(Delurk) Hadn't exactly planned on this Spamfic as my first
posted story, but that's life, ne?  Like most of my stories, it came
about from one of my frequent rambling  thought trains.  In this case,
it was about how Ranma is the default  cross-over series of choice,
even when it's far from the best  choice.  (Like I've seen at least
four different Ranma/WoT series  when they have nothing in common. 
I'd love to see something like a  *Slayers*/WoT story.  Aes Sedia +
Xelloss = Happy Thoughts.   Mmmmmm.)  Ahem, yes, well, I came up with
quite a few ideas that  time. This... isn't one of them.  It's silly,
deranged, and would  take someone considerably crazier and more
talented than I to pull  it off.  It was, however, one of those
damnable things that simply  Will Not Go Away until you write it out. 
So I did, and here it is.   Anyone who fits the above requirements is
quite welcome to have a go  at it themselves.

             **********************************

       Somewhere, deep inside the NERV Geofront, four people waited in
a room.  They had been there for some time, and had all passed their
boredom threshold  long ago.  It's an interesting phenominon, but what
people do when  they're bored can reveal a great deal about their
inner personality.   Come on, let's try it.

       Misato lounged, somehow making the chair look far more
comfortable then it really was. Rei sat stiffly upright, somehow
making the chair look far less  comfortable then it really was. Shinji
slouched, doing his best Zen  Monk impression, trying to become One
with the chair. Asuka sat...;  well, actually Asuka didn't sit.  Asuka
paced the room impatiantly,  seething over a photo, quietly for the
moment.

       That moment didn't last long.  Reaching the end of her temper
(again), she rounded on the rest of the group and demanded, "Why are
we still waiting here!   It's been almost an hour, what's so special
about a new pilot that  we have to sit around waiting like this?!"

       "I don't know any more than you do," Misato wearily replied.
"Gendo just said  something about her being special, even for one of
the Children, and  that she and her Father might get held up by a few
final tests  before we get to be introduced to them."

       "Well they're certainly proving that she's 'special', to do
this to us.  Probably some  pampered rich kid that needs extra time to
pass the physicals.  But  I still don't like this, something feels
wrong about it all.  And  does she look 14 to you?"  Asuka angrily
shoved the photo under  Shinji's nose.

       Shinji had to admit to himself that she didn't.  Despite the
cheerful, innocent grin on her face, she filled out the blue and white
sailor suit with a figure that could make Misato jellous. And the long
lavender hair was  definately out of place for a young school girl. 
"Well, I guess she  does look a bit on the, umm, *adult* side..."

       "Hentai!" Asuka snached the photo back, "You're not supposed to
drool over it, baka.  I just want to know what the Commander meant by
'She's going to be a  suprise.  A real suprise, for everyone.'  I
don't like the sound of  that."

       Rei finally decided to join in the conversation.  "He smiled
when he said it.  That means  he knows what he's doing."  Actually,
she wasn't feeling nearly as  confidant as her words sounded.  She did
find Gendo's 'I know more that you do' smiles reasuring, but she also
knew him well enough to  know that it wasn't one of them.  If she
didn't know better, she'd  have almost thought that it looked...
worried.

       Asuka just snorted.  "Yes, well just because he *thinks* he
knows what he's doing,  doesn't mean-"

       She was cut off by the door opening.  Framed in it were the
girl from the picture and an older man, looking to be in his late 30's
or early 40's.  He was  wearing a rumpled once-white lab coat, and his
scraggly brown hair  almost compleatly obscured his eyes.  "Hello! 
Sorry about the wait,  but we were... unavoidable detained.  Ah, but
introductions first,  right daughter?"

       "Hai, Papa-san.  Hello everyone!!  My name is Nuku-Nuku!."

                         **********

    That Deranged Part of my Brain Productions presents:

                  ALL-PURPOSE EVANGELION!

         Not coming to a mailing-list anytime soon.

                         **********

       Author's Notes: This line of reasoning went something along the
lines of "Hmmm, now what other anime characters could  work as Eva
pilots?  Well, they have  be young.  Hey, Nuku- Nuku's a cat, actually
looked like a kitten in  the intro bit, she's gotta be under 14!"  And
then this scene just  wouldn't go away.  Couple'a notes for anyone who
wants to try this.   The events of APCCGNN have to be advanced to
start after the second  impact.  If Nuku was a kitten, then NGE is 10
years after it, so you  can resolve it however you wish.  Or (more
interesting IMO)   Nuku-Nuku is about 13 when the series starts, so
that it all happens  just before/concurrent with NGE.  I'd imagine
that Mishima would be  a major supplier for NERV, which would put an
even more interesting  spin on events. (Akiko vs. Genou.  Damn, I
don't know if I should  buy ringside tickets or run screaming for the
hills.)


"I find you can never mean what you say unless you say what you mean.." - Centauri MoD

"Never play an Ace when a Two will do." - the Red Dragon

"It's that moment of dawning comprehension that I live for." - Hobbes
          
Adam G.D. Panshin
apanshin@hampshire.edu