[FFML] [fanfic/shortfic][OMG!]Life's Astronomy

Oh My Goddess!: Life's Astronomy
By Rob Barba

OMG! Is the intellectual property of Kosuke Fujishima, et al.

    I stand here, looking into the stars from a cold evening in Tokyo.  It's a quiet night, and a silent one.  The temple grounds are empty, devoid of sound.  Across the street, Fujisawa-san and his wife are sitting in silence, reading the paper and chatting about the day's events.  Around the block from us, Kinogawa-san is preparing her courses for her next day of teaching class.  Up the street, Williamson-san, a foreigner, is getting home from a long day of working at his international business.  And way out there in Roppongi, Urd is messing with the minds of many a person, getting drunk, and making the ass of herself, as usual.  Hundreds of miles away, Belldandy and Keiichi are enjoying their honeymoon, happy as lovers are.  Megumi is on a class trip to Nagasaki.
    I'm here, all alone, standing on the roof, looking at the stars, but doing it in the way of mortals.  Of humans.  Of the life that my sisters and I have more or less chosen.  Granted, it was actually Keiichi's wish that set things in motion, but in truth, we have all subconsciously chosen it.  Belldandy has chosen it because of her love for Keiichi.  Urd could easily behave herself and return to heaven, but I think her constant screwups are in truth a need to stay with her younger sisters.  
    And myself?  There's really nothing holding me here.  I could return at any time.  Most of the time, I don't even like this place.  It's technologically backwards, primitive by what I'm used to.  I long for the programming elegance of Yggsdril, from its codes of life, to its laws of nature, and everything in-between.  Not these simplistic hard drives and Zip discs, not the hardware, software, and wetware of the beast.  It's as primitive to me as the abacus, as counting stones are to Keiichi's laptop I have sitting on the roof beside me.
    But my sisters are here.  Belldandy means the world to me, and though I won't admit it all the time, so does Urd and Keiichi.  They are my family.  To leave them now would be to abandon my life, to desert my post.  The life terminal is something that we can walk away from for a time.  Loved ones, I've discovered since, are not that easy; you must stay with them to continue that sense of coherent love--the love that we all have for one another.


    I look through the viewer of the telescope Keiichi bought me for last Golden Week.  I see constellations, stars, galaxies.  Some I've been to.  Others, I may go to a little later on.  I might look like a 16-year old, but this world is nothing compared to my age.  If I so desired, I could look like Urd, or Belldandy; as could any of us change our age.  But we're human, now, in a sense; we're letting our appearances change as the lifespan of Keiichi and Megumi move on, to keep our secret from the outside world.  We're as eternal as the stars, and yet as malleable as starlight.
    I'm 16, by most appearances, Keiichi's younger sister-in-law who's a wunderkind and attends Nekomi, rarely having dealings with anyone my "age".  I wonder: will I fall in love with a man, marry him as my sister has?  Or will I be as untamable as Urd, breaking hearts left and right when she's not mending them?  Or will I grow sick of it all and return to the heavens, seeking solace with familiarity?
    I don't know.  I wish I did.
    That's where humans have us beat.  They can dream, they can see *futures*, whereas all I can see is *the* future.  They can imagine what's to come, try to shape their destinies, even though the Universal Plan may be different.  Keiichi dared to love a Goddess in a more natural way than most, and that's where he is more powerful than we three.  We are omnipotent, omniscient; he is simply what he is.
    Like those stars above in the sky.


    "Hey, twerp." A voice calls from behind me, and I'm surprised to hear Urd sober at this time of night.  I ignore her, but then she says, "You know, it doesn't take much to know that you're in a dilemma, that you could use some advice."
    "What do you care?" I say in a harsh tone, not wanting to deal with her patronizing attitude.
    She decides to take a seat near where I am.  She fixes her eyes on me and says in a voice devoid of her usual sarcasm, "Because I'm your sister.  Because I care about you, even though I may not say that enough.  Because we're a family."
    I turn and look at her, unsure if she means it or not.  Her emerald eyes are shining, sincere: she does mean it.  I always knew she did, but to hear it from her--well, I'm not going to say it's unprecedented, but it's certainly close.
    Knowing my thoughts, she continues. "How do you want to live your life, Skuld?  As one of the cold stars above, alone, dying in the darkness?  Or as a sun, part of a whole, giving warmth and receiving it in the same?"
    "What about you?" I counter.
   She looks at the nightscape above and answers, "I think Belldandy's got the best of the idea.  She's like a binary star that's found its mate.  She and Keiichi are perfect for each other.  I've had more flings and follies than I care to imagine.  But I'm hoping that someday I can find someone that loves me--not wooing a goddess, but falling in love with a woman that just happens to be a goddess."
    I say nothing, as I've never heard that from her before.  It's a virtual admission that she's not planning to return, that she wants to be here, living in the same pseudo-human state as Belldandy.  It's an admission that I can see she's been mulling around for a while.  And it's clearly one that's going to bring her peace in the long run.  Standing up again, she announces, "Well, it's been a long night. I'm turning in."
    Wait a second.  Now I *know* something's wrong.  It's only midnight.  I look at her, and in response, she just shrugs her shoulder elegantly and replies, "Everyone's gotta be human sooner or later, Skuld.  Maybe it's time that we do so, too."  Nothing more to be said, she floats down to the door.


    I stand at the telescope for a few more minutes, thinking about what she's said.  And I have to admit, she's right.  Stars live and die, unchanging.  And for what?  To become a splat, a nova, then nothing.  Gods can live forever, unchanging.  And for what?  To be forgotten and abandoned.  Humans live a short span, but are constantly in change, and for what?  At least they have a reason: because it's what keeps humanity going.  It's what keeps them fresh and new, what will eventually bring them to the point that they will surpass the gods.
    That's in the future.  I *am*, after all, the future personified.
    After a second or two, I collapse my equipment and decide to turn in for the night.  I have a long day tomorrow, one that will involve learning to live as girls my "age" do.
    The truth is written in the stars, humans say.  I say, it's written in humanity's soul and simply reflected in the stars.  Either way, it comes to the same conclusion.

Author's Mindless Wandering:
Why did I write this?  I have no idea.