The FFML Reviews List
=====================
For the week of: September 26 - October 2, 1998
Reviewers:
Paul Arezina <arezina@acad1.stvincent.edu>
Helen Szeto <Helen@eiw-ca.com>
Shunsuke <shunsuke@mailcity.com>
Synopses Submitted: 24
* * * * *
[Ah Megamisama!]
- - - - -
Title: Guard the Future, chapter 3
Series: Aa! Megami-sama!
Genre: self insert, comedy-drama
Author: Andrew Huang
Email: alhuang@hcs.harvard.edu
Homepage: http://www.hcs.harvard.edu/~alhuang/anime/fanfic/myfics/
Date Sent to FFML: Er...10/1, I think
Size: ~19K
Summary:
The training of a guardian angel. Fun, fun, fun!
Plus, Andrew does something really stupid: challenge Urd to set him up.
{Shunsuke}
If this is rambling, it's not much different from the author's
usual efforts. The comic moments are good attempts, but they're
only amusing, not quite in the range of funny.
This chapter is mostly "setting up and explaining for later", but
it does have interesting elements. (No pun intended.)
At least "uh-oh" isn't Sayoko. O_-
* * * * *
[BubbleGum Crisis]
- - - - -
Title:Quincy's Lover: Prologue
Series:BGC
Genre:X-Over
Author:Paul Cousins'
Email:paul_cousins@yahoo.com
Homepage:[None]
Date Sent to FFML:9-30-98
Size:4k
Summary:The secret to Quincy's success.
{Helen}
Oh my. Oooooh my. Think ruthless. Think skin-flint. Think...
Quincy-sama's lover. Oh my. Oh my. It's right well enough
for a prologue and I certainly look forward to reading successive
chapters. I've seen BGC crossovers before... from Biles, Davies,
Liefker, but this one certain places a different spin on that
villian we love to hate ^_^;
{Shunsuke}
A water problem and a wife? Yeah, and his first start-up
enterprise was in making garage kits with a fat friend. 9_9
* * * * *
[Evangelion]
- - - - -
Title: A Future of Possibilities (Rough Draft)
Series: Neon Genesis Evangelion
Genre: Alternate-Future/Universe
Author: Kahlil Noriega
Email: Becknkal@addax.bc.ca
Homepage: www.geocities.com/tokyo/temple/9371
Date Sent to FFML: Oct 03, 1998
Size: 30kb
Summary:
A continuation of the 5-minute alternate future presented in episode #26
of NGE
What would Shinji's life have been like, if there was no 2nd impact, or
NERV, or SEELE? That he still has a mother and a father that love him. A
redhaired best friend, and a new blue haired classmate. Not to mention a
very sexy teacher ^_^
It would have been like any other normal 14 year old boys life. Or is
it?
PS. Sorry about rushing this though, schools going to be quite busy in
the next few days. ^_^
{Shunsuke}
If the author does continue this, what's he going to do? Have
Gendo be lawyer and spout poetry by _Abe_? O_-
How much of this works depends on how you feel about Shinji's and
Asuka's pasts; if you feel their hidden demons prevent them from
behaving normally, then this makes sense, but if it doesn't, you
won't like this. I did.
Since there's no overwhelming evil looming on the horizon, the
action will have to focus on the characters. So far so good, now
to see if the author can continue it (in both senses).
- - - - -
Title: Apocrypha ep. 2: "Upon an Alien Soil"
Series: Neon Genesis Evangelion
Genre: Alternate timeline ("what if?")
Author: Shachihoko
Email: trmiller@bcpl.net
Homepage: http://www.bcpl.net/~trmiller/
Date Sent to FFML: Sept. 30, 1998
Size: 26K (approximate)
Summary:
Michael Fire Hawk's claims about Eva-04 seem too outlandish to be
believed, but some of those claims have to be looked into, or so Cmdr.
Ikari decides. Michael has started meeting his fellow pilots, but he's
still very much a lost young boy in a strange country, not even able to
speak the language well yet. Eva-04 is his only companion, in a way - but
what can it really do for him, alien as it is?
{Shunsuke}
Nice to see someone (or something) take Gendo down a notch or two;
also I like the idea of Fire Hawk being a Native American with
traditional beliefs, thus a different viewpoint from Christianity.
And on the even-more-positive side, this is the first time I've
seen an American or author insert fic where there is a plausible
reason for his existence; most of the time, the reasons for the
appearance of new characters is flimsy at best.
If I were writing this, I don't know how I would handle Michael's
reactions to his situation and events or if I would write them the
same way, but this is at least believable. Some of the regulars
really haven't done much yet even though they've made appearances,
but there's nothing that goes beyond what you'd expect. What I
kept wondering as I read it was what direction the story will take
and what key event will be the focus. So far, there's no hint of
it, though the plot isn't so slow that you don't care anymore.
* * * * *
[CrossOver]
- - - - -
Title: Angels, Heaven, and Earth
Series: Evangelion/Tenchi Muyou
Genre: Crossover
Author: Ken Arromdee
Email: arromdee@inetnow.net
Homepage: http://www.inetnow.net/~arromdee/fanfic.html
Date Sent to FFML: Sept. 30 1998
Size: 12K
Summary:
It's the year 2015. Tenchi and Ryouko have been happily married since the
twentieth century. One day their 14 year old son gets a notice that he's
been selected for a special school, which Washuu figures out is really to
recruit giant robot pilots....
{Helen}
This story has wonderful potential...EVA pilot Akuma (^_^;) and
with Washuu-chan around to throw the probabilities of trouble out
of whack! It's a good beginning and is fairly light in terms of
most NGE fanfics. It's more close to the humour and lightness of
Tenchi than Eva.
{Shunsuke}
This is a half-and-half prospect. On the one hand, the idea of a
person with Juraian powers would make for an interesting pilot (the
similarity between the light hawk wings and an AT field is probably
where this idea came from), but on the other I don't really see how
Christian myth could jibe with having people from other planets,
regardless of the series. Also, the way Shinji lets his heart
bleed is too much too quickly; opening up is generally difficult
for him, and I really can't see him letting people get that close.
That's not to say he can't, but if Shinji isn't that close to Toji
and Kensuke, I can't see him opening up to a stranger.
- - - - -
Title: The Eyes Of Stone Faces, Part 1
Series: Sailor Moon / Ah! Megamisama
Genre: Serious, Darkish.
Author: Adam Christopher Leigh
Email: Omicron@sprynet.com
Homepage: http://dogbert.simplenet.com/Tempest/awwaf.html
Date Sent to FFML: October 1, 1998
Size: 46k
Summary:
Before Ragnarok ever fell upon our Earth (as referenced to in A World
Without A Future), a struggle began between forces that changed the
fate of the entire world. Gabriel Knight is confronted with a foe of a
calibur he has never fought before, but he knows someone who has.
Meanwhile, Belldandy is plauged with nightmares while Skuld monitors
drastic changes in the fabric of space-time itself! Prose format.
{Shunsuke}
Certainly on the darkish side, moreso than AMS or SM usually get,
which is good, but this story does require some familiar with
Gabriel Knight which I don't have. There is some explanation and
background given within the story, but it may not be enough for
people new to the series.
So far, events are well paced and make sense for the most part,
but there's no obvious connection to the Sailor Scouts and why
they are there. If that's explained later, that's fine, but for
now, what I see is them being called on, nothing more.
Oh, and if you feel you must indent your paragraphs, please
reformat them; if you don't, you'll end up with word wrapping.
- - - - -
Title: A Hell of a Life
Series: Ranma and Others
Genre: Mega Crossover
Author: Shaule Sachs
Email: sachss@db.erau.edu
Homepage: http://erau.db.erau.edu/~sachss/FanFic/
Date/time story was sent to FFML: Mon, Sep. 28
Size: 519 lines 26638i bytes
Summary:
While fighting an Oni with Happosai, Ranma is transported to
Hell. In order to get back home, Ranma fights his way out of Hell and
Journeys through various other "Universes". When he gets home, he
finds out that only a month has passed for Nerima's residents while a
longer period has passed for him.
{Shunsuke}
The submitted synopsis doesn't say whether it is just one part or
all three that are being offered, so I'm assuming it's all three.
There's a heck of an idea here, and one that would be worthy of a
long story, but therein lies the problem: this is a short piece.
There's a lot that could use more explanation and detail, and a
chance to add so many more events and growth in Ranma's life. As
well, a chance to see how things would change Happosai would be
nice. ^_^ So much more could be done with this that it's a shame
to see it like this; to the author, take it back and think on it,
then give it a second try. It doesn't need to be Hearts of Ice,
but it could be.
Also, take the time to read it over, *please*. There are a lot
of verb tense problems and mistakes that a spell check can't fix.
- - - - -
Title: The Silver Saotome
Series: Ranma 1/2 and The Silver Surfer
Genre: comedy
Author: Ryoucilo
Email: bogue@negia.net
Date Sent to FFML: 9/ 13/ 98 A little late I guess.
Summary:
Ranma 1/2 crossed over with The Silver Surfer. Funny stuff
happens. What more do you need to know?
{Shunsuke}
Uhh...no. This idea really doesn't work for me, it doesn't seem to
have that much potential for a series. As a one-off joke, it's
funny, but I've seen better. Now, if it had been based on Nick
Fury....
The story itself is another "Day 1" fic with everyone meeting for
the first time.
- - - - -
Title: Awakening of the Dragon Part 3
Series: Ranma and Sailormoon
Genre: Crossover
Author: Shaule Sachs
Email: sachss@db.erau.edu
Homepage: http://erau.db.erau.edu/~sachss/FanFic/
Date/time story was sent to FFML: Mon, Sep. 28, 1998
Size: 456 lines, 23757 bytes
Summary:
"Fusion Tokyo" will be, I hope, a series of interconnecting
crossover stories between various Anime/Manga series and my original
work of "Adventures of Zaxxon Hunter."
"Awakening of the Dragon" Part 3: Ranma and Akane come to Juuban
and the Sailor Senshi meet them...
{Shunsuke}
Hmm...the idea of Ranma and SM/Usagi being related seems more than
a stretch in believability, though as a plot device and means to
explain who knows who, it works. There's still a lot of roughness
to this that needs cleaning up (wrong or missing words, pronouns,
tenses) to make this easier to follow.
Minus the long winded explanations of the first two parts, this is
much more regular a story. Not too much has happened yet to talk
about whether the setup makes sense, but way in which the two
series are matched works so far.
- - - - -
Title: Eye of a Stranger Chp 4
Series: Ranma/SM crossover
Genre: Mixed
Author: Long Ngo and Lord Talon
Email: talon@sgi.net
Homepage: http://www.geocities.com/tokyo/dojo/2881
Date Sent to FFML: 9/29/98
Size: 30+ K
Summary:
Ranma's Life starts anew in Juuban. New hobbies, new enemy,
memories and friends turns up in this new installment.
{Shunsuke}
A little less angst in this part than the previous ones, it still
carries the same tone as before. Ranma's inner darkness is kept
fairly deep and not treated as something easily solved which helps
give this a sense or reality; it's nice to see the slapstick humour
being avoided to maintain this feel.
I don't know if the pairing of Ami and Ranma is an obvious and
unlikely matching or just a red herring until the author's real
intended girl appears; the pairing isn't overdone, though I don't
expect to see it be to a romance. I personally can't see Ranma
falling for a girl younger than he. (Then again, if it's well
written.... <crosses fingers>)
* * * * *
[Final Fantasy VII]
- - - - -
Title: Conflicts of Interest - Part 6 (rough draft) - (1/2), (2/2)
Series: Final Fantasy VII
Genre: Continuation/Alternate Reality
Author: Madamhydra
Email: madamhydra@aol.com
Homepage: http://www.geocities.com/~madamhydra
Date Sent to FFML: 09/26/98
Size: 49 K, 39 K
Summary:
This story is a continuation of Final Fantasy VII, which takes
place after the Meteor incident. A year has passed, but suddenly the
WEAPONs have returned. As Cloud and his friends investigate the WEAPONs
and a mysterious theft, the team finds that dead enemies don't stay dead
while Reeve discovers some very interesting facts about the tangled
relationships between Sephiroth, Cloud, and Zack. It seems that Cloud's
not quite who he appears to be....
In part 6, a kidnapped Cloud is dragged in front of a familiar mad
scientist. As Hojo prepares to resurrect Sephiroth, a badly disoriented
Cloud
wanders through a tangled maze of memories, not all of which are his own.
{Shunsuke}
Despite my not having read any earlier parts of this nor have I
seen the game or anime on which it's based, I was able to quickly
get a grasp on the situation. And yet, none of this seemed like a
repetitive retelling or part-synopsis of earlier chapters. All the
descriptions and events were well described, not over-written, and
the breaks between present and past had more flow and continuity
than most stories with flashbacks where it feels like prior events
are just thrown in; here, it works. But I would like to see the
author put just a little more effort into making things right.
The *worse* (sic) thing you can do is use the wrong words, and
moreso when it's one used over and over.
* * * * *
[Plastic Little]
- - - - -
Title: Interlude
Series: Plastic Little
type: Lemon
Author: Doug Whiddon
Email: Doug_w@geocities.com
Date Sent to FFML: 10-3-98
Size: 11
Summary:
Gratuitous sex involving a man and women, two women, and several
farm animals. (kidding)
{Helen}
^_^;;;; Farm animals? ^_- Short, and perhaps typical in terms of
its treatment of the PL cast. The relationship between the two
women was first suggested by Mr. Davies so there's nothing really
new -or- shocking. The fic seems to suffer from the lack of
formatting -- capitals following one another and with some spell-
checking good pass muster as a plausible lemon fic.
* * * * *
[Ranma 1/2]
- - - - -
Title: A Different Faith
Series: Ranma 1/2
Genre: Series backstory
Author: Gary Kleppe
Email: kleppe@execpc.com
Homepage: http://www.execpc.com/~kleppe/comics.html
Date Sent to FFML: 9/26
Size: 57 kb
Summary:
A history of the family of Shan Pu (aka "Shampoo"),
specifically her mother Ke Lashi. Lashi rebels against the teachings of
the Amazons, and wants to learn the ways of the outside world. She is
refused permission. Then traveller Shan Peine shows up in the village,
and Lashi sees him as a possible way out.
{Shunsuke}
Tradition is the old corrupting the young to appease the dead, as I
have long said. Man, does this hit home, being an individualist in
a world of sheep. ^_^
The author's ability to take newly created characters and integrate
them seamlessly into the series is at its best here, giving them
life, humanity and intelligence and letting us see it from inside
their heads. My only questioning about this story was why Ke Lashi
didn't kill Shan Pu when she was in the cage; I'm not anti-Shampoo,
but emotionally it would have made more sense to me for that to
happen in this story.
Also, I like the author's sense of humour: unless it comes from
France, you have to call it "sparkling white wine"; since Shan Pu's
father is Chinese, Peine can't be called by his full name. ^_^
- - - - -
Title: Wheel of Fire #3.5: Epilogue to the Beginning
Series: Ranma 1/2
Genre: Continuation
Author: Andrew Hubbard
Email: TendouNabiki@webtv.net
Date Sent to FFML: 10/2/98
Size: 30kb
Summary:
This is a side story for Razorclaw X's "Wheel of Fire"
series (with his permission, of course). Continues where #3 left off.
{Shunsuke}
The story picks up with a quick pace and goes faster toward the end
with the final fight. There's a lot of action and things pretty
much follow the standard Ranma-type fights, though that's not to
say things are predictable.
The story does lack a little, though, in terms of flow; sometimes,
the long fight scene reads more like an outline than a description,
and occasionally loses the 'feel' of the TV series, or even other
parts of this story. If I had read the other parts of this series,
I might have a different opinion once I'd gotten into the writer's
style, but I haven't had to time to do so. ^_^
- - - - -
Title: Angel
Series: Ranma 1/2
Genre: Serious/Dark
Author: Nicholas Leifker
Email: nightelf@thekeep.org
Homepage: http://www.thekeep.org/~nightelf/fanfic/index.html
Date Sent to FFML: September 28, 1998
Size: 196k
Summary:
At his bachelor party, Ranma is given a potion causing his curse
to go out of control. This causes a shakeup within the Tendo and Saotome
families, especially within Ranma and Akane's relationship.
Note: This is a prequel story to 'Iris', and is set in the year preceding
that work.
{Shunsuke}
Much of this story reads like a slightly modified pre-Thy Outward
Part fic, with the pain of a permanent curse for Ranma and the pain
he/she feels and problems that are dealt with. For the most part,
what happens makes sense and follows a logical series of events,
but I found a few problems that kept this from working.
Why such sudden disappearances of major cast members? Be it Ukyou,
Shampoo, Cologne, or any of the others to not even mention Nabiki,
it feels like there's a huge hole with a minimal explanation as to
why. Also, the middle section ("I'm a man/you're a woman") spins
its wheels for too long and bogs down the pace. Still, the
symbolism of the rebuilt dojo and Ryouga's appearances are well
timed and used, and might have been used even more.
The ending to this story doesn't work for me; not the events, but
the means at which they arrive at. All throughout, Ranma is slowly
coming to terms with who she will have to be. But while Ranma's
drastic act makes sense, the final events don't feel right, it's
like the ending was rushed off at a deadline. I'm not saying this
idea is without worth, but it could use a revision.
- - - - -
Title: Soul of Ice: Point
Series: Ranma 1/2
Genre: Serious
Author: Matthew Lewis
Email: maybeso@ican.net
Size: 9kb
Date sent: 09/27/98
Summary:
Cologne tells Ranma about the Soul of Ice and a few other things.
She also makes him an interesting offer.
{Shunsuke}
Much too jumpy and inconsistent in how Cologne behaves, this could
use a second effort. Though this is a short piece and there's no
space for it, it would have helped to know Cologne's motivation to
make sense of this.
Also, as I said elsewhere, if you indent your paragraphs, *please*
reformat them. Nothing's worse than word wrapping.
- - - - -
Title: Soul of Ice: Counterpoint
Series: Ranma 1/2
Genre: Serious
Author: Matthew Lewis
Email: maybeso@ican.net
Size: 11kb
Date sent: 09/27/98
Summary:
Happousai decides to show Ranma his view on things this time,
and makes a familiar offer. (first draft)
{Shunsuke}
Actually, no, Mr. Author, this one makes sense of the two despite
what you say. There's a depth and consistency in the way you have
portrayed Happosai that makes him real; Ranma is a cardboard cutout
in this story, but what transpires is at least believable.
- - - - -
Title: Ranmaspotting 6-7
Series: Ranma
Genre: dark
Author: neB
Email: kergillian@hotmail.com
Homepage: http://www.crosswinds.net/japan/~prpchan/little.htm
Date Sent to FFML: 9/27/98
Size: 12k
Summary:
Ranma and Ukyou, sitting in a tree, H-E-R-O-I-N.. it's what you
get when you take the Ranmaverse and give it the morals depicted in
Trainspotting
{Shunsuke}
There's shades of "Beautiful Liar" here. I've learned my lessons
from the past, so all I will say about this one is "No".
- - - - -
Title: Shampoo 1/2 Chapter 36: Those Who Would Dare Dream of Tomorrow III
Part A
Series: Ranma 1/2
Genre: Alternate Universe
Author: D.B. Sommer
Email: sommer@3rdm.net
Homepage: http://www.geocities.com/~azatlan/Special-Series/shampoo.html
Summary:
It's the beginning of the end as round one between Ranma and Company vs.
the Eight Devils of Kimone at last kicks off.
{Shunsuke}
Getting nasty, aren't we? ^_^ There's still some of the standard
stupidity as the TV series, but this just gets darker and darker as
it progresses. Unlike a lot of other authors' battle scenes, this
one doesn't get ahead of itself in describing events, each pairing
of opponents is followed in concurrent time and _still_ manages to
avoid jumping around too much between them. Nice touch.
The pace doesn't slow at any point, and the writer manages to avoid
getting bogged down on any particular detail. It sure would be
nice if I had the time to read this entire series. ^_^ (As a side
note, the feel of the action and relationships here seems less like
"Ranma 1/2" and more like those in "Project A-ko Vs." Just an
opinion, of course.)
* * * * *
[Ranma 2096]
- - - - -
Title: Terror (Alpha draft)
Series: Ranma 2096
Genre: Dark slapstick
Author: Chris Willmore
Email: 4cw6@qlink.queensu.ca
Homepage: http://qlink.queensu.ca/~4cw6/2096a.htm
Date Sent to FFML: September 29th
Size: 19K
Summary:
'Kyoofu' means 'Terror' in Japanese. In this story,
we take a glimpse into the motivations behind R2096's most
notorious villain. Oh, yes. There's worms, too.
{Shunsuke}
Boy, did I make a mistake having a snack at the time I chose to
read this. ^_^
The narration and description are revolting and sickening, yet so
compelling at the same time. What goes on here transcends evil,
the narrator is simply vicious with no humanity. Yet for all of
how the telling disgusted me, I couldn't stop reading, and that's
not because I do this list.
* * * * *
[Ranma 1/2 / WOD]
- - - - -
Title: Diablerie:Nerima 6
Series: Ranma/WOD
Genre: xover
Author: P-R-P-Chan and neB
Email: prpchan@colba.net or neB <kergillian@hotmail.com>
Homepage: http://www.crosswinds.net/japan/~prpchan/little/
Date Sent to FFML: 9/27/98
Size: 7k
Summary:
Ukyou finds a new pet, Kuno swears revenge for his servant's
death, and Nabiki tries a new hobby...
{Shunsuke}
I've only just come across this series now and read all the parts
before I got to this one...and I must say, there is potential here,
but this would be a much better idea as an entirely dark fic. The
attempted humour here just doesn't ring true, though the plot line
is interesting. Unlike the other fic the week by the same author,
this story actually goes somewhere despite gratuitous description
of events.
* * * * *
[Sailor Moon]
- - - - -
Title: Stories of Life-Makoto
Series: Sailor Moon
Genre: Continuation
Author: Ajax
Email: breaker@technologist.com
Homepage:
Date Sent to FFML: 24 September
Size: 17 Kb
Summary:
Makoto reflects on her life five years after the ultimate
battle against Galaxia, and takes a ride at night through a bad part
of town.
{Shunsuke}
Man, this is painful to read; I know they're only fictional chara,
but it always hurts to see someone hurt. The writer must have been
on a real emotional low to put down something like this.
Having said that, the storytellings is far better than last week's
story "D-Point", this is much clearer and better written. That's
probably why this one hits home more.
* * * * *
[Tenchi Muyo!]
- - - - -
Title: The Good of the One (A)
Series: Tenchi Muyo: Post MNE
Genre: Original Flavor/Continuation
Author: Phillip Masters
Email: PhilMasters@webtv.net
Homepage: N/A
Date Sent to FFML: October 3, 1998
Size: Unknown
Summary:
The day starts out rather normally for the Tenchi cast.
However, something new is about to arrive, and perhaps this time they
won't be able to cope with the reprocussions.
{Shunsuke}
Yes, this does fit well into either TV or OAV series, and feels
much like the original; I'd prefer a little more of its own feel,
though.
The introduction of the ship in the far-off sector could use a
little more description and explanation, but overall how events
are described is well done. One thing I don't like though, is the
fan convention that Washu is near omnipotent with her scientific
abilities; there has to be some limit and reality to it. While it
is sometimes funny, it's much like the general convention that
Ryouga ends up all over the world. (I'm not saying this about this
author in particular, but about all TM writers in general.)
- - - - -
Title: First (K)night
Series: Tenchi Muyo!
Genre: Lemon
Author: Doug Whiddon
Email: Doug_w@geocities.com
Date Sent to FFML: 9-28-98
Size: 11
Summary:
Tenchi's wedding night with Ayeka
{Helen}
I seem to remember this as a lemon -side-story- to
the -other- Tenchi story that Mr. Widdon is writing.
Nothing earth-shattering occurs (^_^) but there are a
few interesting scenes before the lemon part --
i.e., Washuu's machines could put certain lingerie
shops and boutiques out of operation ^^; Somehow,
Ayeka's portrayal reminds me more of Ryouko than
anyone else.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
End of the FFML Reviews List for the week of October 2, 1998
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