Seems I can't remember ever having sent this to the FFML...and since
it seems to be the season for self-inserts...or at least, since every
other member of CALF Pro has a self-insert out...I figured it was
time to (re?)post this.

This was written quite some time ago. As I said, I don't remember
whether or not I ever posted this to the FFML.

There will be more series included later, but for now, it's just:

"Dragonball" created by Toriyama Akira, and serialized in Shonen
Jump. Anime rights for Japan and North America currently owned by
Toei Animation, FUNimation, and Pioneer LDC. Manga rights for North
America currently held by VIZ Communications. 

The Dragonball universe used in this story is an alternate reality. 

C&C/MST welcome. Flames will be altered to read "Yo momma's a ho" and
forwarded, with your e-mail address, to Mike Tyson. 

And now, I rather shamefully present...

	*  **  ***  *******  ****  *****  ******

	In the usually peaceful town of Port Arthur, Texas, a  rather large
crowd of rubberneckers milled about the parking lot of Central Mall.
Police were arriving at a steady rate to deal with traffic and crowd
control problems.
	The cause of all the excitement was rather obvious. Something very
large had just dropped from the sky, and crashed right through the
main roof of the mall. 
	One young man who had come to do a little shopping blinked at the
crowd, then stared at the unexpected addition to the scenery. He
nearly crashed into a police car.
	Parking his car, Robert Morrison slowly stepped out, and stared in
shock and awe at the spectacle. *What the hell--?* He blinked,
rubbing at his eyes. *That...that looks like...*
	The UFO was round, probably spherical, though it was difficult to
tell with part of it hidden within the mall. A smaller sphere sat
atop the main part of the object.
	The whole thing was purple. 
	Robert slipped around the fringes of the crowd, trying to get a
closer look. After about ten minutes, he'd managed to get near the
police lines blocking off an area about fifteen feet away from the
mall. People were managing to sneak under the tape, the police
undermanned for this kind of crowd control.
	Finding an unguarded spot, Robert slipped past the tape, and found a
good vantage point where he could hide from the cops behind a parked
car. *Funny...that really does look just like...*
	The crowd gasped collectively as the small sphere atop the UFO
snapped open, revealing a glaring red eye.
	Robert paled. "No, not just looks like," he said to himself.
"That...that *is*...but how?" 
	Despite what his rational mind told him, his eyes were telling him
something else entirely. Purple sphere, with a red eye on top,
crashed into Central Mall...
	"But...there's no way it could be..."
	Suddenly, the red eye began to glow, and emitted a blinding beam of
light, which struck Robert directly. He screamed in agony...
	
	O_o EIENMAIGO NO RAAKAA: The Otakufic Turned Purple o_O

	PROLOGUE

	Chikyuu had been peaceful for several years.
	That all changed one day when a mysterious portal opened above Satan
City, and a giant spherical ship appeared. 
	All efforts by the Z Warriors to destroy the ship failed. The
commander of the ship, Duchess Cortexa, hijacked all of Chikyuu's
communications resources, and announced her intentions to take
control of the world.
	Cortexa was from a place called Dimension X, one of millions of
universes in existence. Dimension X was controlled by highly evolved
brain creatures, possessing incredibly advanced technology. With the
seemingly indestructible Achillodrome at her command, Cortexa's
usurption of Chikyuu's technological resources was unstoppable by the
Z Warriors, and even by the genius CEO of Capsule Corp. All who did
not submit to Cortexa's rule, suffered greatly.
	The Z Warriors, however, did not give in, and began training, while
Bulma searched for a way to crack Cortexa's control network. Worried
at the increasing power levels of the Z Warriors, and not being
equipped with sufficient weapons to deal with them, Cortexa
instructed her scientists in Dimension X to build an ultimate weapon
to destroy the Z Warriors.
	Two months later, the portal to Dimension X opened again, and a
massive three-headed dragon, Phase Ghidora, emerged. The Z Warriors
were quickly overwhelmed by the terrible monster...

	*  **  ***  *******  ****  *****  ******

	"Kusottare...! What the hell is this blasted thing!?"
	Vegeta, Son Gokou, Son Goten, and Trunks, all in Super Saiyajin
form, hovered several dozen meters from the massive beast that had
appeared from the Dimension X portal, taking a moment to catch their
breath and size up their opponent. The dragon's enormous body and
tail were brown. Its heads were red, green, and blue respectively,
and it glided through the air on massive gold and black wings.
	"Its weapons have a peculiar sting," Trunks observed.
	"Felt like it ripped my arm apart where I blocked," Gokou added.
"Like strong wind."
	"It felt like fire when it hit me," Goten commented.
	"It was ice, like plunging into a frozen lake," Vegeta spat.
	"It was all of those," Trunks said. "You each got hit by a different
head, right? I think the heads have different powers." 
	Phase Ghidora gave a shrill triple shriek, and flew towards them.
The heads began spewing harsh bolts of lightning, which the Z
Warriors scrambled to avoid.
	"Where the hell are the others?" Vegeta snarled as he began hurling
small balls of ki at the dragon. A stray bolt from the green head
struck him, rending a gash in his armor. He cursed, and his golden
aura flared brighter as he rushed the beast.
	"Be careful, otousan," Trunks cautioned, drawing his sword. His aura
and hair were different from that of the other Saiyajin, even in
super form--while the others sported golden hair and flaming gold
auras, Trunks' hair was dark purple, his aura violet. The oddity had
been attributed to the human genes inherited from his mother. His
younger brother had the same trait.
	"Careful my ass!" Vegeta yelled, blurring into motion. He began
raining punch after punch, kick after kick, on the offending green
head of Phase Ghidorah. The dragon roared, and abruptly snapped that
neck back, flinging Vegeta into the distance. His cursing grew
fainter as he flew into the horizon. 
	"You should be more careful, Vegeta," an amused voice snorted from
behind him as the Saiyajin prince regained control.
	Vegeta spun around and snarled. "I don't need any of your advice,
Piccolo," he spat.
	The tall, green-skinned Namekseijin stood in midair, his arms
crossed, smirking at Vegeta. Beside him hovered the elder of Gokou's
children, Gohan. Now a husband and father himself, Gohan tended to
avoid fighting unless it was absolutely neccessary...more because of
his extraordinary power level than anything. In times like this,
however, when a truly severe threat emerged, Gohan pulled himself out
of 'reserve' and joined his fellow Z Warriors in battle. 
	"Perhaps not," Piccolo said. "Nevertheless, it seems to me that the
overgrown lizard there managed to kick your ass rather soundly."
	Vegeta cursed. "Since you're enjoying yourself so much standing here
being a smartass, you can keep doing it while I go trash this
bakayarou." With that, he took off, aura flaring. 
	"Well Gohan, hope you've kept up your training," Piccolo said.
"Looks like this one's going to be pretty rough."
	Gohan nodded. "I'm ready." His aura flared ever so slightly, causing
a small tempest to swirl around him amid the clouds, and joined the
battle, followed shortly by Piccolo.

	Phase Ghidora spun around in midair, breaking off its assault on
Gokou and Trunks, as Gohan charged into the fray. All three heads
immediately concentrated their fire on Gohan, who managed to dodge at
the last second, but was still clipped across the shoulder.
"AAAGGGHHH!!" he roared, dropping like a stone and clutching his
shoulder. 
	"Gohan!" Gokou shouted, flying after his son. 
	Piccolo scowled. "Alright, you crossdimensional bastard, try me on
for size." 
	As Piccolo faced off against Phase Ghidora, Gohan began to regain
control, and stopped his descent. Gokou caught up with him. "Oi,
Gohan...you alright?" he asked.
	Gohan nodded, clenching his teeth. "That hurt like hell," he hissed.
"Felt like my arm was being sheared off."
	Gokou frowned. "Something strange about its attacks," he said. "Hope
Bulma comes up with something."
	The two Saiyajin returned to the fray, helping the others surround
the beast. Confronted by warriors on all sides, who were constantly
in motion, Phase Ghidora couldn't get a lock. It thrashed with its
tail, and struck out with its beams, to no avail.
	However, the Z Warriors weren't having any more luck. They began
nailing the dragon's torso and necks with every conceivable attack,
but nothing was working. 
	"What in the hell is it going to take to stop this monstrosity?"
Piccolo wondered.

	*  **  ***  *******  ****  *****  ******

	"Now this is odd," Bulma frowned as she observed the analysis of a
soil sample taken from the site of Phase Ghidora's first attack.
	"What is it, okaasan?" the lavender-haired youth standing beside her
asked.
	"There are traces of dimensional shift in this soil," Bulma said.
"33.3 percent of its mass was momentarily displaced from this plane."

	"Which means...?" 
	"Which means, Bakusaa," Bulma said, "that the dragon's beams are
like very weak dimensional warps." She frowned. "Phasing the mass out
of this dimension disrupts the integrity of the matter, and the
longer the beam holds, the more damage is done. Still though, it's
only phasing a third of the mass...given that the beam isn't likely
to strike for very long, that's not very effective as a disruption
weapon."
	"What if it's used on something living?" Bakusaa asked. A year and a
half younger than Trunks, he nevertheless was almost the spitting
image of his brother. The only difference was that Trunks kept his
hair cut short, while Bakusaa wore it to his shoulders. 
	And, of course, they registered differently on a scouter. Bakusaa
preferred the library or the lab to the battlefield, and while still
powerful, was significantly weaker than his brother. 
	"It would definitely hurt," Bulma said. "Applied consistently
enough, it could even cause serious tissue damage." She frowned. "I
still don't see why they designed the beam to shift such a small
percentage of mass."
	Bakusaa thought about that. "Hmmm...wait. That soil probably only
got hit by one beam, right?"
	"Looks like it," Bulma nodded.
	"Phase Ghidora has three heads, remember?"
	Bulma gasped. "I see! If it uses all three beams on one target at
the same time..."
	"It could do some major damage," Bakusaa said, scowling. "I hope the
others are being careful."
	"I'm sure they are," Bulma said. "They know what they're doing."
	"True..." Bakusaa said. 
	A portable radio unit crackled. "Okaasan...need some help...way to
fight...attacks aren't even scratching it..." Trunks' voice was lost
in static as the radio died.
	"Damn...I don't know what they expect me to do about it," Bulma
said.
	Bakusaa sat quietly for a moment. "Hmmm..." Suddenly, he sat up,
snapping his fingers. "It might work..."
	"What?" his mother asked.
	"I have an idea," Bakusaa said, picking up a fresh radio
transmitter. "Let me know if you come up with something." Dashing
outside, Bakusaa powered up, and flew off to join the fray.
	"Dammit...it worries me when he does that," Bulma said, before
turning back to her analysis equipment.

	*  **  ***  *******  ****  *****  ******

	The Z Warriors hovered at a respectable distance from Phase Ghidora.
It had stopped attacking wildly, and instead was watching them
curiously, taking the occasional potshot at them. 
	"This damned thing is toying with is," Vegeta groused. 
	"Perhaps so," Piccolo said, "nevertheless, we seem to have a
stalemate. We don't hold still long enough for it to damage us, and
our attacks can't damage it."
	"We gotta try something else," Gokou said. "Need to get rid of it." 
	"What do you suggest, Kakarotto?" Vegeta sneered. "Ask it to leave,
perhaps?"
	Gokou shrugged. "Oi! Dragon! Why don't you be a nice dragon and go
home?" 
	Phase Ghidorah unleashed its piercing triple roar, and fired at
Gokou.
	"Che...bakayarou..." Vegeta muttered. 
	"Let's regroup," Gohan suggested. "Take it from the front...combine
our power. Aim for the heads."
	"Good idea," Trunks nodded.
	"NO! WAIT!" a voice said from behind them. The Z Warriors turned to
see a purple-haired youth flying towards them.
	"Bakusaa!" Trunks said. 
	"Everyone, back away from it...I'm going to try something," Bakusaa
said. 
	"Like what?" Vegeta asked. "You don't think you can scratch it with
any of your attacks, do you?"
	"No..." Bakusaa said. "Just watch. Okaasan found out something about
those beams it uses." 
	"Those beams hurt," Goten muttered. 
	"What did she say?" Trunks asked.
	"No time to explain!" Bakusaa said, flying upward swiftly as Phase
Ghidorah charged, unleashing its triple beams. The Z Warriors
scattered, taking defensive positions.
	"I hope this works," Bakusaa muttered. "Cover me!" he shouted,
flaring his ki and charging headlong at the dragon.
	"He's gone crazy," Vegeta said, wide-eyed. 
	"Bakusaa! Be careful!" Trunks called.
	Phase Ghidorah discharged its beams at the half-Saiyajin, who
swerved and twisted in midair, dodging all the blasts by millimeters.
As he closed in, the dragon's middle head attempted to snap at him,
while firing point-blank as well.
	"Gotcha," Bakusaa grunted as he narrowly avoided the attack, locking
his arms around the neck. Phase Ghidorah roared and thrashed. Bakusaa
gritted his teeth, and flared his aura, attempting to wrestle the
writhing head. Slowly, he began to arch the neck backwards, drawing
the center head towards the body. "Trunks!" he called. "Get over it
and draw its fire!" 
	"Right!" Trunks said, flying into position above the center head.
The others gathered around the other heads, firing everything they
had at them. The heads returned fire, while the middle head struggled
to extricate itself from Bakusaa's grip. Trunks carefully poured a
beam of raw power into the head, which retaliated with its own beam.
Grunting from the strain, Bakusaa surged upward, pulling the head
backwards, thereby aiming its mouth at its main body.
	A shower of sparks erupted from Phase Ghidorah's hide, and the
dragon screeched in agony. It tossed its middle head wildly, finally
dislodging the purple-haired Saiyajin. Bakusaa spun in the air,
disoriented and weakened from the effort. "It worked," he panted. 
	"He turned its own beam against it," Gohan said.
	"It seems to have had an effect," Piccolo noted.
	"Alright, need to do that to all the heads," Gokou said, powering up
for another assault.
	Just then, Trunks gave a shout of alarm. "Bakusaa! Look out!"
	Phase Ghidorah hovered only a few meters from the young Saiyajin,
screeching in rage. Smoke curled from its damaged backside. Bakusaa
tensed, still winded from wrangling the center head. 
	That same head now screeched in his face, hanging less than half a
meter above his head. He could smell its fetid, hot breath. 
	The other heads slithered up on either side of him, adding their
roars, causing Bakusaa to clutch his head in agony. 
	"GET OUT OF THERE!" Trunks yelled, powering up, preparing to fly in
and rescue his brother.
	The eyes of the three heads began to glow, and their beams fired
simultaneously, more intensely than any previous.
	Bakusaa screamed, his aura flickering wildly. A corona of strobing
light surrounded him. A horrifying roar, like an aircraft
decompressing, filled the air.
	"We've got to help him!" Gokou said, breaking the second level of
Super Saiyajin. Nearby, Gohan increased his power as much as he
dared, and was preparing to strike out at Phase Ghidorah. 
	Bakusaa's screams, which could be heard above the roaring vortex of
wind, abruptly cut off. The strobing lights faded, and Phase Ghidorah
threw all three heads back, screeching in triumph. 
	Of the young Saiyajin, there was no trace. 
	"NOOOOOOO!!!! YOU SON OF A BITCH!!" Trunks bellowed, breaking the
second level himself, and possibly a bit beyond that. Glowing like a
comet, he streaked towards the dragon, and a wide, blinding beam of
ki erupted from him, striking the center head at the base.
	Phase Ghidorah screeched as the scales of its neck exploded away
from its body, and it spun, striking Trunks with its tail. It then
flew away rapidly, screeching in pain.
	Trunks started to give chase, but Vegeta descended in front of him.
	"Out of my way, otousan," Trunks said.
	Vegeta shook his head. "The time for vengeance is not now," he said.
"Do you truly wish to end up the same way your brother did?"
	Trunks scowled.
	"Vegeta's right, Trunks," Gokou said from behind him. "We've worn
ourselves down wasting energy attacking it. Bakusaa found its
weakness. We need to rest before we can do anything about it."
	"Screw its weakness," Trunks said. "You saw what--"
	"You went level 2," Vegeta said, "and managed to scrape its skin a
bit."
	Trunks was silent.
	"Bakusaa showed us how to kill it," Gokou said. "We need to
rest...it'll come back, and we'll be ready for it."
	Trunks stared into the distance, his aura dimming and his hair
settling slightly as he powered down. "Damn you, monster," he said.
"I'm going to tear off your heads and beat you to death with them,"
he seethed. 
	"Come," Vegeta said. "We must..." he paused uncomfortably. "Bulma
needs to know."

	*  **  ***  *******  ****  *****  ******

	"No...!" Bulma said, all the color draining from her face.
	Trunks looked down. "I'm sorry, okaasan. I...I couldn't save him.
None of us could." He clenched his fist. 
	"Bakusaa..." Bulma began to weep silently.
	"Bulma," Vegeta said. "The runt found that damn dragon's weakness."
	Bulma looked up.
	"It's true, okaasan," Trunks said. "Thanks to him, now we know we
can use its own beams against it."
	Bulma sniffled. "I...I'm glad," she said. "I'd never have guessed it
would be vulnerable to its own weapon," she said, smiling sadly
before she broke down in tears.
	"Bulma," Vegeta reminded her, "Bakusaa hasn't been killed before."
	Bulma blinked, then gasped. "The dragonballs..." She was in motion
before the men could blink, and within seconds, she held a bleeping
Dragon Radar. "What are you standing around for? We need those balls,
fast!"
	
	*  **  ***  *******  ****  *****  ******

	<Piccolo.>
	Piccolo looked up at the sudden mental intrusion. <Dende,> he
returned. <You seem troubled.>
	<Piccolo...Bakusaa is missing.>
	<He's dead. Phase Ghidora-->
	<I know that, Piccolo. I mean, his soul is missing. I can't find
him, and Enma-sama never saw him either.>
	<What!? That's...that's impossible...>

	*  **  ***  *******  ****  *****  ******

	Minutes after speaking to Piccolo, Gokou teleported to Kaiou's
planet. "Kaiou-sama," he said. "There's a problem."
	Kaiou nodded. "I heard of the problem," he said. "Bakusaa has gone
missing after Phase Ghidora killed him."
	"Any idea where he went?"
	Kaiou rubbed his chin. "To be honest, I'm as puzzled as you are," he
said. "I can only think of one possibility..." he shook his head. "I
take it the others are gathering the dragonballs to bring him back?"
	Gokou nodded. "Yeah."
	"Well, if anyone can find him, Shenron can. If not...I'll see what I
can come up with," Kaiou said.
	"Thanks," Gokou said, teleporting back home.

	*  **  ***  *******  ****  *****  ******

	"WHO HAS SUMMONED ME FROM MY SLUMBER? STATE YOUR WISH, AND IT SHALL
BE GRANTED."
	Bulma gazed up at the Eternal Dragon, Shenron, with the same awe she
felt every time she saw him. "My son, Bakusaa, was killed by the
extradimensional dragon Phase Ghidorah. I wish for him to be returned
to life."
	Shenron's eyes glowed, then dimmed. "YOUR WISH CANNOT BE GRANTED."
	"What!? Why?"
	"THE SPIRIT OF YOUR SON HAS BEEN FLUNG BEYOND THE BOUNDS OF THIS
UNIVERSE. WHERE HE HAS GONE, HE HAS MERGED WITH A NEWLY CONCEIVED
ORGANISM, AND IS BEING REINCARNATED AS WE SPEAK. I CANNOT INTERVENE
IN THE AFFAIRS OF OTHER DIMENSIONS." A pause. "IF THERE IS ANOTHER
WISH..."
	"Yes. Please destroy Phase Ghidorah," Vegeta spoke up.
	"I CANNOT GRANT THIS WISH EITHER," Shenron said. "PHASE GHIDORAH IS
NOT NATIVE TO THIS DIMENSION. MY POWERS HAVE NO EFFECT UPON IT."
	"Dammit..." Vegeta scowled. 
	Bulma turned away, eyes brimming with tears. 
	"THOUGH I CANNOT INTERVENE IN THE AFFAIRS OF OTHER UNIVERSES,"
Shenron rumbled much more softly than usual, surprising everyone
below, "AS YOU HAVE SEEN, NOTHING PREVENTS MORTALS FROM BREAKING THE
BARRIERS BETWEEN WORLDS AND INTERVENING PERSONALLY."
	Bulma turned, looking up. "Can...can you help me find him?"
	The Eternal Dragon's eyes glowed brightly. "YOUR WISH IS GRANTED,"
he said. A small purple crystal floated in the air before Bulma.
"THIS CRYSTAL CAN TRACE THE WORLD TO WHICH YOUR SON'S SPIRIT WAS
SENT. YOU WILL FIND THE WAY TO USE IT. FAREWELL." 
	Shenron disappeared, and the dragonballs scattered. Bulma stared at
the crystal with determination. "My son...I'll find you," she said.

	*  **  ***  *******  ****  *****  ******

	One Week Later...

	"They finally managed to kill Phase Ghidorah today. Now that it's
dead, Trunks is busy ripping its corpse apart with his bare hands. I
don't blame him.
	"The operation at Orange Star was a success. Goten, Kuririn, and
Juuhachigou managed to liberate one of the smaller Dromes from
Cortexa's henchpeople. It shouldn't take long for me to figure out
how its transdimensional drive works, and how to install the crystal
Shenron gave me.
	"It also occurred to me that Bakusaa won't be the same, physically
or mentally, as he was before he died. I've begun working on a device
that should solve that problem. I should probably feel ashamed that I
intend to rip him away from whatever life, whatever family he ends up
in...but I've got to bring him back, if at all possible. He belongs
here."

	*  **  ***  *******  ****  *****  ******

	Two Months Later...

	"Well, it's finished," Bulma said, stepping back to admire her
handiwork. A large purple sphere, about 200 meters in diameter, stood
in an abandoned field outside the city, seated upon eight large
thruster units. Atop the construct sat a much smaller sphere. 
	"You sure it'll work?" Trunks asked. 
	"We'll find out soon enough," Bulma said. 
	"So what's this thing gonna do?" Gokou asked.
	"It's going to seek out the world where Bakusaa ended up, and find
his spirit," Bulma said. "No matter what form he's in, it'll find
him. Then, the genetic blender device I installed will recode
whatever his DNA is now to match Bakusaa's DNA. Then, it'll bring him
back here." She looked up at the big purple sphere hopefully. "Well,
here goes nothing," she said, pressing a button on a handheld control
unit.
	The sphere lifted off the ground, its thruster units thrumming
loudly. "Stand back," Bulma advised. As the group cleared out of the
area, the smaller sphere atop the vehicle snapped open, revealing a
glaring red eye. The eye began to glow, and a dark portal opened in
the air before it. As soon as the portal was large enough, the craft
slipped through, vanishing as the portal resealed behind it.
	"Happy hunting," Bulma said softly.

--------------------------------------------------------------------
*This is a test of the Emergency Anal Probe System.*

--
The Eternal Lost Lurker
"A watched twat never oils."
EternalLostLurker@worldnet.att.net
http://www.geocities.com/~etlostlurker

"I can't tell if she's trying to sing or trying to fake
an orgasm."
-Lurker's response to the rerecorded version of
Rayearth English opening for Working Designs

*This has been a test of the Emergency Anal
Probe System. If this had been an actual emergency,
the attention signal you just heard would have been
followed by official probes, dildos, or intrusions.
This concludes this test of the Emergency Anal
Probe System.*
-------------------------------------------------------------------