Kasumi's Lullaby



I guess my first clue should have been when I turned
that corner and the temperature dropped twenty degrees.
Sure, the weather in Texas can really change quickly,
but it never goes from 104 to 80 in a moment, not in
the summer, with no clouds in the sky. That, and the
fact that I stepped out of that alley shortcut into
darkness stopped me cold. It had been broad daylight
when I stepped in. I knew where the alley went to, 
and it wasn't here. Something was wrong.

I'm not usually one to obviously panic. Instead I tend
to slow down a bit when things get too weird for me to
handle. It gives me more time to feel out a situation.
I looked around for a moment. There was something
different about the street in front of me. Later, as I
chewed this over, I would realize that the street was
too narrow, as if built for very small cars and light
traffic. Right now though, I decided that the best
thing to do was to turn around and go back.

I did. I reached another street, lit only by the
streetlights.

I was trying to figure out what to do next, when I
spotted the ramen stand. Trying not to think too hard
about what seeing a ramen stand on the street meant, I
strolled over to it, trying to look casual as I went.

I checked my wallet (a habit I have before going into 
a restaurant) before ducking under the cloth flap of 
the stand. 1700 yen Tokyo driver's license with my 
name in katakana and my picture on it. Multiple 
business cards and scraps of paper. Some written 
in kanji in my handwriting. All legible.

I exchanged the usual pleasantries, then ordered a bowl
of Ramen with pork, before pumping the owner for
information. That I was able to do this surprised me,
having had less than a five year old's vocabulary in
Japanese just five minutes ago. The owner didn't look
too surprised, until I asked what city I was in.

"You aren't related to that boy, are you?" He asked.

"What boy?"

"The one with the bandana who's always asking
directions."

"No.  I don't think so." I said, after wiping my chin.
(I had choked on that last bit of information.)

"Oh, ok." He said, not bothering to answer me. (Not
that he needed to anymore. I knew where I was. How I
got there...that was another question worth asking, but
I
doubted he would be of much help.)

I paid my 675 yen, then slunk away to sleep in that
alley, hoping that I would be back where I belonged 
by next morning.

*    *    *    *    *

I awoke to the sound of a long, sweet horn. A train.

<So much for waking up near home.> I thought.

Not bothering to get up yet, I mulled over what to do
next.

<No idea how I got here.>

<No idea how to get home.>

<Might as well go gawk at the locals.> I thought,
grinning to myself.

I got up and dusted myself off, wondering how I was
going to survive on 1025 yen. After a few moments, I
had the answer. I got up and strolled off in search of
a pawn shop.

It only took me an hour or so to find the shop, where I
pawned off my college ring for 30,000 yen, a somewhat
frazzled backpack, and a disposable 35mm camera with 24
shots.

As I put the money into my wallet, I noticed that
several of the business cards were mine. Looking at
them more closely, I saw my phone number and section
name. I went to a pay phone, and dialed the general
number, then asked for my section leader.

"Tanaka here." Came the voice that they sent me to,
presumably my section leader.

"Ah, Tanaka-san, this is Davis."

"Davis-kun, how is the vacation going?"

"Quite well! I'm really seeing some interesting things
this time.  Please remind me to tell you about them
when I get back. How are things at the office?" I had
no idea who I was talking to, or what I really did for
a living. Hopefully, it was similar to what I did
before.

"Just fine! No need to worry! You go and relax! Relax!
Ok?"

"Sure!" I said. "I'll be back in next Monday?"

"You just left yesterday." He said. "Please feel free
to take the full two weeks you planned." (I could
actually hear him squinting and smiling over the phone
as he said this.)

"Ok." I said. "I will, and I'll come back really
rested!"

The call escalated into a war of pleasantries from
there, the type that set my teeth on edge. I finally
managed to end the call.

<Well, I won't starve.> I thought. Still, there was
something eerie in the way all of this was just falling
into place.

Having taken care of that, I wrenched my thoughts away
from the mundanities of life. After all, I was in
Nerima, and I had a camera.  (One has to have one's
priorities after all.) I sauntered off down the street
to get some directions, wondering where to go first.

Being somewhat peckish after only having one bowl of
ramen the previous night, I decided to go to the
restaurant with the best "scenery", and made a beeline
for the Nekohattan. (Yea, I'm a lech. So sue me.) 
After all, it'd be a real shame to let all of that film
to go to waste...

Imagine my surprise and disappointment when I get
there, only to find that it's closed. Not just, "out
for the day", but locked and boarded up, with enough
weather stains on the boards to tell me it had been
that way for some time.

<Not good> I thought.

So I took the next logical path, and asked directions
to the second most infamous restaurant in Nerima,
Ucchan's. Having acquired a taste for the dish from a
restaurant in Dallas, I was quite interested in tasting
some truly world class okonomiyaki, especially if the
cook was a cute as I thought she'd be.

<Again...> I thought. The trek over to Ucchan's had
been
futile. It was also boarded up and abandoned.

I was actually starting to really get weirded out.
After all, if I was going to have a psychotic breakdown
and play Catnip_kun in Ranmaland, it should at least
have all of the players, shouldn't it? (Especially the
cute ones!) This was like walking in a ghost town.

<Guess I'll have to check the other places too.>

Finding myself back at that same street and ramen
stand, I decided to get some lunch and directions. This
time I noticed the look that the owner gave me when I
asked about the Kuno estate. I also asked for
directions to Dr. Tofu's, planning on going to the
closest one first.

"Please leave."

He had said it so quietly that I almost hadn't heard
him, then proceeded to ignore me until I finished and
left. I had to leave the money on the counter; he
wouldn't acknowledge me to take it.

<...>

Not knowing the way to Dr. Tofu's clinic, I started out
for the Kuno estate, wondering all the while why asking
for directions got me that reaction.

As luck would have it, Dr. Tofu's was on the way.
Unlike the Nekohattan and Ucchan's, it was not boarded
up, but it was closed for renovation.  No one answered
when I knocked, so I decided to go on to the Kuno
estate. I was both excited and nervous about the
prospect of meeting the "mistress" of the mansion, but
somehow was more worried that she and her brother would
also be absent.

Again, no answer. I looked down at the bottom of the
gate. Sand had drifted up against it. I thought about
climbing over the gate and investigating, then
remembered the family and dimness that I was dealing
with. Not having a death wish, I decided to stick with
what I could observe from the street. Climbing up the
gate, I looked over. The yard was a mess of dead leaves
and overgrown grass. That was enough for me.  I got
down and moved on.

Now I wandered, not really knowing where to go, or what
to think about what I had already seen. The reader
might wonder why I didn't make a beeline for "ground
zero" of the district, as it were. Truth be known, I
didn't want to be disappointed again. I found a park,
sat down on a bench, and thought.

The fact that the landmarks were there, but the people
weren't, was really disturbing. Like everyone had just
left, for some reason. I was halfway tempted to take
pictures of Ucchan's and the Nekohatten, to see if
ghosts appeared when I developed them. (That's how
weirded out I was.) I kept waiting for Rod Sterling to
leap out from behind a nearby bush. I kicked at it,
half hoping in some delusional way that it would be
Tsubasa. No such luck.

<No help for it then.> I got up and started to leave
the park, trying to find the only place in Nerima that
might give me answers, if it wasn't also abandoned.

As it was, it took me the rest of the day to find it.
There was no listing in the phonebook, and people kept
going funny on me when I asked if they knew where it
was. Lacking help, I went back to Dr. Tofu's knowing
that it was within walking distance. Even so, it took a
very long time to find. Nightfall was upon me as I
finally faced the Tendo Dojo.

Not worrying about the same kind of dangers that I
would have faced at the Kuno's I opened the wooden gate
and walked up to the house. Looking at it, I realized
that I didn't have any real reason to be here. I
couldn't just walk up, pound on the door, and say "Let
me in! I'm a real fan of yours who knows more about you
that you could possibly imagine, and something's not
right! Kodachi is missing! I can't find Shampoo or
Ukyou either! Oh, while I'm here, could you show me
that trick you do with the cold water while I take
pictures?" I would sound like a deranged stalker.

I smiled to myself, thinking that it would almost be
par for the course for Ranma, but hardly a way to get
into the good graces of the household. So I instead set
my imagination to coming up with something that would
be reasonable enough to get me in so I could ask
questions.

<Let's see...>

Long lost fianc�e for Akane? No, that would cause too
much trouble.

Fianc�e for Ranma-chan? I could say that Genma traded
promises for food last month. Hmmmm. It wouldn't get me
killed, but I doubt I could keep a straight face.
Besides, the idea of even pretending that left me a
little queasy.

No, it would need to be subtle and non-obtrusive. I
thought for a moment more, then had my answer. I raised
my hand up to knock on the door, then stopped,
wondering what I would do if no one answered it. I
thought about it a moment, then realized that I didn't
know what I would do. I closed my eyes, calming myself,
then knocked anyway.

No one answered.

I waited a minute more, then tried knocking again, a
little harder this time.

After a few more moments of silence, I turned and
started to leave.

"Konbanwa", said a soft, dulcet voice from behind
me.     (good evening)

I turned around to look at the woman smiling brightly
at me.

When I was a child, my grandparents on my mother's side
had a farm. I spent two weeks of almost every summer
there. There is something about country life that city
folk like myself rarely get to experience. You don't
have to worry about what part of town you're in. You
never have to fight traffic. You may have known your
neighbors for generations.  Most importantly, there is
less to do. You end up slowing down and having to get
to know yourself, and to rest. Life takes on a gentle
rhythm. It produces a peacefulness that is rarely
matched in urban life. This woman radiated that peace
and warmth.

It was all that I could do not to cry, just looking at
her.

She looked to be in her early twenty's. She was tall,
with almost waist length brown hair and brown eyes, and
wore a yellow housedress with a blue apron. Her body
looked fit, but in a soft, flowing, feminine way.  I
looked into her eyes, and saw a gentle wisdom and
warmth that made me feel instantly accepted and loved.

<I'm ruined.> I thought, unable to keep from staring. I
suddenly realized that I had been for several minutes.
She had not stopped smiling though, and seemed to be
waiting for me to say something.

"K...konbanwa", I said, bowing slightly with sincerity.
"Tendo Kasumi?"

"Hai, how may I help you?" she asked. I shivered in
pleasure with the sound of her voice. My subconscious,
being the playful thing that it is, immediately sent me
the picture of myself, dressed like Gosunkugi, saying,
"She spoke to me!" I slapped it down fondly. (I like my
imagination. It's explaining to others why I sometimes
chuckle to myself that's difficult.)

I realized that I was staring again. I wrenched my
thoughts away from what our children would look like,
and tried to focus on the task at hand.

"Excuse me. I'm Davis Sean", I said, using my other pen
name. (It's on my driver's license if you look hard
enough.) "I'm looking for Ryoga-kun. I haven't seen him
for a while, and knew that this was one of his favorite
places to visit."

"Ara!" she said. (Just like in the series!) "We haven't
seen Ryoga-kun for a long time. Please, do come in
though." She stepped aside so I could come into the
entryway.

"Do you have time for tea?" She asked.

"Yes" I said, momentarily distracted by the change in
decorum. Actually, it wasn't a whole lot different, if
you didn't count the paintings of Kodachi, Ukyou,
Asuza, Ryoga, Mouse, Kuno, Mikado, Tsubasa, Konatsu,
P-chan, and Akiri hanging on the entryway wall. Each
one looked as if the painter had captured the very soul
of the subject, giving them a fire and dignity.

"This way", she said, leading me back to the table
overlooking the koi pond. She excused herself, heading
back to the kitchen for a few moments, before returning
with a teapot and five teacups on a tray.  Moving with
an easy grace, she poured two cups of tea.

"How do you know Ryoga-kun?" She asked.

"Well", I said, "You could say I grew up with him; kind
of like a younger brother. He would always be turn up
lost for a week or two here or there, then disappear
for a while." I sipped my tea, closing my eyes as I did
so. It really was the best green tea I'd ever had.

"The first time he showed up I was twelve. He was
half-starved and lost, so I brought him home and got my
parents to feed him and give him a place to sleep." I
said, smiling. "I never did figure out how he got
around. I don't think he even knows, for that matter."

Kasumi giggled, and I had to fight myself to keep from
sighing at the pleasant sound.

"Funny thing was," I continued between sips of tea,
"that he always found me. I went to four different
colleges, but he would always turn up."

At that moment, I saw motion out of the corner of my
eye, and looked over and up the stairs to see Ranma,
Akane, and Nabiki on their way down.

Ranma was amazing. I have rarely seen someone project
prowess like the twenty or so year old man coming down
the stairs. It wasn't that he was bulky. I probably
weighed more than he did. It was more a feeling of
everything in place. He had that ease of movement that
I have seen on some martial artists. There was
something else there too, a sense of fluid solidity.
Looking at him, I really could believe that he could
take being thrown into a brick wall and get right back
up and keep fighting.

He couldn't hold my attention for more than a moment
though. One look at Akane, and my throat went dry.

She looked to be a few years older than in the anime,
just like everyone else. Like Ranma, she radiated the
same physical power that he did, only on her it
translated into a raw, feminine, appeal. She held
herself straight, but not stiffly, and moved with a
light, fluid grace.  All soft curve over fit muscle.
She had on a baby blue dress that hugged her tightly
until the hips, where it flared out into a loose skirt.
It accentuated her face and deep brown eyes, and showed
off her figure without being immodest. It wouldn't have
mattered what she wore though. That glow of taunt,
feminine, healthiness would have shown through
anything.

I suddenly realized why that horde of boys had risked
hospital stays on the off chance of landing a lucky
punch, and with it, the chance at a date with her.

<Cripes!> I thought. Between Akane and Kasumi, I was
having a serious time not leering or going all
puppy-dog. <And they call her a tomboy?!!>

I thought for a second. Akane was supposed to be
plainer than Ranma or Shampoo. I had been disappointed
when Ranma came down male. I was even more so now.

<Oh well,> I thought, <at least I won't be embarrassing
myself by drooling at Ranma-chan.> As it was, I was
already getting the evil eye from him for gawking at
Akane.

"Oh look..." someone said humorously, "carry in."

I looked up into Nabiki's slyly smiling face, and found
myself unable to do anything but smile back. Unlike
Ranma or Akane, she did not have the almost
overwhelming physical presence, but she did have a
manner that caught and held my interest. She was
dressed in her usual cutoff shorts and T-shirt, and had
a wholesome, "girl next door" look about her. Her eyes
however, promised fun and mischief, and somehow
whispered "trust me" seductively to me. I found that I
did, despite what I knew about her love of money.

Ranma looked at me flatly. "You study martial arts?" he
asked.

"Not really." I replied. "I've had a month or two here
or there, but never got beyond beginner level."

He grunted in reply, sitting down close to Akane at the
table, across from me.

At first I was put out at being dismissed so quickly.
My irritation quickly gave way to amusement however, as
I realized what had happened.  Ranma had concluded that
I was neither enemy nor allay, and lumped me into that
category with all of the other minor characters, who he
ignored unless they spoke directly to him.

<Nice to be accepted. > I thought.

Nabiki yawned. Everyone sipped their tea in silence for
a moment.

"Sean-kun is one of Ryoga-kun's little friends." Kasumi
said brightly.  "He came by to check to see how he was
doing."

"I haven't seen him in a while." I said.

"Neither have we." Akane said in a small, sad voice,
looking down at her hands. I followed her gaze down,
and almost jumped when I saw what she was looking at. 
I looked over at Ranma's hand, almost not believing 
what I saw.

"You're Married?!!" I shouted.

"Yes!" Ranma shouted back. "Something wrong with that?"
(Apparently I had hit a nerve.)

"No, nothing at all." I said, calming him. Another
silence descended upon the table, this one less
comfortable than the first.

<I will not be a gaijin...>

<I will not be a gaijin...>

<I will not...>

"How did you do it?" I asked. <oops.>

"Do what?" Akane asked neutrally, then cocked her head
for a moment, studying me. She smiled slightly,
glancing over at Kasumi, before returning her attention
to me.

"Well," I said, "from what Ryoga told me, both of you
had suitors wanting to marry you. The kind that don't
take no for an answer. But I went by the Kuno's, and
Ucchan's, and the Nekohatten, and they've all left. How
did you get them to go?"

"Oh," Akane said brightening, "Kasumi was the one who
figured that one out." She looked me right in the eye
as she said this, giving me one of the most seductively
hungry smiles I have ever seen. Was it just me, or was
she breathing faster? (I know I was.)

Ranma didn't seem to notice.

"I went on a training trip!" Kasumi said
enthusiastically, the incongruous information snapping
me out of the spell Akane had me in.

I gawked at Kasumi. "You went to China?"

"Oh heavens no." She said. "I went to Europe!"

"What in the world could you learn in Europe that would
fix things so well?" I asked, incredulously.

"Akane, Nabiki, Ranma." Kasumi said, looking at each 
in turn. "Go on to Dr. Tofu's. He's probably already
waiting. Tell him that I'll eat here tonight, and not
to wait for me."

Akane pouted at Kasumi. "Spoilsport." She said.

"I'm sorry," I said, trying my best to ignore Akane,
but not really succeeding. "I didn't know you had
plans. I'll come back some other night."

"Oh no." Kasumi replied. "I won't hear of it! We get
too few visitors these days. Besides, we eat with Dr.
Tofu almost every night, and I haven't gotten to tell
you the story yet."

"Well, if you insist." I said, giving in.

Truth be known, I wanted to spend nearly every minute 
I possibly could near this charming woman. (Almost as
much as I wanted a few alone with Akane.)

Nabiki caught my eye. "Taberu, Taberu*" she said
teasingly. She smiled down at me infectiously as she
got up. I couldn't help but return her smile.
(*infinitive form: to eat)

"Bye oneechan" Akane said. "Have fun!" I watched her
walk out, unable to take my eyes off her until she was
out of sight. I couldn't decide whether I was relieved
or not.

Kasumi cleared the extra cups off of the table, taking
them into the kitchen. She returned with a serving
tray, putting the two remaining cups on it, along with
the teapot.

"So," she said, sitting across from me, "you wanted to
know how I managed to get Ranma and Akane married..."
Her words trailed off into an unspoken question.

"Yes, if you don't mind telling me." I said, smiling.

(I'd done more smiling in the last half-hour that I
usually did in a week. Everything about this place
seemed happy and warm and playful.  At this rate, I
knew that I'd soon reach a point where I never wanted
to leave.)

She smiled back at me and said, "Follow me then."

She gathered up the tray, and started up the stairs. I
followed, not sure where she was heading, until she
turned into a room with a dresser and bed. At the end
of the narrow room was a chair in front of an easel. On
the canvas was a nearly completed painting of a Panda
doing tai chi. The painting somehow managed to convey a
since of quiet dignity about it.

She sat on the bed, putting the tray on the nightstand.
I choose the chair by the easel, stopping to regard the
painting.

"You painted this, and the ones in the hall?" I asked.

"Hai."

"You're very good." I said.

"Thank you." She said, demurely blushing.

"I couldn't help noticing though, there's no painting
of Shampoo in the hallway."

Kasumi looked down. "She and Cologne left for China
before I could get theirs done."

Another silence descended.

"So, Tendo-san." I asked, trying to keep the warm mood
from souring.  "What was this training that you wanted
to tell me about?"

"It's quite simple really, and call me Kasumi please."
She reached for the tray. "More tea?"

"No thank you, Kasumi-san."

"Come sit over here then. It's easier if I show you.
And just call me Kasumi." She said, smiling brightly at
me while patting the space beside her on the bed.

<Doki!> I got up and sat beside her, suddenly very
nervous. I kept reminding myself that this is Kasumi,
and that Ranma and Akane would probably kill me if I
did anything other than sit quietly beside her and
listen to her story.

I sat down beside her, our eyes on the same level.

"That's better." She said, smiling. Something twinkled
mischievously in her eyes.

"So, what was that training you wanted to tell me
about?" I asked. I should have been irritated at all 
of the evasiveness, but I was having too much fun.

"Just this" she said. Then, with a strength and speed
that I didn't know she had, she grabbed me by the shirt
and did some judo type throw.  I'm not sure how she did
it, but we ended up facing each other, with her laying
back on the bed and me lying squarely on top of her.

"Kasumi!" I squeaked, propping myself up on my elbows
to take some of my weight off her.

She giggled below me, wrapping her arms around my neck
to prevent me from pulling up any further.

"Shhhhh" she said, rubbing my hair like she was
reassuring a child.  "You're shaking. We don't have 
to do this if you don't want."

"N-No!" I squeaked. "I'm all right! Just a bit
surprised, is all.  Please go on."

She smiled up at me, then pulled me down into one of
the most passionate kisses I have ever experienced. My
senses were swimming in her sent and feel. Just when I
felt about ready to pass out from sheer overload, she
released me. I pulled up a little ways and looked down
at her.

"You ready for me to show you that technique now?" 
She asked with a sensual tone and a wide smile.

I nodded at her, smiling dumbly. I felt like she had
somehow sucked about 50 IQ points out of me with that
last kiss.

"Good" She said with that same hungry smile that Akane
had used earlier.

And then Kasumi, being the perfect lady that she was,
said in a playful singsong voice, what all ladies say
before doing what she was about to do...

"Itadakimasu." (Said before eating.)

<Wha...Ungh!> I grunted as she pulled down with twice
the strength she had displayed before, crushing me to 
her. I felt her head move beneath me, then felt a sharp 
pain in my neck. I struggled back up onto my elbows, 
but before I could resist further, I felt the most
delicious warmth wash over me. Any thoughts of
resisting were melted away like ice cream in the warm
sun.

I tried to speak, but found that my throat didn't seem
to be working for anything but breathing. Kasumi seemed
to sense this though.

*Don't try to speak. Just think it and I'll hear you.*
I heard this as an echo in my own thoughts, but in her
"voice".

<Kasumi?>

*Hai.*

<You're a...a...>

*Hai?*

<You're a vampire?!!>

*Hai! ^_^*

I should have felt violated. I should have been doing
everything I could possible do to stop her draining me
and get to a hospital; to save my life. At the very
least I should have been kicking myself for being lead
like an attention-starved puppy. (Even the proverbial
lamb to the slaughter had more sense than I had
displayed.)

But I wasn't feeling any of these things. I was feeling
the greatest sense of fulfillment I had ever felt in my
life. I finally realized why I was here. I was here so
that this beautiful, glorious creature could go on
living and brightening the world. It was my destiny to
nourish her. I was born to it. I kept as still as I
possibly could, terrified that even a single drop of
her meal would go wasted if I squirmed even a little.

<Kasumi?>

*Hai?*

<I...Is it good?> I asked, terrified of a bad answer.

*You taste wonderful* she "said" warmly.

<Ureshi...> I couldn't stop myself from crying a little
from the relief and happiness.     (I'm happy)

My shoulders had started to hurt. My own weight was
getting to be too much for them, and they were starting
to knot up. I tried to stay propped up on them, shaking
with the effort, to keep from putting too much weight
on her.

*It's Ok. You won't hurt me. Go ahead and lie down.*

I lowered myself into her warm, soft, sensual embrace,
her head following my neck down perfectly.

<...Kasumi>

*Hai?*

<.........all of the pictures...>

*Hai?*

<.........did Ranma......and...Akane...
 ...well...................you know...>

*No.* She said. *I did them. I didn't want Ranma and
Akane to have any "bad blood" between them.* She
giggled out loud. It was a strange, but pleasant
sensation.

*I thought it would give them a fresh start, without
all of the others confusing things.*

<What...about...Na...Nabiki...>

*Oh she loves it!* Her tone was happy and joyful for
her sister. *She's taking night classes, and she has
all of the boyfriends she can handle now. I think that
she'll choose one to settle down with, when the time's
right.*

*It was an elegant solution. Don't you think?* she
"said" turning her thoughts back to Ranma and Akane. 
*Now there's no one who can compete with them. They'll
be together forever too.*

<..................mmmmm?..............>

*Never mind. Just go to sleep, dear one.* As I heard
this, she started to hum, the sensation spreading from
my neck to the rest of my suddenly too tired body. It
was the most relaxing and warm lullaby that I had ever
heard or felt.

I slowly drifted off to sleep, rocked gently by
Kasumi's lullaby.

Oyasumi nasai.


-Catnip


This one came to me when I was in that sleepy time just
before going to sleep one night. I wanted to present
Kasumi, Akane, Ranma, and Nabiki as classic vampires.
(Only come out at night, heightened attractiveness,
victims seduced by charm, ect...) I also realized that
this would make the perfect self-insertion/kill the
author fic. Hope you enjoyed it.

All characters (besides myself) are the property of
Takahashi Rumiko, and the respective publishing,
animation, and export/import houses associated with 
the Ranma � series.

Catnip_kun@hotmail.com (C & C welcome)