First off, could Mr. Geiger please repost the above fiction. 
The formating was bad on the original post, so I had to download
this from the TSY website.

Lufy stared out at the fading explosion.  "You couldn't've stayed 
anyway, could you?" she whispered, powering back as she swung around to 
rejoin her friends.  "Too many sins that had to be paid for, Cassur?  
I'm so sorry for you.  *Neka do hagh wae ronghki wae joghza va*..."

   It was more like the Cassur and his brother were backed into the 
no-win situation, and played it to the best of their ability.   

Many races have their battle hymns.  Songs before battle to boost 
their courage, songs that were little more then curses as they clashed 
with their foes and songs to celebrate victory and to mourn the deaths 
of their comrades afterwards.

Few however, had the Death Hymn.

It wasn't some mere defiance of death, or even one that welcomed 
it.  It was acknowledging that one is going to die no matter what and 
thus the single most important thing one could do was to fill those last 
few moments with living.  Whether it was a final session of lovemaking 
or to fight with every ounce of skill one had, it didn't really matter.
 

   The two sections of the last sentence don't agree.  It would be better
phrased as "Whether it was a final session of lovemaking or fighting with
every ounce of skill one had, it didn't really matter."

To lie down and die while singing it bordered on blasphemy and to 
recklessly throw your life away was stupidity.

It was to be...who you are.

Orinsur arced his Gladiator up and seemed to hover in space.  He 
looked out the cockpit window and saw the Earth below him and the 
vastness of space above.  All around, twenty Gladiators and the 
"Kiboo'cha" were bearing down on him.  "Trapped between Heaven and 
earth," Orinsur mused.  "I guess I've done all I can."

He then turned the Gladiator towards Pathfinder Troop Six's 
command ship and kicked in the boosters.  The Gladiator leapt towards 
her and into her erupting weapons...

   Here then is the completion of the theme of this story, the warrior
in the no-win situation fighting to the last, the mission complete 
despite the last battle.  It was alreadly finished!

Eluza nodded.  "You did wonderful.  People are saying you deserve 
a medal.  I'm recommending you for the Order of Lyna."

   the word "wonderful" should be "wonderfully".  The word there
is an adverb, not an adjective.

Lufy smiled.  The Order was Sagussa's highest award for bravery.  
"I guess I do.  I saved the ones I care about."

Nodding, the shipmistress left.  Lufy returned her gaze to the 
stars.  *Could of there been one more?*

   Perhaps the next section of the story, with the two brothers 
sharing a drink in the afterworld, is unnecessary.  The story is
quite complete at this point.
   Of course this means that the battlefield recognition of Cassur
before his death may not need to be there as well.  
   
   Aside of the critisms, this actually was a well told story.  It
kind of reminded me of the movie "Things to Do In Denver When You're
Dead" because of the idea of living the last days before a death
sentence (be it one handed down by a Mob Boss, or by the Vosian 
Government) as best one can.  Of life lived as only the damned can
live it.

Steven P. Cornett
cornett@gemair.com