On Sat, 10 Oct 1998 16:39:32   Ryan Mathews wrote:

Recently, Aldrich Bautista, who runs a Tenchi Muyo fanfic archive, asked me
how I felt that my story, "Mother's Day", had taken third prize in a "Best
Tenchi Story of the Summer" poll.  

<snip>

But about that poll.  Aldrich seemed a little surprised that I wouldn't
keep track of something like that.  The truth is, I avoid polls and awards
contests like the plague.  I also never read a review of my work, if I can
help it.  This isn't to say that I ignore feedback.  

<snip>

The reason is simple.  I'm afraid of how I would respond.  If I read a poll
and saw I finished poorly, I might have trouble continuing the story.  

<snip>

But what if I won?  Well, that can be just as bad.  

It's not a mature response, I know, but I can't help it.  

Au contraire, it's very zen.  "Have you achieved 
Satori?" someone may ask you; if you say yes or no, 
you're damned either way.  The best thing to do is 
keep quiet, or in this case, ignore outside opinions 
of your work.

I'm very
sensitive to people's opinions of my work.  When an individual gives me
feedback, that's great, because I can respond to that person and we can
have a dialogue.  But if I finish poorly in a poll, what do I do then? 

It can go either way.  Having poor results in a 
contest can drive you to write better.  

That's all I have to say.  Just curious if I'm an oddball in feeling like
this, or if others have felt the same way.

We're individuals as writers, just like the readers 
when it comes to habits and preferences.  It's all a 
matter of what works for one's own self.  My answers 
aren't your answers, and no one should expect them 
to be.

Then again, there's that small matter of talent. 
(Which I don't have, that's why I review 'em and 
don't write 'em. ^_^)

Shunsuke



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