Wai, wai! This is my latest YYH fanfic! Many hugs to Rhionae who is kind
enough to finish pre-reading this fic although she is quite busy. =)
Alright, this is a rather dark fic... ::okay, *dark* fic:: and this is the
only fic that I've wept when writing it... ^_^; 

Anyway comments, please? It has been a long, long time since I released any
new YYH fic... 

Siew Lee 

---------------------------------------------------------------------

The First And The Last 

A Yu Yu Hakusho fanfic by W. Siew Lee 

---------------------------------------------------------------------

	*Goodbye, Kurama...* 

	A young man sat on the soft green grass under a big tree in a 
forest, totally lost in his own thoughts. No, the place wasn't in 
Ningenkai, but it was in Makai. His red locks hung loosely over his 
entire figure, his emerald green eyes were dimmed. 

	*Goodbye, Kurama...* 

	The man clutched his head painfully, unable to stop the phrase 
from repeating over and over again like a mantra in his head. It was 
the most painful phrase he had ever heard in his life. The last 
goodbye he would ever hear from *him*... 

	*Goodbye, Kurama...* 

	Tears came, he was angry at himself. Mixed emotions claimed his 
heart at once, not giving him time to breath, to think or at least to 
rest. It was not fiery anger that he felt nor it was regret. It was a 
totally alien feeling this time. He had never loved, never cared, 
never looked into the hearts of people around him... After all, he 
was just a criminal from Makai, a silver youko - until Shiori and 
Hiei came along. 

	But... he had lost them both, one by one. 

	"Hiei... Kaasan..." whispered Kurama miserably. It had just 
been one week, one single week and he would never be able to see them 
again. 

	Yes, his human mother was growing old, he admitted... but still 
her death hurt him deep inside. She had just turned 55 before her 
death, so young even for a human... 

	It happened too fast... Kurama could still see his mother's 
beaming face, so full of happiness and love; but he could never 
forget the day she was diagnosed with leukemia... 

	One fine day... Everything was just normal. Kurama remembered 
himself greeting his mother that morning as he was just getting ready 
to go to work. She looked so caring and worried about his safety, 
always reminding him to be careful and cautious about the traffic... 
When he walked out of the front gate, Shiori was smiling at him... 
but the next moment, she was lying unconscious on the garden 
pavement. 

	Kurama still remembered the horrible feeling in his chest... 
the panic, the fear he felt... She looked so pale... His stepfather 
and little Shuichi was also worried, but he doubt that what they felt 
for this woman could ever be compared to his. 

	Then came the cruel truth. 

	The doctor's words hit him like a slap. 

	*No... Shiori mustn't die!* 

	The throbbing sensation in Kurama's head worsened... Images of 
him sitting next to the hospital bed, holding Shiori's hand... 
Flashbacks showing him sleeping on the wooden chair, looking after 
his mother... 

	Every time he saw Shiori's hand, it reminded him of her saving 
him when he was young. The love that she showered on him was 
priceless and unconditional; Kurama felt so indebted to her. She was 
everything a good mother should be... 

	But she was gone now, and he had never been granted a chance to 
repay her... 

	Another tear rolled down his smooth cheek and landed on his 
lap. Shiori didn't survive that deadly battle. The sad smile that she 
wore on that fateful morning had shocked him, for it was the most 
beautiful smile Shiori had ever shown him... Even with the last few 
minutes of her life, she reminded him to bring his lunch to the 
office which he always forgot... 

	Shiori... 

	But that wasn't the worst; it was the beginning of the end. 

	Hiei... A fire youkai... Forever his true love... 

	At this point, Kurama simply couldn't hold back the anguish 
that was growing minute by minute in his chest anymore. *No...* With 
a choked gasp, tears streamed down in abundance. 

	Hiei... Arrogant, cold blooded... All of that was just top 
class acting by this youkai! Yusuke, Kuwabara and Koenma didn't know 
this much, but he knew. He just knew it! They had never seen the 
other side of Hiei, the much softer and docile side of him. 

	Hiei was very vulnerable inside, so easy to hurt him... He was 
filled with self-pity; partly because he was abandoned when he was a 
baby. *The koorimes...* Kurama gritted his teeth angrily. 

	It wasn't easy to get near to him, let alone having a proper 
conversation with him. In a way, Kurama was special to Hiei, almost 
like someone who he could share his feelings and thoughts with. 
Kurama knew how Hiei felt towards him, maybe as a friend... His only 
friend in his short lifetime; but Kurama knew Hiei loved him too. To 
a youkai like Hiei, love was a totally new frontier, but he broke 
through that barrier. 

	Kurama smiled bitterly. What was the use now? He was already 
dead! It was still so vivid in his mind, like a movie replaying 
itself. Kurama couldn't stop the regret and tension building up in 
his soul and heart... 

	Shortly after Shiori died, Koenma sent the entire Reikai tantei 
team to capture a wind youkai on loose in the Ningenkai... 

	Kurama closed his eyes painfully. He had even asked Yusuke 
whether it was safe to go into that shack; but there was also a risk. 
Hiei didn't survive that risk... 

	*It is because of me he got himself killed...* 

	They hadn't anticipated that sudden attack... That ki blast 
just appeared out of nowhere and Kurama lay directly in its path! 
Kurama softly fingered the spot on his arm that Hiei had pushed him 
and placed his own body in front of the ki blast! 

	The scream! The burning smell! The bloodshed! Kurama moaned 
in total anguish... He openly wept over Hiei's limp body. No, he 
didn't die on the spot though he was badly hurt. There was a deep 
gash across his chest and red liquid flowed freely. Very soon, the 
ground was covered with his beloved's blood. 

	The tormenting sensation in his arms when he held Hiei close to 
him was so real, even now. His heart was bursting from the agony that 
he suffered when Hiei held up his arm to brush his face one last 
time. 

	Hiei's eyes slowly dimmed... With barely even a whisper, Hiei 
spoke his last words, "Goodbye, Kurama..." 

	The next few minutes were hell to Kurama. He didn't care that 
Yusuke and others were looking anymore. Tears already flowed 
freely... With trembling heads, he softly gave Hiei a kiss on his 
cheek as Hiei coughed out some more blood, forming a red strain on 
one corner of his mouth. 

	At last, Hiei's hand dropped limply on the ground as his body 
grew stiffer and stiffer. Kurama still clutched at his body, 
unwilling to let go... It was almost like an eternity before Yusuke 
came calmly and gently pried open Kurama's arms and hands. 

	*Kurama, Hiei is... dead.* 

	That was the most terrible phrase he had ever heard in his 
life. 

	No, Kurama couldn't stop the emotion that was twisting and 
turning in his heart anymore. He had endured enough, his yearning and 
love for Hiei couldn't be denied. Life was too tough without him, 
simply too hard. 

	Kurama had already decided. Once decided, there was no turning 
back afterwards. 

	Slowly, he produced a razor sharp leaf... Lifting up his left 
wrist before his eyes, Kurama opened his eyes sadly. 

	"Farewell, this beautiful world..." he said softly to the soft 
breeze that blew past. Kurama could feel Hiei's presence nearby... 
Somewhere... 

	With a flick of his left wrist, Kurama cut a long incision 
across his skin, cutting straight into his veins. 

	Closing his eyes once again, Kurama leaned back against the 
trunk of the tree, feeling his life flow slowly out of his body, 
awaiting Hiei's welcome... He was coming nearer and nearer, opening 
his arms for the last and first embrace with Kurama. 

	"Hiei, ai shiteru..." 

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Copyright reserved 1998 W. Siew Lee 

All standard Yu Yu Hakusho disclaimers apply to this fanfic. 

~~~A note of dedication~~~ 
Thank you, Bulma! Thank you for being such a wonderful friend to 
me... As a sign of appreciation, I would like to dedicate this fic to 
you and also as a present for helping me to torture Daniel -> a 
desperado. ::wink wink:: 

E-mail: Siew Lee [wsiewlee@tm.net.my] 
URL: http://members.xoom.com/hiei 
UIN: #14025577 

---------------------------------------------------------------------