Alright..This deemed a nice C&C..or something close to what you could call
that.

And its snippy fic time..
<SNIP>


C&C and such forth begins after quoted paragraph and all that technical
crap..

This story concept and all the characters and stuff are property of
Aaron Shattuck, who should be very sorry he created them, but isn't. So
there!

Remember folks, cute little girls with magical
wands deserve to die. It's in the constitution!

While this...improfic(I'll never get used to that,even if it catches on),
was a "interesting" read, and the overall writing style was nice..The
violence and overall OOC of it was bad.  Hayama, you ask, how could an
original fic be OOC? Well, I'll tell you. Being a big fan of Mahou
Shoujo(Magical Girl), Captain Kawaii(I don't think any self-respecting mahou
shoujo would be caught dead with that name)was a tad too violent for any
mahou shoujo that ever existed. Granted, Minky Momo was hit by a mac truck
and there is occasional violence in the shows, the overall theme is for
little girls. It is not sadistic. So, to sum it up and get the hell off the
soapbox, it was a good write, interesting concept, good character
development from the 2 main characters but the "enemy" was extremely OOC for
any MS character.  Thank you, and have a pleasant day. I expect to be
wearing the abestos suit by 3:00pm tomorrow tho..<shrugs>


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Hayama Akito,
Member of the Mahou Shoujo Collective(with a total of 1 member! Woohoo!) and
all around nice guy.

hayama@home.com

Feel free to send comments, flames, and so forth.

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