Akane was worrying about Ranma.  <If we're having this much trouble
with four, how is Ranma faring?>  The blood from the shallow cuts on her
palms had stopped, although she could still feel a slight trickle from
the cut near her throat.  Akane hefted her captured mace and waited for
War to reach her, recalling what
had occurred before.

{Hmm.  That's a weak starting sentence.  Rearranging this paragraph to
put any of the other sentences in it first would make it stronger.
"occured"}


         ******************************************************

    Akane waited for War to approach.  Johnathon had run forward,
speeding past Death, striking at its steed as he went by, causing Death
to wheel about to chase him.  Sasuke's shuriken and Ukyo's mini spatulas
had drawn Famine and Pestilence away, leaving War heading for Akane
alone.

{<Sigh>  Everyone always gets the four horsemen wrong, so why should
you be any different?  For the record however, in Revelations, 
the first horseman is unnamed but wears a crown.  He represents a
concept such as "Kingship" and summons forth (causes) War, which kills
many.  Profiteers take advantage of food shortages during the war, 
causing many people to starve...Famine.  Then all the unburied bodies,
"Death", causes a terrible plague.}

    Akane clenched her fists.  <One on one against a demon called War,
wonderful.>  War rode up almost casually and brought his sword down at
Akane in a great arc.  Akane waited until the last moment and stopped
the blade by grabbing it between her open palms.  <It's holding the

{"catching it"}

sword one handed, I should be able to tear it loose.>  She grunted with
the effort of stopping the blade, but had to put every bit of strength
into keeping it from plunging into her chest.  <Uh oh, it's stronger
than I thought.>

    War stared down at Akane and began exerting greater pressure.  Akane
strained with every ounce of strength to hold back the sword.  It wasn't
quite enough.  The sword came down inextolerably.  Akane's effort to

{"inexorably"}

keep it away was causing the sword to cut slightly into her palms, and
blood was starting to drip from the tip as it touched her throat.  With
a cry, Akane threw herself backwards, letting go of the sword.  The
weapon flashed down with incredible speed cutting her throat, slicing
open the front of her gi top and just catching the knot of her belt as
she felt back.  Akane rolled completely over and threw herself to her
side as War struck again, barely missing her.

    Akane started running and War turned his steed to follow.  Akane
could hear War gaining but she couldn't stop running in fear.  Just
before War caught up and cut her down Johnathon attacked War's mount
from the rear, hamstringing it and leaping away.  Akane spun around at
the tremendous clatter of War hitting the ground as his steed fell out
from under him.  Akane steeled herself against the unnatural fear she
had been feeling and her battle aura flared in anger.

    Akane grimaced at the failure of her previous tactic.  <He's too
strong to beat that way.  I'll have to use speed.>  War rose from his
stricken steed and decapitated it with his sword in anger.  The demonic
horse disintegrated and War's eyes began to glow bright red.  <Death
feeds it.>  Akane realized, then prepared
herself for a second attack.  There was a flashing blue light from her
right, but Akane ignored it.

    War headed for her quickly, pulling a large shield off its back.
The shield's edge was serrated and looked sharp.  Akane let War come to
her then, dodging its first swing and moving inside its guard, quickly
attacking.

    "Chestnut Fist!"  Akane shouted as she struck multiple times, going
for one of the weapons on its belt.  Before she could free anything, War
brought its shield into play, blocking her.  Akane was forced to leap
back as it swung at her, again and again, faster, and faster.  <It�s
copying the Chestnut Fist?  Oh &%$!>

{If it's copying the Chestnut Fist it would actually be stabbing, 
not swinging.}

Backpedaling, Akane though rapidly.  <I need a distraction., just for a
second.  Her gi top flapping open in front of her caught her eye.
<OK.>  Akane pulled her gi top off.  Her tee shirt underneath was mostly
intact, except a cut in the neck and the slowly growing bloodstain
there.

{"was intact except for a cut in the neck and a slowly spreading 
  bloodstain."}

    Akane leaped over War, dropping the gi top on his head.  War's sword
cut her top to ribbons but Akane was able to use the moment to grab a
large mace off of War's belt and jump away, just as War swung at her
again.  Akane backed off, taking the time to wonder about Ranma and the
fate of her other friends.  She
glanced around to see how everyone else fared as War approached.

    Akane spotted Johnathon going toe to toe with Death.  The skeletal
scythe carrier seemed to be loosing.  Its robes were tattered and
Johnathon looked unhurt.  Johnathon darted in again as she looked,
having just dodged a swing by Death's scythe.  Johnathon tore more

{It might be more dynamic if you wrote, "Johnathon dodged a scythe
 swing and darted in again, tearing more strips from Death as he
 passed it."}

strips out of Death before getting out of range again.

   Akane focused back on her own fight, as War was about to reach her.
<But where are Kuno, Sasuke, and Ukyo?>

         ***********************************************

    At the beginning of the fight, Kuno had been confident of success.
As the demons appeared, the Kuno honor blade had glowed a faint blue.
Sasuke's stars had attacked Famine's attention nicely.  Kuno had stood
patiently waiting for the demon to come to its death.  Famine charged
and Kuno slashed its mount, stepping to the side in a flawless evasion.
The Kuno honor blade flared a brilliant blue as if bit into Famine's

{"it bit"}

demonic steed.  There was a crash behind him as Kuno held his pose for
the necessary second to achieve true elegance of style, then turned to
face his foe.

    Famine had already risen to its feet, its mount having disintegrated
messily even as it had hit the ground.  Kuno began his classic
multistrike, his sword flashing brightly as he attacked.  Famine faded
backwards with aclarity, avoiding his blade much as Saotome had in their

{"alacrity"}

first duel.  Kuno wasn't about to begin worrying, but the possibility
that this foe might prove a true threat after all did occur to him.

        ***********************************************

then noticed something off about the creature.  Its blood... moves...
that's not blood, it's bleeding... insects, it's BLEEDING INSECTS!>

{I like that.  Not a bad version.}

Horrified, Ukyo stared and confirmed it.  Venomous insects crawled from
Pestilence's wounds, some crawled, and some flew, adding to the noxious
green cloud around the monster.

{"Venomous insects crawled from Pestilence's wounds, some flying to 
 add to the noxious green cloud around the monster."}

    Ukyo fought back her bile.  <Those bugs can't be good.  Time to
bring out the big guns.>  Ukyo reached into her shirt and brought out
what looked like another flour bomb.  She threw it and it burst over
Pestilence and the bugs in a cloud.  Ukyo followed the bomb with a
single spatula, angled at the pavement to throw a
spark into the cloud.  An instant later Ukyo's gunpowder bomb ignited in
a series of tiny explosions.  Pestilence was blackened, it's wounds
cauterized, but it was still moving.  <Damn.  If I cut it, it bleeds
insects, and I only have one more gunpowder bomb.  How can I stop that
thing?>

    Ukyo backed away from pestilence, the creature was gaining speed as
it came for her.  Ukyo backpedaled faster, trying to think of a way to
win.

{"Pestilence".  Comma splice.}

    As Johnathon continued fighting with Death he became more and more
convinced his present tactics weren't sufficient to defeat his

{More dynamic if you write something like "The more Johnathon fought
Death, the more convinced he was that his present tactics weren't
going to work."}

opponent.  He was faster than the skeletal monster, but his claws did
little to its bony form other than tearing its robe and scratching its
bones.

    Johnathon backed off momentarily, breathing hard.  <I'm getting
tired too, and it's not slowing at all.  I need to hurt it decisively.>

    Johnathon changed his martial arts form to compensate.  He had been
using his speed and claws to rake the creature in a very cat-like
style.  Johnathon had developed it as a variation of several different
cat based kung fu styles he had picked up in China, as well as
inspiration from Ranma's Cat Fist.  It was fast and

{"with some inspiration from"}

effective, but lacked the strength necessary to damage Death's bones.
Johnathon went to a kickboxing style, drawing energy from the earth to
power his kicks.  Death came in swinging its scythe, but Johnathon
didn't dodge as he had before.  He stepped into the swing, blocking the
shaft with both forearms, then grabbing hold of the weapon as he began
to lash out with a series of kicks.

    Johnathon kicked through Death's rib cage and slammed his foot into
the skeletal monster's chin with great force.  Death tried to pull its
scythe free but Johnathon held on grimly with both hands.  Using Death's
strength against it, Johnathon timed a drop kick when Death was pulling
back.  Smashing both feet into the unearthly skull and knocking Death
off its feet.  Johnathon followed Death down, crushing Death's skull
into the pavement with both feet as it hit.  The skeleton crumbled as
its skull shattered, and the scythe came free in Johnathon�s hands.  He
stepped back, Death's scythe in his hands, triumphant.

    Johnathon blinked.  "Well, that was easier than I thought..."

    As he did so, an evil voice filled his head.  <One who destroys
death, becomes death.>  Red light started coming from Johnathon�s eyes
as his consciousness faded.

{Too passive.  Try "Johnathon's eyes began to glow red..."

    Off in the distance, Akane raised her captured mace and charged War
with a yell of rage.  Her aura burning bright red, Akane leapt into the
air and came down swinging upon the armored monster.  War blocked her
strike with its shield, only to have its protection knocked away with
incredible force.  Akane hammered into the monster with inhuman
strength, crashing through its defenses and smashing into its head and
body again and again.  War feebly tried to parry with its sword and
Akane's Mace, glowing with the red of her battle aura, shattered its

{"mace"}

weapon, smashing into War's helmet.  With a final blow, Akane blew War
clean off its feet, sending it sailing into the air.

    Akane collapsed to one knee, her aura faded, her strength spent in
her assault.  Wearily, Akane propped herself up with her now dented and
dinged weapon.  War hit the ground seconds later in a tremendous crash,
then disintegrated.  Akane noted her victory, then fell onto her side,
too tired to move.

    Tatiwati Kuno slumped to one knee as Famine grabbed him by the

{For shame!  "Tatewake"}

throat.  It had finally slipped past his defenses and gotten hold of
him.  Kuno could feel his strength draining from him in waves and knew
he had only seconds to act.  With sheer strength of will he plunged the
Kuno honor blade into the belly of his foe and began drawing it upward.
The blade flared a brilliant blue and flame crackled along its length.
Even as consciousness faded Kuno forced the blade up to Famine's neck.
Kuno lost consciousness, his flaming sword still stuck into his foe.
Famine screamed in rage and disintegrated moments later.  The Kuno honor
blade clattered to the ground, even as Kuno himself collapsed backwards.


    Sasuke caught his master before Kuno hit the ground.  He had been
unable to assist at the incredible speeds his master and the creature
had been fighting.  All he could do was carry his Master Kuno to safety.


    Ukyo was rapidly running out of room to run.  Pestilence had chased
her into a dead end and she still couldn't think of how to attack it
without things just getting worse.  Then, behind the monster came two
girls, one with long white hair, one with black.  They each carried a
couple of large bottles, which they started throwing at the monster from
behind.  The first two bottles hit Pestilence in the back and broke,
soaking the monster.  It turned and the second two bottles hit it,
soaking its front as they broke upon it.  Ukyo recognized the two girls

{Say, that's convenient.  Would have been awkward if the bottles 
just bounced off and broke on the pavement.}

from before, they had come with the Senshi, although they didn't seem to
have any powers.

{Comma splice.  "Ukyo recognised the girls.  They had come with..."}

    The white haired girl yelled to Ukyo as Pestilence approached her.
<"It�s soaked with sake!  All you have to do is light it!"

{Wrong bracket}


    Ukyo blinked, then pulled out her giant battle spatula.  <Sake, four
bottles, eh?  OK, I know what I have to do.>  Ukyo leapt at the creature
coming down on its head with a downward cut.  It started to turn back
toward her too late and she struck it with every ounce of strength.  The
battle spatula practically bisected the monster and Ukyo leapt away as
insects began pouring out.  Ukyo tossed her last gunpowder bomb and
every last mini spatula she had left as she landed and started backing
away.  The bomb exploded from a spark struck off one mini spatula and
the monster and its bug began burning brightly as the sake all caught
fire at once.

{"its bugs"}

    Ukyo kept throwing mini spats at Pestilence, aiming for its arms and
legs.  She managed to cut off both arms and one leg at the knee before
running out of spatulas.

    <Not enough.>  Ukyo thought grimly as she looked at the burning
monster.  Ukyo hefted her battle spatula and ran in, then began chopping
at the flaming Youma.  She could barely stand the heat, but persisted
until she had reduced it into small chunks, then leapt away once more.
Ukyo dropped her battle spatula and blew on her hands.  "Ow, ow ow, that
smarts!"  The two girls that had helped her walked up cautiously.

    The white haired girl spoke up.  "Why did you attack it while it was
burning?  It was already beaten, right?"

    Ukyo shook her head.  "Nope.  Four bottles of sake weren't enough to
cook that whole thing.  I know, I'm a chef.  It had to be reduced to
smaller pieces for the whole thing to burn up."  She waved at the
burning mass.  As they watched, the flames began to die.  "You see?  The
sake's already burned up.  If I hadn't cut it up it would have only
burnt on the outside.  Since it was filled with... bugs, I figured that
wouldn't have been enough."

    The black haired girl nodded.  "Very nicely done, Ms..."

    Ukyo held out her hand.  "Ukyo.  Thanks for the assist...."

    "You can call me Diana."  The girl said with a smile.  "We should
see if the others need help."

{What's wrong with "Luna" as a name?}

    Ukyo nodded.  "Right."  She picked up her battle spatula and headed
for the sounds of fighting.  Ukyo was in time to see War collapse and
disintegrate.  "Alright!  Looks like we won!"  Sasuke was dragging Kuno
toward the limo.  Akane was kneeling over by War.  Ukyo headed for Akane
as she collapsed.  She waved at Johnathon, who was standing quietly
holding Death's scythe.  "Hey Johnathon!  Come help me with Akane!"  The
tall, black furred, half-cat turned toward her, his eyes glowing red.
He raised the scythe and charged.  "Oh @#$%!"  Ukyo swore, then brought
her battle spatula to the ready.  "This is not good."

    Ukyo parried Johnathon downward swipe with her giant spatula.

{"Johnathon's"}

"Johnathon!  Snap out of it!"  What's wrong with you?"  She parried

{Delete extra quote mark}

frantically, dodging backwards as she did so.  The half-cat was fast,
faster than she was, and it was only her greater skill with her weapon
that kept her alive.  Johnathon wasn't
responding at all to her cries.  His glowing red eyes and reliance on
using the scythe told her why, even as 'Diane' shouted.

    "He's been possessed by a Youma!"  Diane informed her anxiously.

    Ukyo kept her defenses.  "I can tell!  But how do we unposses him?"

{"unpossess"}

    "It must be the scythe!"  Diane shouted again.  "Disarm him!"

{No, it's gotta be the shoes!}

    Ukyo nodded grimly and started attempting to do so.  Johnathon held
the weapon with both hands and Ukyo wasn't able to knock it free using
conventional tactics.  Ukyo threw tactics out the window, and threw her
spatula at Johnathon.  As the cat creature parried it she stepped in and
grabbed his wrists.  There was an intense struggle, then Ukyo managed to
rip Johnathon�s hands apart and off the scythe.  The scythe dropped to
the ground and Ukyo kicked it away.  Johnathon continued to struggle to
get loose, the red glow in his eyes not diminishing.

{Headbutt!}

    Ukyo held him off with her slightly greater strength and yelled.
"It didn't work!  Now what?"

    Diane yelled back.  "Knock him out!"

    Before Ukyo could attempt to do so the black furred half-cat kicked
her in the chest, tearing his arms free and knocking Ukyo to the
ground.  Ukyo started to roll to her feet but was knocked back to the
ground as Johnathon pounced on her.  His claws raked down her chest and
only the extra padding of her breast binding kept her from being
seriously cut.  Ukyo grabbed Johnathon�s wrists again and gathered her

{Breast binding?  I thought she stopped doing that, at least when she
wasn't in school uniform.}

legs under him.  She kicked him away before he could rake her again and
quickly rolled to her feet.  The half cat landed on all fours and
quickly pounced at her again even as Ukyo stood.  Ukyo jumped to the
side, barely dodging his attack, and dived for her battle spatula.

    Johnathon came for her again and Ukyo turned to defend herself, this
time with her spatula in hand.  Ukyo parried his claws away and brought
her spatula down towards Johnathon�s head.  He dodged away and Ukyo
gripped her weapon tightly, preparing for him to attack once more.  He

{The fewer words you use to convey an idea, the better, especially in
an action scene.  "preparing for his next attack"}

did, charging in with great speed.  Ukyo brought her spatula across in a
counter attack and knocked him sprawling.  Before he could get to his
feet Ukyo jumped in and smashed his head into the ground with her
spatula.

    Ukyo stepped back, surveying her opponent.  He seemed quite
unconscious, and she breathed a sigh of relief, just then noticing the
ease of doing so.  Ukyo looked down, noticing her chest was no longer
constricted, and her shirt was hanging open.  Ukyo tried to sheath her
battle spatula, then noticed her bandoleer was laying in two pieces a
dozen feet away, next to her breast bindings.  Ukyo looked down, noting
with relief that she wasn't badly cut, just a few nicks near her throat
that weren't bleeding much at all.  Ukyo pulled the front of her shirt
closed with one hand, holding her giant spatula with the other.

{<Leer>}


    The two girls that had helped her walked up.  "Great job!"  The
white haired girl said with a smile.

    'Diane' knelt to check Johnathon.  "The evil in him is gone.  We've
won!"  She looked up with a grin.  "You won, Ukyo, well done."

        **************************************************

    Ranma grimaced, dodging around, hemmed in by increasing numbers of
Youma.  "Whose good idea was this?"  Of course, it had been his idea.
It had all began well enough....

        **************************************************

    Hundreds of black bodied Youma were gathering between them and their
target.  They had approached and everyone had started unleashing their
long-range attacks.  Youma had fallen by the dozen.  Sailor Moon's power
had been very effective, destroying every Youma it touched.  Tuxedo
Kamen was busy keeping the more enthusiastic Youma away from her. The
inner Senshi worked together well, but lacked power.  They each could
handle about a single Youma at a time.  The Outer Senshi were very
powerful, their attacks weren't quite as affective as Sailor Moon's, but
nearly so.  Sailor Saturn was obviously holding back, but from the other
Senshi's reactions, Ranma figured there was a reason for that.

    The Nerima martial artists held back at first, not wanting to
exhaust their Chi so early.  As the Youma closed, Mousse started
throwing knives, chains, and assorted other objects at them.  Sailor
Moon decided on a plan.  "We have to fight our way to the tree.  Then we
take it out."

{And it's that kind of tactical planning that makes Sailor Moon the
great general she isn't.}

 
    "Perfect!"  Ranma grinned in anticipation and jumped into the center
of the spiral.

    "What's he doing?"  Mars asked, confused.

    "Watch."  Mercury said, holding the spiral steady.

    "Hiro-Shoten-Ha!"  Thrusting both arms forward Ranma started the

"Hiryu-Shoten-Ha!"

hurricane.  The powerful wind, shot through with alternating fire and
ice, shot into the middle of the army of Youma with devastating results.

    As impressive as the attack was, their didn't seem to be any let up
in the number of Youma.  For a few more moments the combined powers of
the Senshi held back the wave of Youma, but soon it appeared they would
be overrun again.  Cologne let off her own whirlwind to hold the right
side, while Ryoga let off a medium powerful Shi-Hi-Hokodan.  Shampoo and
Mousse stood ready, it wouldn't be much longer before she was needed.

{Really, you aren't giving Ryoga enough credit.  The bandanna trick
and the Perfect Shi-Shi Hokodan would be great in a target-rich 
environment.}

    It didn't.  The Youma kept coming, and the Sailors weren't getting
much closer to to tree.  As it seemed they would be overrun, Shampoo,
Mousse, Ryoga and Ranma kicked into high gear.  Youma flew everywhere
and they began making progress again.

    Shampoo danced from opponent to opponent with almost supernatural
grace, bonbori in one hand, crushing skulls and breaking limbs. Her
sword was in her other hand, and where it passed, things died.

    Mousse never seemed to run out of weapons, he was fighting with a
pair of Scimitar's one moment, then paused to fling various missiles
where they were needed.

    Ryoga on the other hand had stopped throwing his bandana's a while
back.  Now he was laying waist to the Youma near him with his umbrella,
his incredible strength, and numerous breaking point explosions.

{He was making them fat?  "bandannas", "waste"}

    Ranma was a blur of motion, punches and kicks coming at Chesnut-fist

{"Chestnut"}

speed.  Cologne had joined him, and the two seemed to be everywhere at
once, and wherever they were, Youma fell.

    Fighting better then they could remember, the Nerima Martial artists
for once worked as a team, keeping the Youma away from the 9 Senshi,
which allowed them to get a much needed break.

{Ten senshi, Tux-Boy counts.  Although since he uses a lot of restraint 
in his attacks, he probably isn't as worn out and might still be sniping 
with the occasional rose.}

    Sailor Jupiter caught her breath.  "Man, why have we been doing
this?  Those guy's ought to be the ones to save the world!"

{"guys"}

    Sailor Moon's eyes were wide as she watched.  "Wow, did you see
that?"

    Mars grabbed her shoulder to shake her a bit, (as well as to get a
rest, though she wouldn't admit she needed one.)  "Don't get too
impressed meatball head, we still gotta get ot there again and fight,
we're not their yet."

{"out", "there"}
  
    Ryoga beat off a number of winged youma trying to carry off Sailor
Moon, and shouted.  :"It's no use, were surrounded!  We're not going to
make it! There are two many!"  He blew several away with a spontaneous
chi blast.

{"and shouted, "It's no use!  We're not going to make it!  There are
too many!"}

    <Leave it to Ryoga to state the obvious.>  Ranma thought,
frustrated.  <Still he's right, we'll be overwhelmed sooner or later.
I've gotta come up with a plan.>  As he fought, an idea began to come to
him.  <These things don't want to let us get to that tree, right?  So if
one of us were to get alot closer, they'd concentrate on that person.>

{"a lot"}

He yelled to Cologne, "Take care of things here, huh you old ghoul?"  He
then rushed back to the inner senshi, who had grouped together tightly
for support.

    Cologne watched him say something to Sailor's Mars and Mercury.  <Is
that fool going to do what I think he is?>

    Mars started the spiral this time, closely followed by Mercury.
They aimed it directly at the Tree.  No one questioned what Ranma was
doing, instead Ryoga and Shampoo stepped in to guard the two sailors,
and everyone else stepped up their attacks to compensate.

    Ranma jumped into the spiral and shouted, "When the Youma come after
me, make a break for the tree!"  He focused his chi, and shouted the

{Ranma's a poet, and doesn't know it.}

words again, "Hiro-Shoten-HA!"  The whirlwind formed, blasting away the

{"Hiryo"}

Youma in it's path, and Ranma leapt forward into the spiral.  He was
hurled at the tree faster then he
could run.  As he was flung forward Ranma's lip curled into a confident
smirk.  The wind was dying out, and a wall of Youma had formed in his
path.  He hands came together, and the energy of his will and confidence
formed there.  "Roaring Lion Bullet!" he roared as the attack blasted
the wall apart and struck the base of
the tree.  Ranma staggered and hit the ground rolling as his impromptu
flight ended.  The Youma came from everywhere to stop him.  He rolled to
his feet and began dodging with all his remaining speed.  Half a minute
later he he performed another Hiro-Shoten-Ha, in it's typical vertical
form to give himself some breathing room.  He then cursed to himself.
"Their still coming?!"  He started his spiral dance once again.  "Whose

{"They're"}

bright idea was this anyway?" he asked, knowing the answer.  <I just
hope it's working, I don't know how long I can keep this up.>  Already
his body was showing several minor cuts from close calls.  <I've got to
keep drawing their attention.>

    Cologne shook her head in a wistful manner as she generated an
explosive ground wave,  (based on the breaking point), to clear out a
path.  She gazed occasionally at Ranma's last seen position.  <The boy's
plan seems to be working, but for how long, and at what price?>

    The Youma had indeed thinned in their area, drawing back a bit upon
Ranma's explosive departure, and splitting their forces to prevent him
getting to the giant tree.  The lessened pressure allowed the Senshi too

{"to"}

press forward ever closer to their objective.  Cologne broke yet another
wave of Youma before noticing a
twister ahead and too the right.  <So the boy still lives.  I wonder for

{"to"}

how much longer?>

{Damn!  Wish I'd gotten a sperm sample.}

    Cologne heard Sestuna, <She's calling herself Sailor Pluto now>
call to the girl with the glave.

{"Setsuna", "glaive"  You need a clearer description of what Saturn
does.}

    Sailor Moon nodded, and with a flash of radiant light, transformed
once more.  She stood now, taller somehow, in a flowing white dress.

{"radiant light" is redundant.}

The Senshi followed her as she walked quickly towards the tree.  Sailor
Moon, now Serenity, called forth the power of the Silver Crystal and
blasted the tree with every bit of her power.

  Off to the right, a few moments back, Ranma had just ended his forth
Hiro-Shoten-Ha in a row.  The Youma were eagerly generating most of the

{"fourth"  That sentence has a strange and unpleasant ring to it.}

  A little less then half a minute later a tremendous beam of white
light Shot out from the spot the Youma were heading for and struck the
giant tree.  Ranma picked up speed, heading for the source of light,

{"shot"}

 It was a
seedling of Ygstereal, corrupted but still incredibly powerful.  Even
so, it wouldn't last much longer.

{Where the heck did you get that from?  "Yggdrasil"}

    The woman in the middle, more of a girl really, with long black hair
and a light if heathy complexion, grined.  "And we're here to help."

{You mean she has pale skin?  "grinned"}

  He blinked at it as it came into view.  <A
Tanaka statue?>

{"tanuki"}

   Serenity concentrated on letting the silver crystal heal her then
focused on the tree.  "Not quite.  There's still one thing to do."  She
gathered the crystals power and let it go, right at the tree....

{"crystal's"}

Not a bad massive battle, but desperately needed proofreading.  
Actually, I'd remove the moments when Akane worried about Ranma in the 
middle of the fight, and just have her stop once all the fighting is 
over on her end and wonder, "If we had this much trouble with only four,
how is Ranma going to survive against thousands?", providing a segue 
into the Dark Kingdom action.