Whee, after some scathing Pre-reading of Facades 2 I decided to work
on this fic more to get back in the swing of things. I wrote it in
Script format mainly because I wanted to keep the TV episode feel. This
is the first episode, and will probably tie in closely wiht the second.
After that though, I'll keep any more episodic, so that if you missed
the previous part you could read it and it would make sense, like the TV
series. This is a draft, so I'll probably do some slight changes before
the final, but the story for episode one is complete. Hope you like it.
    Oh yeah. This takes place right after season two, but changes it so
that Buffy didn't run away, just to make things a little easier. And
yeah, everyone speaks english, the dialogue is half the fun of Buffy AND
Ranma, so it just wouldn't seem right to have one or the other speaking
in broken English.
        -George

[Scene 1. A public bath in the Nerima ward of Tokyo, several men are
washing themselves. Two of these guys look rather uncomfortable. They
are OZ  and XANDER. They are seated inside of the main furo (bathtub)]

OZ: Damn, I can NOT get used to this.
XANDER: I mean who ever heard of a boarding house without a private
bathroom.
[A small shape splashes by them and dives underwater. It is followed by
a man with black hair and a pigtail. This is RANMA Saotome]
RANMA: GET BACK HERE YOU OLD FREAK! NO WAY IN HELL I'M LETTING YOU PEEK!

OZ: What the hell was that?
XANDER[grinning]: Who cares, you missed a vital word. Peek. Where'd that

little round thing go?
OZ: You aren't seriously considering�
XANDER: Who'd know. It won't hurt anyone. I mean, come on I know you
want to get a peek at Willow.
OZ: You are a sick man!
XANDER: You are too. I can see it in your eyes, yeah you try to hide it,
but
you can't, you're as much of a sex fiend as I am. [XANDER dives
underwater, until he reaches the separating wall. He makes an overblown
act of looking through a hole.] OZ! You have to see this!
[OZ gets up and begins to wade to where XANDER is.]
XANDER: Gotcha! Now that we're gotten past the fact that you too are a
severely perverted individual, let's look for a real hole.
OZ[threatening]: Just wait for the next full moon.
[As XANDER and OZ search for a hole, an older man walks up behind them
and taps on their shoulder. He is Rupert GILES.]
GILES: And what do you two think you are doing?
XANDER: Looking for rare mosses?
GILES:[whisper] We... We're trying not to draw attention to ourselves.
If you two
are going to peep at LEAST do it in a less conspicuous manner. Not
that I advocate peeping. Now let's get finished and get out of this
bloody place. I do hate this public bathing.
OZ: Wonder if it's this embarrassing for the girls.
XANDER: Nah, girls have gotten past the communal nudity thing, they're
much more comfortable being naked around each other than guys are.
OZ: You have no idea what you're talking about do you?
XANDER: Just quit shattering my little fantasy world alright. It's nice
and warm in there.

[Cut to the women's side of the bath. Everyone here looks at ease except

for three teenage girls seated along the far wall. One is a cute redhead

with shoulder length hair, WILLOW Rosenburg. The next is a brunette with

her long hair up in a bun, CORDELIA Chase. The third is a beautiful
blonde, BUFFY Summers. All three are trying to look at everything but
the other people in the bath.]

CORDELIA: I can't believe we're forced to do this! It's humiliating. Why

aren't we staying with host families or something? Isn't that how these
things usually work?
BUFFY: I already told you, Giles wanted to get here early to scout
around before we settled in. We don't want people noticing us. Anyhow
you didn't have to come.
CORDELIA: And stay in Sunnydale without a Slayer around? I don't think
so!
WILLOW: This is so weird, how do these people get used to it?
BUFFY: I dunno. Raised that way I guess.
CORDELIA: It's scary, you know? Like any of these women could be a
lesbian
or something checking me out, I feel so violated.
WILLOW: Nah, this is Japan. They don't have lesbians here.
BUFFY: Sure Will, whatever.
WILLOW: Wonder if the guys are as uncomfortable as we are?
BUFFY: Nah, guys got over the public nudity thing. Ya know the group
showers after sports and stuff like that.
WILLOW: Good point.

[At the other end of the room WOMAN 1 is cleaning herself. She turns to
HIROKO and asks her to wash her back. HIROKO smiles and grabs a towel.]

HIROKO: You have smooth skin, very nice. I wish I had  skin like yours.
[WOMAN 1 blushes and stammers out a quick denial.]
HIROKO: And look at this lovely neck. [She runs her finger up and down
it.] Looks so tasty.

[WOMAN 1 blanches and tries to move away but HIROKO is holding her and
won't let go. HIROKO's face is now deformed and has the visage of a
Vampire.]
HIROKO: And now feeding begins. [With that HIROKO bites at WOMAN 1's
neck. WOMAN 1 screams and everyone there looks to see what is wrong. Two

more screams are heard as two more VAMPIRES appear next to HIROKO. Most
of the women in the bath run for the exits, except for BUFFY, her
friends, and a couple of others.]

HIROKO: This should be easy. Eat up girls!

[HIROKO moves in for her next kill, but is stopped by a kick from
Buffy.]

BUFFY: Leave them alone! Wouldn't you rather fight me?

[HIROKO and BUFFY exchange blows for a while. As they do this, the other

VAMPIRES try to surround BUFFY. BUFFY kicks HIROKO and moves in for the
kill but realize too late that she doesn't have a stake with her.]

BUFFY: Damn. Why'd they have to pick the BATH of all places?

[HIROKO is still dazed but the VAMPIRES move in for the kill. WILLOW
bashes one on the head with a bucket, but the second one engages BUFFY.
She kicks it
to one of the walls and turns to see that HIROKO is back up. The first
vampire, now pissed at WILLOW stalks her and is about to kill her when a

girl in a swimsuit hits the VAMPIRE in the side with a strong kick. The
VAMPIRE turns
to the new girl, AKANE Tendo, and hits her hard, knocking her against a
wall. The
VAMPIRE then walks  deliberately toward her. The VAMPIRE is caught in
mid stride as a stake flies in from nowhere and kills it. The second
VAMPIRE turns to see what happened and is dead before she knew what hit
her. HIROKO punches BUFFY in the face and knocks her to the ground.
HIROKO is about to bite when a stake penetrates her from behind. She
screams and turns to dust.]

[Everyone takes a few seconds to collect themselves BUFFY and crew stand

before their savior, a black haired GIRL with a Pigtail. The girl looks
nervous and is trying to avert her gaze from BUFFY and her friends. The
GIRL looks like she wants to run, but her line of escape is cut off]

BUFFY: Thanks. That was amazing.  I'm Buffy, this is Willow, and�.
CODELIA: I'm Cordelia, thank you so much. I mean, I could have been
killed, again.
WILLOW: Uh, who are you?
GIRL[fidgeting]: Uh, I'm Ranma Saotome. Sorry bout all of this.

[As RANMA finishes his introduction AKANE comes to, and upon seeing
RANMA talking to three naked girls, on the women's side of the bath
explodes.]

AKANE: RANMA YOU  PERVERT!!!!!!! [She kicks RANMA through the ceiling of

the bathhouse and fumes.]

[fade out]

[Roll Opening.]

  RANMA: THE VAMPIRE SLAYER
  A RANMA 1/2/BUFFY: THE VAMPIRE SLAYER
  X-OVER (Draft)
  By George Mori morig@cwtel.com

�Welcome to Nerima�


[Scene 2: The streets of the Nerima Ward, Tokyo. Late afternoon. BUFFY,
XANDER, CORDELIA, OZ, WILLOW, and GILES are walking down the street.
Each person is carrying some sort of bag, except for CORDELIA who is
making XANDER carry her bags. They all look a little lost. GILES is
holding a map.]

BUFFY: Giles, where is this place?
GILES: I� I wish I knew. The map is well� rather useless. There are a
lot of bloody corners around here.
WILLOW: Well, I think we�re in the general area. [She points out a
corner.] Let�s go this way.
OZ: Man it�s hot as hell out here.
XANDER: Considering how close we�ve come to just that, I�d prefer terms
like �damn hot� or something similar.
WILLOW: You�re just cranky because you missed all the action last night.

CORDELIA: Nah, I bet he was trying to peep or something.
XANDER: Thanks for the vote of confidence honey.
OZ: So, the girl who saved you? She was prepared?
BUFFY: Yeah, I mean she had stakes and stuff. [Pointing] Let�s take this
street.
OZ: Man, that�s like wicked weird. Is she another slayer?
GILES: Possibly, though I don�t think there has ever been a recorded
slayer from Japan, I believe the closest to here was the northern
Chinese one several hundred years ago. But since the Hell Mouth has
spawned a portal here perhaps history has been made. I wish we knew
more, but in the past few days that little incident has been the only
activity in the area. Though several people have been reporting
explosions. I wonder if that girl was involved?
BUFFY: Yeah, well if she is, I�m sure we�ll find her soon enough.
XANDER: What were those girls� names again?
CORDELIA: The one with that nasty pigtail was called Ramen or something
like that,. Can you believe it? It�s like so out of style it�s scary, I
mean even Willow has better hair.
XANDER: Why is it whenever we talk, hair somehow pops into the
conversation?
WILLOW: Anyhow Cordelia, I think she said her name was Ranma
CORDELIA: Whatever. What�s the name of the place we�re looking for? It
had better be nice, not like that last place. And I hope there�s a
bathroom this time.
GILES: We�re staying with a family, apparently they have a rather large
house and can put us up, we did pay a pretty penny for it, but I suppose
it looks the least conspicuous. It�s called the Tendo Dojo.
XANDER: Ooh, Dojo, like in martial arts? Maybe you can pick up a few
pointers Buffy.
BUFFY:  If we can find the place that is. Let�s ask that guy for
directions.

[Camera shows a young guy walking down the road. He looks more lost than
BUFFY and crew. He is wearing black pants and a yellow shirt. On his
head is a yellow and black patterned bandanna. He carries a large
backpack and two umbrellas. The man is RYOGA Hibiki.]

WILLOW: Excuse me?
RYOGA: [smiles] Do you know�
CORDELIA: Ahem, she was talking. Talk about rude! Do you know how to get
to the Tendo Dojo?
RYOGA: [a beat as he contemplates the question, then:] NO!!! NO I DON�T!
DAMNIT I DON�T!!!
XANDER: Calm down there fella.
RYOGA: [snapping out of it] Sorry. I�m looking for it too. It�s just
hard to find.
WILLOW: That�s ok. I�m Willow.
GILES: I�m Rupert Giles, call me Giles.
BUFFY: Buffy.
OZ: Oz.
CORDELIA: I�m Cordelia.
XANDER: Just call me Xander.
RYOGA: Um� I�m Ryoga, Ryoga Hibiki. Nice to meet you.
WILLOW: Would you like to walk to the Dojo with us?
RYOGA: No� really it�s ok.
OZ: Come on, I�m sure you can help us find the place. Have you been
there before?
RYOGA: Yeah. A few times.
CORDELIA: So how come you can�t find it?
RYOGA: [blushes] Well�
GILES: It doesn�t matter. How about we get moving? I�d like to find this
bloody place before sundown.

[Cut to a dark abandoned warehouse. All the windows are boarded up, and
no sunlight is entering whatsoever. Several worn out pieces of furniture
are thrown about haphazardly. A male and female walk in from a door to
the east. The male has short, bleached blonde hair, and the female has
long black hair. The male is SPIKE, and the female is DRUSILLA. They
both speak with English accents.]

SPIKE: So love, how do you like it? I think it suits our style well.
DRUSILLA: Oh, it�s so beautiful. But why did we have to move so far
away.
SPIKE: I told you already, our lives will be much easier here. Look,
Japan, Tokyo especially is packed with millions of people, and you know
what? Well, vampires have been rather scarce around here, I mean we�ve
always been fond of our homes, and those were mainly Europe and the
Americas. Except for our newly initiated friends, we�ve got the town to
ourselves. Did you know that there�s never been a slayer here? I mean
that�s fucking incredible right there Dru, and there�s another bonus to
this little scenario. Most everyone here is a martial artist. That means
that it�s a little tough biting them early on, but, baby when they join
our little family� they keep all that knowledge. Bruce Lee the vampire,
now there�s a bloody bodyguard for you.
DRUSILLA: Oh, but I miss our old home anyway. I miss the family with
Angel.
SPIKE: He was against the idea Dru, he wanted to destroy our ability to
ever have a family. But now it�s different. We�re supreme here baby.
DRUSILLA: So we can start a big family this time?
SPIKE: As big as you want baby. As big as you want.

[Cut to a street just outside of the Tendo Dojo. It�s much later in the
day and BUFFY, RYOGA and company look tired. As they walk up to the door
a shout can be heard. RYOGA then darts around back shouting �RANMA
PREPARE TO DIE!!!�]

OZ: Ok, now what the hell just happened?
XANDER: At this point I don�t care. Let�s just go inside.
GILES: Yes. We�re looking for a Nabiki Tendo.
BUFFY: You told us that already.
GILES: In any case, here we are.
CORDELIA: [ever the pessimist] I was expecting this place to be bigger,
ya know?
WILLOW: [ever the optimist] Maybe it looks bigger on the inside.

[They all walk up to the house, the door is open, and there is no
visible place to knock.]

BUFFY: So, do we just go in?
GILES:  That is the custom.

[Cut to Tendo Living room, KASUMI Tendo is sweeping while AKANE is
eating some chips and watching TV. Suddenly Ryoga flies through the back
door into the room face first.]

KASUMI: Well, hello Ryoga, it�s nice to see you.

[RYOGA begins to get up when he sees AKANE turning to him, he then
begins to giggle uncontrollably.]

AKANE: Hello Ryoga. Are you OK?
RYOGA: [laughing] I�m fine! Ha.. haa.. It doesn�t hurt at all.
AKANE: [screaming out the window] RANMA! Quit picking on Ryoga.

[A pig-tailed man with black hair pops his head in the window. It is
RANMA.]

RANMA: You idiot! He attacked me! But I guess your vision�s as bad as
your cooking!
AKANE: WHAT!!!
RYOGA: Don�t talk that way to Akane Ranma!

[RYOGA jumps and fights for a while with RANMA. RANMA hits RYOGA sending
him into the koi pond. AKANE sighs and heads for the kitchen.]

RANMA: Would you quit DOING that!

[Ranma is cut short by the punch of a large Panda. A splash is heard
offscreen. A scuffle and a muffled series of helloes are heard. KASUMI
walks towards the door.]

KASUMI: I wonder who that could be.

[Cut to BUFFY and her entourage crammed into the entryway. GILES moves
to the front as KASUMI walks up smiling.]

KASUMI: Oh my! Foreigners. May I help you?
GILES: Uh� yes, are you Nabiki Tendo?
KASUMI: Oh you�re friends of Nabiki�s? I�ll go get her. Please. Come in.
[Kasumi goes to get her sister.]
XANDER: [aside/to OZ] She�s hot!
OZ: I didn�t know you dug Orientals.
XANDER: If it has breasts and two legs, I�m game.

[BUFFY and company enter, leaving their shoes at the door and taking
their bags with them, they slowly walk into the living room, taking in
their surroundings.]

BUFFY: Nice, in a kind of spartan, desolate way. In dire need of a
decorator though.
WILLOW: I think it�s nice. Really nice.

[AKANE, who had stepped out for a second walks into the living room
again.]

AKANE: Why hello there, I�m Akane�[stops suddenly]
WILLOW: Doesn�t she look familiar?
CORDELIA: Isn�t that?
BUFFY/AKANE: You�re that girl from the bathhouse!
XANDER: I think introductions are in order.
CORDELIA: But I know you.
XANDER: Someone else take this one.
BUFFY: Um, yeah. I�m Buffy� [blah blah blah, everyone introduces
themselves.]
AKANE: Nice to meet you but� what are you doing here?
GILES: Well, we made arrangements with a Nabiki Tendo to stay here for a
exchange program.
AKANE: She never told us. But then again, she never does. Make
yourselves comfortable.
WILLOW:  Um, thanks for last night.
AKANE: It was nothing, really.
GILES: Do you know what it was you fought last night?
AKANE: Yeah, vampires right?.
BUFFY: Does stuff like that happen often around here?
AKANE: Uh� define often.
GILES: Sunnydale aside, I suppose a couple of vampire incidents a month
would be often for most.
AKANE: Well, the vamps are rather new, that was the first real incident
I�ve seen, but Nermia seems to be a sort of weirdness magnet.
CORDELIA: And I was hoping for a vacation.

[KASUMI comes down.]

KASUMI: I could have sworn Nabiki was home, but it seems she stepped
out. I�ll make you some tea while you wait.
WILLOW: That�s ok really. You don�t need to�
CORDELIA: I�ll have mine with a bit of lemon and honey.
KASUMI: Oh my! You�re enthusiastic aren�t you?

[KASUMI heads to the kitchen.]

XANDER: She lives here too I assume.
AKANE: Yeah that�s my sister Kasumi.
OZ: Who else lives here?
AKANE: Well, you know me and Kasumi. Nabiki lives here too of course.
Dad�s outside with Ranma and Mr. Saotome. They live here too.
BUFFY: Ranma? That one girl who saved us?
AKANE: Uh� right the girl.
BUFFY: I thought you didn�t get along. Ya know the whole kicked through
the window thing.
AKANE: Well, it�s kinda hard to explain.
WILLOW: Is Ranma around? I�d like to thank her.
BUFFY: Me too. She was amazing.

[Kasumi comes in with several cups of tea and a kettle and passes the
glasses to everyone.]

GILES: Thank you. I�d be most interested in meeting Ranma as well, is
she here?
KASUMI: Oh, you�re looking for Ranma? I�ll go get him.

[KASUMI walks to the back screen and calls for RANMA. A female shout of
�Coming!� is heard.]

XANDER: Did she say �him�?
CORDELIA: I think we must�ve heard her wrong.
GILES: Yes I�m sure that she did� [GILES pauses] Oh dear.

[RANMA, a female, walks in wearing a pair of pants and nothing else. She
has a Chinese style shirt crumpled under her arm and is visibly dripping
water. She walks in like not having a shirt was no big deal. XANDER and
OZ� mouths hang open and everyone is staring at her.]

XANDER: [whispering to OZ] Is this the custom around here?
OZ: [whispering] I don�t know man.
XANDER: I�m one step closer to dying happy.
WILLOW: [closes Xander�s mouth] Xander close your mouth. It�s not polite
to gape.

[RANMA pays no attention to the crowd and talks to KASUMI]

RANMA: What�s up?
KASUMI: These people wanted to meet you Ranma.
RANMA: [looking at everyone] Hi. Oh, you�re those girls from the
bathhouse.
BUFFY: Uh� yeah.
RANMA: What�s wrong?
GILES: Er� well how do I say this�
AKANE: Ranma, aren�t you forgetting something?
RANMA:[scratching her head] Don�t think so.
AKANE: YOUR CHEST!!!
RANMA: [looks down] Oh shit! Sorry I forgot.

[RANMA hastily puts on her shirt. She sits down, trying to avoid the
gaze of BUFFY, WILLOW, and CORDELIA.]

RANMA: So what are you all doing here?

[GILES explains the situation. RANMA nods. Then everyone introduces
themselves.]

GILES: So, how did you know to be prepared for the vampires?
RANMA: Oh. I dunno, I suppose it was the old man who told me about them.

BUFFY: Old man?
AKANE: Trust me you don�t want to meet him. His name is Happosai, though
he insists we call him Mr. Watcher now.
WILLOW: Watcher?
XANDER: [to RANMA] That means you�re a slayer then?
RANMA/AKANE: How did you know?
GILES: W� Well, you see�
CORDELIA: Buffy�s also a slayer.

[Giles sighs. Bye bye tact. Akane and Ranma are shocked.]

XANDER: [indicating Giles] And he�s her watcher.
KASUMI: Really? How interesting.
RANMA:[not entirely believing them] I thought there could only be one
slayer. At least that�s what the old perv is always saying.
BUFFY: Well, I died. But I got better. That called the next slayer,
Kendra. [with a twinge of sadness.] She wasn�t so lucky.
KASUMI: That�s so sad.
AKANE: I�m sorry. [pause] So, when she died, that called Ranma.
GILES: Apparently. She�s the first slayer ever to come from Japan. It�s
rather interesting.
BUFFY: Well now that that is out of the way, let�s can business for a
few minutes. I�m still tired from the walk.
XANDER: Oh yeah, you still haven�t told us. Why are you staying here
Ranma?
RANMA: Uh� well.
AKANE: He�
KASUMI: Well, you see Ranma and Akane are engaged.
CORDELIA: OH MY GOD! I KNEW IT! THEY�RE LESBIANS! I FEEL SO VIOLATED!
BUFFY: Chill, girl. We live in an open minded age ok?
AKANE: It�s not like that. We�re not lesbians. I mean we�
CORDELIA: Do you prefer the word �dyke�?
AKANE/RANMA: NO!
BUFFY: Miss sensitivity strikes again.
XANDER:  Just want you to know, I�m cool with all of this. I like
lesbians.
GILES: Xander, shut up before you get smacked.
XANDER: Just trying to be helpful.
RANMA: Oy, this is going to take a little while to explain. [She grabs
the tea kettle.]

[As RANMA pours the kettle over herself, a large Panda walks in, holding
a sign that says �Hi�. As everyone�s attention focuses back on Ranma.
She is now a he.]

BUFFY: OK, who slipped the acid into the tea?
RANMA: Sorry about all this.

[Cut to the Kuno estate, at night. KODACHI Kuno, a teenager in a black
leotard is watering a bush of black roses. There is a rustle behind her
and she turns around.]

KODACHI: Tatchi? [silence] Ranma-sama?

[Spike emerges from the bushes, in vampiric form.]

SPIKE: Nope. But I�m a whole lot better.

[She swings a ribbon at him, he catches it and pulls her in. KODACHI
uses her other hand to hit him with a baton to the stomach. SPIKE growls
and hits her across the face. KODACHI pulls out a bouquet of roses,
which SPIKE catches full in the face. He coughs for a while as powder
floats around his head. SPIKE growls, KODACHI trips on a rock and falls
on the roses. SPIKE throws the bouquet on her, and moves in.  KODACHI
tries to scream but is cut off by SPIKE, biting her in the neck. He then
picks her up and carries her off.]

SPIKE: Damn that was fun. I�m going to love this fucking burg.

[fade to commercial]


[Scene 3. Tendo Living Room. Everyone is sitting talking. Cut to the
entryway. A girl in a green shirt and white cutoffs walks in. She has
shoulder length hair, with the ends cut in a line diagonally upwards.
She is counting a stack of bills. NABIKI Tendo, walks into the living
room with a confident gait and smiles.]

NABIKI: Good, you�re all here.
AKANE: So you knew about this and never told us?
NABIKI: Oh, didn�t I? I�m sorry. Really. But, you seem to be doing well
enough.
GILES: Nabiki Tendo I presume.
NABIKI: You got it. Rupert Giles if memory serves. Then, there�s Buffy,
Oz, Alexander, Willow, and Cordelia. Pleased to meet you.
BUFFY: Uh, same here.
KASUMI: Ranma and Akane were just explaining Ranma�s curse.
WILLOW: We made it as far as the trip to China thing.
NABIKI: I�m just in time for the good part.
RANMA: If you don�t mind?
NABIKI: No, please, continue.
RANMA: So, anyhow. My old man here decides to check out this ancient
Chinese training ground. [indicates the PANDA] Course my piece of shit
father here didn�t read enough Chinese to understand why the training
ground was so dangerous. Well, this training ground was huge, filled
with little ponds as far as ya could see. So between these pools is all
these bamboo poles. The trick was supposed to be to jump from pole to
pole while fighting each other. And not to fall into the pools. No big
deal for anyone as good as me right?
 Well, anyhow, dad was really off his game that day and I knock him in
one of the pools right off. The pool bubbles and suddenly a panda jumps
out at me. Next thing I remember the guide telling me that that was the
Spring of Drowned Panda, and everyone who fell into the spring would
turn into a panda. Well, Dad�s a little pissed, and I�m not paying
attention, next thing I know I fell into a pool too, and came up a girl.

AKANE: Hot water changes him back into a guy, cold into a girl. Same
with Genma.
RANMA: A few people are running around with similar curses, you�ll meet
them soon enough.
BUFFY: So that�s it?
RANMA: What do you mean?
WILLOW: Don�t get us wrong, that�s pretty strange, but well�
XANDER: Ya see, after you live in Sunnydale, ya get kinda immune to
weird.
AKANE: Weirder than that?
BUFFY: Oh yeah. Where do we start.
OZ: [what the hell] I�m a werewolf.

[Ranma and Akane are stunned.]

WILLOW: But a NICE werewolf. When he�s not running around trying to kill
things. Don�t worry though, we keep him chained up during the full moon.

OZ: Uh thanks. [pause]
XANDER:  I�ve been possessed what, three times?
[WILLOW and CORDELIA nod.]
CORDELIA: I was controlled by this weird alien thingie.
WILLOW: Then there was that whole dream thing.
RANMA: I get the point, sheesh.
GILES: What�s interesting is the fact that you are a slayer, Ranma.
Every slayer thus far has been, well, a girl. The curse changed things,
but it is most interesting.
RANMA: I dunno. The old man is the one who threw this all on me.
GILES: Yes, the watcher. Where is he?
NABIKI: Happy? He comes and goes as he pleases. He�ll be around when we
least want it.
OZ: Anyhow, at least your curse isn�t that bad.
RANMA: What do you mean �not that bad�?
BUFFY: I think he means all things taken.
WILLOW: Well like, I know that for like three weeks straight last year
Xander dreamed he was a gi�
XANDER: WILL!
WILLOW: A� a fluttering fairy that flew around the forest.
BUFFY: I didn�t need to know that.
XANDER: [why me?] My head hurts.
CORDELIA: A WHAT?

[Cut to Warehouse. SPIKE and DRUSILLA are standing over the body of
KODACHI. They are looking down on her. KODACHI isn�t moving.]

SPIKE: So, honey do you like her?
DUSILLA: She�s magnificent darling, much better than those last three.
Where did Hiroko go anyway Spike?
SPIKE: She�s probably dead. Tried to bite off more than she could chew,
more likely than not. Forgive the pun. They were never any good anyway.
Now this girl has potential. I don�t recall drinking such strong blood
since the last slayer I bagged.
DRUSILLA: Are there more like her?
SPIKE: Lots and lots Dru.

[KODACHI stirs. SPIKE and DRU move in to see if she is coming to.
KODACHI screams and then is silent.]

SPIKE: It�s starting.
DRUSILLA: I love this part it�s so romantic. [she clings to SPIKE]

[KODACHI screams again. Cut to a close up of her face.]

KODACHI: Ranma-sama?
SPIKE: No. Try again.
KODACHI: What�s happening? [ she tries to get up and screams again.]
DRUSILLA: Shh, it�ll be over soon.
SPIKE: It hurts a bit while your soul is ripped from your body, but
it�ll pass.

[KODACHI screams continuously. DRUSILLA looks almost orgasmic. SPIKE
just grins. Soon the screaming subsides.]

SPIKE: Aren�t you glad I waited till I brought her home. I knew you
wanted to see this.
DRUSILLA: I love it.
SPIKE: She�s the first in our new family.
DRUSILLA: Ooh, she�s coming to, how do you feel dear?
KODACHI: I feel incredible.
DRUSILLA: I�m so happy!
SPIKE: So, what�s your name?
KODACHI: It�s Kodachi Kuno.
SPIKE: Hold it. First, ditch the last name. We don�t use them. What�s
the point? Second, well, I don�t know your name doesn�t suit you
anymore. First it�s too bloody hard to say. Second, we vampires. Shall I
say we GOOD vampires, not all those bloody hacks who couldn�t kill a
fucking cat if they tried, we use nicknames. Something about our past.
Something that spreads well, and get us known. Look at me. I�m Spike.
Short. Easy. And I hate� no, I love to brag. I�m known. I don�t think I
can even remember my old name anymore. I got Spike, because I loved
impaling my victims with railroad spikes. Those were the days. Hard to
get those big metal fuckers these days.
DRUSILLA: But I don�t have a nickname Spike.
SPIKE: That�s because you don�t need one Dru. Your name is beautiful
just the way it is. Sinister sounding. Anyhow, you were in a convent. I
don�t know �nun� doesn�t seem to roll of the tongue does it?
KODACHI: I see.
SPIKE: Usually we wait till you get a few kills under your belt to give
you a nick. But you have some potential. We�re opening a chapter of the
YVCA, and we�ve got a management position open Kodachi.
KODACHI: Who�s Kodachi? Rose. I�m Rose. [she breaks out in insane
laughter.]
SPIKE: That�s the spirit love.
DRUSILLA: [all lovey dovey] Spike?
SPIKE: What is it Dru?
DRUSILLA: Let�s get something to eat.
SPIKE: I just ate.
DRUSILLA: But all the excite me made me hungry. I need to kill
something.
SPIKE: Oh, all right. Let�s go Rose. We�re going to paint the town Red.

[ROSE continues laughing, oblivious to the world.]

SPIKE: ROSE!
ROSE: Oh, sorry. Was there something you wanted?
SPIKE: We�re leaving. What the hell is so funny anyhow?
ROSE: Nothing, I was just thinking of a present I can give my darling
Ranma.

[Cut to the Tendo living room. Everyone is still talking.]

RANMA: Anyhow. I�m sorry about that whole bath thing.

[WILLOW, CORDELIA and BUFFY blush.]

BUFFY: Um, it�s ok. You did save us and all.
WILLOW: Yeah.
XANDER: Hold on. If that would have been me. Save you or not you would
have kicked my ass.
BUFFY: That�s not true, well not entirely.
XANDER: See, it�s true. Well I demand fair treatement.
GILES: What exactly would you have them do?
CORDELIA: [pissed] Yeah. What kinda stuff would we have to do?
XANDER: Well I guess they could just str�
BUFFY: I wouldn�t finish that sentence.
XANDER: Straighten out their stuff, um in their rooms.
RANMA: Need a little work on your recovery there pal.
XANDER: Bite me.
GILES: But he didn�t have a bad idea. [glares from the girls] I.. I�
Straightening out your things.

[The girls simultaneously say �oh�]

GILES: Where will we be staying Ms. Tendo?
NABIKI: Nabiki. Please.
GILES: Uh yes. Of course.
NABIKI: Well, we have three guys and three girls. The girls will stay in
the spare room and the guys with Ranma .
RANMA: WHAT?? There�s no way there�s enough room.
NABIKI: It�ll be fine.
RANMA: My room is barely big enough for me and pops.

[The Panda nods vigorously]

NABIKI: You�re a guest here aren�t you?
RANMA: Yeah but�
NABIKI: You wouldn�t want me to tell your mother you were unyielding to
our requests would you?
RANMA: Ok, ok, fine. Not like I�m there much.
XANDER: [picking up his bags] Well, shall we get going roomie?

[fade out]

[Cut to commercial]

[Scene 3. Akane�s room night. AKANE is sitting on her bed. There is a
knock on the door.]

AKANE: Come in.

[BUFFY walks in and waves slightly.]

AKANE: Oh. Hi.
BUFFY: Um hi. [looking around.] So, I just wanted to say I�m sorry about
just dropping in like that.
AKANE: That�s OK. We�re kinda used to unexpected guests.
BUFFY: Oh. [a beat] I hear you take martial arts.
AKANE: A little.
BUFFY: I could use someone to practice with. I mean, Giles is ok and
all, but�
AKANE: Sounds like fun.
BUFFY: Cool. [a beat] So, um you�re engaged to Ranma.
AKANE: [hastily] It wasn�t our idea. Our parents did it when we were
really young.
BUFFY: So there�s nothing between you two?
AKANE: [violently] OF COURSE NOT!
BUFFY: [what�s her problem?] Sorry.
AKANE: No, it�s ok.
BUFFY: It�s a shame though. He�s pretty cute. [ AKANE glares at her]
Whoa there. Don�t worry I�m not in the market. [BUFFY looks slightly
sad.]
AKANE: I didn�t� Did something happen?
BUFFY: I don�t want to talk about it.

[There is an uncomfortable silence, then a knock at the door. NABIKI
sticks her head in.]

NABIKI: Uh, Buffy? Giles wants you. He said something about a patrol.
BUFFY: Alright. You�d think he�d learn to relax a little.

[Cut to: Night. Street outside of Ukyo�s Okonomiyaki shop. AKANE, BUFFY,
WILLOW, and OZ are walking down the street.]

BUFFY: So where is it we�re going?
AKANE: It�s a popular little restaurant around here. It�s run by Ukyo.
OZ: The second fianc�?
AKANE: [her face darkens] Yeah. [mumbles] The cute one.
WILLOW: Did you say something?
AKANE: Nothing.
BUFFY: So, um why are we patrolling here instead of like a club or
something?
AKANE: Club? They let you go to clubs in the States?
OZ: Why wouldn�t they?
AKANE: Never mind, no, we don�t have any clubs.

[Cut to just outside Ukyo�s. A GUY is walking down the street with his
BUDDY.]

GUY: Man, that waitress looks good.
BUDDY: Oh yeah. I always have trouble deciding which place to go to,
here or the Nekohanten.

[They talk and walk for a little while longer. DUSILLA and ROSE appear
from the shadows, they are both in their human forms. ROSE and DRU gaze
seductively at the GUY and his BUDDY.]

ROSE: Can you help us? We�re looking for a nice place to eat.
DRUSILLA: We could use the help of you big strong men.
GUY: [double take] Uh, yeah! Where do you want to go?

[ROSE walks up to BUDDY and moves her fingers up his back.]

ROSE: I think I�d like to go to that nice, dark alley are you two game?
[she purrs]
BUDDY: Uh, well, I mean.
DRUSILLA: Come on it�ll be fun.
GUY: Um.
ROSE: [snaps] DON�T BE DIFFICULT!

[With that GUY and BUDDY scurry off into the back alley with ROSE and
DRUSILLA.]

GUY: Um� Do we start necking or something now?

[Close up of ROSE in vampire form. Camera then pulls out to show that
DRU is also in her ugly mode.]

ROSE: HAHAHAHAHA!
DRUSILLA: [patronizing]  Yes, I think necking would be great fun.

[DRUSILLA grabs GUY and he tries to sweep her legs out from under her.
He screws up and DRUSILLA ends up lying on top of him.]

DRUSILLA: Why honey, we�re moving ahead so fast. Are you sure you�re
ready for this?
GUY: [soiling himself] I� I�
DRUSILLA: Well, I AM!

[With that DRUSILLA bites GUY in the neck. BUDDY runs like hell from
ROSE who had been watching the whole thing. ROSE turns and lashes out
with her ribbon, snagging BUDDY by the ankle.]

ROSE: Why are men always running from me?
BUDDY: SOMEONE HELP!!

[ROSE strikes and BUDDY tries to block. He kicks her in the stomach and
follows up with a punch to the face. ROSE is dazed and BUDDY tries to
run out of the alleyway but is stopped by DRUSILLA. He tries to find a
way out, but seeing none gets ready to fight. ROSE produces a bouquet of
black roses and throws it in his face.]

ROSE: Now you stay put.

[BUDDY struggles but is paralyzed. ROSE walks up to him slowly, as if
taunting him, then suddenly bites. She holds him in the bite for a few
seconds and then breaks out in insane laughter. She then picks up the
body and goes hopping along the rooftops.]

DRUSILLA: Rose! Come back here!

[Cut to the interior of Ukyo�s. It�s a small little place, but rather
full.   There is a large grill along the front, with several stools,
they are all full, but there are people standing trying to get food.
UKYO, a girl in men�s clothing is cooking several Okonomiyaki. AKANE and
crew walk in and say hi.]

UKYO: Hello.
BUFFY: Um hi.
AKANE: Hi Ukyo.
WILLOW: We�re staying at the Tendo Dojo. I�m Willow. Nice to meet you.
UKYO: [dryly] They wouldn�t happen to be�
AKANE: No. They aren�t.
OZ: [to Willow] What was that?
WILLOW: I�m not sure.
BUFFY: Um have you seen anything strange around here lately?
WILLOW: You know, weird people hanging around? Things like that.
UKYO: Weirder than the usual?
OZ: I don�t know the usual but I�d have to say: yeah.
BUFFY: These people kinda have this whole, hiding in the shadows talking
killing thing going. Tend to like wearing black.
UKYO: Well, come to think of it, there was a foreigner hanging around
back a couple nights back. He looked, I dunno American? He had bleached
black hair.

[WILLOW and BUFFY look at each other.]

AKANE: What?
BUFFY: Nothing, it couldn�t be him.
UKYO: What�s going on?
BUFFY: Don�t worry about it. Is there an alley or something out back?
UKYO: Yeah. But�
BUFFY: Thanks.

[BUFFY runs out the back door into the alleyway. It a small cramped
area. She looks around and sees nothing. The camera pans various shadows
each turning into something vaguely human before shifting into their
real state. BUFFY walks down the alley and back, with her stake ready.
She begins to calm when she hears a sound. BUFFY spins around with stake
in hand about to strike, soon she finds herself flat on her back. The
camera pans up to show AKANE.]

AKANE: Sorry. Reflex.
BUFFY: Uh, same here. Not bad though.
AKANE: Well, I just wanted to see if you were OK.
BUFFY: I�m peachy, really.

[AKANE helps BUFFY up. They both walk back to Ukyo�s.]

WILLOW: So, uh was there anything?
BUFFY: Nope, we�re clear.
OZ: That�s cool. I kinda wanted to get something to eat.
UKYO: Sounds good. What would you guys like?
BUFFY: After this let�s head back. I could use some sleep.

[Cut to another street somewhere in Nerima. A GIRL walks down the street
quickly. She turns as if she heard something. The camera cuts to SPIKE
walking out of the shadows with a grin on his face. A beat. Then he
lunges towards her�]

[Cut to Ranma�s room. RANMA, XANDER, GILES, and OZ are trying to get
comfortable. It�s rather cramped and there is very little room.]

RANMA: I don�t know how the hell pops in gonna fit here. This is sick.
GILES: I agree but let�s just make the best of it. Xander get your leg
off of me!
XANDER: It�s not my leg.
OZ: How about we discuss something other than our newfound closeness?
XANDER: I�m game. So Ranma. You�re engaged to Akane. How far have you
gone?
RANMA: Wha�
XANDER: No need to be shy? We�re all guys here, even Giles.
GILES: What do you mean �even Giles�?
RANMA: I haven�t done anything!
XANDER: I bet.
RANMA: Really.
XANDER: So you haven�t moved past the heavy necking phase yet? [pause]
Uh, French kissing? [another pause] You have kissed her right?
RANMA: AN UNCUTE TOMBOY LIKE HER?
XANDER: NOTHING? Man, you need to get a move on.
OZ: Maybe he likes Shampoo. They�re engaged too you know.
XANDER: That�s it.
RANMA: [adamantly] NO!
XANDER: So you DO like Akane.
RANMA: No way! She�s violent, and uncute and�
OZ: He�s got it.
XANDER: He�s got it bad.
RANMA: That�s it. I�m shutting off the lights. Good night.
OZ and XANDER: Good night Romeo.

[Cut to the Jyusenkyo Training grounds. It looks just like Ranma�s
description of it. RANMA, male, is walking slowly through the land
bridges between the pools. He looks around.]

RANMA: What the hell?

[RANMA trips on a rock and falls straight for a pool. He tenses up as he
hits the water. Suddenly he is falling from the ceiling of a large room.
It has a polished black floor and seems to go on in all directions
forever. RANMA, now a girl looks around. Suddenly a shadow appears
before her. It shifts and then transforms into AKANE.]

AKANE: Choose me Ranma.

[RANMA, stares dumbfounded at the image of AKANE. Suddenly it shifts
again, this time it turns into UKYO.]

UKYO: Choose me Ranchan.

[The shadow shifts again, this time into SHAMPOO, a Raven haired Chinese
girl. ]

SHAMPOO: Choose Shampoo Ranma.

RANMA: But�

[The shadow changes back into AKANE.]

AKANE: Protect me Ranma.

[AKANE morphs into UKYO]

UKYO: Protect me Ranchan.

[UKYO morphs into SHAMPOO]

SHAMPOO: Protect Shampoo Ranma.

[Suddenly two shadows appear on either side of  SHAMPOO. They are AKANE
and UKYO. They all move and surround RANMA. They all chant in unison.]

SHADOWS: Choose me Ranma. Protect me Ranma.

[They repeat this several times while slowly closing in on RANMA. She
looks nervous. Suddenly all three SHADOWS jump at her.]

[Cut to Ranma�s room. He sits up in bed sweating profusely. He looks
around the room to get his bearings, then realizing where he is, lies
down, staring at the ceiling.]

[fade out]

[Roll credits]