On Sun, 27 Sep 1998, David H. Siegel wrote:

Really an excellent work, very interesting and enjoyable, except for a
few problems:
	Much of the dialogue seems a bit forced. You might wish to rewrite some
of it, as it also has a bit of a repetitive feel to it.

Examples?  It doesn't seem forced to me, but I wrote it :)  

	The writing didn't really have a good "feel" to it. I could tell that a
style between meant to be evocative of Eva and one meant to be evocative
of HP himself, but it comes out almost muddled. A possible solution
would be to alter your words to be more Lovecraftian (Cyclopean, more
descriptions of how foul things are using adjectives instead of
metaphor, obscure words, etc.) and your style to be more Evaish (Terse
mixed with verbose, etc.)

While I wish I could write like Lovecraft, I can plot like Lovecraft
better than I can describe like him.  It's not a matter of disagreeing
with your assessment so much as not being sure of my own ability to
actually FOLLOW it :)

But we'll see what we can do for the revision and future chapters.
 > > 

I'm going to assume that the Necronomicon replaces the DSS and that it
wasn't Adam found in Antartica (Convenient, that)

Think about Lovecraft stories set in Antarctica :)

John Walter Biles :  MA-History, Ph.D Wannabe at U. Kansas         
ranma@falcon.cc.ukans.edu       
rhea@tass.org              http://www.tass.org/~rhea/falcon.html
rhea@maison-otaku.net      http://www.maison-otaku.net/~rhea/

"Logic, my dear Zoe, merely enables one to be wrong with authority."
--Dr. Who, "The Wheel in Space" (Serial 43, fifth season)