Whee! I got 2 responses within 20 minutes! So I decided to extend this a
little. Alas, all farther work on fics is on hold until I complete my
JET application.
----------
Tokyo, 2752 AD. A pleasant enough city, but changes are afoot.
"Rhialto, you know what you must do."
"Yes, sensei."
"Everything is prepared?"
"Absolutely. I shall begin the jump right away."
"Insertion, please. Use the correct terminology, Rhialto."
"But sir, research has shown that the term has lost favour amongst
many of the populace. Hence, I chose to use an alternative term."
"Whatever. But make the insertion soon, we don't have much time before
the cusp. Call the machine."
A chorus of 'call the machine's went circling around the crystal
chamber. 'Must do something about the acoustics in here,' the sensei
thought. A minute later the machine whumped in from the open ceiling and
Rhialto stepped inside. Another minute later a cry came out from the
machine.
"How do you work this thing?"
The sensei sighed. "Dial '1992-Tokyo' he called back." A minute later
the machine sunk into the floor.
* * *
Ranma to ryouga no ichiban sugoi ryokou
* * *
"Chiwa! Saotome Ranma san desu!"
"Yaa! Hibiki Ryouga san desu!"
"And together, we are..."
"Big Teeth!"
"Hey, wait a minute..."
"Sup?"
"How come you get to name the band after your self?
"Can't help it, that's just the way parodies work."
"How about we combine our names?"
"How do you mean?" Ranma took this as a cue to whisper in Ryouga's
ear. A furious whispered argument began. "Yeah, that world work I
guess," Ryouga finally said.
"And together we are..."
"The Wyld Boars!"
"Kuso. The videotape has run out. We'll have to start again. Ranma,
it's your fault for wanting that name change just now. There's nothing
wrong with the band the way it was."
"Sez you."
"Shut up Ranma. I just know if you carry on like this you're gonna
make my life a living hell."
*WHUMP*
"What was that?" Ranma said.
"Dunno. Better go outside and check. Ryouga turned and looked for the
garage door switch. Five minutes later, Ranma got up and pressed the
button himself. Outside in the driveway was a phonebox where no phone
box ought to be. Sparks danced up and down the sides, occasionally
leaping from the weird antenna on the roof out up to the sky.
"Sugoi," the pair murmured together. They watched as a lone figure
stepped out. "Great, another self-insertionist," they said in perfect
unison.
"Please, I prefer the term 'temporal jumper'. 'Insertion' is a bit
passe these days."
"Whatever," said Ranma. "So why are you here?"
"Ok, down to business. Sometime in the near future, the two of you
together are going to save the world from a major disaster. I'm here to
make sure that the two of you actually do stick together, Ryouga being
famous for getting lost."
"Hey!" shouted Ryouga. Ranma simply grinned.
I continued, heading off any more questions. "I'm also here to make
sure that Ranma passes his history exams next week. Timeline studies
have shown that if he fails tomorrow's exam, he will be held back a
year, and you won't be close enough to save the world when the time
comes."
It was Ranma's turn to look upset. His history results were always
getting him down. Ryouga simply smiled.
"Anyway, as I was saying," I continued. "With this machine you will be
able to travel back in time to do some first hand research. I'm going to
have to insist that you both travel together, as the world can't risk
Ryouga getting lost. Also, bear in mind that the past is another
country - some areas will be dangerous. But nothing a pair of top
martial artists can handle, right?"
"Top martial artists?" the pair asked.
"Sure! Everyone knows how your incredible combat skills saved, err...
will save, the world. You're legends!"
"Excuse me, but the only thing legendary about us is our music
skills." The pair put on a little demonstration, proving once and for
all that their talents were in a class of their own. I winced.
"But you spent the last ten years of your life training with your
father, Ranma!"
"I think you have the wrong guy."
"And you Ryouga, your strength and endurance is unequalled by any!"
"Listen, Riaruto or whatever your name is, I don't know where or even
when you've come from, but all me and my pal Ryouga here want is to be
world class musicians. *That* is what I have been training for these
last ten years."
~Houston, I think we have a problem.~ "Nevermind. You'll just have to
learn to fight while you are travelling."
"I'm still not convinced you're telling the truth," Ranma said.
"I'm not convinced that he is even sane," commented Ryouga. The pair
turned to leave.
"Wait! What time is it?"
Ranma looked at his watch. "Coming up to eight. Why?"
"In a minute two people will be coming who will be far better able to
convince you than I am. I stared at my watch impatiently. Sure enough,
one minute later, a second temporal jump machine ~not a self insertion
device,~ whumped in from the sky.
A young red-haired girl holding a small pig stepped out.
~Great. Just great.~ I mentally kicked myself, the two boys in front
of me, the pig, and the girl.
"Hi Ranma, Ryouga. I'm you, Ranma, although I guess I don't look much
like me at the moment. The pig is you by the way, Ryouga. We fell into
some cursed pools a few jumps back, which is why we look a little
different. Trust this Rhialto guy, he knows what he is doing. Ja ne!"
"Well?" I asked. "Do you believe me now?" I watched the two boys step
away and huddle into a small conference.
"Ok, on the one hand, he is nuts. Completely. Doesn't even know what
planet he is on," Ryouga began.
"On the other, he seems to want to help me with my history
assignment."
"On the third hand, I don't much fancy turning into a pig."
"Me neither. Turning into a girl is no better." They looked up and saw
Ranma-chan playing with the pig, tickling its belly.
"On the other hand, we get a *time machine*."
"Just a sec, Ryouga." "Hey, Ryarotou, do we get the self insertion
device?"
I fumed inside. Why me? It's not a self insertion device. "Yes, the
*temporal jump machine* is your to do with as you wish," I said through
gritted teeth.
"You got yourself a deal then, Ryutee."
"The name is Rhialto."
"Whatever."