The story you are about to read is true. The names have not been changed to
protect the sane.
Lunatic Fringe Fanfic Productions is proud to present....
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Once upon a time, there was a magical kingdom of stories. It was a wondrous
place, filled with creativity, and uniqueness, and that special verb that
resonates around those special few gifted with a talent for the ancient craft
of Wordsmithing.
For a very long time, this kingdom existed in a state of chaos, flickering in
turbulence along the mysterious, electronic ethers it drifted on, fully
understood by only a few.
And then, one day, a great Wolf appeared, with fine, long fur, as White as the
purest snow. And he exerted his will upon the ether, and brought a measure of
order to the chaos, a place where the eternal turbulence of the Fan's Fiction
would settle in upon itself, existing with only an occasional List to it.
And the writers came, in great numbers, and populated this new and fertile
land with their stories.
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"Searching for Tybalt."
-by Mercutio
Copyright 1998, Matthew Giglia.
Starring, in order of descending freakishness.....
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But the time came when the stories became too numerous and lengthy for the
White Wolf to oversee by himself. And so he was forced to delegate authority
to chosen minions, to allow the land to remain moderate.
And from those chosen came the one who would be known as Tybalt.
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The Bad Guys.
************, playing herself,
as Tybalt.
Megumi Hayashibara,
providing the voice of Tybalt.
Gary Kleppe,
as Chief of the FFML Gestapo Securifreaks.
Christopher J. Angel.
as Christopher the Angel, Ranking Member of the Gestapo Securifreaks.
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And Tybalt exerted her authority upon the land, and restored order. But not
the kind of order that was desired of by all, for she had been conferred the
mantle of Ultimate Authority by the White Wolf, and did use it with full
impunity. And there were those who were exiled from the great land of stories
by Tybalt, to never return.
And there were ALSO those who were unhappy with she who was Tybalt, and wished
for a way to protest her existence.
And one of these chose to assume the form of the Bane of Tybalt.
And he became........ Mercutio.
And the one known as Mercutio did make his residence at the very edge of the
land, existing in the borderland known only as the Fringe.
And he contented himself with contributing, in some small way, to the great
melting pot of stories that was the very lifeblood of the land, and with
opposing in his creations the proclamations of Tybalt.
But there came a time when he felt that action must be taken. And so he
gathered together his allies, those who he and others had given life to in
their great works.
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The Good Guys.
Mercutio, Our Hero
as himself.
Ranma Saotome
Ryoga Hibiki
Ukyo Kuonji
and Shampoo, as themselves.
The Sailor Senshi.
as the Sailor Senshi.
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And when he had chosen his small band, Mercutio did resolve to set forth
across the magical kingdom, the land of stories, and to search out and
confront Tybalt in the very heart of her power.
He knew that they would encounter others along the way.
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With celebrity cameos from.....
The Eternal Lost Lurker,
as Crazed Vigilante in Saiyan Armor #1.
White Wolf,
as a magical....well, White Wolf.
Guy Under The Bridge,
as the hideous, loudmouthed, opinionated Troll.
Ikari Shinji,
as himself.
Ikari Gendo,
as himself.
James Earl Jones,
providing the voice of Ikari Gendo.
Ikari Yui,
as Evangelion Unit-01
A large piece of fine New England pine,
as the Giant Wooden Sean Gaffney. (Don't ask)
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But this troubled him not, for he had allies as well as enemies abroad in the
land, and he knew them both well. And he was unafraid, for the kingdom was
known well to him, in both form and substance.
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Filmed on location at......
Boldt Castle,
as The Keep.
Furinkan High School,
as Tybalt's Fortress of Doom.
Undocumented Features,
as the yellow fic road.
An Undisclosed Location (tm)
as Lunatic Fringe Fanfic Productions.
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And though there were those who ridiculed his great enterprise, and claimed
that the undertaking was mad, that the glorious kingdom of stories was nothing
but a "stupid e-mail list," and that he was "spending way too much time in
cyberspace, and when the hell was he going to concentrate on SCHOOL instead of
these things," and furthormore, even went so far to say that, "if you don't
get off that damn computer RIGHT NOW, there is no way in hell you're hitting
the con circuit this year."
But he was not dissuaded.
He was Mercutio.
She was Tybalt.
And that was all he needed to know.
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"Searching for Tybalt."
Coming to soon to the magical kingdom of stor-, er, I mean, to the FFML.
-End Prologue-
Author's Notes: Allright, before the obvious questions are asked, I'll nip
them right in the bud.
Number One: Yes, this is a spoof. A SPOOF. Meaning that nothing is to be taken
seriously. I already KNOW that FFML's history isn't quite like I've described
it. I'm asking for suspension of disbelief here, people.
Number Two: Tybalt's gender. So many people (at LEAST twenty) have asked me
about this I'm going to air it right now, so listen up, I'm not going to
repeat myself.
I believe Tybalt to be a she. I could say WHICH she, but that would involve
breaking promises to several different people, not to mention the fact that it
would be EXTREMELY rude, so don't even ASK, those of you who already have.
I could not possibly write this thing and not refer to Tybalt by a pronoun at
least once without looking odd. So I'm going with "she," because "he" would
involve my knowingly airing disinformation, and I refuse to do that.
So Tybalt will be a "she." Learn to deal, people.
Number Three: Yes, there's going to be final battle. What, did you expect me
to do, turn to the audience at the end of this thing and say "Sorry, folks, we
didn't find her?" I don't think so.
So Tybalt, if you're reading this: as a professional courtesy, I'm offering
you carte blanche on your charachter. Weapons, armor, special abilities,
dialogue (when I actually get around to writing the last scene) everything. If
you want in on this offer, tell me now before I write myself into a corner.
That is all. Enjoy my dementia.
-Mercutio
"A plague 'a both your houses!"