Koban Hiryuuno (kobanh@yahoo.com)
"An ounce of perception, a pound of obscure." - Rush
Ninja Mystery Theatre 40K #2:
Sailor Moon vs. Babylon 5 by Morden
[Sailor Moon/Babylon 5 crossover]
w/short Top 10 reasons Why Ghostbusters Beat Ranma by CommanderBreetai
[Ranma/Ghostbusters WWWBoard posting]
Disclaimer:
"Sailor Moon vs. Babylon 5" is the property of Morden, and he's welcome to it.
Sailor Moon is the property of Naoko Takeuchi.
Babylon 5 is the property of J. Michael Straczynski.
"Top 10 Reasons Why Ghostbusters Beat Ranma" is the property of CommanderBreetai, and he's welcome to it.
Ranma 1/2 is the property of Rumiko Takahashi.
Ghostbusters is the property of Columbia Pictures.
The Author Avatars Association is the joint property of Tim McLees and Alicia Ashby, and scenes from it are used with permission.
Koban, Hematite, etc. are my property, and may only be used with my permission.
Mr. Roboto is the property of STYX.
Any references to popular media are the property of their respective owners.
====
(Camera fades from black to a room in Ristole Orbiting Satellite 1. The room is, like the rest of ROS-1, covered in gray panel walls. Koban, ChibiKoban, Koban 9X, and Umbermancer are sitting in a series of metal chairs with their backs to the camera. All of their attention is directed at a large TV with what looks like a wrestling match on it. We can hear the commentary of the match.)
TV: Oscar barely kicks out! He's managed to get away... but still, he's thrown everything he can at Nav, and *nothing's* worked!!
Koban, ChibiKoban, Koban 9X, Umbermancer: Whoo!!!
ChibiKoban: NAV! NAV! NAV!
(Koban notices that a light next to the TV is blinking, and turns around. Instead of his usual ninja suit, he is wearing black jeans and a T-Shirt that says "Wolf-A-Rine." He is startled for half a second when he notices that the camera is on.)
Koban: Oh, hi there! Welcome to Ristole Orbiting Station 1! I suppose you're wondering what we're doing here. Well, shortly after we finished reading "Revenge of Pokemon," Umbermancer discovered that ROS-1 was originally intended to be a spy station. There's enough software and equipment here to monitor radio transmissions, telephone conversations, computer data transfers and televison broadcasts from all over the world simultaneously. So, with the help of Koban 9X, Umbermancer and I have managed to hack into a cable satellite so we can watch AAA matches on TV.
ChibiKoban: Oscar just got his ass whooped by Nav!!!
Umbermancer: Holy crap!! Look what's just showed up!!
(Koban turns around and looks at the TV again. What looks like a black hedgehog has appeared onscreen.)
Koban: Oh shit. It's Dark Sonic!
Dark Sonic(on TV): ENDLESS NIGHT!!!
(A black ki-blast erupts from Dark Sonic's hand and heads straight for what looks like a rodent version of Wolverine. Before it reaches him, a lynx-like humanoid woman shoves him out of the way and takes the blast herself. After a few seconds, she collapses. Everyone, including the crowd in the arena on TV, is silent for almost an entire minute.)
Koban 9X(eventually): She's dead. I can tell.
TV: Guys, Lynxara hasn't even moved...
(Koban stands up, turns off the TV, then turns around and walks out of the room. A few seconds later...)
Koban(OS): GOD DAMN YOU, SONIC!!!!
[Inappropriate commercial break:]
AAA: OTAKUMANIA. FOR PLAYSTATION. BY IRONSIDE MEDIA, A DIVISION OF RISTOLE, INC.
[End inappropriate commercial break]
RISTOLE ORBITAL STATION 1(ROS-1) BRIDGE
(Koban is standing behind the desk. It's obvious that he's been crying. He blows his nose with a kleenex, then tosses it offscreen.)
ChibiKoban(OS): Two points!
Koban: I'm okay now. Just remind me to kill Dark Sonic next time I get off of this satellite.
(The black light lights up black.)
Koban: I wonder what the Legion of Substitute Villains wants now. (presses black button.)
RISTOLE BEHAVIORAL STUDIES(BS) MEETING ROOM
(Hematite is sitting at the head of the meeting table. Ironside and Roboto are at their usual places.)
Hematite(cheerful): Good afternoon, lab rats! You'll never guess what we have in store for you!
ROS-1 BRIDGE
Koban(under his breath): There's nothing I hate more than a chirpy villain. (Out loud) What is it? More crap from N64Surge?
RISTOLE BS MEETING ROOM
Hematite: Not quite! It's a Babylon 5/Sailor Moon crossover!
ROS-1 BRIDGE
(ChibiKoban and Umbermancer have joined Koban on the bridge.)
Koban: Oh my god! Not Sailor Babylon! Anything but that!
RISTOLE BS MEETING ROOM
Hematite: What? No, not even *I*'m that cruel. Besides, Somebody's already working on that as we speak...
(An inhuman scream comes from offscreen.)
Hematite: No, this piece of work is even more insidious. It's called "Babylon 5 vs. Sailor Moon," and it's by none other than Morden himself!
(Ironside mumbles something to Hematite.)
Hematite: Y'mean he's *not* the real Morden? Oh, well... That reminds me, we've also got a short for you. It's by somebody going by the name "CommanderBreetai," it's called "The Top Ten Reasons Why Ghostbusters is Better than Ranma 1/2," and it comes to us from some WWWBoard or other, courtesy of The West Virginian. Send them the slug, Ironside!
(Ironside presses a button in front of him, and it makes a whooshing noise.)
Roboto: How come I haven't gotten any lines yet?
Ironside: What about me? I mean, sure I have a line, but it's not even recognizable!
ROS-1 BRIDGE
(The putrid green light flashes, sirens go off.)
Koban: We've got WWWBoard sign!
(Airlock door opens; Umbermancer, Koban, and ChibiKoban enter.)
----
Anime Amalgam door sequence:
Door 6: Piccolo J'onnz, Namek Manhunter!
Door 5: Project Lo-bo!
Door 4: Iron Spear and Power Tora!
Door 3: Super-Saiyajin!
Door 2: Slayervengers!
Door 1: Justice League Z!
(Umbermancer sits in the left seat, Koban in the middle, ChibiKoban in the right.)
Umbermancer: 9X is flying the station, right?
Koban: Right.
Umbermancer: Just making sure.
Top ten R: why Ghostbusters beat Ranma
Date: 8/12/98
From: CommanderBreetai
Koban: (Imitating Breetai) I can't understand Micronaut humour.
Umbermancer : Uhm, it's Micronian.
Koban: Whatever.
Again, this is only for fun. I am both a diehard
Ghostbusters fan and Ranma fan.
Top ten reasons why the Real Ghostbusters is better
than Ranma 1/2
10. When you throw water on the Ghostbusters, the
just get wet.
Koban: True enough.
9. Peter Venkman's dad may be a swindler but at
least he's not a giant panda or is scared to hide
the truth from his wife.
Umbermancer: Yes, but Venkman also fits Nodoka's perceptions of "manly."
8. Janine screams her head off when she gets mad,
but Akane starts breaking heads.
ChibiKoban(CK): That sounds more like a point *for* Ranma than against it.
7. The demon Tolay (an enemy from the Real
Ghostbusters) would kill Kirin for interfering with
his affairs.
Koban: Uhm, sure.
6. Janine never nailed Egon with a table.
Umbermancer: Are we talking about Akane or Shinobu?
CK: There's a difference?
5. Two words: Proton packs.
Koban: Two words: Moko Takabisha.
4. The Ghostbusters have defeated not one, but TWO
paranormal extradimensional beings. Ranma has fought
a misguided loser, a wooden sword carrying pansy,
and some magician with bad eyesight.
Koban: As well as a Chinese man with magic chopsticks...
Umbermancer: A bad-ass with an embarassing name who turns into a minotaur...
CK: At least one monster out of ancient Japanese legends...
Koban: Need we say more?
3. The Ghostbusters can walk into a hotel, wreck the
dining room, and still get a big fat paycheck! If
Ranma tried something like that, Akane would kick
his ass.
CK: Not to mention Kasumi.
2. None of the Ghostbusters are afraid of cats.
Koban: Yes, but that's not much of a point.
1. The Ghostbusters bust ghosts for a living. Soun
Tendo has no regular source of income, three unwed
daughters, and two freeloading houseguests.
Koban: (imitating Genma) The busting of ghosts is the most sacred duty of a martial artist... go ahead, boy!
Again this is only for fun. I don't hate Ranma 1/2.
But hey, both the Real Ghostbusters and Ranma are
great works of animation so who cares?
Umbermancer: Y'know, he skipped the *real* #1 reason why Ghostbusters is better.
Koban: Which is?
Umbermancer: J. Michael Straczynski has never written an episode of Ranma!
(Koban facefaults; the trio leave the theatre...)
Door sequence in reverse...
----
ROS-1 BRIDGE
(The bridge is darkened. There is an altar on the desk, and a stained-glass window with the AAA logo has been put up in front of the airlock door. Umbermancer is wearing a minister's outfit, and is standing to the left of Koban, who is standing behind the altar.)
Koban(singing): ~...Nor shall my sword sleep in my hand, 'till we have built Jerusalem in England's green and pleasant land.~
(Koban steps to the right, and Umbermancer takes his place.)
Umbermancer: Thank you, Koban. Friends, we are gathered here to day to Mourn the passing of one Alicia "Lynxara" Ashby. She was a good friend, and, as one of the Powers that Be, helped keep the Author Avatar Association from degenerating into a corrupt, ego-driven free-for-all. Does anyone wish to speak on Ms. Ashby's behalf?
Koban: I do.
(Umbermancer and Koban switch places again.)
Koban: When I first heard of the AAA, back in April 1998, I thought, "that's just what we need, another fake wrestling league." But one day, I was watching TV, and something on one of the channels caught my eye. It turns out that it was the now-infamous David Kintobor vs. Sailor Soulstone match, the one which began the Otakumania tournament. I was hooked immediately. I vowed, then and there, to go to every AAA event after that, no matter where it was. I always managed to get seats which were good, but not conspicuous. I saw everything: the transformation of Soulstone, Pippkin's mind-control schemes, the split within Team Foxfire. I knew better than to draw attention to myself with signs, but I did buy a few T-shirts. As a matter of fact, I was on my way home from a AAA event when I was kidnapped by one of Hematite's agents and drugged. But, I degress. At every event, there was always a young woman, seated somewhere in the same section as me. At first I wondered why I always noticed her, but one day, I realized that she was wearing some kind of magical aura to keep people from noticing her. After compiling a mental list of women who would need to avoid notice, I remembered seeing a picture of Ashby in the same magazine that I'd read about the advent of the AAA in. I realized the enormous risk she was taking every time she went there, and admired her for it. She died the best death a person could have, sacrificing herself to save a friend, and I think it ranks alongside the death of John Lennon as one of the world's greatest losses.
(The black light lights up black.)
RISTOLE BS MEETING ROOM
(The meeting room looks like the site of an Irish wake. A banner is strung across the ceiling that reads, "Baibai, Lynx-chan!" in green letters. Hematite and Ironside have mugs of beer, and Roboto has a mug filled with what appears to be motor oil.)
Hematite: C'mon, guys! I said you could have five minutes, and they were up ten minutes ago! Now get back in the theater!
ROS-1 BRIDGE
(The altar and stained-glass window are gone, and Umbermancer is dressed in his usual black robes again. The putrid green light is flashing.)
Koban: We've got fanfic sign!
----
Door sequence again...
(They take their seats, same as last time.)
Koban: I didn't know you were an ordained minister.
Umbermancer: Necromancer(reformed), minister, what's the difference?
Greetings:
Koban: And salutations, I suspect.
Here is chapter one of my awful work. Driven by Malehelion,
ChibiKoban(CK): Who or what is Malehelion?
Koban: The Tenth Muse of Bad Fan-Fiction or something like that.
I was forced to create an EXTREMELY wrong crossover. Please rectify
the situation.
All: (imitating doors from "Hitch-Hiker's Guide") My pleasure!
Further chapters forthcoming.
Koban: Something tells me that we're gonna be in trouble...
Sailor Moon vs. Babylon 5
A fanfic by Morden
CK: Friend of yours, Darkmage?
Umbermancer: I told you before, they aren't *those* shadows! And don't call me "Darkmage!"
Historian's Note: This takes place WAY the heck past Sailor Stars, and
sometime in Season 5 of Babylon 5.
Umbermancer: Oh great, that means that Lockley's gonna screw things up again.
Koban: What's the matter with Lockley?
Umbermancer: She's got no sense of humor, she's too by-the-book, and I have a feeling that she's going to be the first against the wall when the revolution comes.
CK: Still bitter about Claudia Christian leaving, are we?
Umbermancer: You bet.
Chapter 1: Victory and War
Queen Neo-Serenity was on her throne, in the glittering halls of
her palace on the moon. There seemed to be something wrong, however.
With the glitter.
Koban: Raise your hand if you think that those last two sentences should have been made into one.
(ChibiKoban and Umbermancer raise their hands.)
It wasn't something obvious, it was rather difficult to spot in fact.
A court official quickly passing through or a foreign ambassador with
urgent business and pressing things on his mind would catch.
Koban: Catch what? Catch on? Catch a cold?
A casual observer, a tourist, for instance, might notice something
wrong with the general appearance of things, but not understand what it
was until he looked more closely. Then he would see it.
There seemed to be something lost, something that was missing,
there before, but never to be found again. In the inadequate
expression of the English language, the word might be "hollowness," an
insincerity of purpose of a great mission gone astray, a great goal
lost in the ambitions of a one-kind ruler turned corrupt by power.
Koban: What the heck does one-kind mean? Once-kind? One-of-a-kind?
CK: Calm down, man!
Then the observer would note that the hollowness extended beyond the
glitter of the walls. It infused the pillars, the paintings, and much
to an observer's horror, Queen Neo-Serenity herself. She was
beautiful, to be sure, but the beauty of an emerald statue containing
green sludge within. A superficial beauty to hide the beast inside.
CK: I could say something here, but I'd probably get slapped.
Umbermancer: Or get flamed by legions of Usagi fans.
Queen Serenity tapped a few controls on her throne, and a large
hologrammatic, three-dimensional map appeared in the air.
Umbermancer: "Hologrammatic?" Is this supposed to be Red Dwarf or something?
This map represented most of the known universe. A large area was
shaded in blue, that was the New Empire of the Moon, of which Neo-
Serenity was sole ruler. The New Empire of the Moon straddled five
CK: What? Five what? C'mon, tell me!
Koban: Calm down already, it's probably not that exciting.
galaxies.
CK: Oh.
Koban: See, what did I tell you?
Her main opponents, the Shadow/Vorlon Alliance,
Umbermancer: Uhm, I hardly think that the Shadows and the Vorlons were allies. I mean, one doesn't manipulate a third party into destroying one's allies.
encompassed seven galaxies, but the Shadow and Vorlon empires
themselves only encompassed two galaxies, and they only had scattered
allies in other five. In fact, this was not a good time for the
Shadow/Vorlon alliance. Rei was leading a campaign into the Vorlon
Empire, and was doing very well the newly-produced Jovian Juggernaut.
Umbermancer: The author was right, this is *wrong*.
This awesome ship was about the size a small planet, the theory being
that the Juggernaut was so darn big nothing could harm it, given the
proper escort.
Umbermancer: At least, that *was* the theory, before the Juggernaut had to take on a Minbari Heavy Cruiser, a Shadow BattleCrab, a White Star and that dome with a root system at the same time.
Koban: "Dome with a root system?"
Umbermancer: Y'know, the one piloted by the race of First Ones who look like giant stone heads.
Koban: Oooohhh, you mean the Sigma 957 aliens?
Umbermancer: Yeah, those.
The Juggernaut takes out all the stationary bases while Martian
Battleships clean up the cruisers and whatnot. It worked very well.
"Zoom in on Vorlon Empire," Neo-Serenity ordered the computer,
"And show all major battles, color-code by victor." The map zoomed in
on the Vorlon Empire. Fully a third of the Empire was shaded blue.
Blue starbursts appeared all over the map. Many of these were bases
the Juggernaut had destroyed. There was a scattering of purple
starbursts, but not nearly as many as blue ones.
Koban: All in all, the map looked as if Jackson Pollock had decided to use it for a canvas.
Surely the Vorlons knew they could not win the war. Just then the
communications console beeped on her throne. She smiled. She had been
waiting for this. Neo-Serenity tapped the communications console, and
the map vanished, replaced by a Vorlon ruler, or whatever the Vorlons
had.
CK: D'ya think it's a gold Vorlon or a purple one?
Umbermancer: Probably purple.
"You know the conditions of surrender," Neo-Serenity said before
the Vorlon could even begin. "You take apart your government, turn
over all your ships and technology to us, and all of your people become
subjects of the New Empire of the Moon. Do you accept?"
The Vorlon stood there, and emitted an incoherent stream of
mutterings and groans, in the middle of which was one perfectly
comprehensible word. "Yes," it said.
Umbermancer: Whatever else they may be, the Vorlons are not a race that surrenders quickly.
CK: Well, at least the author got the language right.
Neo-Serenity called a meeting of the Solar Council. Unfortunately,
the recent Shadow/Vorlon war had claimed lives of some of the Council
members. All the Outer Senshi, to be exact.
Koban: I hope that includes ChibiMoon, ChibiChibi and all three Starlights.
This upset Neo-Serenity a little.
Umbermancer: But not much.
Koban: (imitating Neo-Serenity) I wanted to kill that pink-haired brat myself!
They were with her since nearly the very beginning, long before even
the re-establishment of the Silver Millenium, (which latter became the
New Empire of the Moon.) Neo-Serenity nodded at Rei, telling her to
begin. Rei stood up. She was the head of the Military Intelligence
Bureau.
CK: She's in charge of the MIB?
Koban: (imitating Rei) Please look into the light...�
Umbermancer: At least she's not running the Men in White.
Her report would include all the data that the Vorlons turned over upon
their surrender. "Map," she ordered. The hologrammatic map descended.
"The Vorlons originated from this galaxy," Rei said, and one galaxy on
the map flashed bright red. "Zoom in on selected galaxy," Rei ordered.
The map complied, and a close-up of the galaxy was shown, with several
red dots scattered throughout. These dots were the main centers of
power in that particular galaxy. "According to the Vorlons, they left
this galaxy, designated Alpha-Gamma 29, a few months ago, when a being
they call Lorien told them that it was time for them to 'go beyond the
rim,' and because of a coalition of all the technologically advanced
races which was to fight them if they remained.
Koban: Yup, the Technocracy had finally decided to put their control over 90% of the galaxy to good use.
These races may or may not have maintained their alliance since then,
but they do not know. I believe that this particular galaxy may pose a
special threat, because according to the intelligence the Vorlons gave
us, this galaxy is more heavily populated than any galaxy we've seen
before. I do not believe they would be sympathetic to the New Empire
of the Moon. They don't like outside forces imposing decisions on
them.
Koban: Forget what I said about the Technocracy, then...
That's why the massive coalition of alien races was raised against the
Shadows and Vorlons. I'll leave it to Makoto to discuss the tactical
aspect of this galaxy."
Makoto, head of the Command and Tactics wing of the Military
Bureau, gave her piece.
CK: I want a piece of Makoto!
Koban: You'll have to wait your turn... (Eyes go wide) Did I just say that?
(Umbermancer and CK nod)
Koban: Dammit, CK, your pervertedness is rubbing off on me!
(Umbermancer chuckles)
"These red dots, as you know, are the main centers of power in this
galaxy. I believe that this galaxy, because of its population density
and technological level are a greater threat than the crippled Shadow
Empire. I don't believe we'll be able to fully destroy the Shadow
Empire for now. Their most recent transmission, send directly to my
flagship on the front lines was 'Even though our allies fall and our
cities burn to the ground, we will never surrender.' I believe that we
should let the Shadow Empire to itself for a while, send a full frontal
(CK opens his mouth...)
Umbermancer: Don't say a word...
surprise assault on this new galaxy, then come back to mop up the
Shadow Empire."
Neo-Serenity nodded and motioned to Ami to give the technology
review.
Koban: Gee, how did I know that Ami's job would have something to do with science?
"It's been a mystery to us how the Shadows and Vorlons were able to
construct so many cities and ships within their empire in such a short
period of time.
Umbermancer: Either the New Empire of the Moon is billions of years old, or the author doesn't know his B5 history.
It turns out they use a type or organic technology to construct their
buildings and ships. Their cities literally build themselves. Their
ships, of course, being much more complicated require the supervision
of a special working crew, but they essentially build themselves too.
Their weapons, computing, and especially constructing technologies are
more advanced than ours. What happened was we won due to sheer
CK: Stockings?
Umbermancer: You're trying too hard, imp.
numbers. We won the production war. At any rate, we are working to
incorporate these technologies into our own systems. Progress, however,
is slow. Anyway, concerning Rei's proposition to attack this galaxy
with a full frontal assault. I believe that it is ill-advised. We do
not know that these races have maintained their coalition.
Umbermancer: I hate coalitions! Coalitions are evil!
Koban: Just because the most vocal coalition is the Christian Coalition... You're right. Coalitions are evil!
An assault of that type would inevitably result in a rebirth of that
alliance, even if it is dead. Due to the population density of this
galaxy, we would have to pay for every cubic foot of space with blood."
CK: It certainly beats having to pay with cash, cheque or credit.
"Granted, very inefficient, but do you have any other ideas, Ami?"
Neo-Serenity asked.
"Of course I do. I wouldn't object if I didn't. I would like to
call to the attention of the Council this particular center of power.
Computer, zoom in on Babylon 5." A large space station came into view.
This was very odd, since centers of power normally occur on planets.
Planets are, after all, much harder to blow up than space stations.
Umbermancer: (sarcastic) Oh, really? I would've thought it'd be easier to blow up a planet.
Koban: Shut up, you bastard.
CK: Just because your planet was destroyed...
"This was the center of the coalition against the Shadows and the
Vorlons," Ami explained. "If the coalition still exists, it's a safe
bet that it's center is on this Babylon 5. If the coalition no longer
exists, then this galaxy is not a threat. I recommend that we send in
three ships. A Mercurian Science Vessel, with which we'll be able to
gather a lot of detailed intelligence before we leave, as well as a
Lunar Cruiser and a Martian Battleship in case we need to punch through
some ships to get back home."
CK: "Punch through?" Is that a TwinBee reference?
Umbermancer: Oh, shut up.
"Sounds good to me," Neo-Serenity said, approving Ami's plan.
"Solar Council dismissed." Minako, who had little to say during the
council meeting because of her position as Minister of Internal
Affairs, stopped Neo-Serenity before she left the council chambers.
"Why do we have to go fight?" She asked. "Shouldn't we send
someone else? Surely someone must see to the Shadow campaign...?"
"We do it this way because it keeps us in the right frame of mind
to further the expansion of the New Empire of the Moon," Neo-Serenity
said. "We always have the feeling that we have a personal stake in
every campaign, every battle, every ship, that defeat is never
acceptable. It keeps the commoners from thinking that we're just
leeches draining away the wealth of the Empire.
Koban: In other words, it's just a scheme to cover up the truth.
Because we're the only ones with the skill and the strength to do these
types of missions." She started to walk away, but stopped. "And
also," she added. "It's because that's the way we've always done it.
Ever since our first battles with Queen Beryl, it's the way these
things have been done." Neo-Serenity left to order the preparation of
the Lunar Cruiser. Rei and Ami would take care of their ships.
The next day, Neo-Serenity hand-picked her crew for the Imperial
Flag Ship Moolight.
CK: Hand-picked for freshness!
The IFS Moonlight was the first Lunar Cruiser ever built. It should
have been decommissioned a long time ago, but Neo-Serenity had ordered
it refitted dozens of times just for the sake of sentimentality.
Koban: So you're saying that the Moonlight was essentially this universe's version of the Enterprise?
Umbermancer: That's how it looks.
CK: Let's just hope that there are no crew members named "Marissa" here...
The first position she assigned was to Endymityon,
Koban(goes postal): Endymityon? ENDYMITYON?!? WHAT THE HELL'S UP WITH THAT?
CK: You okay, buddy?
Koban: WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THIS PERSON THAT THEY CAN'T EVEN SPELL "ENDYMION" RIGHT!?!?!?
Umbermancer: Don't talk to him when he's this state. Just keep going.
CK: I wonder if he's related to Indemnity?
who was always weapons/navigation. She then went through the rest of
the bridge crew, then all the way down to the mechanics in Engineering.
She needed the best and the brightest of her subjects if there might be
a fight so far away from reinforcements. She met Endymityon and her
Koban: (muttering) I don't believe this...
CK: We'd better get him outta here.
Umbermancer: Don't worry, I have a feeling that the 'fic is almost over.
crew on the docking bay. They all saluted. "I'm glad you chose me to
join you," Endymityon said, smiling. Neo-Serenity walked up and kissed
him.
"I could never imagine going into battle without you, love."
Endymityon smiled and saluted again.
Endymityon ordered the crew to go on board and take up their
stations, since they would be leaving within the hour.
When Neo-Serenity took the Captain's chair, she smiled inwardly.
CK: "Thy Inward Smile," by Richard Lawson.
Umbermancer: Watch out, you might end up summoning the Demon Under the FFML.
It was a long time since she actually commanded a starship.
CK: (singing) ~It's been such a long time, I think I should be going...~
Umbermancer: (holding his ears and grimacing) If you ever sing again, I'm going to physically tear out your vocal cords and use them as violins.
That pleasure was usually reserved for Rei and Makoto.
"Take us off the ground," Neo-Serenity ordered. "And
engage Skimming Drive as soon as we rendezvous with
the Aristotle and the Achilles."
CK: What the hell is Skimming Drive?
Umbermancer: I dunno. Maybe it's like skimming stones or something.
Koban: (coming around) Maybe it runs on skim milk.
CK & Umbermancer: (look at each other out of the corners of their eyes) Ooohhhkaaaay...
CK: Maybe I should call the Men in White.
Neo-Serenity knew the ships Ami and Rei would choose because they were
old favorites refitted dozens of times themselves, just as the IFS
Moonlight was. A few hours later, Endymityon reported their status.
"We have met with both the Aristotle and the Achilles."
"Good. Set Skimming Drive for galaxy Alpha-Gamma 29. Engage."
Umbermancer: "Engage?" Well, *there's* an original line if I ever heard one.
Koban: C'mon, let's get outta here...
(ChibiKoban, followed by Koban and Umbermancer, exits the theatre.)
Door sequence in reverse...
----
ROS-1 BRIDGE
(Koban is sitting behind the desk, head in hands. To his right is ChibiKoban, to his left is Umbermancer. Koban shakes his head.)
Koban: I don't ask for much. Just correct spelling of proper names.
CK: And following grammar rules.
Umbermancer: And consistent captilization.
Koban: (Looks up) You guys aren't helping. What I'm trying to say is, "is it too much to ask for people to spell characters' names right?" I mean, if it's not "Endymition" in this story, it's Miko calling Hiroshi "Hitoshi" in "Monkey Head Butting."
Umbermancer: But you have to admit, that story was a lot better than this one.
CK: Is this conversation going anywhere?
Koban: Not really. I wonder how 9X is doing?
(Koban 9X enters the room just then.)
Koban: Well, speak of the--anyway, I'm glad you haven't tried to send us plummeting through the Earth's upper atmosphere.
Koban 9X(K9X): Hey, just because I'm a cold-hearted, remorseless killing machine doesn't mean I don't know how to pilot a space station.
(The Black Light lights up black.)
Koban: Anyway, it looks like The Man Who Sold the World is calling.
RISTOLE BS MEETING ROOM
(Hematite, Ironside and Roboto are sitting at the conference table. Hematite is looking over some sort of list, and Ironside and Roboto are tapping buttons on the mini-keyboards in front of them. Hematite looks at his watch, then puts the list aside.)
Hematite: Okay, kids, break's over! Time to get back to some semblance of actual work.
Ironside: But, my Bulbasaur was about to kill his Raichu!
Hematite: Look, you can play Pokemon later! (Notices that the camera is on) Greetings, Meowth! I trust you had an unpleasant time?
ROS-1 BRIDGE
Koban: If you call me that again, I'm going to come down there somehow and kill you!
Umbermancer: It wasn't too bad, once you get past the idea that Serenity is the ruthless head of an intergalactic empire.
CK: And the fact that Endymion was spelled "Endymition."
Koban: Don't remind me.
RISTOLE BS MEETING ROOM
Hematite: That's nice. Let's see... I've got two 'fics on my list, and I can't decide which to send you first. Which do you like better: Sailor Moon or Final Fantasy 7?
ROS-1 BRIDGE
(Koban, ChibiKoban, Koban 9X and Umbermancer are huddled together, whispering. ChibiKoban sticks his head up and looks around, like in a cartoon. Soon, the huddle breaks.)
Koban: Our answer is "Sailor Moon."
RISTOLE BS MEETING ROOM
Hematite: Okay, that means that the next story I'll be sending you is "Teenage Wasteland" by Marco de la Cruz. So, be sure to wake up bright and early tommorrow, or I'll jettison your rooms!
(Hematite presses a button on the mini-keyboard in front of him. Screen goes black.)
Ironside: CRAP! The emulator crashed!
Roboto: (chuckles) I hope you remembered to save...
Ironside: NOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!
-THE END-
====
Author's notes:
Well, I'm glad that my second MSTing is finally finished. I'm actually slightly ahead of schedule. I *might* be able to finish my next MSTing before October 24th, 1998, but if not, it may be a while before it gets posted, as I'll be moving on the 26th, which is, incidentally, the day after my birthday(I'll be 19, if you're interested.).
C&C, as always is appreciated, if not required. Send me C&C, and I'll send you an advance copy of my next work!
Shinji's Vault of Anime MSTings
http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Temple/4007/MSTings.html
(Home of the MSTings of many talented authors, including myself, as well as the Author Avatar Association.)
N64 Surge
http://n64surge.simplenet.com
(One of the best sources of information on the N64, as well as bizzarre editorials and the best fake news this side of the Daily Show.)
The first position she assigned was to Endymityon, who was always
weapons/navigation.
