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Begin Include
"A Hell of a Life"
by Shaule Sachs
= - = Part 3 = - =
= - = - = - = - = - = - = - = - = - = - = - = - = - = - = - = - = - =
Version 0.3
Author Notes:
(1) Working title of "A Hell of a Life" suggested by Louis-Philippe
Giroux.
(2) This is a MEGA crossover, in that there are elements from other
series, both American television, anime, and comics, involved in this
story. To name a few, "Kung Fu: The Legend Continues", "Wonder Woman",
"Bubblegum Crisis", "Dr. Strange", and "Kung Fu: The Original Series".
Appendices will added to help people with non-anime/manga characters...
(3) Chronological Note: The time frame for this fic is tentatively
after Japanese Volume 22, part 2, where the character of "Nodoka
Saotome" is introduced for the first time. It's "tentatively" because
I only have the Viz Graphic Novels up to Volume Eleven, although I
have gone to the Ranma 1/2 FAQ, and downloaded a copy of all the manga
summaries...
(4) Font key:
- Italics will between two '//' and denote thoughts.
- Bold will between '*' and denote emphasis.
- Translated languages will between '<<'s and '>>'s otherwise
everything is to be considered to be in native
speaker's language (ie Japanese)
- Author notes and Footnotes are between '['s and ']'s.
= - = - = - = - = - = - = - = - = - = - = - = - = - = - = - = - = - =
Within a universe, the Flow of Time moves on no matter what
happens. And yet, there are areas that seem as if Time had never
touched them. One such magical place was a little park, just outside
of Tokyo. The tourists and the natives, both, came to this park on a
regular basis. Each person left with the feeling that the park was
blessed or had some special favor with one of the kami... If you
asked anyone, they would have said that it was a 'magical place.' And
on this night, it truly was.
The first sign that something different was going to happen was
the appearance of a blue circle that was two meters tall. It seemed to
swirl from the center outward like a reversed whirlpool. The odd
thing about the circle was one could only see it as one stared
directly at it. If you looked from behind or the sides you wouldn't
see it. The circle continued to swirl for a few moments, as if waiting
for something.
A hand reached out from the swirling energy followed by an arm
attached to a man. The man, human, five feet, nine inches tall, black
hair in a pony-tail, looked around. His blue eyes seemed wary and
tired, yet, he moved like a dancer... with grace, pose, and ease. His
eyes took in everything, missing nothing. He seemed to taste the very
air and he smiled. His waved his right hand at the circle and it
shrank until it was a mere dot, after which it simply vanished. With
one last look around, the man sat down to meditate and wait for the
dawn.
The dawn came and with it various people began to enter the park.
A young American girl noticed a man was sitting on the grass in a
weird position. Curious, she went over and asked in English,
<<"Whacha' doing, Mister?">>
The man answered her in English, <<"I'm mediating.">>
<<"Why?">> the toddler asked.
<<"Ah, that is a good question,">> the man answered. <<"I mediate
to relax... to think... to ponder...">>
<<"Why?">> the toddler asked again.
The man simply shrugged his shoulders and smiled at the girl.
<<"Mindy!">> an older woman called to the child. She was
obviously the child's mother. She apologized to the man as she picked
up her daughter.
As Mindy was leaving she said to the man, <<"Okay. I love you.
Bye-Bye.">>
The man smiled.
After watching Mindy and her mother leave the park, the man got
up, brushed his clothes, straightened the large pouch he was carrying on
his side, and walked towards Nerima.
As the man walked through the city, he smiled and said hello to
the various people he passed. Although busy, most people would return
the man's warm and friendly greetings and then continued what they
were doing, feeling slightly better about themselves afterwards.
As the man got closer to Nerima, the man's smile grew until he
was just outside the gates of Furinkan High School. Hesitating only
for a millisecond, the man walked into Furinkan High's school yard.
The various students who were waiting for the bell stopped talking as
the man walked in. Each and every one looked like they've seen a
ghost. The man smiled and continued on.
"SAOTOME!" Kuno screamed as he charged the man. "You *dare* to
show your face..."
The student body blinked and Kuno was face-first in the dirt,
knocked-out.
One moment Kuno was charging and screaming and then next... he
was unconscious on the ground face down. Everyone was amazed and
in shock. For a few moments, Furinkan High School was absolutely quiet,
only the sounding of the school bell brought the students back to
life as they ran to their homerooms.
Ranma sighed and continued on his way. He had only defend himself
when he realized that Kuno was going to try to harm him. //Saotome, he
called me,// the thought flashed through his mind. //Am I Ranma
Saotome? Or just Ranma, as I call myself now. Does it matter?//
As the thought went around in his head, he arrived upon his
destination. He couldn't help but feel slightly betrayed by the
World.... After everything that had happened to him, the World could
have at least changed his homeroom slightly... But no, once more the
World proved that It didn't care about Ranma by leaving the room
exactly as he last saw it so many years ago... Still he was there...
why he wasn't sure.... So he simply shrugged, sat down in his seat,
and closed his eyes to mediate.
He felt each person's ki as he or she entered the room and sat
down at their assigned seat. He smiled slightly as he noted Akane
entered the room and sat behind him. It was then that he realized that
he had made himself blend into the background causing most people not
to notice him. He had done it simply out of habit.... A habit that had
saved his life a number of times.
It shouldn't have, but Ranma got a small thrill as everyone
gasped when he said 'present' when his name was called for attendance.
Without looking he could tell that everyone was surprised to see him.
He could feel Akane's glare on his back as well as the look of
wonderment on Ucchan's face.
Class went on as normal. During the breaks between subjects,
various students tried to ask him questions but Ranma simply gave them
all a 'look' that made them return to their seats.
Before English Class, with only a small amount of anger in her
voice Akane asked quietly, "Where have you *been* for the last month?"
"A month?!?!?" Ranma exclaimed quietly as he turned to face
Akane. "I've been gone only for a *month*?!?!?"
A number of students, including Ukyou, turned and looked at Ranma
wondering about his statement that he had only been gone a month.
//Maybe less time as pass for Ranchan,// Ukyou hoped.
All the students leaned in their seats to try to hear what Ranma
and Akane were talking about but they couldn't. Surprisingly,
although they see Akane and Ranma's mouths were moving, no one could
hear anything. It was if they were watching a television show without
any sound.
Slightly worried Akane replied, "Yes! So where have you *been*?"
Ranma laughed and answered, "Hell.... Heaven.... and a number of
universes inbetween..."
"Nani?!?!?" exclaimed Akane.
Ranma began with, "After fighting George..."
"Who's George?" Akane interrupted.
"George was the Oni that brought Happosai-sensei and I to Hell,"
Ranma calmly answered. "George lead us to the Demoness Abere, who had
cursed Happosai-sensei into becoming the pervert we knew. There we
fought her for six months after which we spent our time trying to get
back..."
As Ranma was talking, Hina-chan-sensei skipped into the room,
looked at the clock, and called the class to begin. Giving up on
trying to overhear Ranma and Akane conversion, the class (minus Ranma
and Akane) sat forward, brought their English books out, and awaited
for Hinako-sensei to begin the day's assignment.
Seeing that Ranma wasn't paying an attention to her,
Hina-chan-sensei tried to get his attention by saying, "Saotome!"
After spending a few moments trying to get Ranma's attention,
Hina-chan-sensei took out a five yen coin and said, "Happo Goju-en
Satsu."
The class watched as Hina-chan-sensei began to suck the ki out of
Ranma.... Even after few moments Ranma didn't seem to be affected. In
fact, his ki seemed to change color from the normal blue to a
brilliant white. A grayish-color glow began to envelop
Hina-chan-sensei. As she became an adult, a glow began to surround her
completely all the while Ranma continued to talk to Akane. As the glow
moved from a light bluish color to an off-white, the bell rang
signaling the beginning of class. When the bell stopped ringing,
Hinako-sensei stopped glowing. At which point, Ranma turned around,
got his English book out of his desk, and said in English, <<"Shall we
begin?">>
Hinako-sensei shook her head slightly as if to clear it, then
nodded at Ranma saying, "Hai.... Today we will look at page
eighty-six..."
As English class went on, the class watched Hinako-sensei to see
when she would change back into her child-form, only she didn't change
for the entire class period. Even more surprising, Ranma actually
participated in the class, mostly though to correct Hinako-sensei, who
still was slightly dazed, accepted his corrections.
When the class period was over, Hinako-sensei walked out of the
classroom in such a way that it was obvious she was avoiding Ranma.
The rest of the morning went uneventful.
At lunch, Ranma and Akane sat under a tree. They sat quietly as
Akane ate her lunch.
After almost finishing her lunch, Akane noted that Ranma didn't
seem to have anything with him to eat. Just as she was about to
offer what remained of her lunch, Ranma asked, "Would you like an
orange?"
"Huh?" Akane asked puzzled.
From his pouch Ranma took a large orange out, peeled it, and
handed half to Akane saying, "They're good..."
And he was right, the orange Ranma gave her was the sweetest,
juiciest orange she ever had. It was larger than any orange Akane had
seen before. Most oranges she had previously were only the size of a
tennis ball, but the orange Ranma handed to her was the size of a
large softball. After swiping the juices from her face with the napkin
Ranma gave her Akane asked, "Ranma? Where did you get the orange?"
"An old friend of mine once quoted to me an adage he had learn
from an old friend of his... 'Things are never so bad if you have an
orange on hand,'" Ranma replied absently.
Curious, Akane asked, "An old friend?"
"His name was Pug[RW]," Ranma answered. "I met him in my
Travels..."
Akane could hear the capital 'T' and wondered how long it took
Ranma to return...
Akane was startled when Ranma began to answer her question that
she didn't realized she had asked out loud with, "Whose to say? There
is no Flow of Time between the Worlds and each Realm has it's own
Flow... And as I told you, I've been to a number of Realms..."
The rest of the school day went uneventful until World History
class. The class had an exam that day. Although he had missed the last
month worth of class, Ranma didn't complain about taking the test much
to the surprise of everyone. Equally surprising, Ranma was the first
to finish the exam. At which point he closed his eyes and sat still
for the remaining of the period. To which both Ukyou and Akane wore
worried expressions on their faces...
Both Ukyou and Akane had the same incredible thought, //Ranma!
Sitting still for more than a minute?!?!?!//
After World History class, things went as they usually did.
Except when the instructor called on Ranma... No matter what question
was asked, Ranma had an answer, sometimes vague and sometimes very
detailed, not once did he give his 'usual' answer of 'Huh' or 'I don't
know.'
When the final bell of the day rang, Ranma was the first person
out the door. Both Akane and Ukyou were miffed at Ranma's
disappearance until they both noticed that there was note laying on
each of their desks. Each note had their respective names on it in a
perfectly stylized Kanji... too perfect for Ranma's sloppy handwriting
that they knew and yet... it was obviously Ranma's handwriting.
Akane's note said that Ranma had to do something and then he
would meet her at home. It was signed 'Love, Ranma."
Something in Akane's heart melted...
= - = - = - = - =
Nabiki was puzzled and she didn't like that. The school gossip
said that Ranma was back. Not only was he back but he had defeated
Kuno so fast, no one knew how he had done it.
Usually, after one of Kuno's defeats, he would skulk for the rest
of the day vowed vengeance on 'that evil sorcerer Saotome.' But today,
he was positively beaming with joy. Unlike his usual rude remarks to
his fellow students, Kuno was being pleasant to everyone. When she
asked why he was so happy, Kuno started to say something but then
uncharacteristically he would close his mouth without saying anything
and he would dramatically hold his heart in his hands. No matter what
she did, Kuno wouldn't tell her what was going on.
Curious, Nabiki followed Kuno around school. During lunch, she
realized that some point previously, Kuno had gotten a note. When he
could have gotten it, she didn't know. She had been watching him since
homeroom and no one had approached him during that time. More
importantly, despite her best efforts, she couldn't find out what was
written in the note. Kuno guarded it too well.
When the final bell rang, she followed Kuno to the clearing in
the trees near the school, With a start, she realized it was the same
clearing that Kuno had first met his 'Tree-Borne Kettle-Girl,' also
known as his 'Pigtail Goddess,' and known to everyone but Kuno, Ranma
Saotome.
As if the thought had summoned her, onna-Ranma came walking into
the clearing. As Nabiki looked on she noticed there were some changes
in Ranma aside from the fact that he was in his cursed form. Gone was
the pigtail that was Ranma's trademark. onna-Ranma's hair was long,
flowing and obviously styled. There was a 'sway' to onna-Ranma's
walked. Onna-Ranma was wearing a dress, a peasant's dress with dirt
stains, but a dress nonetheless. If Nabiki didn't know better, she
would have swore onna-Ranma was a real young woman and always had
been.
Kuno rushed to onna-Ranma and hugged her. To Nabiki's surprise
onna-Ranma melted into Kuno's brace. So shocked was she that she
almost missed Kuno speech about how he had awaited this day. Kuno
concluded with, "Now, you're free, my pigtail goddess."
Onna-Ranma laughed. She stopped laughing suddenly and her
features took on a very serious expression. In a formal voice, she
said, "Yes... I'm free now. Therefore I must warn you, Kuno-kizoku."
"Warn me?" Kuno asked confused. It was only now that he noticed
the peasant dress on onna-Ranma. Upon seeing it, he took an
unconscious step back.
"Yes, warn you," onna-Ranma repeated.
"About what?" Kuno asked bewildered.
"See! It is as I feared," onna-Ranma answered.
When Kuno didn't say anything, onna-Ranma continued sadly, "You
don't understand...."
Kuno shouted, "Understand what?"
In a low voice onna-Ranma said, "That we can *never* be
together..."
"Nani!?!?" Kuno cried.
"You must think of your Family!" onna-Ranma replied. "You must
think of your Honor!"
"What about my family?" Kuno asked puzzled.
Onna-Ranma sighed and said, "Are you not, Tatewaki of the *House*
Kuno.... Are you not, Kuno, the *Blue Thunder* of Furinkan High?"
Both Nabiki and Kuno were puzzled as to where onna-Ranma was
going. Confused Kuno replied, "Yes..."
"And what of *I*?" onna-Ranma asked. "I'm simply Ranko Tendo... I
have *no* House. I have *no* title..."
Frustrated onna-Ranma sighed again and asked, "Don't you *see*?"
Nabiki was shocked. She saw where Ranma was going now and wished
she thought of it. She also noted that Kuno was beginning to get an
idea where Ranma was heading but he seemed to refuse to believe it.
In a gentle voice, onna-Ranma said, "You're nobility... I'm
nothing. You cannot marry *below* your *station*."
"But I love..." Kuno began but onna-Ranma interrupted him with,
"Love... Is a good thing. But it doesn't pay the bill when your father
*disowns* you. When society *rejects* you. To marry me, will
*disgrace* your *family*. Can you truly *inflict* such a *scandal* on
your *family name*... Will you *dishonor* your *ancestors* in such a
matter?"
"But..." Kuno kept repeating as he took another step away.
"Yes, the World is not *fair*," onna-Ranma continued on. "If it
was fair... where's the *challenge*? We must *overcome* our
*temptation*. We must *rise* above ourselves and *honor* our
ancestors."
"But..." Kuno repeated his mantra even as he took yet another
step away from onna-Ranma.
"No, we must be *strong* and *fight* our temptation," onna-Ranma
said. "I'm sorry to lead you on, but what choice had I? Now that I'm
free I can tell you the truth of the Sorcerer's plan to destroy you
and your family. But we *won't* let Him destroy such a *noble* House
as the *House* Kuno, shall we."
Filled with despair Kuno sighed and said, "No! You are right...
The spells that evil Sorcerer Sao--"
"Don't say *his* name," onna-Ranma implored. "Don't invoke *his*
name.... He will Hear and come for me..."
"But I'll protect you," Kuno began.
Onna-Ranma just snorted and said sarcastically, "Like you've done in
the past?"
In a more gentle voice, onna-Ranma continued, "No... It is best
if you forget all about me... and the Sorcerer. You must go on with
your *life*. Haven't you heard, the best revenge is to live the best.
No matter what, *he* will remain a mere *sorcerer*... But *you*! *You*
are of noble blood. You will go *on* and fulfill your *noble* purpose.
Go! You must *go on*... All I ask is that you think of me fondly."
With that Kuno turned and walked away. Once he was out of
ear-shot onna-Ranma laughed and said, "What a sap."
Looking towards Nabiki's hiding place she said, "You can come out
now, Nabiki."
Startled, Nabiki fell from the tree she was hiding behind. Dazed,
she walked over to onna-Ranma, who was lifting her dress over head
revealing the red Chinese outfit that Ranma normally wore. After
removing the dress, onna-Ranma gently folded the dress and placed it
within a large pouch she was wearing on her side.
Nabiki had a thousand questions she wished to ask onna-Ranma but
she was unable to voice them due to shock. What's more, she looked
away only for a few moments but when she turned back towards Ranma,
onna-Ranma was now male and he had one of his rare smiles on his face.
It was the type of smile that made even Nabiki's knees weak.
Ranma saved her from fainted by taking her arm and asked, "Shall
we go?"
The journey home was a quiet one.
= - = - = - = - =
"I'm home!" Akane said happily as she walked in.
Kasumi noted the smile on Akane's face and felt herself reflect
that smile back at Akane. She knew, if she was patient enough, Akane
would tell her why she was so happy.
Kasumi didn't have to wait long, Akane burst out, "Ranma's back!"
"That's nice, dear," Kasumi said motherly.
"To celebrate... I'm going to make Ranma dinner," Akane said
proudly.
"Ummm," Kasumi began, not knowing how best to put it. Kasumi
sighed and continued, "Let me help you..."
"I can do *it*," Akane replied defensively.
Wisely Kasumi said, "Yes, dear, but dinner is only a few hours
away... If I help, it'll take only half the time...."
Somewhat understanding, Akane agreed.
"I'm home," Nabiki stated as she and Ranma walked through the
door. Upon seeing that there was no one to greet them, Nabiki asked
rhetorically, "Where is everyone?"
Ranma answered, "Kasumi and Akane are in the kitchen and your
father is with my parents."
Ranma had answered with such conviction that, although she had
been with Ranma since they left the school grounds, she believed him.
besides, knowing where everyone was, was a small thing after the
performance she just saw.
"I'll be in the Dojo until dinner," Ranma said as he headed
there. Nabiki headed to her room.
Hesitantly, Akane entered Nabiki's room. She saw her sister at
her desk looking over some book. Nabiki was muttering something too
softly for her to hear.
Although she wondered what Nabiki was saying, she interrupted her
sister by asking, "Where's Ranma?"
Nabiki's eye blinked and she had a lost look on her face. After
shaking her head, Nabiki replied, "Oh... He's in the Dojo."
"Thanks," Akane said as she headed there. On her way out, she
thought she heard Nabiki sigh and ask, "How did he do that?"
As Akane entered the Dojo she saw Ranma performing some kind of
kata. Or, at least, she thought it was a kata. There didn't seem to be
a pattern to it. As always, Ranma made the martial arts look both easy
and graceful. Akane could have stayed there watching Ranma all day
long, in fact she had stood still for the last twenty minutes, but she
could dimly hear her sisters wondering where Akane and Ranma were so
she said, "Ranma... Dinner's ready."
"Okay," Ranma replied. "I'll be right there.... Have to wash up."
"Okay," Akane responded. She turned around and headed back to the
dining room.
Both Kasumi and Nabiki were already seated at the table. Upon
seeing Akane but not Ranma, Kasumi asked, "Where's Ranma?"
With a slight surprise in her voice, Akane answered, "He's
washing up...."
"Ranma? Washing without being told to?" Nabiki asked in wonder.
Looking pointy at Akane, she asked, "Are you sure this is *our*
Ranma?"
Akane bit her lip, shrugged, and told her sisters about everything
that happened in school.
"That doesn't sound like Ranma," Nabiki began.
Kasumi responded with, "Sounds like he's finally matured. Being
in Hell does that to a person..."
Both Akane and Nabiki looked startled at Kasumi. But before
either could pursue Kasumi's statement, Ranma came in and sat down
next to Akane.
As Kasumi served everyone, Nabiki couldn't help but stare at the
food. One look at it and she knew her younger sister had helped in
cooking it. She could tell by the unnatural colonization of the
meal...
Akane waited patiently (at least for her) for Ranma to taste her
meal. After fifteen seconds (a new record), she demanded, "Well?"
Without hesitation, Ranma used the chop sticks to pick a small
piece of something no longer identifiable and placed it in his mouth.
He chewed it for a few moments, paused, and chewed it some more.
Angrily Akane shouted, "Ranma!"
Ranma paused a moment and said, "Well..."
Akane leaned closer to Ranma.
"It's better than I remember...." Ranma said.
Akane began, "Ran--"
"I suppose now would be as good a time as any for presents,"
Ranma said before Akane could continue.
"Presents?" both Akane and Nabiki asked.
Nodding, Ranma said, "Yep... I had some time while I was in some
of the Worlds I had been to.... When I saw these items I just had to
get them for you all..."
Reaching into his pouch, Ranma pulled something out and
handed it to Kasumi saying, "For you...."
Kasumi stared at the object Ranma had just handed to her. She
thought the object was made of crystal, but she didn't think crystal
came in that many shades of red. The oval base resembled a bird's
nest. With a start, she realized that the nest was on fire. Whoever
the artist was, this masterpiece had somehow captured the flames as
they seemed to leap out of the nest. The largest flame, located in the
center, shooting straight up, seemed to change into a bird with its
wing expanded as if it was launching itself into the air.
So intent was Kasumi on the art work, Ranma's voice startled her
as he said, "It's a phoenix rising from its pyre of flames."
Kasumi could only nod and said, "Thank you."
Taking the art work, Kasumi headed to her room with a tear in her
eye.
Nabiki and Akane watched their older sister leave, Nabiki became
nervous. She turned to Ranma who was giving her something. It was a
statuette of a dragon on a hill of some kind. The hill, upon closer
inspection, was made up of various colored pebbles. With a start, she
realized that the red pebbles were rubies, the white ones were
diamonds, the gold ones were gold coins, the blue ones were sapphires,
and many other precious gems. She had to wonder how the artist got
such detail into the statuette that fit into her hand and was only
fifteen centimeters tall. As she headed for her room, Nabiki held the
statuette to heart.
Akane watched her older sister, Nabiki, walk away with her gift.
Akane saw the tear in Kasumi's eye too and wondered where it had come
from... Nor did she understand why Ranma gave a sculpture of a phoenix
to Kasumi. She thought she understood why the statuette of a female
dragon sitting on her horde reminded him of Nabiki but she didn't
think it made such as good gift as Nabiki seemed to think. She waited
patiently as Ranma watched Kasumi and Nabiki's departure.
After a few moments, Akane demanded, "Where's my present?"
"Huh?" Ranma asked confused.
"Baka!" Akane screamed. "You gave my sisters... something, but
you don't have anything for *me*?"
Ranma's response was simply a frown on his face. Sighing, he
reached into his pouch, handed Akane a statuette and a gift-wrapped
book, and walked away.
The statuette was a tigress with her front, left paw out as if
striking something. As Akane unwrapped the book her eyes narrowed.
The title of the book was 'Seeko's Guide to Cooking for the Culinary
Challenged.'
[=== End Part 3 ===]
[=== Glossary ===]
Baka == "Idiot", "Stupid"
-chan == "little" (when added to a name it is a sign of
afflection, usually used only with children and
girls)
Dojo == A training hall
Iinazuke == Fiancee
Kami == A god
Kami-sama == Head god
Kanabo == A large spiked iron bar
Kanji == Chinese characters used in Japanese writing
Kata == Form (martial arts)
Ki == Spirit; soul; life force
-kizoku == Nobility
Nani == What
Neko == Cat
Okaasan == Mother
Oneesan == Older sister
Oni == Devil, Ogre
Onna == female
-sama == "Sir; Madam" (formal) (sign of respect)
-san == "Mister; Miss"
-sensei == "Teacher; Master" (title used when speaking of or
to members of certain professions (lawyers,
doctors, etc)
Shogi == Japanese chess
[=== End of Glossary ===]
[=== Appendix: Riftwar Saga ===]
_Riftwar Saga_
Created by Raymond Feist
Characters Used
Pug and Nakor
[=== End of Appendix: Riftwar Saga ===]
End Include