Hi!

	The problem, of course, with C&Cing a story of thirteen chapters,
whose release spanned, what, nearly a year, is that the feedback is going
to concentrate mainly on the final chapter -- which is unfortunate,
really, since the series, in its entirety, is deserving of praise.  But,
hey, I can't remember the previous chapters in sufficient detail to
comment on them accurately -- hopefully I did at the time -- and I sadly
don't have the time to go back and read them over again.
	So -- chapter thirteen (and epilogues, I guess).

	I remember I was surprised when, at the end of chapter twelve, it
announed the final episode coming up next.  It seemed like it came so
quick -- which is sort of how I felt at the very end of the series.  It
felt like it ended abruptly -- but I'll get to that later.
	First off, teh setting was amazing.  I'd never heard of the island
before, it's a great setting for an action-climax, and the two of you do
an excellent job of bring the ambiance of it to life.  You seem to cast
your action scenes like a movie (like a _good_ movie!) and imbue them with
a vividity seen in few other works of fanfiction.  Like with the
abandonned building from way back, it reads like a Die Hard movie watches
(well, like the really-good first one.  The sequels sucked.)
	With that, however, comes a certain element of the improbable: I
had my doubts that the ancient machinery of this closed and forgotten
mining pit / city would reawaken so easily -- but it's easy to suspend my
disbelief in favor of a real cool fight scenario.
	Of course, the great strength of IMbS wasn't really the action --
it was the strength of the characters, the characterization, and primarily
of Ranma.  This chapter promised resolution, answers, and came through in
the end.  There's already been some debate on how everything turned out
. . . and, heck, here's my two Canadian cents.
	Mike mentioned the need for closure at the end, and thus the
elimination of any doubt of whether Ranma was
poor-frightened-child-lashing-out, or just-plain-evil-and-psychotic.  I'm
not as big of a stickler for closure -- I've got no problem with a
well-crafted ambiguous ending -- but I can also appreciate the desire to
provide a definitive ending.  So Ranma's a deeply hurt psycho desperatly
trying to hold on to his control -- I can accept that without feeling
disappointed or cheated; then again, as others pointed out, I think I
_would_ have prefered something less straightforward.  Some of the magic
of the series seems to die with that revelation.
	That revelation is where I did feel a bit disappointed.  The final
confrontation between Ranma and Akane just felt . . . rushed, somehow.
After thirteen well-crafted chapters, a quick clubbing to the back of the
skull felt anti-climatic.  Even Akane's quick conversion defied my belief
a bit.  Nabiki's tape didn't feel that convincing to me -- after all,
Nabiki had tried to warn her before, and the tape didn't carry any new,
real proof with it.  A recording of Ranma threatning her, or something, I
might've found more believable. <shrug>  Doesn't really matter, though,
since Akane's conversion was necessary for the ending.
	The idea behind that confrontation is excellent, especially when
revealed in the epilogues that Ranma may have (probably unconsciously)
indirectly engineered it somewhat.  Sure, he wanted to craft Akane into a
useful weapon, a reliable ally -- but also needed her as a backup on his
control, in case he finally _did_ slip.  Again, though, it just felt a bit
rushed to me.

	The other debate I've noticed concerns the deathcount: Ukyou,
Shamps, not the Hibikis, etc.  Shamps didn't bother me, gruesome as it
was, since it did display to Akane something important.  The method of
removing Mariko, as someone else suggested, did come across as fake --
c'mon, she _did_ fall down a mineshaft; if you needed her out of the way,
a less contrived method could've worked.  And I don't understand any
argument against Akane suggesting she was a murderer in that fight -- all
the Tendo did was defend herself; she had no idea a hole was there.
	Ukyou's death struck me as entirely pointless . . . well, at least
until you read the epilogues.  There, there's a beautiful made union
between Shampoo and Ukyou -- but I'm not sure it makes Ukyou's death any
better.  I'm no huge Ukyou fan -- the girl's a little crazy, in my
opinion, and, yes, Akane is the destined finacee for Ranma -- but her
death seemed only to serve to raise the deathcount.
	I've seen Mike counter-argument: bad shit happens to good people,
doesn't matter if she deserved it or not, and who are we to decide we're
God and who deserves what.  Well, the authors chose to play God the moment
they write a story, and here came off as an Old Testament God laying down
indiscriminate vengeance.  Kinda made me think of an old-style horror
movie: the moment voice-of-reason ukyou gave up her virginity, she was
slated to die. 
	Sure, shit happens, and one of the main themes (I assume) of IMbS
is the interjection of real-life consequences into the Ranma world: thus,
punches hurt, wounds hinder, and vengence is a truly deadly thing.  But
even real-life fights rarely end with people ground to hamburg in the
machinery of a reawakened ore-processor.  To build up a character -- to
make her (probably) the most sympathetic of the group -- to make her the
voice of reason in a world described a bordeline insane -- and then to
kill her, gruesomely, off stage, no farewell, no words . . . it just feels
wrong.  I don't mean goodbye-speache or glory-deaths --that'd be worse by
far -- but a main character deserves more than to be shunted off to the
periphery.  Maybe a silent death is more realistic -- but I'm not
convinced that pure realism always makes for better storytelling.

	Well, I've probably already gone on long enough.  Whether the
Hibikis deserve more or not doesn't bother me -- I don't believe in poetic
justice (though the stuff above re. Ukyou might suggest I do) -- though
I'd say they're about as psychotic as Ranma was.  I agree with some
comments of other people -- the shotgun seems like a plot-hole,
considering the willingness to use backstabbing boobytraps that fly in the
face of honor, for instance -- but the Hibikis are great characters
(though I still think Ryoga's the best of the bunch).  Some kind of
resolution on the idea of revenge coming from one of them would've been
nice, though -- and what ever happened to Genma?

	Anyway, the above stuff seems mostly negative -- but that's 'cus
the good stuff doesn't really need mentioning . . . and pointingout all
teh good stuff would take to long, anyway, and this 'little' C&C is
probably too long as is (can you tell I'm procrastinating on a project due
tomorrow?).  IMbS is an excellent series; I don't have the time to read as
much fanfiction as I once did, but I made it a point to frequently check
for new releases of this series.  Great job, guys -- any plans on
collaberating again in the future?

	(And BTW, you're ending is a _lot_ better than what I had in the
back of my head: some kinda Natural born Killers thing, with a thoroughly
converted Akane joining up with her true love-psychotic Ranma in a
carefree killing spree across Japan. . .)

	Later!
	-Mike Noakes
*	*	*	*	*	*	*	*	*	  
	I no longer feel as you do: this   * E-mail at:
cloud which I see under me, this blackness * s669330@aix2.uottawa.ca
and heaviness I laugh at -- precisely this * Homepage/Fanfiction:  
is your thundercloud.                      *http://aix2.uottawa.ca/~s669330
               			   	   *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *
	- Nietzsche, Thus Spoke Zarathustra I, _Of Reading and Writing_
*	*	*	*	*	*	*	*	*	*