Subject: [FFML] [Ranma] <Spamfic> Critical Miss
From: "Russell Howard" <gunnm@iglou.com>
Date: 9/23/1998, 11:57 PM
To:


Ranma 1/2 characters are property of Rumiko Takahashi and used without
permission

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Akane Tendo was mad, a not uncommon state for her.

"Ranma!! Ranma!! Where ARE you?  I slaved all morning to fix this
lunch for you, and you'll eat it!!" Akane exclaimed.  She was stalking
her way back home, to the Tendo dojo.  Ranma had left school, *ran in
terror,* a small, seldom listened to corner of her mind said, when
he'd opened his lunch.  He'd gone and embarrassed her yet again in
front of her friends, and he'd pay for it!

Akane stopped moving.  *I bet he's at the Chinese hussy's or Ukyou's!*
If possible, her anger went up another notch.  *Well, he won't eat at
their place's if I have anything to say about it!*  She bolted towards
the Cat-Caf�, making good time.  She couldn't do leaps like the
others, but she could still clear the occasional fence, small car,
Kuno-shaped craters, and so on.

Akane turned the corner leading to the "Ucchan."  Both Shampoo and
Ukyou were standing in front of the restaurant, beside a small table
covered in food.  Ranma had his back to her, and was stuffing his
face.  *He had his red shirt on when he left school --- I guess he
must have changed.*  They were busy talking (the two-timing rat!) as
Ranma started on the next dish.  Well, she'd stop that!

So! He'd insult her food, but here he is bumming food from those two!
Akane grabbed one of the loose mallets someone left all over Nerima
(someday she'd ask her sisters who left them there - and get a
straight answer; they gave her such funny looks last time she asked).

Mallet in hand, check.

Swing back, a little farther than usual - we want maximal distance
today.

Release the swing, targeting chest in upward motion.

Smirk as shocked looks are given by the "other" fiancees.

"AKANE!!!!!!!"  Ranma yelling from behind her.  No, that wasn't going
to stop her from justly punishing him tod--- RANMA?!?!?!? Behind
her?!?!?

The man had turned slightly, a dusting of gray visible in his hair.
He'd barely had time for his eyes to widen as he saw the
mallet-missile headed for him.

*Kuso!!* Akane'd committed to the swing, even her strength couldn't
stop it now.  A tensing in her frame gave evidence that she was still
trying though.  It wasn't enough.

CRACK!!!!!  The body flew across the sidewalk, impacting against a
wall.  Further cracks and snapping noises could be heard as the body
dropped from the red imprint it left in the wall.

 "Akane!"

 "Aiya! Crazy violent girl really go crazy!"

 "What the hell'd you do that for, you jackass?!?"

 "That's not... not Ranma... It has to be Ranma..."  A quite few
seconds,  "It has to be," in a pleading, forlorn tone.

 Akane just stood and stared blankly, even when Ranma put his arm
around her.  He shook her gently, but her expression never changed.
Ukyou disappeared into her restaurant, presumably to find the phone.
Shampoo crouched down over the body, touching her finger to the man's
neck.  She paled after a moment, then turned to Ranma.

 "Ranma, he dead!"

 "Who the hell is he? " Ranma looked over the body.  If all the bones
were intact, he might be Ranma himself in 20 years.

 "Yokatsu Saotome.  He food critic for Tokyo Daily."

 "Uncle Yo?!? Ahhhh kuso!!"  Ranma backed away from Akane slightly, "I
hadn't seen him since I was 8... Kuso, Kuso, Kuso!"

 "I've called the police and emergency medical,"  Ukyou looked at
Akane, a frightened look still in Ukyou's eyes.  "She really screwed
up this time.  What'll we do now?"

 "Ukyou, I have no idea."

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 Didn't go quite where I expected it, but oh well.  This is just a
minor possibility with the degree of non-perceptive people evident in
the Ranmaverse (and I'm not talking about Mousse).  Well, time to get
back to rereading thesis and notes for the 342nd time (finally,
finally the defense is tomorrow and I'll be done!!!!)

Russ



"My Dream?  All people have invisible wings.  My dream... my dream is
to have everyone learn to fly on their own wings!"
 -- Gally, Hunter-Warrior