A few words on composition:

Any time there is a change in the person speaking, you need to start a
new paragraph. The last part of this work, where Cologne and Shampoo are
discussing the tale, was difficult to follow because all of the dialogue
was in one big paragraph. 
-- 
"Not all of Kodachi is evil. Just her laugh."
          -Rachel Wilde, age 4.
   Come and see the fanfics and food of
         Bridget and Jamie Wilde!
            wildeman@psn.net
      http://www.psn.net/~wildeman/