Red-head MST...
(We start out on a very badly constructed red ship. We tour the nook and
crannies of the place. On one side the words, "Red Dwarf" appear. If you know
where this is going, then good for you. Anyway, a blue light appears in a
corridor. Then the gang falls out.)
Kasumi's voice: Warning! Bakas on board the Dwarf. Repeat, Bakas on board the
Dwarf.
(Everyone looks up.)
Ryo-ok-hi: Miyaa?
Washu: Yes, that was Kasumi, Ryo-ok-hi.
Ranma: How could she ever say "baka?" I thought...
Akane's voice: Freeze, perverts! (Everyone raises their hands.)
Ranma: Great, I should have known...
Akane: Okay, I don't know who you are or where you come from, but you need not
pop out of nowhere.
Lina: Lady, we're not gonna harm you.
Ryouga: Oh...um...
Akemi: All I have to ask is there a bar on this ship?
Akane: Bar...bar...there is one, but I use it as my dinning hall. I can't really
stand the cafeteria.
Andrew: So, you are...
Akane: Akane Tendo. The last survivor of the Red Dwarf ship. I am a cook by
trade.
Ranma (mumbling): No wonder she's the last survivor. (Akane promptly shoots at
Ranma, injuring his shoulder.) Damn! (He falls over, winces.)
Luna: Now that was uncalled for.
A-ko: Yeah, shouldn't you just mallet him or something?
Akane: Nah, I only use the mallet on people who should be neutered. Anyway, I'll
get the medic on you, as soon as you're put into jail. (An image of Gourry's head
appears.)
Lina & Luna: Gourry?
Gourry: Oh, hi, Lina! What are you two doing here? You should have died 20 years
ago?
Akane: You can ID them, Gourry?
Gourry: Yeah, this is Lina Inverse, and Luna is her sister. Evil sister.
Lina: Well, what are you doing here?
Gourry: I'm one of the two supercomputers on this ship.
Akane: The other one being Kasumi. (Kasumi's head appears.)
Kasumi: Oh, my! That pig-tail god is hurt. (Everyone looks up at Kasumi.)
Akane: Unfortunately, these two are really just humans that got trapped in the
computer.
Akemi: Don't you hate when that happens?
Akane: Okay, I'm gonna put you guys in here. Kasumi, give them a film or
somethin', okay? Don't try to break out of here, okay?
Kasumi: I'm processing a film right now.
*****
On Wed, 16 Sep 1998, Hallstrom Consultants wrote:
Date: Wed, 16 Sep 1998 11:36:41 -0400
From: Hallstrom Consultants <hallcon@mindspring.com>
To: ffml@fanfic.com
Subject: [FFML] [R1/2] R&A:ALS Prolouge and Chpt. 1 A Revised and extended.
Well! Lots of C&C, for which much thanks. Herewith a second draft, revised
and
extended with what would have been part B. Hopefully the new part B will be
out
by tomorrow, or, at worst, the weekend. Chapter 1 should have 3 parts and the
author's notes at the end may clear up _some_ of the fog anyway.
Andrew: There's only a 1/3 mile visiblity with this fog.
Disclaimer: The playground is by Rumiko Takahashi, I'm only playing
in it. Remember to leave the grounds cleaner than you found them and
please don't feed the Troll.
Ranma: Have you noticed how Happousai sometimes acts like Golem from "The
Hobbit?"
Ryouga: Huh? I'm still going over that "Nekohaten" song...
*This is a sound.*
A-ko: *Crash.*
'This is a thought.'
Andrew: 'I think Lina is soooo cuuutte!' (Lina snuggles up to Andrew.)
Lina: Really? (Andrew big sweats.)
_This is emphasis._
Luna (Sighing): Sis, don't get _so_ caught up in love.
{This is a sign.}
Akemi: {I saw the sign, and it opened my mind I saw the sign...}
<This is Chinese.>
Washu: Unfortunately, no one here speaks fluent Chinese. Of course, I am fluent
in over a billion other forms of communication...
(Everyone ducks.)
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Ryouga: Man, that line is a killer!
*Shnnnck*, *ssshhpt*, *ssshhpt*, *ssshhpt*.
A-ko: Sounds like that annoying sound when you're trying to sip the last of the
fruit punch.
Rain. Postcard. Kitchen. Bed. Dojo. Bricks. "FIANCE?!" Girl. Panda.
Fight. CLONG! GROWF! Knock. Ranma.
Andrew: Pervert. Unlucky. Glomp. Glomp. Injury. Insurance. Tag. Oni. "Darling?!"
Girl. Strong. Glomp. Glomp. Electricity. Toast. Insurance. Ataru.
Seen it before, yes? In your sleep, behind your back, with a bad
hand, in the rain, right?
Ranma: But I *will* not eat green eggs and ham, I will not eat them Sam I Am...
*Shnnnck*, *ssshhpt*, *ssshhpt*, *ssshhpt*.
Lina: Geeze, when will people learn how to drink properly?!?!
This story doesn't start like that.
Ryouga: Oh.
*Shnnnck*, *ssshhpt*, *ssshhpt*, *ssshhpt*.
_This_ story starts in darkness, late on a warm summer night
without an artificial light for miles. _This_ story starts in a forest
clearing lit by several billion stars and the thin sliver of a gibbous
moon.
Ryouga: "And they danced to the light of the moon, of the moon, /and they danced
to the light of the moon."
Andrew: Hey, where's that from?
Ryouga: It's from a poem entitled, "The Owl and the Pussycat." (Looks at the
camera.) And, no, IT'S NOT A LEMON!!!
*Shnnnck*, *ssshhpt*, *ssshhpt*, *ssshhpt*.
Luna: A-ko, you are right. It is getting annoying.
_This_ story starts with a male figure stripped to the waist,
using a bamboo handled shovel to *Shnnnck* loosen and turn earth that
will be *ssshhpt*, *ssshhpt*, *ssshhpt* removed and tossed to the side.
Andrew: And then afterwards, he'll strip the rest of it off and drink a Diet
Coke for all the girls at the Girls School Academy to see. (Lina promptly turns
Andrew into a girl, except Andrew now looks like Princess Serena. Andrew looks
down.) Man, I hate long hair...
*Shnnnck*, *ssshhpt*, *ssshhpt*, *ssshhpt*.
Figure about a half cubic foot of earth loosened and dug up per
sequence.
*Shnnnck*, *ssshhpt*, *ssshhpt*, *ssshhpt*.
Figure a hole 6 feet long, by 3 feet wide, by 5 feet deep.
*Shnnnck*, *ssshhpt*, *ssshhpt*, *ssshhpt*.
Times 8.
*Shnnnck*, *ssshhpt*, *ssshhpt*, *ssshhpt*.
For those who have not been following along on their abaci, that's
1440 *shnnnck*s and 4320 *ssshhpt*s.
Washu: Darn Mathematica, Maple, Derive, Newton...did I leave anything out?!
*Shnnnck*, *ssshhpt*, *ssshhpt*, *ssshhpt*.
In just less than 8 hours. Including wrapping the bodies, and
filling in the graves.
Andrew-chan: Sadly, through, the bodies were of the Bear's hopes of winning a
game, Mousse's chances dating Shampoo, and Dan Quayle's chances of winning the
nomination.
*Shnnnck*, *ssshhpt*, *ssshhpt*, *ssshhpt*.
For what were, self-admittedly, bandits and highwaymen. Desperate
criminals who, caught by the authorities, would assuredly have
been hung, and the bodies left to rot.
Luna: Not unless you're President Clinton...
*Shnnnck*, *ssshhpt*, *ssshhpt*, *ssshhpt*.
For men who, knowing this, and knowing the digger for a ronin, and
hence both dangerous and broke, had nonetheless attempted to rob him.
For men without honor or martial skill, who had fallen like weeds
before the scythe. For outlaws who, had they somehow triumphed, would
have spent not an iota of such effort for the traveller.
A-ko: Of course, that was *before* they discovered the traveller had a passport,
a Visa, Mastercard, American Express, Discover, and the Diners' Card.
*Shnnnck*, *ssshhpt*, *ssshhpt*, *ssshhpt*.
Because honor and respect are paid _by_ the digger, and not _to_ the
dug for? Because even scum and bandits are human, and are owed some
kind of marker?
Ranma: Geeze, please, don't get to deep *this* early in the morning...
*Shnnnck*, *ssshhpt*, *ssshhpt*, *ssshhpt*.
Because the duty owed by a slayer to his own soul demands a
remembrance of the slain, lest they die twice? Or simply because it
was necessary that the service be preformed and no one else is around
to do it?
Lina: Damn.
Luna: What?
Lina: *Now* I'll have to think about this _before_ I kill the next guy.
*Shnnnck*, *ssshhpt*, *ssshhpt*, *ssshhpt*.
The digger jumps out of the last grave, places the final body in
its' final resting place and says a final abbreviated prayer. Filling
the grave takes little time, building the cairn of stones to mark
the burial takes a little longer, preparing to move again longer
still.
Ryouga (imitating the digger): This is the fifth time I had to bury Kenny this
week...those bastards!
And then the figure pauses, and looks down the road by the forest
clearing, and looks behind at the road already travelled, and looks up
to a sky just beginning to lighten in the east, and becomes briefly
still.
Ranma (singing): Give me land, lots of land, with the starry skies above...don't
fence me in...
It had been less than three days between incidents. Both faces were
becoming targets of local toughs and fast swords. He had been forced
to kill more than 45 times in the past month.
A-ko: And as we know, there can be only one...
Or had he? His skill was great after all. He was fast and strong and
capable of techniques that your average thug, or even ronin, wouldn't
dare dream of attempting. Had it simply become easier to kill than not
to? And what did that say of *his* soul, in the end?
Washu: Well...he'll be in puragatory for a while. Like until the Clippers win
the World Title.
Perhaps it was time to try somewhere else? After all there _was_
less than a year to go. It really was time to get back where he
belonged. Time to go somewhere you could defeat someone _without_
killing them. Time to go back to what was, theoretically, home.
Andrew-chan: And theoretically, there was a wife, 2.3 kids, and 2 dogs and 4
cats. All on a $150,000 salary.
And the traveller reached into his shirt, and pulled out an amulet
of silver, and clay and glass, and raised it high.
Ranma: Hmm...must be five o'clock.
And the rising sun shone down on a clearing in a forest by a road,
on which was now to be seen no traveller, nor footprints, nor anything
else at all.
Ranma: Great, I'm that Kung-Fu guy!
Ryouga: Never mind that, here comes that line again! (Everyone ducks.)
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Shadow Lurker Productions...
(Everyone ducks again.)
----------------------------------------------------------------------
And this is a bar in China where a man is sitting by himself in a
corner, getting stinking drunk. 'Oh Buddha, I'm doomed. How did I let
this happen? Nodoka's going to _kill_ me. Where _did_ that ungrateful
boy get to? Why did I have to try that _stupid_ training technique?
Ranma: Good question, pops.
Nodoka's going to _kill_ me. Who knows what sillyness he'll have
picked up without me? I'll never have enough time to train him out of
his bad habits now! Nodoka's going to _kill_ me.'
Akemi: 2-1 odds say Genma won't get out of this scene alive.
'Now now, Genma, get ahold of yourself; you trained him for seven
years and he's surely a man-among-men, and hardship toughens you up,
and he's certainly alive even if you can't find hide nor hair of him,
and he promised on his honor, and he never breaks a promise, and you'll
get to Jhusenkyou first and get a good look at the ground so you'll
have an advantage in the fight, and he won't be as good as you anyway
cause he didn't have you to keep an eye on him, and you'll have _weeks_
to fix his bad habits, and... Oh Buddha, Nodoka's going to !kill! me.'
Lina: If being afraid of cats is a bad habit, then I don't want to know what's
considered a fear. (Everyone ducks again, twice.)
----------------------------------------------------------------------
...Is very proud to present...
(Everyone ducks again.)
----------------------------------------------------------------------
And this is Fukuoka, a port city on Kyushu where a person who is
apparently a somewhat bishonen lad packing a _huge_ spatula is
bargaining for a boat ride to China. She'd tracked Genma to China at
last and this time her family's honor _would_ be cleared, one way or
another.
Ryouga: And then roast him on an open fire. With garlic.
And this is a small village in Qing-Hai where the local champion is
preparing to defend her title. And wondering where a warrior husband
strong enough for her to marry was going to come from anyway.
A-ko: Not in your lifetime, Shampoo... Ah, not those lines again! (Everyone
ducks again.)
----------------------------------------------------------------------
...An Eric Hallstrom Production...
(And again.)
----------------------------------------------------------------------
And this is a bedroom in a dojo in a suburb of Tokyo, where a
certain girl is preparing for bed; after all, there's school in the
morning. School. And boys. Yay.
Ranma: Thrilled, aren't we Akane?
Andrew-chan: I don't think so.
She'd tried, she really had. She'd tried to find one she could
stand to date. She'd tried to get the usual pack of fools to _stop_
their foolishness, peacefully and otherwise. It just hadn't worked.
Luna: As Akane ever thought about hiring a lawyer?
'Every school day, _every_ school day. For more than a year. I'm
a Junior now, I'm supposed to be past hazing aren't I? They're
supposed to be at least a little mature aren't they? Or at least
tired of getting beaten up all the time?'
Washu: Nah.
Every day, for more than a year. And she hadn't lost, and she
hadn't given up... but neither had they. And she was tired, so tired.
And Tendo Akane went to bed, hoping for something to break her out
of a losing rut. And went to sleep, although she didn't want to.
After all, there was school in the morning.
Luna: She needs some bodyguards. That's what she needs.
(Everyone ducks again.)
----------------------------------------------------------------------
...Of a Takahashi Rumiko Film.
(Yet again.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
And this is a small apartment, likewise in Nerima. And in it a man
last seen in a forest clearing is performing a slow kata. A very old
kata, were anyone else in Japan today capable of recognizing it. A kata
not of attack, or evasion, or defence ... but rather of remembrance.
Of a Bargain that was made, and a Prize that could be gained, and a
Price that must be paid. A very old bargain, that has something to do
with Iron.
Akemi: Don't tell me that Ranma is the "Baka in the Iron Mask."
Andrew-chan: Actually, I thought Ranma had a serious handicap problem.
Akemi: Handicap problem?
Andrew-chan: In his golf game.
Ranma: How did you know I took up golf?
Andrew-chan: I figured it out when you had those letters mailed to Se Ri
Pak.
And he too is hoping, and waiting for the morning. He hadn't had to
kill anyone yet, but in every other way the last several months had
been a disaster. Oh well, perhaps he simply wasn't _meant_ for romance?
Ranma: He don't know me too well, do he?
After all, father had probably provided for a marriage long ago, and
while he didn't like it, he had accepted it for the sake of family
honor. Actually falling in love with someone was probably tempting
fate.
Ryouga: If you call fate a mallet, a couple of bonboris, and a spatula.
Which brought up an issue, actually; what face was he going to
wear? Flip a coin? Tails. Female. So be it. 'Now get to bed Ranma,
you've got school in the morning.'
Ranma: You know, I'm not usually this calm.
Akemi: Must be those prozac shots you've been taking.
(Everyone ducks again.)
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Ranma and Akane, A Love Story
Washu: Featuring Raquel Welsh as Akane and Rob Morrison as Ranma! (Everyone
ducks again.)
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Chapter 1, The first day.
Part A. Arrival. Here's Ranma.
This is the story of a boy who was a girl, and a girl, and a boy,
and a girl, and a boy, and a girl, and a girl who acts like a boy, and
a boy who acts like a girl, and a woman, and a man, and another couple
girls, and a cast of thousands. Oh, and a Panda, can't forget the
Panda.
Andrew-chan (imitating Kenny Mayne): And even with your degroratory credit, you
can buy a new car.
Ryouga: And let's not forget the cat, the duck, the yeti/crane/bull mess, and
the other girl.
It's the story of a school, and another school, and another school;
of a city, and a village, and all the roads in between. It's a story
of desperate battle, and deadly opponents, and when it gets to be the
story of monsters and villians who attempt to attack these schools and
so on it will instead become the story of monsters and villians who
turn around and run away again.
Washu: Okay...I think I got it.
Akemi: Kenneth Starr must have wrote this story.
It will have true love, and desperate peril, and romantic intervals
and high adventure and more martial arts action sequences than you can
shake a bokken at. And just a touch of citrus, for flavor. But before
we get to all that, it will be the story of a Fight.
Ranma: And always about the fight.
Some schools are known for academics and some are known for sports.
Furinkan High, in Nerima ward, is known for the Fight. Every school
day for more than a year, all the boys had either lain in wait to
"win the right to date the fair and beauteous tiger Tendo Akane"
(i.e. beat her up) or, if they had done that recently, had attempted
to heal up for the Fight tomorrow.
A-ko: And what are the rest of the girls...chopped sushi?!
The girls all thought the whole thing was a ploy by Akane to keep
the attention of the entire male student populace and had no sympathy
for either side. The populace of the neighborhood thought it was High
Theatre (not much else happened in Nerima). Tendo Nabiki, Akane's
sister thought it had gone much too far, but could think of no viable
way to stop something that no longer had a real reason except
tradition. And Tendo Akane vanquished her opponents, and ignored the
whispers, and grew ever grimmer.
Andrew-chan (imitating Akane): And soon, I'll be using more than mallets to
defeat those bakas!
And today will be no different, after all it never is at Furinkan.
All the normal players are in place: here is the assembled might of
Furinakan's male student body, prepared to do battle in heroic
sillyness for a prize they no longer remember; here are the observers
waiting for a sight they've seen before, and grown bored of; and here
is Akane herself grimly preparing to fight for a point of honor she
can no longer care about; all just as it was yesterday and the day
before. And now Akane has broken into a run at her tormentors, and now
the battle is about to be joined. But now, noe something different
_has_ happened.
Ryouga: Okay, who messed up with the script?!
Now a voice has called out, not even very loudly. A smokey
contralto with a slight edge of roughness, and power enough to crack
the world. A voice that merely by its presence has controlled the
situation. A voice that belongs to a short redheaded girl standing in
the gateway to the school. She wears loose black pants, battle
slippers, a loose red silk shirt and a bomber jacket. Her hair flows
down her back in a pigtail tied with an ivory ring in which gems gleam
brightly in the sun, her neck is wrapped by a flowing white silk scarf,
her hands are in her jacket pockets, her head is slightly tilted to one
side and she has just said "_What_ is going on here?".
(Ranma splashes water on himself.)
Ranma-chan: Oh, excuse me, I thought this was the Justice H.S....
And nothing will ever be the same again.
(Everyone ducks. Ryo-ok-hi gets hit.)
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Ryo-ok-hi: Miyaooooo!
Washu: Oh, no, my cabbit's hurt!
Kasumi's voice: A medic will come by shortly.
Takuichi Daikun was not a happy kendoist. He had striven and won in
honorable combat for the privilege of leading today's charge so that
the entire school could see his honorable struggle with the fair Tendo
Akane (he's the first to get beaten up today). It was a great honor to
be first, and he had looked forward to it. But now his moment in the
sun had been _ruined_, upstaged by some ... barbarian _girl_ ... and
his honor had been shadowed. And so it was that he did a _very_
foolish thing: he got her attention.
Luna: Then again, this is Takewaki we're talking about...
"This is an affair of _Honor_ girl, who are you to..."
Ranma-chan: Boot in the head!!!
Somehow she had moved across the dozen yards separating them without
his seeing it. Up close he noted that her eyes were an incredible
blue as deep as all the worlds' oceans, that several slight lines of
old scars crossed the sides of her face, that her gaze was literaly
_impossible_ to look away from, and that she had just tapped him on
the nose.
"My name is Ranma, and you haven't answered my question."
Ranma-chan: Where were you on the night of April 16, 1992?!
From far away he heard his voice stammering some sort of explanation
for the mornings action. Now that he thought about it, it did seem sort
of silly.
"Ah. I see. and what was your place in this ... "honorable combat"."
Ryouga (imitating Kuno): I'm the number two challenger. Winner takes on Akane.
Loser takes on Akuma.
"I have won the right to first contact today. It is a very great
honor." He hadn't really said that had he? He hadn't meant to.
Washu: So, you're gonna contact some aliens or something like that?
A-ko: Not that Jodie Foster movie again...
"Ah. Well I certainly wuldn't wish to deprive you of your... "honor"."
The hands that broke his shoulder blades and dislocated his arms were
certainly gentle he thought, though unstoppable in their power. The
snap kicks that flattened his testicles and broke both of his lower
legs skillfully applied and blinding in their speed.
Lina: Now that description we don't need!
The twin open hand
push that flung him 30 feet backwards was so fast and yet so graceful
as to be beyond belief. And was that an energy discharge from the point
of contact? 'Why, it doesn't even hurt' he thought as he flew backwards
through the air. Until 5 feet before hitting the wall, when it hurt a
_lot_. The unconsciousness that followed after hitting the wall was
probably a mercy.
Ryouga: I doubt it.
Ranma-chan: Now, if you will excuse me, I've got a kendoist to disassemble. I've
always wondered what's inside his head.
Ranma turned to the remaining assembled male Furinkanery and
bestowed upon them the calm, angelic smile of someone who is wondering
how far your arm can be pulled from its' socket before the flesh and
ligaments separate, and whether beating you to death with it will
require one subsequent blow or two.
A-ko: Hey, guys. I think this is your cue to run.
Above, Nabiki stared down in shock. Well _that_ was different.
"Now I was sitting in a tavern in country far away a couple months
back," she remarked conversationally, "trying to get something to eat.
Andrew-chan: The Cantina at Tatooine...you'll never find more vile bunch of
villianeous scum in all the galaxy.
And the door opened and in walked the nastiest trio of villians you
ever did lay eyes on. They were dragging along a youngish girl who
really didn't seem to want to be there, what with the torn clothing and
the bruises and all, and in ... speaking ... to them it developed that
yeah they had kidnapped her, and yeah they had done what you think
they'd done, and oh yeah just cause they _could_, cause no-one could
stop em."
Ranma-chan: I'll say this about Sailor Moon: she doesn't have any experience
with fighting against thugs.
She shook her head in dismay. "So I ripped the big one's heart out,
and broke the second's neck and used a chair to crush the skull of the
one who was running away. Because it was the right thing to do."
(Everyone hums the "Born to be Wild" song.)
Nabiki registered further shock. Well, that _was_ different.
"Now I'm not saying that this case is exactly similar, mind you, but
you do know how badly you've been insulting the other girls in the
school, right?"
Furinkanery male assembled quivered in terror and huddled together.
"And while I myself am the most gentle and reasonable of people, I
understand that _other_ people aren't and if they", she waved her hand
at the watchers above, "should decide to hold a _grudge_, well...
Things could become ... dire."
Ranma-chan: Geeze, I sound like that Lamas character in "Outlaw."
Washu: Yeah, that was such a bad early 90's TV show.
Ranma-chan: You'd think I would have a motorcycle.
Andrew-chan: And a god/goddess granting you a wish, and she brings two other
goddess siblings that makes Akane and Nabiki seem like nice girls, and things
like that.
The word "dire" seemed to resonate with especial doom.
"And continued for a whole _year_? Why I doubt if _any_ amount of
flowers would help. You'd have to escalate straight to chocolate or
even jewelery even to get a chance to plead your cases."
Lina: Or in President Clinton's case, letting Hillary run the country for a
year.
Ranma shook her head sadly at the fate that no doubt awaited them.
"And here you are still standing here."
Washu: I *TOLD* you should run!!!
Furinkanery.male assembled blanched further and scrambled en masse
for the door to the fire within that was nonetheless much preferrable
to the pitying but merciless gaze without, only to be recalled to heel.
"Oh and by the way gentlemen... if it _should_ happen that intense
currying _does_ grant you the no-doubt-undeserved opportunity to plead
for your miserable lives... my advice to you would be to grovel, and to
grovel quite abjectly."
Nabiki wonderd if you could overload on shock. That had been
_different_. And then looked about her, and heard the all but audible
grinding of the gears in the other female onlookers, and then sprinted
for the door. A phone, she had to get to a phone.
Luna: Now you'd _think_ the girls would have been grinning with evil glee.
Ranma crossed her arms in front of her chest and shook her head
sadly at the mass of boyish sillyness franticly cramming itself through
Furinkan's front doors, and turned sheepishly to Akane, who was still
standing where she had been about to knock Daikun into next week and
whose mouth was still open in shock.
Luna (imitating Akane): My life's purpose is gone...
"Aheh", she tugged on her braid, "sorry about that. Sometimes I get
carried away."
Akane shook herself and closed her mouth. "No, not at all. You were
_wonderful_! I'm Tendo Akane, wanna be friends?"
Kasumi: Medic arriving. (A medic arrives and tends to a very hurt Ryo-ok-hi.)
"Sure!" Ranma's eyes lit. Akane was staggered again by their power.
"If you've been going through that every day for a _year_ you _need_
a friend and it's always nice to make one the first day. I'm Bushiko
Ranma." She extended her hand, pinky outstretched and Akane linked
hers likewise.
Ranma-chan: I guess any last name is better than "Saotome."
Talking quietly they walked in the door and up the stairs.
"Tendo Akane, huh? "Scarlet Road to Heaven", how lovely."
Akane felt her cheeks heat. "Um, thanks! Um, Bushiko?"
"It's a nom de guerre", Ranma explained sunnily, "long story, I'll
tell you later."
Ranma-chan: Nom de guerre...isn't that french for a supreme pizza?
Everyone else: Ranma!
"The heck with _that_ story; _how_ did you do that _push_? That was
_great_!"
"You think so? It's not that hard: you just..."
And walked happily to class, and smiled merrily upon the cringing
boys therin, and did _not_ gloat. At least, not on the outside.
Ranma-chan: You know, if being a girl can be this cool...
Ryouga: Oh, brother...by the way, duck!
(Everyone ducks for the final time.)
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Next: part B; Encampment: Kuno strikes out.
--
I have a defective CD that was never aluminized or labelled. It's cool.
So you have the complete set of bug-free MS software?
-Peter da Silva and Paul Joslin, a.s.r
-Eric Hallstrom
Eric Hallstrom hallcon@mindspring.com
(Kasumi's head appears.)
Kasumi: Game over.
Andrew-chan: Wait a minute, this isn't a game!
(Akane walks in with Lum, who has a "h" on her forehead.)
Akane: Okay, folks, who are you?
Washu: We're from another alternative universe.
Akane: And?
Luna: And we're hopping through different universes to find our way back home.
Andrew-chan: Except mine, which we already passed through. I don't exactly want
to come back home.
Ranma-chan: Because...oh yeah. We "killed" you there, didn't we?
Akemi: So I drank a Moltov Cocktail...big deal.
Lum: Well, I must have your device. I really can't let you escape.
Ryouga: Why?
Lum: I'm a Princess. And I make the laws around here.
Lina: Yeah, but you kinda look transparent.
Lum: Oh, I better make an adjustment...(she does so, now she looks like a real
anime character) there, better?
Akane: Perhaps a bit of lightning will convince you to stay, ne?
Kasumi: Attention, there's a nice and clean planet 1.2 light years away. Shall
we orient ourselves to this planet? (Akane & Lum look to Kasumi.)
Lum: Sure.
Akane: Why not. (They turn back. Everyone else is gone.) Hey, where did they go?
Kasumi: They are on deck D. Now they're running back.
Akane: I see they met our chained idiot.
Lum: You mean that Blue Thunder guy?
Kasumi: And they dropped that device you were asking about.
Lum: Great. Now we'll never get it!
Will Akane kill Ranma? Will Andrew become a Sailor Moon? And will Gourry rejoin
Lina on her quest for a better restaurant? Find out these and other answers next
week on...
Red-head MST!
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Fin