Epilogue 3 - A Vase of Cherry Twigs

 S'io credesse che mia risposta fosse 
 A persona che mai tornasse al mondo, 
 Questa fiamma staria senza piu scosse. 
 Ma perciocche giammai di questo fondo 
 Non torno vivo alcun, s'i'odo il vero, 
 Senza tema d'infamia ti rispondo.
 - Dante

	(The following notes were discovered, tightly rolled and 
compressed, inside a vase of cherry twigs in Saotome Ranma's 
room five weeks after his hospitalization. They were read by 
Tendo Akane, the discoverer, and then turned over to the 
specialists assigned to Saotome. They are presented in as 
close to chronological order as can be determined, and appear 
to be either a form of diary or release of thought.)

---

	I think I like it here. Akane is interesting. I hate Nabiki.

---

	I decided to kill Akane, placed myself in a position to do 
so, and then deliberately did not. My control is steady. It 
scared Akane.

---

	Kuno. Snap. It was fun. Tempting to kill him, and I tested 
my control by almost doing it. Akane fights wonderfully.

---

	I like it here.

---

	Nabiki. Bitch. Catty, interfering, feline bitch.

---

	He's not dead. He's not dead. He's come back. Maybe I'm 
not a killer. Maybe it's okay.

---

	Akane was out with someone. I felt jealous. My control 
has slipped, I felt something I hadn't planned for! Damn her!

---

	He's dead. He killed me in the pit again tonight. Control. 
Akane's hurting it. She touches me, and I feel something, and 
that's not how it's supposed to be. Control. I need control. I'm a 
murderer, but that's okay. Control.

---

	Oh, Nabiki, catty little bitch, you were so scared. I 
wanted to rip off your clothes and use you and snap your neck. I 
didn't. My control held, there. 

	I felt sorry for you, and sick at how much I wanted to 
hurt you. Must work on that area of control. Can't afford pity. 
Can't afford anything but control.

---

	They took my Akane. I'm so scared, the cats have torn me 
to shreds a hundred times, my control is smashing to bits, and 
I can't help it. I can't love her. It's not love. It's 
possessiveness. I need my control back. I need Akane back.

---

	It was Shan. I thought they killed Akane, and it hurt, and 
my control slipped. How can she do this to me, without even 
trying?

---

	I regained some control. She just... she's wonderful. I 
can't afford to have her. My control. This is the ultimate test.

	I will make her mine. I will build her into a martial 
artist to be reckoned with, my hunting hawk, fine and glorious 
and deadly. We will kill our enemies. And then, when they are 
dead, I shall fight her and defeat her. And then I will kill her. 
And then my control will be perfected.

---

	Someone almost killed me and I think it was Nabiki. Silly 
Nabiki.

	Ucchan is back. I wish he weren't. He was clean, clean 
and safe in my mind, back before the pit. Now he'll be 
corrupted, just like everything else. Except Akane. Who I'm 
going to kill. I have to.

---

	Damn Nabiki. I almost lost control. I almost lost control 
and killed her. I wanted to kill her so very badly.

---

	Two. Two losses. I found out, and I followed her, and I 
lost control and pushed her into the street.

	And then I lost control to horror over what I had done, 
and jumped to save her.

	Two. Damn her. Damn her. I hate her. She ripped out my 
eyes in the pit. Akane cried. Damn her.

---

	I love Akane.

---

	I can't love her. I can't. I need control.

---

	Ukyou's a girl. Go figure.

---

	Akane saved me again. I don't want to kill her. That's why 
I have to.

---

	God, she's the most wonderful thing in the world. I love 
her.

---

	Ukyou's gone. Maybe they'll kill me. That would solve 
everything. I don't want to hurt Akane anymore. But I have to. My 
control. I have to. Maybe they'll just kill me.


 I did my best, it wasn't much
 I couldn't feel so I tried to touch
 I've told the truth, I didn't come to fool you
 And even though 
 It all went wrong
 I'll stand before the Lord of Song
 With nothing on my tongue but Hallelujah.
 - Leonard Cohen