The FFML Synopses List
======================
For the week of: September 25, 1998
Reviewers:
Paul Arezina <arezina@acad1.stvincent.edu>
Helen Szeto <Helen@eiw-ca.com>
Shunsuke <shunsuke@mailcity.com>
Synopses Submitted: 20
* * * * *
[Ah! Megami-sama!]
- - - - -
Title: Guard the Future, chapter 2
Series: Aa! Megami-sama!
Genre: Self-insert, comedy-drama
Author: Andrew Huang
Email: alhuang@hcs.harvard.edu
Homepage: http://www.hcs.harvard.edu/~alhuang/
fics: http://www.hcs.harvard.edu/~alhuang/anime/fanfics/
Date Sent to FFML: September 20(?)
Size: 19k
Summary:
Continuing with my role as Skuld's guardian angel--how I'm taking
this, what's just happening now....
{Paul}
I was on the floor at several points. "Pocky. I can buy _Pocky_ at
an airport snack stand!" among them. And why you keep calling this
a self-insert when the character is diametrically opposed to most
active self-inserts (as opposed to the passive narrator kind) is
beyond me. This is turning out to be something I will definitely
read the next chapter of, simply because it strikes me as a
plausible extension of A!MG and a plausible self-insert. 15 or 16
out of 20.
{Shunsuke}
Pocky at the airport? Doesn't take much to excite you, does it? O_-
I like the subtle jokes ("Please?" "No.") and the lack of overdoing
it when it comes to people's behaviours, much better than most self
insert stuff. This is likable, but I don't buy the idea that a
grown man wouldn't take a chance with Urd. ^_^
* * * * *
[Boku no Marie]
- - - - -
Title: Music-Box Angel, Episode 3: High The Memory
Series: Boku No Marie
Genre: Romantic Comedy/Drama
Author: Matthew Johnston
Email: matt2518@gladstone.uoregon.edu
Homepage: None Yet
Date Sent to FFML: 9/17/98
Size: 36K (approx. 5600 words)
Summary:
Marie spills her guts, Tanaka hits a single, Hiroshi plays Santa Claus
and Mari makes a little discovery.
{Paul}
First, I LIKE the waiter. He makes a very nice outside perspective,
in a sort of a Yosho sort of way. Hiroshi... gad, the boy has it
BAD. This is the point where I'd get up and walk away from the
television set, were this anime, because I can't STAND to see anyone
making a fool out of themselves. But other than that... very
interesting story. Except for this one bit in the middle where
you're focusing in on Tanaka and Hiroshi's name just pops out of
nowhere... ah well. Can't expect perfection, can we. It's
interesting, though... interesting enough to merit 14 or 15 out
of 20.
{Shunsuke}
Whether it was intentional or not, the author also had a reference
to Monty Python's Meaning of Life, and considering Marie, that's
somehow appropriate.
Not being familiar with the anime, it's hard to judge the accuracy
of this to the original, but this story made for nice reading, if
one suspends disbelief about Tanaka and Mari suspending their
disbelief; it's not everyday you find out far-out sci-fi is for
real.
* * * * *
[Evangelion]
- - - - -
Title: Garden of EVA 0:
Series: Neon Genesis Evangelion
Genre: Alternate Universe
Author: Jim Lazar
Email: jimlazar@earthlink.net
Homepage: http://home.earthlink.net/~jimlazar/anime
Date Sent to FFML: 9/21/98
Size: 22k
Summary:
Take 5 minutes from episode 26 and make it into a continuing series?
No way! Can't be done! What if I put a VR Eva game in and lots of
hormone driven teenagers talking about sex? Not enough? How about a
love triangle? Ah, now that I have your attention:
Chapter Summary:
Ritsuko scares the S*** out of Shinji when telling him not to hurt her
sister, Rei. So what does Shinji do? Takes Rei to the movies on their
first real date, although Rei seems to be rushing things for some
reason. What is it about her past that she is hiding? A boat ride
follows the movie, where Shinji adds to his panty collection.
{Helen}
<borrowing from Mr. Huang.> Mwe Heh Heh. Mwe Heh Heh. ^^;
A well written story with the tang of the lemon/limes in the
-most- interesting places ^^; Going back to 'canon'-based
EVA fanfics will take some effort after reading this one. ^^
{Shunsuke}
This whole series reads like an excuse for the author to be hentai.
(Not that I'm criticizing. O_-) The scenes are likable, especially
when Shinji fondles Rei and she gets wet, if you know what I mean.
And how appropriate that Gendo goes from trying to be god to being
a lowly repairman. (But the expansion of the acronym NERV...jeez,
that's painful. ^_^)
- - - - -
Title: My First SI
Series: Eva
Genre: Stupid/SI
Author: Brian
Email: brian_kun@hotmail.com
Homepage: http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Shrine/6648
Size: Four lines
Summary:
You ever see 'Bambi meets Godzilla'?
{Shunsuke}
I'm as much for spamfics as anyone else, but did this really serve
a purpose? Now, if the author had done a self-insert with himself
as Captain Sarcastic (if you know what I mean, you'll understand),
that would have been funny.
* * * * *
[Original]
- - - - -
Title: Macho Caballo Chapter 28 - Of Pigtraps and Wolfcalls
Series: Macho Caballo
Genre: Humor/Drama/Original
Author: James Eades (James and the Bluejay)
Email: jeeades@ix.netcom.com
Homepage: http://www2.netcom.com/~jeeades/macho.htm
Date Sent to FFML: Sept 20 1998
Size: 35K
Summary:
Ramon has found his sister, Lucha, but has to go along with a ruse (at
least until the bear-grease wears off). As a result, Machita finds
herself surrounded by pigs...literally. What do you do when you are
insulted, bullied, and shoved around, when you know you are a man?
Hmmm. Meanwhile, the chief is getting suspicious, Espuma drops in,
and Angie wants to go home.
{Paul}
Hmm. Issues which I doubt Ranma has ever worried about get raised
here; among them, how to do acrobatics in a long-skirted dress.
Very interesting, if slow, development of the million-and-one tiny
plotlines which weave into a much larger story; whether everything
will be resolved all at once or resolved in its own time, I cannot
yet tell. But it is quite interesting, so far, even if the pacing
seems rather slow in places. 14 or 15 out of 20.
* * * * *
[Patlabor]
- - - - -
Title: Patlabor Stateside #6: CAMP Undercover
Series: Mobile Police Patlabor
Genre: action/comedy/semi-original
Author: Bart Kelsey
Email: kelsey.14@osu.edu
Homepage: http://www.cis.ohio-state.edu/~kelsey/fanfics.html
Date Sent to FFML: 9/25/98
Size: ~37k
Summary:
Ron and Gabe go undercover to bust a drug ring, and Mitch rescues a
kitten.
{Shunsuke}
I know very little about Patlabor, so bear with me (my impression
from the liner notes is "Dominion Tank Police without interesting
bad guys").
There's a sense of humour throughout that *just* doesn't quite work
for me; it's a nice try, but something's missing. Not much happens
in this chapter, though details and events are fleshed out nicely
except at the end. Knowing more about Betts arrest and the
surrounding events would be better. Overall, this isn't bad.
* * * * *
[Ranma 1/2]
- - - - -
Title: 12th night chapter 1
Series: Ranma/original
Genre: Action/comedy
Author: David L. Lindquist & Ethan Tsai
Email: fido@rma.edu
Date Sent to FFML: Sept. 25
Size: 25 K
Summary:
Ranma and Ryoga accidently cause a yakua deal to go sour. But neither
one suspects that this accident will gain them an enemy that will try
to destroy their lives!
{Paul}
Hmm. In all honesty, I can see this turning out like "Smoke and
Mirrors". Although there is the matter of the very believable
character of the man who's just a pawn in the game the yakuza play.
I'll admit the Ranma-verse portions are a bit cliche, but this
isn't about Ranma, necessarily, only someone who gets his life torn
apart because of it. Interesting to see how others view Nerima...
and I'm waiting for the next part rather eagerly. 13 or 14 out of
20 overall.
{Shunsuke}
A realistic and gritty start with a (from what little I know)
believable protrayal of gangsters. The level of violence here is
beyond the normal Ranma stuff; that isn't a problem for me, but a
warning might have been in order for people not expecting this.
I just wonder though...the restaurant scene reads exactly like the
scene from the X-Files episode written by William Gibson. ^_^
- - - - -
Title: Childhood of a Modern Dynasty - Chapter
Series: Ranma 1/2
Genre: Continuation
Author: Jim Lazar
Email: jimlazar@earthlink.net
Homepage: http://home.earthlink.net/~jimlazar/anime
Date Sent to FFML: 9/21/98
Size: 55k
Summary:
A series chronicling sixty years of Akane Tendo's life. Some happy
moments and some sad. Akane and Ranma love each other, but is that
enough to keep them together through the whole sixty years? Will James
Davidson ever finish the book on Akane's life he is writing? Not if
his fiancee, Hanaki Ono, keeps distracting him.
Chapter Summary:
James' research takes him to the beach (ok, Hanaki dragged him
there). Back in 1999, Ranma and Ranko try to adjust to separate lives,
Akane clears up some misunderstandings with Ranko after she caught her
and Ukyo kissing, and Nabiki opens a new restaraunt. Hiring Ranma,
[Truncated due to excessive length. -ed]
{Paul}
*Sigh* You'd think that Nabiki of all people would know better than
to hire family. Particularly HER family. This story starts out a
bit awkwardly when Ukyo finds out the difference; Ranma's
explanation is a bit too brief to do all the good it did. At least
that's my impression; I could be wrong. But it picks up rather
nicely and hums along until the inevitable knock-down-drag-out
fight at the end. 14 or 15 out of 20.
- - - - -
Title: Fire and Ice Chapter 5
Series: Ranma 1/2
Genre: Unusual Setting
Author: Nikholas "goo" F. Toledo
Email: niftol@i-manila.com.ph
Homepage: http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Flats/3145/fireice.html
Date Sent to FFML: 2212H 21 Sep 98 (+0800H)
Size: 17 KB
Summary:
Prince meets princess under moonlit sky, and Ryouga comes face to face
to face with destiny.
{Shunsuke}
A little more expressive and descriptive than previous parts, this
still lacks a little in completeness, it needs more "scenery" and
feel. The storyline itself is fine and consistent, and would have
worked well even without a borrowed character.
- - - - -
Title: I Like Ucchan: Part 4
Series: Ranma 1/2
Genre: Continuation
Author: Donny Cheng
Email: chengd@ucalgary.ca
Homepage: http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Ginza/4537
Date Sent to FFML: September 18, 1998
Size: 13k
Summary:
Ukyo decides finally get a straight answer from Ranma.
{Paul}
If you call that a straight answer I'd hate to see what you say
Ranma being indecisive is. That was the most blatantly stupid cover
story of all time that Ukyo pulled; however, Ranma being Ranma, he
sees nothing wrong with that. And, Ranma being Ranma, he runs away
at the first sign of anything resembling a romantic interlude. A
chapter which, were the names and places changed, would fit rather
nicely into "Tenchi Muyo!". And a rather nice exploration of the
grey area it is, too. 15 or 16 out of 20.
{Shunsuke}
Oh, and she gets one, alright.... Minus the screwball stuff and
adding in KOR Hikaru's desperation, this feels like the Ranma TV
series. That all adds up to somebody getting hurt.
A little more cleaning up of the story needs to be done, but the
pace and feel are good.
- - - - -
Title: I Like Ucchan: Part 5
Series: Ranma 1/2
Genre: Continuation
Author: Donny Cheng
Email: chengd@ucalgary.ca
Homepage: http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Ginza/4537
Date Sent to FFML: Septempber 24, 1998
Size: 15k
Summary:
The consequences of Ranma's words.
{Paul}
Hmm. Even if you're trying to write like Ranma thinks, the
narrator shouldn't say "brang". Ain't proper grammar... matter of
fact, this particular installment could use a good, thorough
spellcheck and grammar check. And make sure you don't shift between
past and present tense... gets very distracting. The whole second
scene in Ucchan's struck me as being rather rough. Unpolished.
Especially Ranma's confession. He wouldn't sit there and say it,
he'd be pausing for breaths and gathering his courage every step
of the way. And what he says... it's cold. Detached... Ranma isn't
cold or detached. Polish this up and it'd be good... but I can only
give it 10 or 11 out of 20 in this form.
{Shunsuke}
Hmm...for a "solve-everything" fic, it certianly doesn't solve
anything. ^_^ I'm a little surprised by the end, but it's not an
inappropriate ending, even considering how our heroes are still
stuck where they were before. Emotional and fulfilling, but not
overdone...I mean the story, not okonomiyaki. O_-
- - - - -
Title: Illuminations, Chapter 17
Series: Ranma 1/2
Genre: Dark, Alternaverse
Author: Freemage
Email: freemage@hotmail.com
Date Sent to FFML: Sept. 25 (in the wee hours)
Summary:
Series is an alternate explanation of the true motivations of many R.5
characters. The Illuminati have been ID'd as the force behind it all,
but their agent remains unknown.
Episode 17: Genma-Panda is missing, where can he be? Soun and Nodoka
close the gap. A brief Omake to explain why there's been such a long
delay between chapters
{Paul}
Okay. First, the Omake is hysterical. Second, the fic is... gad.
Just...gad. That is dark and depressing and more so than one would
realize. Ranko's reactions are well-written hysteria (NOT a
contradiction in terms)... one can only wonder what will happen
when it all comes together. And Soun... gad. I've never really
hated the man, but you've changed all that. 15 or 16 out of 20,
and get a webpage so we can read prior parts, hmm?
- - - - -
Title: My Second SI
Series: Ranma
Genre: Stupid/SI
Author: Brian
Size: 6k?
Summary:
You don't want to know...
{Shunsuke}
If I may quote Sam from the movie _Ghost_ when he sang "Henry VIII":
"Second verse, same as the first, a little louder, a little worse."
- - - - -
Title: A New Life (Rewrite)
Series: Ranma
Genre: Dark
Author: Ryan Erik
Email: ryanerik@xoommail.com
Homepage: http://members.xoom.com/RyanErik
Date Sent to FFML: September 25, 1998
Size: 230k
Summary:
In the sequel to "Vengeance," Ranma wakes up from a coma after nearly
two decades, trapped in her female form. Surrounded by strangers and
very far away from home, she has to learn to deal with her current
situation, but the conditions of her stay don't help things much. The
emotional trauma that accompanied her survival of the near fatal
accident are much worse than any physical injury that could have been
done to her. Will she pull through and create herself a new life?
{Shunsuke}
Ah, much better this time. With some minor tweaking and a lot more
effort to make things right, the author has made this worth reading.
The plot and story are expanded, new scenes added (as far as I can
remember, that is) which help flesh things out. And thought there
are still some errors, at least the quality of English has improved
of the first version. Now if only other writers would take a cue
from this and put in a little more effort.
Now, just how the hell am I supposed to hate Happosai after this
one...?
- - - - -
Title: Stigma Parts 3 and 4
Series: Ranma 1/2
Genre: Dark Thriller
Author: J. Austin Wilde
Email: wildeman@psn.net
Homepage: http://www.psn.net/~wildeman/
Date Sent to FFML: 16 and 23 September 1998
Size: 45K, 54K
Summary:
The investigation continues, suspects mount, Gosunkugi's peeping on
Akane, and the killer strikes again.
{Paul}
I'm still waiting for the dark twist on the P.G. Wodehouse ending,
wherein an entire normal mystery novel is compressed into the space
of one day and six pages. EVERYONE's got a secret or two, or three,
and there are umpteen million suspicious leads that may or may not
go anywhere just lying around. I can feel how frustrated the police
are getting with this case... namely because I'M getting pretty
frustrated with it myself. But overall... 18 and up out of 20. Very
good writing... no wonder you're thinking of going professional.
{Shunsuke}
Still no definite clues, only innuendo and insinuation. Everything
is pointing toward one person, and nothing leading elsewhere, which
tells me...well, it doesn't tell me anything, really. I just hope
the series reaches its climax or key point soon, otherwise there's
the risk that it will bog down and lose the reader's interest.
Just one thing...Kodachi fantasizing about Ryouga? O_o What a
strange fellow you are. ^_^
- - - - -
Title: Waters Under Earth - Chapter 25
Series: Ranma 1/2
Genre: Darkish, Continuation
Author: Alan Harnum
Email: harnums@hotmail.com
Homepage: http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Bay/9758
Date Sent to FFML: September 20th
Size: 73k
Summary:
The egress of the Nerimites continues, as Mousse and Kodachi begin
their own journey to Jusenkyou, leaving Kuno behind to wrestle with
his own problems.
However, things don't end up going quite as planned, as the
consequences of decisions Kuno has made become more terrible and
far-reaching than he could have ever imagined...
{Paul}
Again... where do you get it? I can see this, like I'm watching
anime, only this isn't anime, this is MUCH more serious... where DO
you get it? Anything I could say seems rather insignificant with
how my heart was tugged in one direction and another, from horror
to relief to horror and back again... you write very nice suspense,
sirrah. More than that... gad, people, if you have a weekend to
spare, read this whole story. Every bit as good as Hearts of Ice.
18 and up out of 20.
* * * * *
[Ranma 1/2 / Wheel of Time]
- - - - -
Title: My Baka Gaidin chapter 1-3, 4 (draft)
Series: Ranma 1/2, Wheel of Time Series
Genre: Xover
Author: Kuku
Email: Kukuru@worldnet.att.net
Homepage:
Date Sent to FFML: Sep 25, 1998
Size: 61k, 18k
Summary:
Ranma gets pushed into a new world, new life, and new
girl... err.. woman. The ex-Amyrlin Seat Siuan Sanche tries to shape a
boy into a warder only to get more then a headache.
{Shunsuke}
With no idea of what Wheel Of Time is about, this is hard going; to
all writers, I would suggest in future that including at least a
synopsis if you plan to borrow heavily from non-anime sources that
are not immediately recognizable. That's not just for me, think of
all the other readers who have no idea of the characters and plots
you refer to.
From prologue to part 3, things are quite rough; the draft of part
4 is often easier to read. Events are well described but seem more
like a transcription than a cohesive story, and with the lack of
polish that is needed here, I couldn't really see much happening.
Sorry to sound so negative, but this could use a rewrite; maybe
the author can resubmit it once its been fixed.
* * * * *
[Sailor Moon]
- - - - -
Title: After School Part 1: The Return of Banana No. 2
Series: Sailor Moon
Genre: Continuation
Author: Ajax
Email: breaker@technologist.com
Homepage:
Date Sent to FFML: 26th September
Size: 8 Kb
Summary:
Set before the prologue, part 1 shows what Minako did in her summer
vacation in Okinawa through a conversation in Makoto's new restaurant.
{Shunsuke}
This isn't as good as the prologue, Mr. Author, though it's not
putrid. ^_^ Scripts don't really have the flow of prose, so I'd
suggest you try a standard writing style.
Agreed with the author, not much happens here, but what's here is
a good place to start and continue on from. You've got the
characters down better this time, as well as I can judge it. Add
some more and you've got something worth continuing. But please,
*PUH-LEEZE* try sticking to lines of 60-70 characters; line
wrapping can be annoying to follow.
- - - - -
Title: The O-Files #2
Series: Sailor Moon (with a ton of gratutitous cameos)
Genre: Parody/Comedy
Author: Lina Inverse
Email: lina@maison-otaku.net
Homepage: http://www.maison-otaku.net/~lina
Date Sent to FFML: 9/23/98
Summary:
Agents Ten'ou and Kaiou of TSUKI are at it once again, with the
Research Scientist of Time and the Sidekick of Silence back on the
case. When international villainess Goldhair seeks to rule the world
through the Bad Luck Eye of Moroboshi, it's up to our intrepid heroes
to stop her, and just maybe not kill each other in the process. Yep,
it's parody time for the much-maligned Outer Senshi, in the second
installment of an ongoing series! =)
{Helen}
Bwahahahahahahahaaa! This was hilarious... cameos left, right, and
center.. and I think that I'll have to rewrite my screen saver to
carry the 'secret passwords' for a certain Odango machine ^_^; In
the tradition of the Avengers and Bond, with the dashing smiles of
the Outer Senshi, the O-Files is on par with some of the better
parody/comedies on the FFML.
- - - - -
Title: Stories of Life-Death at D-Point
Series: Sailor Moon
Genre: Reincarnation
Author: Ajax
Email: breaker@technologist.com
Homepage:
Date Sent to FFML: 24th September
Size: 21 Kb
Summary:
Focusing on Sailors Moon and Venus, this story describes how they went
through the reincarnation process after their battle with Beryl, with
a cameo appearence by Urd.
{Shunsuke}
An interesting take on events after Beryl's defeat, especially for
those who have not seen or cannot get the original episodes or
manga surrounding this story. Characterization and events are well
done, it's the technical stuff that's a problem here.
The *BIG* problem is with the dialogue in the first third of the
story; dialogue spoken by one person is not being identified as
separate from actions described in the same paragraphs. This
makes a large part of this story confusing in regard to *who did
what*. The basic rule is: new person, new paragraph _unless_ you
explicitly identify the speaker or performer. And again, watch
the line lengths. ^_^
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
End of the FFML Reviews List for the week of: September 25, 1998
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