Switching Heirs:
An Altered Destiny
By: Dreiser
-Fifteen-
"The Charlotte Cup?" questioned Sakura sardonically. Hands
on her hips she shook her spiky chocolate brown head while staring at
the large sign in front of Kolkhoz high school. "Ryochan is gonna love
this."
"Mmm," purred Kodachi, wrapping an arm around the other
girl's waist. "Certainly by making this the title of their match the Golden
Pair will only succeed in incensing Ryoga's anger further. Not an
intelligent maneuver."
Absently petting C-chan who was resting in her embrace
Ukyo murmured, "We shouldn't mention it to him. Last time I saw
Ryoga he was still upset over the fact that we couldn't get that damn
collar off."
"Thing must be made of steel," snorted Ranma. "We must've
tried for over an hour to cut that thing off his neck. I hope he can get
that key from Azusa because if he doesn't Ryoga might be called
Charlotte from now on." Saying this last part Ranma wore a small
smirk.
"He can always wear turtlenecks like he is today," said Nabiki
easily. "But we better hurry and get inside or we'll miss the beginning
of the match. That's something I don't want. Especially since I have
significant bets placed on the outcome of this little skirmish."
Chuckling lowly Ukyo commented, "And when don't you have
bets placed on a fight Nabchan?"
"Quite simple," replied Nabiki drolly. "When the apocalyptic
battle between good and evil occurs. That's bound to be a dead give
away."
Groaning together at this comment the four friends followed
the middle Tendo sister inside the skating rink. They were arriving late
after waiting for Kodachi to appear at the dojo. Genma and Soun had
left earlier for the match hoping to reserve seats for the group. Entering
the skating rink they shared similar hopes for their friends victory.
Walking into the boys dressing room Ryoga snarled on seeing
Mikado sitting in front of the mirror and if his eyes weren't tricking him
he'd been trying on make-up.
"So," Ryoga growled, dropping his backpack that contained
his costume. "The lecher lives. I had hoped that my earlier attack might
have destroyed you."
"Heh," chuckled Mikado. Rakishly pushing back his bangs the
lanky figure skater swiveled on his stool to face Ryoga. "No such luck
simpleton. I've faced far worse. Have you ever been attacked by mob
of erroneously jealous boyfriends? I think not." Snorting he continued,
"You think that was the first time a urchin such as yourself has
assaulted me with a chi blast?" Rising to his feet Mikado smirked,
"Hundreds know such maneuvers and I've built up quite an amazing
resistance to them. You must if you wish to continue freeing beautiful
ladies from the entrapments of their cavemen enslavers. Which,"
Mikado drawled. "Is precisely what I plan to do with your lovely
partner. Now that I've succeeded in my mission from stealing a kiss
from Tendo Akane's lips I've moved onto a more momentous task."
"What're you talking about scum?" demanded Ryoga.
Pointing his finger in Ryoga's face Mikado announced, "A
barbarian like you doesn't deserve such a exquisite flower as Akane
and I have vowed to free her from your clutches. Akane will be set
free and then she will be able to join my large collection of lovelies in
the Sanzenin Mikado fan club! All from whom I receive endless
kisses."
"Why you..." seethed Ryoga as he clenched his hands into
fists. Slowly he stalked forward preparing to beat the skater into the
ground for even thinking such things.
Sensing the open hostility from his opponent Mikado gave
Ryoga one final smirk before pushing past the lost boy leaving him
alone in the dressing room and fuming.
"Is it just me or are the students from Kolkhoz high nuts?"
asked Ukyo dryly.
The okonomiyaki chef was scanning the other half of the rink
where the Kolkhoz high fans sat. They held huge banners bearing the
Golden Pair names and t-shirts to match. Overall it gave the
impression that much of the school's populous consisted of nothing but
obsessed groupies for the two figure skaters.
"They do seem fond of the Golden Pair, don't they now?"
Soun remarked solemnly.
Grumbling his agreement Genma folded his arms across his
chest saying seriously, "If this crowd is any indication of their skill level
Akane and Ryoga are going to have to work for a victory."
Adjusting his wire rim glasses the Announcer shuffled the
papers that contained information about the fighters. This was his one
hundred and twenty-seventh time at announcing a match for the
Golden Pair. He considered himself the utmost expert on the most
publicized skating couple in Japan. The way he saw it they were his
ticket to fame. Surely when the pair reached adulthood they'd be in
line for an Olympic medal. Smirking to himself he smugly noted his
sister's predicament. She put all her hopes into riding on the wave of
success of Kuno Kodachi, the infamous Black Rose of rhythmic
gymnastics, and look where it had gotten her. The Black Rose had
been expelled in the early rounds to qualify for the Olympic team. Yes,
he thought proudly, it was a better decision to stick with announcing
figure skating. Clenching his hand he crushed the papers in his grip.
And everyone who made fun of him for liking figure skating would
pay. Oh yes, they would pay indeed.
Still chuckling lowly at this thought he coughed before shouting
into the microphone, "Welcome to the first annual Charlotte Cup
competition in the sport of Anything Goes martial arts figure skating! If
you don't know by now the prize is a miniature black piglet that goes
by the name of Charlotte. Whoever wins the match brings home the
bacon!" Pausing at this joke he continued, "And here are the stars of
this event. The legendary Golden Pair of Kolkhoz high! Sanzenin
Mikado and Shiratori Azusa!"
From the rink sidelines Ryoga tugged on his green turtleneck
while watching the Golden Pair skate onto the ice. They were
obviously trying to impress their legions of fans who were cheering
loudly for the couple.
"Feh," Ryoga dismissed. "They're nothing but a pair of show
offs."
Grabbing Ryoga's hand quickly Akane moved onto the ice
saying, "Don't worry. We'll teach them how it's done!"
Pulling a surprised Ryoga behind her Akane went skating
forward. Unfortunately for her the sudden movement caused Ryoga to
lose what little skill he had at balancing on the ice and he went tumbling
into her back. Releasing a startled yelp Akane leapt in the air only to
land sitting on Ryoga's back as the lost boy went skidding face first
across the ice rink stopping in front of the Golden Pair.
Laughing cutely Azusa covered her mouth with her hand
saying, "The match hasn't even started yet and Charlotte is practically
Azusa's already."
Gritting her teeth Akane jumped off Ryoga. "Oh no," she
hissed. "There's no way you're getting your hands on Ryochan again.
I'm not going to lose!"
Moving into fighting position as the bell rang signaling the start
of the match Akane wore a face of pure determination. Victory would
be hers.
"And the bell has rang!" Shouted the Announcer at the top of
his lungs. "The battle for the pet piglet has begun. This is a no holds
barred match people! Anything Goes means that anything could
happen! And since there are no rules who's to stop it from occurring?
Certainly not me!"
No rules? Thought Ryoga blearily as he felt himself being
tugged to his feet. Raising his head he gazed into the shining eyes of
Akane.
"Winners strike first," Akane said strongly. "And we're going
to win. Lets go for it Ryoga."
Nodding his head in affirmation Ryoga shakily rose to his feet
and allowed Akane to pull him smoothly across the ice as she moved
forward. Flying ahead Akane smiled at Ryoga as they neared the
Golden Pair. Returning the smile Ryoga knew exactly what she had in
mind.
In a wide swing Akane lifted Ryoga off the ice and sent him
flying feet first at Mikado. The figure skater ducked under Ryoga's
kick, managing to evade it, and skated right towards Akane. Pulling
her into his embrace. Still holding Akane's hands Ryoga averted his
path mid-air and landed on Mikado's back. Seeing the other boy's lips
lowering towards Akane's Ryoga experienced a flashback of their
earlier kiss. Eyes darkening with anger Ryoga brought his fists down
on Mikado's shoulders slamming the skater face first into the ice. A
second later Azusa came flying in the air and solidly connected a kick
against Ryoga's face sending him sprawling across the rink. Landing
with infinite ease Azusa skated back to her partner who was slowly
awakening. While Akane similarly went to the crumpled Ryoga's side.
"You okay Ryochan?" she questioned in concern.
"I'm fine Akane," affirmed Ryoga as he rose to his feet.
Grabbing her hand in his he said, "Ready to pay them back for that?"
Nodding her head silently she skated forward pulling Ryoga
behind her preparing to attack the Golden Pair.
Watching the scene before him quite wearily the Announcer
said weakly, "And that was the opening attack from challengers Hibiki
Ryoga and Tendo Akane of Furinkan high. It seems that this match
might not be the epic battle we had expected." Rubbing his forehead
he groaned at the upcoming headache. This was the last thing he
needed. The press for this match had been huge and if it turned out to
be anything less than the normal chaos surrounding a Golden Pair
match there would be hell to pay. And he would be the one having to
pay it.
"He tried to kiss Akane again?" asked Sakura in disbelief.
"Sanzenin must have a death wish."
Watching the match carefully Ukyo noted, "Ryoga is doing fine
as long as he lets Akane take the lead. If they keep this up they might
actually have a chance of winning."
"I dunno Ucchan," said Ranma thoughtfully. "Ryoga was doing
okay yesterday in the arena. I think he might be able to stand on his
own today. Give him a chance."
"He might have that chance son," said Genma slowly. "It looks
like the Golden Pair are planning something."
"Imagine that," Mikado said arrogantly while skating forward.
Azusa was at his side lifted mid-way into the air and clinging to his
arm. "Attacking me for doing nothing more then giving Akane what she
most wishes most. Another kiss from the great Sanzenin Mikado. That
partner of hers must be a very violent person."
"Maybe he's jealous," offered Azusa cheerily.
"Jealous?" asked Mikado. Azure eyes were filled with the fire
of outrage. "He must want Akane all for himself! Doesn't he know
monogamous relationships are stifling?" Clenching his jaw Mikado
muttered, "The selfish toad best prepare for defeat." Heaving Azusa
into the air Mikado spun her over his head as he skated at a fast pace
towards the approaching Akane and Ryoga. "Akane!" shouted
Mikado in outrage. "I'll save you from that possessive barbarian!"
"Barbarian?" questioned Akane puzzled. "What is he talking
about now?"
"I don't know," grumbled Ryoga. "But whatever it is it can't be
good." Adjusting his speed Ryoga moved to skate in front of her
saying, "Do you trust me Akane?"
Blinking at this odd question Akane exclaimed, "Of course I
trust you Ryochan!"
"Good," said Ryoga grimly. "Then get ready to fly."
"What?" Akane asked before releasing a high pitched yelp of
surprise as Ryoga easily lifted her over his head.
Holding Akane tightly by the waist Ryoga reassured, "Don't
worry Akane. This is all a part of my plan." Tilting his brown eyes
upwards he met Akane's gaze. "Please believe in my Akane. I would
never allow anything bad to happen to you. I'd rather die then seem
you harmed."
"Ryochan..." whispered Akane tenderly. Changing into a face
of conviction she affirmed, "Do it."
"Okay," murmured Ryoga. "I'll always be there for you Akane.
Remember that these next few moments."
Akane was about to question Ryoga on why he would say
such a thing when she felt herself being hurled through the air. Light
brown eyes widened as Akane looked down at the swiftly shrinking
figures of Ryoga and the Golden Pair. Flying high above their heads
Akane held back the urge to scream in fear. Closing her eyes tightly
Akane fought to control her fear of heights. The only thing that kept
her calm was recalling the face of Ryoga as he assured her nothing bad
wouldn't happen to her. She trusted Ryoga more then she had trusted
any other. He would never fail her. Never. Akane believed that with
her entire being.
Down below Ryoga gave one last look of concern at Akane
who was flying high above his head. He had to move fast if he was
going to catch up to Akane. Crouching down lowly Ryoga ducked
under the still spinning Azusa and pulled back fist to pound it harshly
into Mikado's midsection. He smiled at the grunt of pain the figure
skater released as he flew past the pair. Rising to his full height Ryoga
lifted his gaze to track Akane's descent. Pushing his powerful legs into
full gear Ryoga skated forward with his arms extended. Moments later
he gracefully caught Akane in his grip and beamed at the dark haired
girl who was erratically breathing.
"You were wonderful Akane," he murmured proudly.
"Me?" blinked Akane. "You were the one who came up with
that..." She trailed off as light brown eyes became fixated on something
other than Ryoga's handsome face. "Ryoga?" Akane questioned
nervously. "Ranma did work with you on how to stop, didn't he?"
"I never quite mastered it, why?" asked Ryoga easily.
Not answering Akane simply pointed ahead and Ryoga
moved his gaze from her to the rapidly approaching wall they were
nearing. Emitting a loud scream of terror Ryoga lost all control of
balancing abilities and collapsed to skid across the ice on his butt. All
while still holding Akane in his arms. The couple spun in a dizzying
circular motion around the rink finally coming to a stop when Ryoga
planted his hands firmly on the ice. When they came to a halt there
were small clouds of smoke surrounding Ryoga's hands which were
bright blue. Shivering Ryoga stuck his hands in the sleeves of his
turtleneck in an attempt to warm them.
"C-c-cold..." he stammered shakily.
"Maybe I should've spent more time on teaching him how to
stop," remarked Ranma.
"I don't think it would've helped much Ranchan," said Ukyo
dryly. From her lap C-chan meowed her soft agreement and Ranma
rewarded her with a gentle rub to her tummy.
Eyeing the purring cat suspiciously, she had woken up that
morning sporting several mysterious scratches, Sakura commented,
"At least Ryochan got a good punch in. That's bound to slow down
Sanzenin."
"Or serve to make the fool more determined," noted Kodachi
as she observed Mikado rising to his feet.
"I am rarely ever brought to my knees," said the recovering
Mikado arrogantly. "You will regret it."
Beside him Azusa was smiling widely while maintaining a close
position to her partner in case of a relapse. Despite her limited
capacity for logic even Azusa knew he had sustained some serious
injuries since joining her on her quest to claim Charlotte as her own.
Wobbling slightly Ryoga released his grip on Akane's arm that
he'd been using to steady himself. Taking two careful steps forward he
growled, "If you dare try to lay a finger on Akane again I'll do worse
than bring you to your knees!"
"Oh?" Mikado asked contemptuously. "What's that?"
Surrounded by a quickly rising battle aura Ryoga snarled, "I'll
crush you with my bare hands! That's what!" Extending his hand
Ryoga sliced through the air until it rested in front of Akane.
Symbolically protecting her from Mikado's reach. "Akane is mine!
Touch her again and I'll kill you!"
"Well," Nabiki said dryly. "Never in my wildest dreams was
this a perspective outcome in the match."
"Hot damn," whistled Sakura. "He actually did it. Ryochan laid
claim to Akane."
Shaking her head Ukyo replied, "Too bad the idiot can't get
the courage to simply tell Akane he likes her. Instead he chooses to
announce that she's his property in a rink full of hundreds of strangers
during a match."
"Akane doesn't seem to mind," Ranma added wryly.
"I think it's rather romantic," purred Kodachi. "Big strong
brutish man protects helpless woman and all that. I never knew Ryoga
had such gentlemanly instincts."
Suddenly the group shifted their gazes as the slowly rising
battle aura of Tendo Soun rose. Apparently he was less than happy in
this sudden change in his youngest daughter's social life. Paling at the
large demon form Soun had taken on the martial artists shouted their
simultaneous regrets at what they said. Of course his little girl would
tell him before she got involved with a boy romantically, they agreed.
For what reason would she keep it a secret? Certainly not because
she had an over protective Father!
Staring at Ryoga with a mystified expression Akane wondered
if what he'd just said was true. Do you really want me to be yours
Ryochan? Do you care for me like I care for you? These thoughts
were averted by a sudden piercing of several screams in the audience.
Akane blinked as a large brawl broke out among the spectators.
What's going on? Akane pondered. She was stopped from pursuing
this line of thought as the low chuckle of Mikado filled the air.
Cracking his knuckles Mikado smirked, "You may think she's
yours vagrant but I assure you it won't be true for much longer. I'll
take it as a personal challenge to break your insidious ties and set
Akane free so she may join my legions of admiring female fans."
"You can try," snarled Ryoga dangerously.
"I'll do better than that," Mikado bragged. Pushing back his
bangs easily he continued, "She won't be your captive much longer.
For we, the Golden Pair of Kolkhoz high, go by another name!"
"The Anti-Matchmakers!" they proclaimed together as Azusa
hopped into the air to rest the palms of her hands on Mikado's
shoulders.
"Oh my," said Kodachi, sounding nothing at all like Kasumi. "I
knew I had forgotten to mention something of importance to them
involving the Golden Pair."
Blinking Sakura turned to her girlfriend. "What're you talking
about Dachi? What'd you forget to tell them?"
Before Kodachi could reply Nabiki abruptly rose to her feet
saying, "I'll see all of you later. My instincts say what is about to
happen will be affecting the odds. Time to call in the reserves and
adjust the point spread."
The group watched the brunette disappeared into the mass of
spectators. Impatiently Sakura tugged on Kodachi's sleeve to the
white silk blouse she wore.
Meeting Sakura's glittering green eyes Kodachi smiled
seductively, "Yes Sakura darling?"
"What'd you forget to tell them Dachi?" demanded Sakura a
bit peeved.
One of the dark gymnast's glaring faults was she had a
severely limited memory at times. Sakura thought that sometimes
Kodachi simple picked what she wanted to remember and
conveniently forgot everything else. It was a talent of the Kunos, it
seemed, to recall only the pleasant and often ego salving events in life.
"Oh!" cried Kodachi in alarm. Biting her lip she turned violet
eyes towards the rink where the Golden Pair were beginning the
attack which had caused so much alarm in her earlier. Pointing
forward she said, "Observe and all shall be revealed."
Fighting the urge to ask for a less cryptic answer Sakura
focused her green eyes at the rink below hoping that whatever was
about to happen wouldn't bring about her best friend's downfall. After
all, she smiled inwardly, life is just starting to get really interesting.
"What?" Ryoga puzzled. His expression darkened and he
snarled, "Speak clearly and make some sense for once you babbling
buffoon!"
The overly excited voice of the Announcer interjected
screeching loudly, "And this is what we've all been waiting for! The
infamous Couple Cleaver! Also known across all of Japan as the
Goodbye Whirl!"
Smiling widely on hearing this description Mikado boasted,
"No couple we ever faced on the ice ever stay together after we're
done with them. You too shall face this fate Hibiki! Know that soon
Akane will be free of you!"
Shaking his head in clear irritation Ryoga growled lowly, "I
wish he would shut up already." Tilting his gaze to Akane he said,
"Ready to incinerate these twits Akane?"
"Y-yes," Akane answered in a stammering whisper. Pulling
herself out of the self-induced catatonic state on hearing Ryoga's
proclamation to Mikado. There would be time to talk to Ryoga about
what he had said after the fight was over. Right now she had to
concentrate on winning.
The couple charged ahead as the Golden Pair approached
them at hurried speeds. Holding hands Akane and Ryoga leapt into the
air in perfect synchronization. Aiming their similar kicks at the Golden
Pair in a movement of pure skill. It was then that Mikado grabbed
hold of Azusa's waist and sent his partner hurdling through the air at
Ryoga. Intercepting the lost boy Azusa sent him flying backwards as
Akane went on without him. Akane managed a safe landing while her
aimed kick missed Mikado. Ryoga wasn't so fortunate, the extra
weight of Azusa clinging to him sent him sprawling on his back and into
a semi-unconscious state. Wearily opening brown eyes he was met
with the sight of the Azusa's ample cleavage hovering over him.
Feeling himself becoming light headed Ryoga allowed the petite figure
skater to pull him to his feet. Almost at the point of passing out again
Ryoga snapped out of this state as the scream of Akane filled the air.
"HEY!" Akane bellowed as she flew across the ice wearing a
face of fury. "Get your hands off him!!"
Looking up into the nervous face of Ryoga the figure skater
beamed. "You're wide open," called Azusa in sing song tones that
sounded oddly reprimanding.
Before a stunned Ryoga could react Azusa went sliding
between his legs grabbing onto them and sending the lost boy falling
face forward his arms extended. While this occurred the barreling
figure of Akane grabbed onto Ryoga's proffered hands as Azusa lifted
her legs up to Mikado who grasped them in easy expectancy.
Exhibiting a strength most would think unknown to him Mikado lifted
Azusa high into the air and the helpless forms of Ryoga and Akane
soon followed. No sooner than he had accomplished this incredible
feat the figure skater began spinning at an amazing speed in a clear
circular motion. Soon all four competitors were nothing more than a
blur in the eyes of the crowd.
"The Goodbye Whirl!" Mikado's haughty voice echoed up to
the harried couple. "None may escape it's wrath! Know this well
Hibiki, your destruction is imminent!"
"This is what you forgot to warn them about Kodachi?!" Ukyo
shouted incredulously as she watched the ever increasing speed of the
spiral before them.
Looking quite embarrassed Kodachi coughed as she replied
weakly, "It slipped my mind Kuonji. I admit it to be more than a small
error in my efforts to aid in their training."
"Akane!!" wailed Soun in desperation. He was crying
profusely as he observed what he felt to be a doomed fate for his little
girl. In one day he discovered his little girl had a romantic relationship
with a boy, rather he let himself see their developing relationship finally,
and now she was going to die. "Akane!!!" Soun redoubled his efforts
to reach his daughter verbally. As if by hearing his voice she might be
leant his strength in the upcoming battle. Collapsing in a fit of tears
Soun mourned as he thought of how his late wife would react to their
youngest being in such a situation.
Averting their eyes from a scene they were well used to the
group observed the events unfolding on the ice.
"The Goodbye Whirl!" shouted the Announcer in what he
hoped to be ominous tones. "It's devastating effects are well known
throughout the martial arts figure skating world! None who face it ever
survive! Couple after couple is cleaved apart as it ruins their future
together by ripping apart the very foundation by which all partnerships
are made!"
"Listen to me Hibiki!" floated up the arrogant voice of
Mikado. "Release Akane's hand and I'll stop spinning!"
Gritting his teeth Ryoga snarled, "Burn in the fiery pits of hell
Sanzenin! I'll never let go of Akane!" As he said this Ryoga tightened
his hold on his partner's wrists.
"Go on," taunted Mikado. "Let go. You know you want to.
You can't possibly hold on much longer. The longer you hold on the
worse it will be for you."
"Ryochan!" called Akane in desperation. Light brown eyes
met dark brown ones. "Let go! I'll be fine!"
"Akane..." Ryoga said lowly. "I told you I won't allow harm to
come to you. I'll never let you go!"
Observing the spinning figures before him the Announcer
smiled smugly. This was the epic move of all the Golden Pair matches.
The Goodbye Whirl always brought in a crowd and the pair never
failed to employ it as their ultimate technique in battle. Pushing his horn
rimmed glasses up the bridge of his nose he chuckled.
Grabbing the microphone the Announcer yelled into it, "And
here is where the Goodbye Whirl gets its name! If one partner betrays
the other then they will be spared but what then?! A terrible tragedy
beyond all others in martial arts sporting events!"
Heh, thought the Announcer to himself, that ought to annoy my
sister if she's in the audience. Lets see her try to tell me rhythmic
gymnastics is a more entertaining sport after this match is over.
Azusa released a low feeble moan as they continued to spin at
a horrendous pace. "Little Azusa isn't feeling so good... let go of the
girl already. If Azusa hurts this much must be worse for you."
"Forget it!" growled Ryoga obstinately. "I'm not letting Akane
go!"
"Ryoga," pleaded Akane. "I'll be fine. Just let go of my hands!
I don't want you hurt!" As she said this Akane was squirming to
release herself from Ryoga's hold.
Seeing this Ryoga's brown eyes widened in fear. "Akane no!"
he screamed in loud protest. "Please stop it! I can't let you do this for
me!"
Still trying to free herself from Ryoga's grip Akane demanded,
"Why not?! You don't think I can handle it? I'm a martial artist
Ryochan! I can take it!"
"But I can't!" confessed Ryoga. "Akane I'll never let you go!
Not here not ever! I love you! If something was ever to happen to you
I couldn't take it! My life would end!"
Pausing in her struggles Akane whispered, "You love me?"
Light brown eyes filled with tears. "Oh Ryochan..."
"Ooooh," moaned Azusa, her face was now an sickly shade of
green. "Little Azusa is going to barf..."
Suddenly the petite figure skater released her hold on Ryoga.
Sending both he and Akane flying through the air. Still tightly gripping
Akane's wrists Ryoga tilted his gaze past her to see they were sailing
towards the far wall to the rink at an incredible pace. Gathering all his
strength Ryoga flipped his body over Akane's so that he would take
the brunt of the impact against the wall. Protecting Akane from harm
as he vowed he always would. In a momentous crash Ryoga slammed
into the rink wall while Akane skidded with minimal pain on the ice
below. Stuck to the wall looking much like a flattened fly once hit by a
swatter Ryoga released a weary groan before falling on the ice next to
Akane. As he did this large chunks of the wall fell with him. Lying flat
on his back dark brown eyes searchingly gazed up into light brown
ones.
"The Goodbye Whirl had failed!" shouted the Announcer in
clear disbelief. "Challenger Hibiki never let go of his partner's hand!"
After saying this the Announcer pulled away from the microphone and
began sobbing. The ultimate technique of the Golden Pair had been
beaten by an unknown challenger. What was martial arts figure skating
coming to? If the pair lost this match his career was as good as gone.
Just like his sister's.
"Ryochan!!" shouted Sakura at the top of her lungs. A moment
later the street fighter propelled herself into the air in a high leap and
disappeared into the crowd. Headed for the rink sidelines to seek the
fate of her best friend.
"Sakura darling!" Kodachi cried as Sakura exited hurriedly. A
moment later the gymnast was dashing after her leaving the rest of the
group wide eyed and silent.
Sighing Ukyo rose to her feet. Holding C-chan in her gentle
grasp she said to Ranma, "We better go see if Ryoga's okay. And
keep an eye on Sakura while we're at it."
Nodding his silent agreement Ranma followed after his
iinazuke to discover the condition of their friends on the ice rink below.
Reluctantly Genma rose to his feet and drug the sobbing figure of Soun
to pursue the exiting boarders.
"Akane," murmured Ryoga. Shakily he lifted his hand to touch
her cheek and Akane held it firmly. "You're safe."
Sniffling Akane replied, "Of course I'm safe! All thanks to
you..." she said softly. Helping Ryoga into a sitting position Akane
began shyly, "Ryochan... what you said back there? Did you mean it?"
Turning an extreme shade of red Ryoga stammered, "I don't
know what you mean Akane."
"Oh..." Akane said sadly. She must have been mistaken.
Ryoga didn't really mean what he said. It had just been a reaction in
the heat of the moment. To stop her from struggling against him inside
the whirl.
Seeing this sudden change in Akane's attitude Ryoga bit his lip.
Stop being such a coward! His mind shouted at him. Just tell her!
"Akane..." began Ryoga slowly. He swallowed nervously as her
doleful eyes met his own. "I-I meant it. I... I love you Akane."
"Really?" asked Akane, in need of reassurance.
"R-really," Ryoga stumbled with his words. His heart was
hammering out of control and he already found this more difficult than
any battle he'd been in.
Light brown eyes filled with tears of joy and Akane released a
happy cry before pulling Ryoga into a tight embrace. Frozen in
surprise at first Ryoga slowly adjusted to having Akane in his hold and
softly wrapped his arms around her waist.
Smiling softly as she tilted her head back Akane gazed deeply
into Ryoga's eyes saying, "I love you too Ryoga."
"Akane..." whispered Ryoga tenderly. Tracing the lines of her
face gently he lost himself in the depths of her luminous gaze.
"Impossible!" Mikado's arrogant voice interrupted their spell
of happiness. Together the couple adjusted their stares to take in the
forms of the Golden Pair. Mikado was standing with an irate
expression on his face while behind him Azusa was barely keeping her
balance looking quite dizzy. "Every bone in your body should be
crushed. Nothing human could have withstood that blow!"
"Heh," laughed Ryoga. Rising to his feet in a smooth
movement Ryoga pulled Akane up with him. "Then you've never faced
a Hibiki in battle because that was nothing more then a mere scratch.
Besides," Ryoga looked at Akane and smiled. "Your Goodbye Whirl
was a failure. I didn't let go of Akane and I never intend to."
"No matter," replied Mikado easily. "This match isn't over until
I have freed Akane from your grasp." Saying this Mikado moved into
motion, preparing to attack Ryoga, when he felt his legs being pulled
out from underneath him. Slamming face first into the ice Mikado
turned on his side to see the glowering face of Azusa glaring at him.
"What did you do that for you silly wench?" demanded Mikado.
Ignoring this verbal order Azusa skated forward in a
mesmerized state and focused her gaze on Ryoga. "Charlotte?" she
questioned in hesitant tones.
"What?" squeaked Ryoga.
Matching her gaze Ryoga lowered his eyes and saw that his
green turtleneck had been ripped in several places from the altercation
with the rink wall. One of which was the portion which had served in
covering up the pink collar labeled Charlotte that Azusa had locked on
his form.
Eyes wide with panic Ryoga hastily covered the collar and
laughed his high pitched nervous laugh. "I'm sure I don't know what
you're talking about!"
Not about to be averted Azusa skated forward in quick
determination. Prying Ryoga's hands away from his neck she stared
hard at the pink collar she had placed there. Raising her gaze Azusa's
light blue eyes glowed with obvious adoration.
"You're Azusa's little Charlotte!" she cried happily.
Laughing again Ryoga removed her hands from his person
while shooting a desperate look to Akane. "Don't be ridiculous," he
scoffed. "I'm a human being and this Charlotte of yours is a pig. See?"
Ryoga reasoned. "There's no way I could be Charlotte."
Puzzling over this a moment Azusa shook her head adamantly
and said, "Oh no! Azusa knows you must be her little Charlotte.
You're wearing her little collar. Azusa knows because she locked it
with her little key." Saying this the figure skater pulled the key from her
bust where she had apparently been hiding it.
Immediately Akane snatched the key away from Azusa and
pocketed it in her own skating costume. Azusa yelped in protest,
"Give that back to Azusa! That's Azusa's little key to Charlotte's
collar!"
"His name is Ryoga not Charlotte!" shouted Akane irately.
"And he isn't your pet, he's a human being!"
Absorbing this information Azusa turned her gaze back to
Ryoga who seemed to pleading silently for her to understand the
situation. Suddenly blue eyes became alight with joy and Azusa leapt
on Ryoga capturing him in a sensuous embrace.
"Azusa knows! If Charlotte is really a human being then he can
join Azusa's little fan club!" Tilting her head backwards Azusa gazed at
Ryoga wearing an adorable expression. Fluttering her eyelashes she
asked, "Don't you want to be one of Azusa's boyfriends Charlotte?"
Saying this she ran her fingers softly down his face.
Turning bright red Ryoga was about to offer Azusa a nervous,
but heartfelt, rejection when Akane cut in shouting, "Get off him!
Ryochan is my boyfriend!"
In a strong gesture she ripped Azusa off Ryoga and the two
girls began bickering loudly as Ryoga watched on in certain
amazement. It was then that Mikado shakily rose to his feet. Slashing
his arm through the air the figure skater pointed an accusing finger at
Ryoga.
"You derelict womanizer!" Mikado seethed. "Turning not only
Akane against me but my partner as well! You'll pay for infesting their
minds with your propaganda!"
As he said this Mikado leapt into the air aiming a strong kick
at Ryoga who watched him derisively.
"Who're you calling a womanizer scum?!" asked Ryoga
incredulously.
Launching himself into the air Ryoga pulled off his black belt
with a snap and straightened it forming a sword. In a strong swipe the
belt wrapped around Mikado's leg. Yanking back the belt Ryoga
hurled Mikado face first onto the ice. This move caused a momentous
shock wave to ripple throughout the rink. Effectively making the ice
shatter apart and leaving it broken in several dangerous slabs of ice
floating on freezing water.
Landing next to Mikado who was slowly reviving himself to
consciousness Ryoga studied the rink warily. What had he done? If he
got wet now his curse would be revealed to a rink full of strangers.
Not to mention the danger involved in the ice being split apart like this.
Glancing at Akane he saw that she was unaware or uncaring of the
rink's instability and was still fighting Azusa with some determination.
"Charlotte will be Azusa's! You don't deserve such a cute
boy!" shouted Azusa contemptuously while she focused a high kick at
Akane who dodged it quickly.
"Oh no!" Akane scowled, quickly retrieving her mallet from
thin air and raising it back in the air. "Ryochan is mine!"
Mimicking this movement Azusa produced a mallet of her own
and sent it crashing against Akane's. Breaking apart the two girls
continued to battle with their oversized mallets as Ryoga watched on
helplessly.
"The rink is now completely shattered with blocks of ice
floating on freezing water!" shouted the Announcer in harried tones.
Flipping through his notes he pushed up his wire rim glasses informing
the crowd, "For those who don't know this is a specially made rink
that was at one time a swimming pool. The impact of Hibiki's assault
on emperor Sanzenin Mikado has destroyed the stability of the ice!"
Releasing a deep breath the Announcer smiled widely. Seeing
how the combatants would get out this one would be a miracle within
itself. Feeling incredibly smug he knew his career was safe at last. This
would a match long remembered in martial arts figure skating history.
Glaring up where the Announcer sat Ukyo muttered angrily,
"Maybe you should've told them about the rink before this happened?"
The group were gathered nervously around the rink sidelines
watching as Akane continued to battle Azusa while Ryoga grasped
anxiously to the slab of ice. The lost boy was concentrating on the fight
between the two girls, not noticing that behind him Mikado was slowly
lumbering to his feet a look of rage on his features.
Widening green eyes Sakura shouted loudly, "Watch out
Ryochan!! Look behind you!"
Hearing the warning of his best friend Ryoga flipped around on
his back and saw the enraged figure of Mikado hovering over him.
Releasing a yelp of surprise Ryoga quickly rolled to one side avoiding
Mikado's skate as the skater lowered it ominously by his head.
Hoping to crush Ryoga with it. Before Mikado could strike again the
yell of Sakura met Azusa and Akane's attention.
Shifting her bright blue gaze Azusa saw her partner attacking
Ryoga and released a high pitched gasp.
"Mickey!" she chastised in harsh tones. "Don't you hurt
Azusa's little Charlotte!!"
Moving into action Azusa jumped on the back of Akane's
head using it to propel herself forward. Retrieving her mallet again
Azusa bashed Mikado over the head with it and the pair began their
own battle as Ryoga regained his balance. Moving over on his
stomach dark brown eyes widened as Ryoga took in the figure of
Akane who was wobbling precariously on the shifting ice. A moment
later Azusa managed to connect with her mallet sending Mikado
slamming into the far wall to the rink causing a powerful tremor. A
tremor which shook all the free floating slabs of ice, including the one
Akane was standing on.
"Unbelievable!" The Announcer wailed watching the scene
before him. "Lovely Azusa has felled her partner and for the first time
in their long and distinguished history the Golden Pair have forfeited a
match! The blow from Azusa's mallet has shaken the entire rink
causing Tendo Akane to lose her balance as Hibiki helplessly watches
on!"
"AKANE!!" screamed Ryoga, panicking as he watched the
dark haired girl lose her balance.
Moments later Akane crashed, falling on her back on the
shifting slab of ice and went sliding helplessly into the icy waters
below. A second later she resurfaced floundering in the freezing water
before sinking once again.
"She can't swim?" whispered Ryoga stunned.
With resolve Ryoga pushed himself to his feet quickly. Having
no other thoughts in his head than rescuing Akane, he dove into depths
of the freezing water. Ignoring the change of the Jusenkyo curse as it
effected Ryoga's system altering him from a human into a black piglet.
It didn't concern Ryoga in the least, no matter what his form he would
rescue Akane. She was his life and she was his love. Nothing would
deter him from this path. So with steely eyes of conviction Ryoga
piglet sliced through the water and towards Akane at impressive
speeds. Pushing his tiny head under her stomach Ryoga piglet tipped
back his black head and saw an opening in the ice slabs above their
heads. Focusing all his strength Ryoga piglet propelled his tiny body
forward, until both he and Akane broke the surface of the icy water.
Exhausted from this trial Ryoga piglet was barely conscious as
he felt strong arms take control of both his and Akane's bodies. A
second later he was being lifted from the water with gentle hands.
Tiredly Ryoga piglet saw he was being cradled by a worried Sakura.
Turning his gaze away he saw backside of male Ukyo as he dashed
away holding Akane in his arms. Satisfied that Akane was now safe
Ryoga piglet allowed himself to slip off into state of deep
unconsciousness.
Slowly brown eyes opened and Ryoga felt himself being
drawn out of the land of slumber and back into the real world.
Immediately the first thing to enter his mind and pass his lips was,
"Akane... how is Akane?"
"I'm fine," returned a gentle voice at his side.
Shifting his gaze Ryoga saw that Akane was sitting to the left
of the cot he lay in covered in a thick blanket and wearing a face of
concern. Pushing himself up into a sitting position Ryoga studied her
frame carefully. Akane seemed in perfect condition with the exception
of the reddish tint her skin had taken on. Ryoga assumed that this was
caused from the sauna or some other means to return heat to Akane's
frozen form after falling the depths of the icy rink water.
"Akane," murmured Ryoga. "I'm so relieved. If anything were
to happen to you, if I had failed--"
"But you didn't," Akane cut in softly, clutching his hand on her
own. "You protected me Ryochan... just like you promised you'd
always do."
A loud coughing fit pierced the air and the couple turned their
gazes to observe the uncomfortable form of Tendo Soun standing in
front of their otherwise amused group of comrades.
Narrowing his gaze Soun took in the couple cautiously then
said gruffly, "Yes well... I thank you for rescuing my Akane, Ryoga. I
won't forget that or your loyalty to her anytime soon." Pausing Soun
seemed to battling himself inwardly before he continued slowly, "And I
suppose if Akane is to be with any boy you're an ample choice."
The room was silent for a long moment before Nabiki said
wryly to a baffled Ryoga, "What I think Daddy is trying to say is he
approves wholeheartedly of your dating Akane." Turning to her Father
Nabiki smirked. "Isn't that what you meant Daddy?"
"Err," Soun looked even more uncomfortable. Sighing loudly
he reluctantly admitted, "In so many words, yes, I was saying that
Nabiki."
Again the room was silent then Akane rose quickly to her feet
and dashed across the room to pull her Father into a strong hug
murmuring of her love for him. Soun seemed pleased at this action and
the pair began a quiet conversation as the others left them for Ryoga's
side.
"How're you doing buddy?" asked Ranma easily, he
approached with C-chan riding on his shoulder.
Still dazed at what just happened Ryoga blinked before
replying, "I'm doing great now!"
Snickering at this Ranma said, "Yeah I guess I'd feel the same
way if I was you too. Ojisama Tendo is pretty overprotective at times
and it looks like you just got what's close to his seal of approval."
"You're the man Ryochan," remarked Sakura teasingly. Sitting
down on the cot next to her best friend she informed him, "Do you
know you two are the first couple to ever beat the Golden Pair? The
Announcer was still wailing about it last time I checked."
Ryoga was considering this thoughtfully when out of the
corner of his eye he saw something flying towards him. Snatching the
object quickly in his hand Ryoga stared at a small metal key then
grinned, looking up at Ukyo.
"I figured you might want to take that collar off now
Charlotte," Ukyo wore a lopsided grin.
"Kuonji..." Ryoga growled a playful warning before using the
key to unlock the tight pink collar he'd been forced to wear thanks to
Shiratori Azusa.
Holding the collar in this hands Ryoga gave it one last
disgusted look before tossing it into the garbage. Kodachi observed
curiously that he tucked the key into his pocket.
Tilting her raven head Kodachi queried, "Keeping the key are
we Ryoga? For what purpose does this serve?"
"Sometimes," Ryoga said casually. "It's wise to have reminders
of the bad for us to better appreciate the good."
"In that case you'll need a souvenir for tomorrow Ryoga,"
sighed Ukyo. "Because believe me, it's going to be a day for the
record books." Ukyo paused forming a wry expression. "For Furinkan
at least."
Perplexed Ryoga questioned, "Why is that?"
Simultaneously Ukyo, Ranma, and Nabiki met each others
gazes and formed similar wary faces before Ukyo slowly began
explaining their mutual agreed plan for erasing the current rumors
surrounding Ranma. While the conflict with the Golden Pair was now
over it seemed that yet another struggle faced the dojo boarders. Soon
as one was defeated more always arose. And so the cycle continued...
but as Sakura had said in so many words earlier, their lives were just
getting interesting. It would be a shame to stop now.
Standing on the stage to the large school auditorium at
Furinkan hazel eyes scanned the crowd of students with cool
calculation. Nabiki had arranged the event with her usual efficiency
and she felt assured that most, if not all, of the populous of their school
was in attendance. Calling in the favors the Audio Visual club owed
her Nabiki was satisfied with the several large screen televisions
residing in the front of the stage to ensure all the students got a good
look.
Not to mention the video camera recording it all for posterity.
Nabiki had discussed the arrangements to some lengths with Ukyo
and the okonomiyaki chef hadn't protested in the slightest to Nabiki
selling the tapes for a tidy profit when this was over and done with.
Just thinking of the prospective earnings of that particular business
venture made Nabiki smile. Shifting her gaze Nabiki looked towards
the wings where Ukyo stood clad in a pair of black pants and tank-
top wearing a wry expression. Seeing Nabiki's gaze Ukyo gave her
the thumbs up signal and the middle Tendo sister nodded before
crossing to the middle of the stage and tapping on the microphone.
"Attention!" called Nabiki in calm cool tones. The buzzing of
voices persisted and Nabiki rose her volume repeating, "Attention!!" A
hush fell over the students and Nabiki smiled in slight pleasure at this.
"Thank you. Now, as you all know I've called you here on the request
of one Kuonji Ukyo. She has something of some importance to reveal
to you all so give her the proper form of respect and be silent during
this presentation. After all," Nabiki formed a devilish smile. "From her
daily fights with Kuno know what she can do to those who displease
her."
On this comment the auditorium was filled with an
overwhelming silence as Ukyo sheepishly entered from the wings and
crossed the stage. Ducking her head she hissed to Nabiki, "Why'd you
say that Nabchan? You scared them half to death! That wasn't the
point of this!"
Shrugging Nabiki replied, "But it's part of the fun of it."
Dismissing Ukyo's low mutterings at this Nabiki produced a bucket of
cold water and a kettle of hot water then murmured, "The best of luck
to you my friend."
Sighing Ukyo watched Nabiki disappear off-stage before
walking to the microphone. Staring at it then at the large crowd of her
fellow students she coughed nervously.
"I suppose you're all wondering why I asked Nabiki to
arrange all of this," began Ukyo weakly. "Mainly it has to do with my
iinazuke Saotome Ranma." Saying Ranma's name Ukyo drew strength
from it and reminding herself of his presence in the auditorium. "I know
you all are aware of the rumors about him since you're the ones
spreading them and I wanted to tell you they're all wrong." At this a
low buzz of voices spread through the crowd and Ukyo frowned then
coughed loudly. Immediately the students silenced themselves again
Ukyo resumed her speech. "I know what some of you saw, and what
the others heard about, has caused you to think he might be..." Ukyo
paused on saying the word then sighed. Don't back down now girl,
she thought to herself. You're almost there. Gaining her resolve Ukyo
finished saying, "Yaoi. This isn't true and I'm going to explain to all of
you why Ranma allowed himself to be kissed by another man without
beating the stuffing out of him."
Pausing Ukyo bent to lift the bucket of cold water into her
grip. "Several months ago I was traveling through China with my
Sensei Genma who is Ranma's father. In the process of that journey
we came upon the ancient cursed training ground of Jusenkyo. The
legends say whoever falls into a spring takes on the form of whatever
first drown there however many years ago. I had the unfortunate luck
to fall into the spring of drowned boy. So now," Ukyo took a deep
breath gaining all her determination. "Whenever I'm splashed with cold
water I change into a boy. Hot water brings me back to my natural
female state. Observe." Drawing away from the microphone Ukyo
held the bucket up high so it was in plain sight. "This is a bucket of
cold water." In a quick gesture Ukyo overturned it on her head and
closed her eyes as she felt the change overcome her system. Altering
her body until it grew in size, shifting and changing until she was a he
and all that was feminine had gone leaving a clearly masculine form.
Opening sandalwood eyes Ukyo took in the shocked faces of the
Furinkan students.
Grabbing the microphone in his steady grip Ukyo began
gruffly, "I'm am the one who Kuno calls stupidly, 'the ponytailed boy'.
I am also the one who last Friday kissed Ranma against his will while
under the influence of what could only be called perverse training
techniques. Those of you who were there will note that I wasn't acting
normally that day. In fact, by all standards I could be considered
technically having the mind of a..." Ukyo took a deep shuddering
breath before stammering, "C-c-cat." Feeling a sense of relief flood his
system at this Ukyo grinned before continuing, "Nabiki has attained
several photographs of my earlier state that day and has a pamphlet
which explains the training behind the Nekoken which caused this
condition. If you wish to know more you can see her about purchasing
them and a video of this demonstration when I'm through. Now,"
Ukyo cleared his throat before bending to set down the bucket and
pick up the kettle. "This is a kettle full of hot water. Watch."
In a repeat of his earlier movement Ukyo overturned the kettle
on his head and the change hit his system as his form shrank and Ukyo
returned to her normal feminine state. "As you can see," Ukyo smiled.
"I am once again a girl. This is how my curse works and I hope all of
you will be kind in dealing with it. And please remember," sandalwood
eyes held definite warning. "If you feel any desire to activate it for mere
amusement recall my training in the martial arts and the fact that the
majority of my closest friends are also more than adept in the art as
well." Several of the students looked sickly at this comment and Ukyo
got the feeling she needn't worry about such action anytime soon. "I
hope this has dismissed any and all rumors involving my iinazuke's
sexuality. My Ranma honey is twice the man he ought to be, despite
what all of you have done to him. Try not to indulge in uninformed
gossip. The next time you do you might really hurt somebody because
of it. That's all."
Saying this Ukyo smoothly departed the stage leaving Nabiki
to deal with the slowly developing chaos upon hearing her revelation.
Crossing the stage quickly Nabiki grasped the microphone in her easy
hold and wearing a shrewd smile said, "If you have any further
questions involving the matters brought before you, they may be
answered by purchasing the aforementioned pictures, pamphlets, and
video tapes of these events. All will reveal Ukyo's condition in the
clearest and most scientific means possible. And at reasonable prices!"
Her smile widening Nabiki amended, somewhat reasonable prices.
After all, she thought, our product is limited and obviously in demand.
"We made a killing," drawled Nabiki. She wore a satisfied
smirk as she stared at the neatly arranged stacks of yen from that
afternoon.
School had just ended and the group were gathered in the
sitting room indulging Nabiki, along with their own curiosity, by aiding
her in counting the profits from Ukyo's auditorium confession. Sitting
with the students were Nodoka and Soun as well as an unconscious
Genma. He'd been made that way by Ukyo after she caught him
attempting to steal some of the money. Kasumi had left for the
afternoon to visit her college campuses and wouldn't be back until
later.
Resting her chin in the palm of her hand Akane said, "I wish I
could've been there." She formed a sour face. "But instead I had to
watch that idiot Kuno."
"Sorry Akane," Ukyo was sheepish. Scratching the back of
her head she explained, "But if we let Kuno into the auditorium he
would've made a big fuss and made the entire event a disaster."
"Sometimes I think poor Kuno baby will never understand,"
commented Nabiki dryly.
"If he did then he wouldn't be Kuno, would he now?" Sakura
replied with a smirk.
"I think it was quite clever of Ukyo and Nabiki to use the
situation for their own means. Instead of letting it remain a problem
they changed it into a something of value," said Nodoka proudly.
"Thanks Obasan Saotome," flushed Ukyo.
From Ukyo's lap C-chan released an contented purr as the
chef softly rubbed her belly. Smiling softly Ranma wrapped an arm
around his iinazuke's shoulder as the group continued their wandering
conversation the couple focused on their pet who responded happily
to this attention.
Hidden in the shadows in perfect concealment was a girl with
chestnut colored hair and glowing sapphire eyes. Narrowing them she
took in the scene before her with certain disgust.
"<Cousin,>" she murmured in her native language. "<I was
sent here by Great Grandmother to see if you had succeeded in your
mission in regaining your husbands. Yet I find you meekly playing the
role of a pet to them. Such a position is unworthy of a person of your
tribal rank.>" A dangerous glint in sapphire eyes she ran her fingertips
across the handles of a pair of large double axes. "<For your own
sake and for the sake of our tribe I have been ordered to carry out
your duties if you cannot. And from the looks of things it appears your
burden will soon become my own. These outsiders need to be taught
that they cannot shirk their responsibilities. Either they take you as their
wife Cousin or their petty lives will end on the morrow.>"
Sheathing her axes the girl crouched her powerful legs,
springing from her hiding place to stand on a high telephone pole.
Giving the Tendo dojo one last look she said lowly, "<On my vow as
tribal Enforcer I can do no less for you my Cousin and future leader.
Someday you will thank me for doing this Shan-pu.>" Saying this the
Amazon stealthily bounded away into the night while planning her
attack.
To be continued...
All characters in this fanfiction are from Ranma 1/2.
Except for Sakura who is from Street Fighter and Perfume who is
borrowed from Wade Tritschler. This fanfiction was inspired by the
works of Rumiko Takahashi, Wade Tritschler, Jim Robert Bader, and
many other cool folks.
Send comments to: Dreiser1@ix.netcom.com
Visit other Altered Destinies at:
www.fortunecity.com/lavendar/attenborough/249/index.htm
Next up: It's an Amazon invasion as Cologne and Perfume storm
into town searching for Shampoo, causing more chaos for the dojo
gang with their tricky tribal laws.
WATCHING A GAME SHOW:
HOST: The capitol of North Dakota is named after what German
ruler?
HOMER: Hitler.
MARGE: Hitler, North Dakota?