Her mother had re-married after her fathers death.  Soon
it would her mother and her new step-fathers anniversary.

"father's"

"Soon it would _be_ the anniversary of her mother and her stepfather."

them.  they wouldn't be sad either.

"They"

her down conciderabley.

considerably

"We'll always be together, if our feelings are connected....
Vann."

Hmm.

I like the way this story is written.  Very nice, a good insight into what
Hitomi's feeling and why she wants to go back.

The problem I have, however is... why did she leave in the first place?

It's a slight weakness at the end of the anime:  Hitomi and Van appear to
have discovered that they love each other very much.  They celebrate by
sending Hitomi home.  Hitomi appears to *want* to go home, and Van doesn't
appear to be trying to talk her out of it.

So if they loved each other so much, why did they separate?

It's important that question be answered, because we need to know what's
changed that makes Hitomi want to go back now.

I myself have buried in the back of my mind a fanfic idea to write a
Van/Hitomi scene to take place just before the parting scene, in which they
discuss their feelings for each other and the reason why they must leave
each other.

Personally, I see them having a kind of spiritual love.  A very rare kind of
love in which their souls are in touch with each other but not necessarily
accompanied by physical longing.  I can see both of them getting married and
being in love with their spouses and *still* love each other from afar, and
not see any contradiction.

However, I admit that's a bit new-age.  :)

For your fic to really work, I think you need to work a bit on why Hitomi
left in the first place, either with some introspection on her part or
perhaps a flashback scene.  As it is, one wonders how a Hitomi who feels
this way could have ever left Gaia in the first place.

Other than that, this fic was nicely executed.

-Richard