Before we begin... a poem.
I open my mail,
and what do I see?
But a Lurker Lemon,
wHiCh MeNtAlY pOiSoNeD mE!
In this padded room,
I can now see,
that the second CALF won't arrive,
'tIlL tHe EnD oF eTeRnItY!!!
Poor Dark Day,
unfairly MSTed.
By one unskilled in the art,
aNd WhO mAkEs ThE lOt Of Us LoOk ObScEnE!!!
Chris Davies has aged,
and believes his life is in a dark portal.
Don't worry my fellow,
your grand tales will make you immortal.
Great Serpent, Red Serpent,
you gave my sanity a nick,
by using a cucumber,
iN tHe PlAcE oF yOuR... err, never mind.
Now you may think,
that I'm on the third ring of hell,
but it's only a normal week,
rIgHt HeRe On ThE FFML!!!
Okay, back to my regularly scheduled ego str... story. ^_^;
(BTW, my Avatar does NOT screw up the characterizations of those he
meets.)
FFML SENTAI
FIVEMAN
By, The Flashman
(Advent of Tanker)
You imagine yourself acting in one of two ways when you go into
battle for the first time.
You either have this overly unrealistic view of yourself doing
everything and taking out everyone who stands against you, in a
display of unstoppable, invincible and completely-full-of-yourself
egotism.
Or you're like me. You "know" you're going to screw everything up
in a C-Ko-meets-early-episodes-Sailor-Moon-meets-TV-Mihoshi type of
way... unless you don't end up falling to bits from how hard you're
shaking.
It started a day after we found out that Trident was a member of the
Fiveman group the FFML Boss kept mentioning to me.
I was awakened from the first full night's rest I had been allowed
by the piercing wail of Star Trek style klaxons and my room being
bathed in a pulsing red light. (I later learned that this was the
same for Spacey and Trident... but for no one else.)
The view screen on the far side of my room blipped to life and the
face of blonde Nene appeared and said, "Special Investigator
Flashman! Report to FFML Boss's office immediately!"
The image disappeared before I could say anything in reply and I
double timed the Usagi Tsukino Morning Routine (minus the slice of
toast sticking out of my mouth).
About five minutes later, I arrived and found Space Sailor Moon
acting as if she was my female mirror image... and Trident looking as
if he'd been waiting for hours.
"You are late." he said, "This could be serious."
"Hey," I shot back, catching my breath, "I got here as fast as I
could."
Space Sailor Moon pitched in, "Me too!"
"Perhaps," Trident replied as he gave me a level look, "or perhaps
not."
I really HATE it when he does that.
Any sort of reply the two of us would have made, was halted when
that door slid up in it's hyper fast action and FFML Boss called,
"COME. THE TIME OF BICKERING IS PAST. IT IS TIME FOR ACTION."
The three of us walked into the pitch black room and waited for the
glowing white wolf to rest his eyes upon us before I asked, "What's
the deal with the wake-up call?"
"A WILD DEAMON IS ON THE PROWL," FFML Boss replied, "IT IS YOUR DUTY
TO STOP HIM BEFORE HE CAUSES SERIOUS DAMAGE TO THE REALITY FLOW."
For those of you who don't know a Wild Deamon from a Bugrom, here's
a little explanation that I picked up from Trident during my first
week of training.
A Wild Deamon is pure Chaos Energy given form. They're usually born
as a result of a large surge of good or evil dominance in one reality
and are dropped into another at random. I guess it's like the
Multiverse burping.
Their presence alone disrupts minor things in the reality they are
in. For example, if a patch of land that a Wild Deamon walks on used
to be good for growing flowers, it will become unable to do so and
vice versa.
However, their instinct is to find pivotal players in the reality
they land in and take them out, so the reality collapses into pure
Chaos Energy and feeds them.
Most of them are butt ugly... but powerful. In fact, out of all the
Wild Deamons I've ever met, only one of them was good looking.
No... let me rephrase that. She was absolutely, stunningly, breath
takingly and any other good "ly" that pertains to the looks
department, beautiful.
She was also a major player in what happened later in my life... and
she will get her time in the spotlight. Right now, I'll get back to
the important first mission.
"OBSERVE." FFML Boss said as his eyes suddenly changed color from
red to green.
Two glowing green orbs shot from the giant white wolf's eyes and
merged into a larger one in between the four of us. The giant orb
suddenly became a picture of Goku and Vegita, the former's Kame-Hame-
Ha and the latter's Galic Gun (so I don't know the original name, sue
me) locked in combat, struggling for dominance. "Observe the Viewing
Globe." I muttered as the others stared at me like I was from another
planet (which I am).
Both competitors were so heavily concentrating on forcing their
beams forward, that neither noticed the telltale bulge forming in the
space where they met; which signaled that both ki attacks were going
to blow up in their faces.
When the inevitable explosion occurred, the scene shifted to an
image of that particular Earth from space. Suddenly, a white light
exploded from where Goku and Vegita had been fighting...
And didn't fade away until it had engulfed the entire planet.
When the light was gone, the planet was an uniform grey color.
"THE EARTH YOU JOURNEY TO," FFML Boss said, "IS DEAD."
"So what's the big deal?" Space Sailor Moon asked, "If it's a dead
planet, then there isn't anything the Wild Deamon could do bad, right?
"
"AT FIRST," FFML Boss explained, "YOU ARE CORRECT. HOWEVER, ONCE IT
HAS GATHERED ITS ENERGY, THE WILD DEAMON WILL MOVE ON TO A DIFFERENT
REALITY. IT MUST BE STOPPED BEFORE IT HAS THE CHANCE TO DO SO."
My voice quavering, I asked, "How do we get there?"
FFML Boss's eyes changed again, from red to white, and when the
beams shot forth, they formed a swirling portal that looked like a
star being born.
"THROUGH THERE."
Trident walked towards the portal and then looked at me. He said,
"Since this is your first mission, would you prefer the honor of
going first?"
I couldn't pull my eyes away from the portal. Its slow, clockwise
motion was hypnotic, calming and terrifying at the same time. I said,
"Ummm... how about you go first?"
Trident frowned and let out a low sigh that voiced his disapproval.
He turned around and walked through the portal, a small pop sounding
when he went into it.
Space Sailor Moon stood next to me and asked, "You gonna go now?"
"Uh..." I replied, "You go next. I'll be right behind you."
Spacey sighed, then grabbed my arm and, using some of her Kaiju
inherited strength, tossed me through the portal.
Sheesh... she hadn't been alive for a year and she knew me a little
TOO well for my own comfort.
The trip through the portal was unspectacular. One second, I was
hurtling toward it and the next, I was on the other side and crash
landing onto Trident.
The two of us landed on the ground in a jumble of arms and legs.
Space Sailor Moon casually stepped through the portal and laughed at
the sight of the two of us trying to separate and get to our feet.
For once, Trident and I were thinking the same thing as we got up
and glared daggers at Spacey.
We didn't know how... and we didn't know when... but we WOULD get
even for that.
That was when I took a look around and said, "Whoa... is this where
Speliban would always teleport the bad guys in VR Troopers?"
We were in a gravel pit. A plain, grey, featureless gravel pit. A
gravel pit, if I remembered the view FFML Boss had shown us, that
covered the entire planet.
"The Wild Deamon must be nearby," Trident said, "I suggest that we
keep our eyes open and be on our guard."
"I hear that," I said nervously, "let's get this over with."
The three of us lapsed into silence as we began walking forward, a
warm breeze blowing from the left and making a low moan that seemed
to travel the entire surface of the dead planet. A soft crunch
echoed under our feet and a feeling of dread filled my guts with
every step.
My throat was dry, my hair was damp from the cold sweat and I kept
darting my eyes from left to right, trying to find anything, besides
the three of us, that was alive on this world.
Nothing but rocks and my teammates.
Then, a small stone rolled off a cliff and clonked me on top of the
head. I looked up and caught sight of my first Glitch.
I realize that merits another explanation, so here goes.
Glitches are lesser creatures, created by Wild Deamons to be their
personal shock troopers. While the Wild Deamons themselves are
varied and can appear as just about anything, due to some unknown
reason Glitches always look the same.
They're about five foot nine, green skinned with small tentacles in
the place of mouths and little beady, ruby colored eyes. They're all
dressed in white armor with red highlights and some of them are
barehanded, while some carry large silver spears.
The one looking down at us was barehanded and chittered in its high
pitched warble as it caught sight of the three of us. In a bone
headed maneuver, I shouted, "There it is!" and jumped up after it.
From what I'd been taught by Trident, I wasn't worried about a
Glitch. One good hit and they disintegrated, so, thinking that the
Glitch was the Wild Deamon, I went after it to try and eliminate the
fear that threatened to overwhelm me.
"Let your mind stay sharp," I remembered Trident telling me as I
landed on the ledge next to the Glitch, "but let your body flow of
its own accord. It will know what to do."
So saying, my mind took a back seat as my body unleashed a spinning
roundhouse kick that hit the Glitch on its left temple and sent it
sprawling to the ground, where it burned into a pile of dust and blew
away.
My rush of confidence lasted for about two seconds... before twenty
more Glitches rushed up from behind large rocks and charged me.
I wanted to yell for help, but someone had stuffed the whole Sahara
Desert down my throat and all I could manage was a strangled, Looney
Toon-ish, "Yipe."
My body went on automatic again and let me jump into the air, onto
the head of one of the Glitches in the middle of the group and over
to the other side. As one, the Glitches stopped their charges and
turned around to face me again.
I backed up slightly and felt my back touch a cliff face. I took a
quick look up and saw that it was too high to try and jump away.
Plus, from the way the Glitches were spreading out, I doubted that
jumping trick would work again. My hands shaking, I got into a
sloppy battle stance, forgetting everything about letting myself go
in the face of the horde slowly stalking me.
"PLASMA BOLT!"
A yellow fire ball came from nowhere and exploded in the middle of
the group, scattering the majority of them and destroying three.
Turning my head, I saw Trident land next to me on the left and Space
Sailor Moon land on my right. The two of them didn't look very happy.
"Such rash actions will only lead to an early demise," Trident said,
"I would have thought that I had taught you better."
"Yeah," Space Sailor Moon threw in, "that was real boneheaded."
"So get a dog and bury me in the backyard!" I snapped back with more
fear than anger.
Calming down, I turned to Trident and said, "Sorry. I wasn't
thinking."
"Not using your mind may result in losing your head," he replied,
"try not to do so in the future."
With a nod, I got myself ready as the Glitches charged.
Three Glitches with spears attacked Trident but he knocked the
attacks away with the trident that replaced his right hand, went
downstairs and leg swept them to the ground.
Despite her scolding earlier, Space Sailor Moon wasn't much braver
with her initial assault as a group of five charged her. "GET AWAY
FROM MEEEE!" she shrieked as she covered up and unleashed her Gravity
Tornado.
All five Glitches were lifted up into the air and then carried off
the cliff edge. When they were released they sweatdropped... then
swan dived for ten stories.
She looked up from behind her arms, saw what she had done and shot
me the victory symbol, as if she had planned it all along.
I was a bit too busy at the moment to return the gesture as I was
trying to relearn what Trident had taught me over the past three
months in the span of thirty seconds.
My body unleashed a kick into the closest Glitch. Then, I punched
the one next to it and drop kicked the both of them. They fell over
and disintegrated.
Thirteen down. Seven to go.
Space Sailor Moon activated her Tiara Bow and shot four more
Glitches in the chest, eliminating them in the blink of an eye.
Trident's trident began to spin and he stabbed the Glitch attacking
him. His spinning trident came out the far side of the Glitch and
the Wild Deamon soldier turned to dust before the Atlantian Bio-
Warrior pulled his arm back.
With only two left I drew my Sentai Saber, charged the remaining
Glitches, hit the jewel on the side of the hilt and slashed the both
of them with the glowing blade as I shouted, "CROWN FINAL CRASH!"
Skidding to a halt, my sword stuck dramatically in front of me, I
felt more than saw the flash of light that indicated the destruction
of the final two Glitches.
There was a brief moment of silence, then I heard Trident say, "Be
not overly proud. This is not over yet."
Man... I kept forgetting how quickly Trident could stop someone from
becoming overly confident. I guess I should thank him for keeping me
in line the next chance I get.
Anyway.
I turned on Trident and asked, "Whadda you mean by that? Those were
all of them, right?"
"Yes," Trident addmited, but then amended, "but unless you have
forgotten, those were only the Glitches. The Wild Deamon still
prowls the land somewhere."
I was grateful for the helmet for another reason at that point. It
hid my blush of humiliation. He was right of course. I had to keep
my cool. I had no intention of dying... I hear it really sucks.
Anyway... again.
I put my sword back in its subspace pocket and joined the others.
We prepared to move out again, when the ground shook violently.
Then stopped.
Shook again.
Then stopped.
Shook.
Stopped.
"What is that?" I asked.
"It sounds like..." Space Sailor Moon said as her eyes went wide,
"footsteps!"
"The foot falls of a giant," Trident agreed, his voice a whisper,
"which slowly approach us."
The ground shook several more times and the cause then stomped into
view.
FFML Boss had neglected to tell us one thing about the Wild Deamon.
It was large.
Strike that.
It was FREAKING *HUGE*!
The Deamon was over thirty stories tall, a silvery colored humanoid
with blue multifaceted eyes and a large horn over them. The thing
had no mouth and black armor plates over it's chest and lower body
(meeting decency laws... if there had been any). At its side, there
was a plain looking sword with a brown hilt.
The Deamon snarled as it caught site of us and charged, its steps
causing us to almost lose our balance. At the last second, we jumped
away and the thing's fist hit nothing but the ground.
The shock wave, however, knocked the three of us silly and when I
regained my senses, I felt a large hand clutch me and lift me into
the air.
The blood in my body rushed to my feet at the speed the Wild Deamon
lifted me into the air and it looked at me with... well... I don't
know how he planned on doing it without a mouth, but he looked pretty
hungry.
Naturally, I reacted as one in this situation would normally react.
"HHHHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPP!!!!"
Getting up, Trident concentrated and ki energy crackled along his
trident. He aimed his arm at the Wild Deamons' stomach and cried,
"PLASMA BOLT!"
The golden fireball unleashed by Trident staggered the creature
slightly but didn't make him loosen his grip on me. Space Sailor
Moon readied her Tiara Bow again and fired five arrows. All of them
bounced off the insectoid monster's chest armor.
Angrily, the Wild Deamon roared at them. The horn on its head split
open, exposing a blue jewel, which unleashed a gigantic energy beam
at them.
My heart leapt into my throat as the two of them frantically dodged
the beam itself and the resultant explosion, but were knocked over by
the shock waves once more.
Struggling, I managed to free my right arm and drew my Flash Blaster.
I shot the creature's right cheek and the Deamon instinctively let
me go to clutch at it.
I had a split second, before gravity took over, to think, "Now THIS
was smart."
I fell, my arms pinwheeling, all the way to the ground.
"Oof!"
I opened my eyes. My back was sore and I felt as if the wind had
been knocked out of me... but I was alive. How?!
Space Sailor Moon appeared above me and helped me to my feet as she
asked, "Are you okay?"
"I should be dead..." I muttered, "I fell thirty stories... how did
I survive?"
"Hey," Space Sailor Moon suggested, "you're a Sentai guy, right?
And they fall out of those mecha all the time, right?"
She had a point.
The Wild Deamon snarled and drew its sword. It tried to skewer us
on the tip of the blade, but we managed to roll out of the way in
time.
"Oh," I said, "what I wouldn't give for a mecha right now..."
That was when the ground began to shake again... but something else
was the source this time.
The shaking was harder, as if something bigger... MUCH bigger... was
approaching.
A mountain range collapsed and I got my first look at a gigantic war
machine.
It was silver and boxy in shape, easily towering over the Wild
Deamon at twice the creature's size and at least ten times its length.
The machine stopped on jet black tank treads and I exclaimed, "What
the hell is THAT?!"
"IT IS," the voice of FFML Boss boomed from somewhere, "TANKER.
INSIDE IS THAT WHICH IS YOURS BY BIRTHRIGHT. FLASHMAN, HIT THE LEFT
BUTTON ON YOUR WRIST DEVICE AND CALL OUT 'FLASH FIGHTER'!"
I looked down at my wrist device and did as FFML Boss said...
"FLASH FIGHTER!"
A door opened on the top of Tanker and a humanoid form, the same
size as the Wild Deamon, jumped out, performed a flip in midair and
landed in front of us.
It was a mecha. It wasn't the most impressive looking mecha, but it
was a mecha all the same.
It had an undefined, unmarked silvery body, with a single blue visor
eye on its head as the only facial feature. Its feet were blocky and
its fists were large circles.
The mecha thumped its fists together once and then looked directly
at me.
"Flash... Fighter?" I muttered... right before the teleporter beam
zapped out of its eye and transported me into the cockpit of the
mecha.
"OW!" I complained, "That hurt!"
I looked over the controls... the joy stick looked simple enough...
that big red button there was probably some kind of weapon... the
lever was probably the emergency ejection device...
I was drawn out of my study of the mechas' layout by the crushing
charge of the Wild Deamon.
Sparks flew from some of the consoles as Flash Fighter was knocked
back a good five steps. However, Flash Fighter stayed on its feet.
The Wild Deamon roared and drew its sword again. It slashed Flash
Fighter's armor three times, sending sparks flying and scratching the
mecha's armor. Still, Flash Fighter didn't fall.
With a snarl of frustration, the horn on the Deamon's head split
open again and the beam struck Flash Fighter directly in mid sternum.
NOW, Flash Fighter fell to the ground with a crash big enough to
cause small avalanches on the surrounding mountains.
Inside the cockpit, I was seeing stars, as when the mecha had fallen,
I'd banged my head against the back of my seat.
Shaking off the worst of the effects for the moment, I looked at my
control panel, wondering what I should do... this thing hadn't
exactly come with a How-To manual.
Good idea for when you find yourself piloting a mecha for the first
time: If a button starts blinking at you, press it.
In this case, a yellow button flashed on and off at me and I, not
knowing what else to do, pressed it.
Faster then I had thought possible, Flash Fighter kippuped and was
back on its feet. The Wild Deamon seemed as surprised as I was...
but only until it pointed its sword at me and charged again.
Now, two small blue buttons and two small green buttons underneath
them, were blinking at me. With a curious, "I wonder what these do...
" I pressed the left blue one.
Flash Fighter hauled back and slugged the Wild Deamon in the face
with a left punch, making the monster lose its grip on its sword.
"Oooooh," I said as I pressed the right blue button, "I get it."
As I suspected, Flash Fighter then hit the Deamon with a right punch.
Alternating between the left and right blue buttons and occasionally
throwing in a kick with the press of one of the green buttons, I
managed to force the Wild Deamon back, staggering it with an untiring
robotic barrage.
The monster's horn split open again, but with a combination of joy
stick and button pressing that could only be achieved after a youth
spent playing Commodore 64 games, Flash Fighter's right fist
shattered the blue crystal on the Deamons' forehead.
The Wild Deamon let out an ear shattering screech of agony and then,
the large red button on my left started to blink and words appeared
on the view panel in front of me.
The words were, <Fighter Fists: On-Line>
"Fighter Fists?" I asked to no one as I hit the red button, "Lets
see what they can do!"
Flash Fighter's left hang glowed gold as the right one glowed blue.
I moved the mecha in and it smashed the Deamon across the face with
its left one before uppercutting it with the right.
The Deamon howled as the energy transferred from the fists to its
body.
The Wild Deamon fell over and exploded from the energy that had been
forced into it.
For a full minute, as the echoing sound of the explosion faded away,
I just sat there... unable to believe that it was finally over. Then,
I was teleported out of the mecha (man, that teleporter HURTS) and
rematerialized in front of Trident and Space Sailor Moon.
For another full minute, no one said anything...
Then, I ripped my helmet off and threw up while my whole body shook
like a leaf in a strong wind.
I know what you're saying... it was only a few Putty Patrollers and
a minor Monster-Of-The-Day. However, being there is another
experience. One I would NOT recommend unless it is completely and
absolutely necessary.
After I was certain that I had finished losing what little breakfast
I had started the day with, but unable to stop my trembling, I looked
up, certain the others would be disappointed at me.
I was surprised when I saw Space Sailor Moon just sitting on the
ground, shivering while she held her knees to her chest and Trident
looking at us with a sad smile.
"Battle shock," he said, "happens to all of us our first time. Only
one who is insane or dead within would not feel as the two of you do
now."
I smiled then... a shaky smile... but a smile all the same.
I won't say I was never afraid again after that day, because that
would be a lie. However, I had started down the long and winding
road (no pun intended) to being able to control it.
Although... I don't think even I knew that I'd become such a wise-
ass about it.
To be continued in....
(Chapter 6: Sakura: The Bully Crusher???)
The Flashman
(Proud member of The Church of Tsukino Usagi)
Loyal G-Fan
www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Dojo/3105/
May The Spirit Preserve You!