Date: Thu, 15 Oct 1998 00:04:08 +0900
To: ffml@fanfic.com
From: Mark Page <ayanami@merlin.net.au>
Subject: [FFML] [FF] [SM] Waiting For Minako Part 11
Waiting for Minako
by DDFA (Mark A Page)
Part Eleven - The Sand
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Scene: A beach, supposedly in North Queensland (cue banjos) but this
has not been confirmed by our operatives. Ami and Makoto are
wandering the beach in the kind of skimpy swimsuits that would
normally be used in an anime of ecchi standards. Of course, this is
a fanfic, and so the vision of the pair wearing them is occurring
entirely within your own mind, like the perverted, sick little creep
that you are. ^_^
You say that like it's a bad thing....
Both of them stare up at the bright sunshine
that normally never happens in Queensland, since, much of it being
in the tropics, the only thing one ever sees in the sky during the
daylight hours are the buildup of dark, threatening storm clouds
that almost invariably turn into storms at about 4 in the afternoon.
Which is a good reason not to go there. Try Adelaide on your next
holiday to Australia. It might be boring as all fuck, but hey, you
can see the sun most of the time. This message was brought to you
by the South Australian Tourist Commission, the most underfunded
tourist organisation in the Southern hemisphere. It's tourist
organisations like this that make a holiday to Uzbekistan seem like
such a logical choice. ^_^
Ami: It's hot.
Makoto: Yes, it is, isn't it.
Ami: Damned hot.
Makoto: You're not wrong there.
Ami: How long has it been since we left our towels?
Makoto: I can't remember.
Ami: Where did we leave our towels?
Makoto: Back in Hawaii, I think.
Ami: That's impossible. We can't have walked from Hawaii to
Northern Queensland.
Makoto: Why?
Because neither of us is named Hibiki or Jesus.
Ami: Because we would have gotten wet. We would have brought
our towels in that case.
Makoto: As normal, your logic surpasses mine.
Except that the towels would have gotten wet, as well, making them
worthless, heavy baggage. Easier to get new towels.
<snip>
Makoto: STRESS? STRESS? WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'M STRESSED?
I'M NOT STRESSED. HOW DARE YOU THINK I'M STRESSED!
Ami: .....
Makoto: .....
Ami: You see.... This is what comes from not having a
boyfriend.
Makoto grips Ami by the strap of her swimsuit top and pulls her
forward, violently.
Freemage fervently offers a prayer to the gods of cheap fabric and
cheaper thrills.
Makoto: One instant head ventilation system, coming up....
Ami: Wait, it was just a joke....
As Makoto lifts back her free fist to thump Ami one, a sand dune
drops on top of the pair of them, smothering them both with a
cacophony of frightened cries. After about a minute, their heads
pop out from the top of the dune.
Nope. Damn. ~_*
Makoto: Okay, Miss Brain, explain the sudden and rapid movement
of this friggin' dune.... They're not supposed to move
that quickly.
Ami: .....
Makoto: Ya can't, can ya?
Ami: Give me a few moments to postulate a ridiculous, but due
to current events, mildly possible, theory.
In the background, they can both hear the sounds of heavy machinery.
Makoto: What the hell is that.
Ami: Aha! Now I KNOW this is Queensland.
Makoto: What do you mean?
Ami: Coastal land developers.... That's why the dune was
dumped on top of us. They don't like cheap tourists.
Makoto: .....
Ami: .....
Makoto: .....
Ami: .....
Makoto: Would you like a hand getting out of this dune?
Ami: Actually, I rather like it here.... It's cooler in the
sand than it is out of it.
Makoto: If I don't get out of it, then I'm gonna become out of
it. Would you mind explaining to me how we managed to
be in Queensland.
Ami: Existentialist angst on the part of the author?
Makoto: Yes, well, that would be a contributing factor. By the
way, isn't it about time one of us are killed?
Ami: What do you mean?
Makoto: He always kills one of us off, usually in the first
chapter....
Scene: Tokyo. Usagi is sitting on a park bench, minding her own
business, when from out of nowhere, an arrow goes through her head.
After putting on a silly expression of surprise for what seems to be
a minute, she falls to the ground, dead. We return to the beach,
where Ami is looking daggers at Makoto.
Aww... You never do the outers for your opener.
Ami: Why'd you HAVE to remind him?
Makoto: Ah, it's nothing.... He'll just resurrect her later.
Ami: Yeah, to kill her again....
Makoto: By the way, don't you feel rather silly having a
conversation whilst you are up to your neck in sand?
Ami: .....
Makoto: .....
Ami: The sand....
Makoto: What about it?
Ami: It's awfully white.
No. You wouldn't.
Makoto: .....
Ami: .....
Makoto: What about it?
Ami: Don't you think the sand is white?
Makoto: Yes, it's awfully white. What about it?
Ami: I just thought I'd mention it.
You couldn't.
Makoto: What is the point?
Ami: Hmm?
Makoto: What is the point?
Ami: What is the point of anything? I really do wonder,
sometimes....
Makoto: Not that! I mean, what was the point of mentioning the
colour of the sand?
Ami: What is the point of anything? I really do wonder,
sometimes....
ARRGHH!!! You did. Fuckin' Hemingway! And not one of the novels,
nooooo, you've gotta do the world's most annoying short story.
Makoto: .....
Ami: .....
Makoto: You didn't take your medication before we left, did you?
Either that, or the author OD'd....
END OF PART 11
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Will Minako ever arrive? Are Ami and Makoto buried up to their
necks in sand, or is it just a figment of their imagination. For no
answers to these questions, stay tuned for the next exciting chapter
of the interminable saga of Ami and Makoto in "Waiting for Minako".
Wrapped in a super-dimensional 3D txt file, maybe. ^_^
Hey! What happened to the other two, anyway?
Why do I care?
Oh, just keep writing.
--Freemage
_________
/ @ \ DDFA (The Right Dishonourable Mark A Page)
/ / ^ ^ \ \ ayanami@merlin.net.au
/</ w \>\ Chief Propoganda Officer, Keeper of
\/ \/ the Tapes and Co-Founder of the Saitou-chan
\___________/ Appreciation Society - Adelaide Japanese
/_/ \_\ PU Animation Society
Version 32.1 - Wednesday, October the 14th in the Year of Our Lard
1998 (Snork Snork Snork)
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