On Thu, 17 Sep 1998, Angus MacSpon wrote:

Date: Thu, 17 Sep 1998 07:15:40 +1200
From: Angus MacSpon <macspon@ihug.co.nz>
To: fanfic@fanfic.com
Subject: [FFML] [Songfic/Parody] Nekohanten

The author would like to apologise to everyone in the world for what
follows.
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Her name was Shampoo, she was a waitress:

Shampoo: Nihao!

Purple hair, and really cute,
With a bonbori, to boot.

(Sounds of someone saying, "oof!"

She did deliv'ries on her two-wheeler

(Sounds of her crashing through walls.)

And while she cycled through the scene,
Mousse, he kept the cafe clean.

Mousse: Shampoo!!

This boy was almost blind
And she was so unkind
She would punch him and she would kick him
But he didn't mind!

At the Neko, the Nekohanten
The waitress, she had 'em all pantin'.
At the Neko, the Nekohanten ...
Ramen and soba and noodles all over,
At the Neko ... he chased his love.

His name was Ranma, he had a pig-tail

Ranma: Sorry about that...

He was escorted to a chair,
And he ate his ramen there.
And when he'd finished, Shampoo she glomped him,

Ranma: Ack!

But when Mousse came on the scene,

Mousse: Prepare to die, Saotome!

His face turned a shade of green.
And then the punches flew

Ranma: Hiyi...dragon punch (not knowing the Japanese phrase...)

And chairs were smashed in two

(Sounds of chairs being smashed.)

And then someone fetched a bucket, and threw water too!

(Sounds of water being splashed.)

At the Neko, the Nekohanten
The waitress, she had 'em all pantin'.
At the Neko, the Nekohanten ...
Ramen and soba and noodles all over,
At the Neko ... he ducked too late.

(Melody interlude here.)

Her name is Shampoo, she was a waitress,

Shampoo: Nihao!

But that was thirty years ago
When Cologne, she ran the show.

Cologne: Hello, Son-in-law...

Now it is five-star, and Shamp's the owner,
With her husband by her side,
And their pig-tailed kids besides.

What?!

She sits there, full of pluck
And thinks back on her luck:
Instead of ramen or soba that evening,
They ate Peking Duck!

(Andrew face-faults.) Oh, the horror...

At the Neko, the Nekohanten
The waitress, she had 'em all pantin'.
At the Neko, the Nekohanten ...
Ramen and soba and noodles all over,
At the Neko ... don't chase your love.


(To the tune of "Copacabana", if you really didn't get it.)

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Angus MacSpon                                                Allen Gainsford
http://shell.ihug.co.nz/~macspon/          http://shell.ihug.co.nz/~macspon/

No, I didn't get the tune the first time around. But it is really funny. And
you have way too much time on your hands. And yes, someone already did an Anime
version of "Eat It." I didn't know that Manilow himself sang that parody song
"Star Wars Cantana?!" WOW! I will not write in stream of consciousness ever
again.