I'm glad that I had most of this finished yesterday, as it is probably
going to take me a few days to get my sense of humor back.
Magical Girls Nightmare Team
by Pyae, the Dark Elf
Dedicated to Spots, Rat Terrier
12/7/89-9/26/98
Chapter 4 of 5:
...and a Prayer
(After reading the title again, that he selected weeks ago, Josh breaks
down in tears, while smiling.)
Previous chapters (can you believe that?) can be found at
http://bucket.ualr.edu/~sort/fanfic/
**********
First, the leader of the Kawaii Sailor Samurai Knights, Sailor
Sweethtooth, had discovered her destiny via a wish. Next, the other
members had been gathered together through coincidence. Then, the team
had found its familiar, Mokona. They had even participated in a couple
of fights against dark powers and mad geniuses.
And all was well. Almost. The only problem was that the KSSK still
did not have an arch-enemy.
Nature, it is said, abhors a vacuum.
*****
His name was Znth-qswpD'Klmn. For the sake of the story, however,
his name will be translated as Bob.
Bob was frustrated. He had built a dimensional portal machine and
had begun to explore the infinite possibilities. But everywhere he
went, he found these ugly, hairless, upright mammals. His people were
ignored or suppressed. That wouldn't do at all. It would have to go.
And he would start _there_.
Bob rubbed his mandibles together in a maniacal fashion that would
have done a late-night TV movie villain proud.
*****
The Society of Bedbugs (SOB) was in complete disarray.
Members strangled other members, smashed furniture over each other
heads, and phoned random people to make bad refrigerator jokes.
Worst of all, they weren't in agreement about what to put on their
pizza.
"Bureaucrats," General Biter sighed in disgust.
*****
Shiiko, Azusa, Sasami, Chibi-Usa, Skuld, and Mokona walked down the
main thoroughfare of Graviton City. Skuld was staying slightly behind
the others while Mokona seemed to enjoy being in the lead. The street
lights were starting to come on and the girls were discussing which fine
quinine they should partake of for their evening repast -- pizza or
okonomiyaki.
Skuld's tricorder, which she had left on passive mode, suddenly began
beeping urgently. Pulling it out of her pocket, she noticed that a flux
of energy had just occurred, apparently opening a dimensional rift.
What stopped her dead in her tracks was the fact that the energy flux
had come from the transformation pens she and the other girls carried.
*****
A blue circle appeared, swirling with energy. Bob stepped out of the
portal, holding a large sack, and looked around. The rift closed.
He was in a dark store with mattresses piled everywhere. Pulling an
electronic device out of his sack, he looked at it and walked toward
the darkest corner of the building.
Gazing down at the filthy mattress in front of him, Bob said, "Fear
not my bedbug brothers! I shall raise you to your proper glory!" He
began to surround the mattress with exotic equipment.
*****
Still standing still and studying the energy readings, Skuld noted
that there was a surge of energy with the same dimensional variance as
the rift that had been created earlier.
She looked up to inform the other girls and found that they had
disappeared.
*****
Bob turned his machines on and mystical energies flooded the small
mattress store.
All around the city, giant bugs, their eyes glowing red, appeared and
began destroying buildings, frightening people, and eating small pets.
No longer understanding what they were doing, their will sapped by
the same forces that had enlarged them, the bedbugs began spreading
havoc throughout Graviton City.
*****
The magical girls had transformed as soon as the monsters had begun to
appear. Using their magical attacks, they destroyed as many as
possible, but the begbugs were far too numerous for them to handle.
"We must find the arch-villain who is behind this chaos and have our
climatic showdown," Shiiko gasped.
"Puu?" Mokona asked. It concentrated and a bright beam of light shot
out of its forehead, aimed down the street.
"That way!" Chibi-Usa pointed in the direction that the beam of
light went and the girls ran toward their destiny.
*****
Skuld tracked the rift location to a small mattress store. Peering
through a window, she saw many arcane signs and devices. There were a
number of giant bugs, seemingly standing guard, and one slightly smaller
bug who was tinkering with the equipment.
The door to the mattress shop crashed open and the Kawaii Sailor
Samurai Knights arrived.
As the guard bugs charged them, the magical girls used their attacks.
And failed. Far more agile than they appeared at first glance, the
guards danced around the Sailors' attacks and managed to land stunning
blows to the girls.
Something was seriously wrong.
Where there are magical heroes, there are magical enemies. Where
there are magical enemies, there are magical heroes. But now that the
good guys had arrived, they should have been defeating the bad guys.
Very little of what had occurred during the past day made sense.
*What do the transformation pens have to do with these monsters?* Skuld
wondered.
The only way to figure it out was to think through the problem
systematically, Skuld decided.
Shiiko made a wish. She wanted to be a magical girl. She wanted to
have magical companions. She wanted her team to defeat evil.
The wish had been granted. Because of that, the contract would be
valid until the wish was fulfilled and it would continue to do whatever
was necessary to make that happen.
Skuld pulled the henshin stick out of her subspace pocket and looked
at it again. "Incredible."
Raising the pen skyward, Skuld called out, "SWEET PRETTY CUTEY SAILOR
WARRIOR SCOUT TRANSFORMATION FROSTING MAKE OVER, ENGAGE!"
*****
Sailor Candycane burst in the room.
"On behalf of all that is upstanding and proper, I will defeat you!"
Bob laughed. And because this was anime, the room's occupants
heard him speak fluent Japanese, "What can one more of you weakling
girls do against me?" Signaling to the guards, he ordered, "Destroy
her!"
"SYRUP STICKY CAPTURE!" Skuld shouted as the giant bedbugs bore down
upon her. Streams of white and red liquid shot from her hands,
entangling the guards. "Use your attacks, everyone!"
"SWEET SHAVED ICE BLIZZARD!" Azusa called out.
"PINK SUGAR HEART ATTACK!" Chibi-Usa shrieked.
"GOOEY GOOEY GUMDROP BOMB!" Sasami yelled.
"CHOCOLATE CRAVING CRUSH!" Shiiko roared.
The bedbugs disappeared under a pile of sweetness. Bob looked on in
stunned horror.
"Now, Sailor Sweettooth! Finish it off!"
"DEATH BY CHOCOLATE!" A large brown sphere of power formed in
Shiiko's hand. She threw it at the leader of the bedbug revolution.
"Nooo!" Bob cried as he and his equipment were destroyed. At that
instant, all over the city, the giant bedbugs suddenly shrank to their
normal size.
The wish fulfilled, a wave of energy exploded from the magical girls
and swept over the city. When the light faded, the girls were left
standing in their normal clothing, but Skuld and Mokona had disappeared.
*****
Sasami was standing at the entrance of the small park when the van
pulled up. Everyone immediately piled out and surrounded the little
girl. Washuu was carrying a strange helmet which she had removed as she
exited the vehicle.
"See. Finding a Jurai princess is easy for the greatest scientist in
the universe!"
"Sasami! We were so worried. You shouldn't have gone off by
yourself," Aeka chided.
"I told you the little squirt could handle herself," Ryouko
commented.
"Are you ok, Sasami?" Tenchi asked.
"I'm fine, Tenchi."
"We heard on the radio about an attack on the city by some monsters,"
Nobuyuki added.
"I... never was in any danger," Sasami replied, slightly nervous. No
one appeared to notice as they ushered her into the van.
Washuu wondered about the odd aura that Sasami had gained. It
definitely wasn't connected to Tsunami. She grinned as she hopped into
the vehicle, all the while planning new experiments.
To be concluded...
**********
[A gray-skinned, red-brown-eyed elf walks on stage and bows to the
audience.]
Pyae: [Nervously.] I didn't think about the meaning of S.O.B. until I
was writing this episode. I was thinking more along the lines of
the verb 'to sob' when I came up with the Society of Bedbugs.
[Puts hand behind his head and laughs.] I've done double
entendres before, but this is particularly bad. [Sighs.] Anyway,
sorry if I offended anyone.
[Pyae walks off stage. He peeks back around the curtain.]
Pyae: But since I'm a _dark_ elf, it stays. Bwahahaha-
[An anvil falls on Pyae, silencing him.]
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Josh Green, aka Pi -- SORT@BUCKET.UALR.EDU
http://bucket.ualr.edu/~sort/fanfic/
---------------------------------------------------------------------------