Ranma 1/2, Sailor Moon, El Hazard, Slayers, BGC, Ah! Megami-sama and
Neon Genesis Evangelion: The Job Interview
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[A young man with brown hair sits at the chair, shuffling papers,
randomly punching buttons on his calculator and seeing the results,
playing with a yo-yo, etc.]
Intercom: Mr. A-kun, the clients have been waiting for thirty minutes
now.
A-kun: Oh, all right, I suppose I've kept them waiting long enough.
Send the first in.
[Ritsuko Akagi walked into the office which was suddenly looking like
something out of a Stephen King novel while the theme from 'Psycho' is
playing in the background. A-kun is currently sharpening a knife and
grinning widely.]
Ritsuko: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! [runs away]
A-kun: Damn. Guess it was a bit much. Next!
[Amelia Tesla wil Sailoon walked in next. The room had changed to that
of 'Barney and Friends' and overly-cute and cuddly animals hopped
around, looking ever so cute. A cute little background song was playing
adding to the cuteness.]
Amelia: AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!! TOO
CUTE!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH [runs away]
A-kun: Damn. [shivers] Too damn cute. [burns down the set.] NEXT!
[Jinnai Katsuhiko enters to see A-kun.]
Jinnai: Ah, just the man I wanted to see...
A-kun: You've been challenged, Jinnai, you can't get out of it by
applying for the announcer slot.
Jinnai: Rotten, no good... grrr.....
[Jinnai leaves and Keichii Morisato enters.]
Keichii: Hi, I'm here for the job.
A-kun: Yes, I noticed. First of all, I have to be blunt. In our last
fight, blood sprayed everywhere, people's intestines were laying on the
mat and I got some brain on my shoulder. I've got it right here. [pulls
out a plastic model of a brain that in a jar]
Keichii: [clutches mouth] *ULP* [runs to the bathroom]
A-kun: Next!
[Detective Leon McNihol walked into the room.]
A-kun: Ah, at last, someone with a stomach.
Leon: Yeah, um, what's that? [points to the jar]
A-kun: It's a brain in a jar.
Leon: [lifting an eyebrow] Isn't that illegal?
A-kun: Not when the brain is a plastic manufactured one.
Leon: Oh.
A-kun: Anyway, why do you want the job?
Leon: Actually, I was wondering if Priss and I could have front row
seats.
A-kun: [sighing as he holds out two tickets] Here.
Leon: [grinning] Thanks! [leaves]
[A-kun groaned. Getting a temp replacement for ????? for the Anime
Death Match, even if it was only for two episodes, while she took a
vacation, was annoyingly difficult.]
A-kun: Next.
[Mamoru Chiba walked in.]
Mamoru: Hello.
A-kun: Ah, Mamoru Chiba. How are you?
Mamoru: Fine. They say my arm'll take another week to get over the
incident, but otherwise, I'm fine.
A-kun: By the way, TharzZzy's sorry about throwing you into that pop
machine. He was a bit tense that day.
Mamoru: It's okay. Anyway, I think I'd be pretty good at this Death
Match stuff.
A-kun: You sure? We do some REALLY gruesome stuff here.
Mamoru: I can handle that.
A-kun: And you won't be able to challenge anyone while you're an
announcer.
Mamoru: Damn. On second thought maybe I shouldn't apply.
A-kun: It's okay. By the way, is Tommy out of the hospital?
Mamoru: [grinning evilly] Nope.
[Mamoru exits.]
A-kun: Next.
[Ukyou Kuonji walked in.]
A-kun: Ah, Ukyou, how are you?
Ukyou: Just fine, yourself?
A-kun: Fine, fine. So, think you can handle this job?
Ukyou: Gross is okay.
A-kun: And you won't be able to challenge anyone while you're an
announcer.
Ukyou: That's okay, I don't plan to challenge anyone for a while.
A-kun: And no sabotaging the contestants.
Ukyou: But you-
A-kun: SHHHHHH!! Do you want to give it away?!
Ukyou: [smiling] Okaaay.
A-kun: I guess this means you're hired.
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