away the twenty-year old dream that Happosai
had nurtured. Shame for the honorless
actions that he had perpetrated in getting to
this point overpowered what little control he
had left and he fell forward, collapsing in
tears.
"Father, your honor is restored. It is
I who must relearn what honor is. I will
join the Imperial Army as Ichiro has and
learn there."
A hand dropped on his shoulder and he
heard his father say, "Shiro, I mean.
Happosai, I am proud of you and your
accomplishments. I don't know of many men
that if they had been treated as I did you,
would have had the pride and honor to come
back and challenge me as you did. Stay with
me for a while before joining the army. As I
told you last week, I've tried for years to
get a letter to you or your sisters, none
have ever been answered. There are many
things I'd like to know."
"Ichiro, when are you due back?"
Happosai asked his brother in a hoarse
whisper.
"I have the next thirty days before my
leave is finished and I must report to my
battalion," Ichiro said with a gentle smile
upon his face.
"Then I have thirty days to spend with
you, Father." Happosai dried his tears and
stood up facing Hikozabe. "I'd like to meet
my step-brothers and step-sisters. I've met
my step-mother and would like the chance to
get to know her."
Hikozabe pulled Happosai into a bear
hug. "You will, my son, you will. I'm so
happy that you are willing to be a part of
the family again."
Happosai hung stiffly within his
father's grasp. He wasn't going to fight
being hugged; but he wasn't going to
encourage it either. His emotions
overwhelmed, he was numb to the events around
him.
As his father put him down, he said, "I
have to get my belongings, I will be back
tonight." He then walked out of the dojo in
a stunned daze.
"I'm looking forward to it, son!" his
father happily shouted behind him. "My son,
my long lost son, is a part of my family
again."
*********************
Ashes.
All of his dreams and plans for this day
were in ashes. Why couldn't things have been
the way he wanted them to be? He had dreamed
that humbling his father and forcing him to
give up the things he held most dear would
bring him peace. Instead, his father had
changed enough to willingly give him what he
asked for.
Taking a final look around his campsite,
he saw the tattered remnants of several trees
laying in the dirt. He had a decision to
make. Should he go back to his father's home
and try to learn the ways of honor or should
he leave and never come back? Seeking
vengeance had left him honorless and empty
with nothing to do now that it was over.
He was curious as to what names his
brothers and father now had. For one thing,
the Asai estate could no longer bear that
name. He wondered if it would be given to
his step-mother's family or if it would go to
Ichiro and his new family.
Shaking his head, he turned and began to
walk towards the little town he had been born
in. It was time that he became a person of
honor, like his mother, aunt, sisters, Ichiro
and maybe his father. With a smile on his
face and hope in his heart, he quickened his
pace and soon arrived in Nerima, the village
of his birth.
*********************
In front of the shrine lay a parchment
and a tanto. An old man picked them up and
smiled.
"Mother, my revenge was neither sweet
nor fulfilling. I fulfilled my promise to
you and stopped father from killing himself."
He carefully placed the objects back down.
"I'm still not sure whether what I did next
was right or wrong. Joining the Imperial
Army did teach me the difference between
saying one has honor and having it. I did
things that I am still ashamed to admit. My
brother , Ichiro Tendo, taught me how one
lives honorably. I am still proud to call
myself his brother."
*********************
Whew. This chapter is finished! This
took a lot longer and was much more difficult
to write that I first thought it would.
Hikozabe was supposed to be the stubborn jerk
that he was in the first chapter. I didn't
know that he had matured until he first
showed up in here.
I have a question that I would like you
to answer since you've read this far. This
fic is trying to get into Happosai's head and
show his emotional growth during his life.
Is it working, or am I emphasizing it too
much?
Note: I tried to find out if Nerima had
been a town on its own and had been
surrounded by Tokyo this century. On the
Internet, I couldn't find any evidence to the
positive or negative. If this is wrong, I'll
gladly change whatever I need to. Just send
me a friendly note.
What's coming up?
In the next chapter, Happosai will go to
war. The Russo-Japanese war to be exact. It
is possible that I will be able to bring the
story through the Second World War, but that
would make it extremely large.
I want to thank Ryan Erik for his help with
this chapter. He pretty much single-handedly
editted this for me.
I look forward to hearing from all of
you with your comments and suggestions.
Mike Allen