Draxon's Review Corner Presents
   An In-House Production
         Ranma 1/2
     A Demon's Delight

Chapter 2: Unexpected Disasters

    Hit dirt       | Strip smile       | Live to win
    Shake tree | Lose cool        | Dare to fail
    Split sky    | Bleed the day   | Eat the dirt
    Part sea     | Break the rule  | Bite the nail | Then make me miss
you...

   --Metallica, Carpe Diem Baby

    Ranma took a quick glance at the time before he started up the stairs.
Geesh, 10:13 already.  Nabiki had already gone to school, and Kasumi was
busy cleaning up a mess that Genma had made when he had the unfortunate
accident of slamming into the breakfast table.  Well, so Ranma did play a
little part in that; but this morning training stuff was starting to get out
of hand.  Genma was getting cheaper and cheaper every day.  Ah well, at
least he hadn't been able to steal any food.  Akane was asleep in her room -
well, maybe asleep wasn't an appropriate term.  Perhaps 'dead' would be more
fitting.  Ranma adjusted his shirt - which happened to be the last one that
had survived the last few weeks intact, and knocked on Akane's door.
    Hmm, no answer.  The police had stopped by earlier wanting to talk to
Akane about a little rash of thefts she was supposedly involved in, but
after Soun heard the full story he convinced the officers that Happousai had
probably forced his daughter into the acts.  That meant Akane was off the
hook at least until the old man made another appearance.  Ranma knocked
again, no answer.
    "Akane, are you alive in there?" She had apparently been up long enough
to shut her alarm off, but Ranma was having no luck getting Akane's
attention while she was behind this door.  Well, he did have one option
left, albeit a dangerous one.  He opened the door.
    Well, Akane looked comfortable.  She had wrapped her blanket around her
like a cocoon and was smiling contently as she dozed the hours away.  Ranma
took the opportunity to see his fiancee outside of her natural habitat
(meaning 'in a peaceful state') and just watched her.  After a few seconds
he decided to stir the sleeping dragon, and proceeded with caution.
    "Akane, it's getting late.  C'mon, wakeup."  Okay, so the vocal approach
wasn't going to work; well, not without more power, "Akane, it's going on
10:20, now wakeup.  C'mon now." Akane's reply; Snore, snore, snore...
    Ranma backed off for a moment.  This was indeed a serious situation...
If he let Akane sleep any longer she would be mad at him for not waking her
up.  Then again, waking her up could probably be most-unhealthy as well.
What to do, what to do...  He decided against physical contact of any sort,
lest the beast strike back violently.
    "Wakeup already!  If you keep this up you're going to be failing more
than English and I don't want you trying to blame it all on me!  C'mon
already!"  And Akane snored on...  Okay, time for action.  Ranma loosened
the blanket's hold on Akane and shook her very lightly by her shoulders.
Akane smiled and wriggled about - A most unexpected response.  Ranma's
fingertips noticed the smooth lacy material that enveloped Akane's shoulders
and immediately sent him into red alert mode.  Okay, so she *had* been out
stealing lingerie and stuff... and she'd kept some?  Ranma decided that this
encounter could hold disastrous consequences if he stuck around, so he
issued a general retreat.  He let go of Akane's shoulders and began to
slowly make his way to the door.
    Akane had other plans; Ranma felt his left hand, then his right began
snatched up in a vice-like grip.  Suddenly he was airborne in the small
room, and a quick twirl and a mattress later he was... *Under Akane*
    Akane muttered something to the tune of 'Ranma...' and Nerima's best
martial artist began to fear for his life.  Akane latched onto him and began
to squeeze tightly.  Okay, so this was even worse than when he had tried to
get P-chan away from Akane.  She was wearing lingerie and his hormones;
well, let's just say fear wasn't the only thing he was feeling.
    He saw the blanket slipping off of the bed and tried to snatch it -
damn.  Okay, so he was in bed with Akane and his only possible tool was
gone.  He tried to wriggle his way out of Akane's grasp; but soon found that
it was futile and that it had a most-incriminating effect on his manhood.
He reached deep into his memories to find something, anything that could
help him in this - his darkest hour.  He came up with a plan of action and
hoped it didn't backfire...
    "Akane," he whispered, "Let me go..."
    Akane's grip tightened and she rolled over to her side.  Ranma began to
give up hope - Akane was in total control and on top of that she was
*asleep* and in control.  A cold tingling sensation rippled down his spine
and he began to feel... weak?  What the hell?  He decided that this had gone
on long enough and tried to push out of Akane's grip.
    Okay, this freaked him out just a little.  Just when he needed a surge
of strength and speed it was as if his body abandoned him.  He felt like...
like when Happousai took his strength away from him.  He tried to speak - no
voice.  He felt humiliated but strangely... excited?
    "NO." he blurted out, then froze in fear when Akane began to roll over
again.  Great, back where we started....  Odds of survival 20 to 1.  Akane
sprawled out over Ranma, giving him a nice view of the back of her head.
Great, I'm a pillow now.
    Then the door opened.  Ranma snapped his head to the side and was met
with a horrified Kasumi.
    "Shh!" He motioned for Kasumi to come in, "You gotta help me..."  Kasumi
regained her composure, gave Ranma a disapproving look, and walked in.
    "Ranma, Ranma, Ranma..." She knelt down next to the bed and gave Ranma
the most sympathetic look she could muster.
    "I came in to wake her up... She... did this.  I'm dead if she wakes
up - You gotta help me..."  He reached out to Kasumi - his only lifeline,
and pleaded with a desperate look.
    Kasumi examined the situation with the look of a trained professional.
She'd saved Ranma from certain death at Akane's hands four times in the past
four weeks, and that didn't count her pledged silence concerning 'the
outfit' deal.  Oh well, Ms. Kasumi to the rescue again...
    Akane had let go of Ranma in favor of the dead weight approach, and any
major movement by Ranma could translate into a quick and painful end.
Kasumi picked Akane up, straining a few back muscles in the process, and
gave Ranma the tenth of a second he needed to remove himself from the time
zone.  She felt a slight movement by Akane and sat her down on the bed.
    "Akane, you didn't... Are you really asleep?"
    Akane opened her eyes, sat up, looked at Kasumi; then proceeded to die
laughing as she pulled her blanket back onto her bed.
    "Akane?  Are you okay?  You're not letting stress finally get to you,
are you?"  Kasumi slowly closed the door, then sat down on the bed next to
her youngest sister.
    "I'm fine, sis.  I think I've finally figured it out..."
     "What?" Kasumi looked into her sister's deep brown eyes, "Something
about Ranma?"
 Akane smiled as she wrapped her blanket around her, "Yeah...  I always knew
that he couldn't be a jerk all the time.  Maybe all I have to do is show a
little control.  This may sound crazy, but maybe he really just needs a
little push in the right direction."
    "Do you love him?"  Kasumi gave Akane her trademark big-sister smile and
waited for Akane's standard reply...
 Akane slid her head back onto her pillow and looked into her sister's warm
brown eyes, "I'm not sure I know how to answer that, sis.  I love a part of
him that likes to hide from me; I know that much... But do I love him?  I'd
like to know myself.  Maybe."
    Wow, 'maybe' had been the biggest confession Akane had made in a long
time.  "It's almost 10:25 now.  Ranma didn't go to school because you
weren't waking up and we had a few problems downstairs.  Are you two still
going to be able to pass English?  I thought you had a major test
yesterday."
    "English is a lost cause unless Hinako lets me make up yesterday's test.
I don't think we were doing anything important today though.  What was the
problem downstairs, Kasumi?"
    "Well, the police wanted to ask you a few questions about some robberies
that happened yesterday afternoon, then Ranma got into a major fight with
his father.  Mr. Saotome is still unconscious and the breakfast table is
broken into a few pieces."  She paused for a few seconds,  "Did Happousai
really make you rob those stores?"
    Akane smiled, "Well, he didn't really *make* me help him, but for once
he had an offer that I couldn't refuse."  She clenched her right fist in
front of her and allowed it to spill a cold blue aura for a few seconds, "He
taught me one of the Higher Arts - a final attack called the Sugoiken," she
relaxed her hand and continued, "'Awesome Punch' just doesn't do it justice.
It is beyond awesome.  Don't say anything to Ranma, okay?  It's best if he
doesn't know; I mean, his ego probably couldn't handle knowing that I'm as
good as he is now."
    "Okay," Kasumi accepted another little secret to add to her list,
"Please, try to be more careful with master Happousai next time.  I don't
think the police will accept another referral to him."
    "Don't worry, sis.  I don't think I could bring myself to do anything
like that again.  Is there still any food left or did Ran--"  A
terror-filled scream from outside cut Akane off.  She bolted to her feet and
snatched an outfit from her closet with record speed.  Kasumi went
downstairs to see what Ranma had gotten himself into, and when she reached
the breakfast room she saw *IT*.
    Ranma shook off his initial reaction to seeing the giant mutated pancake
and formed a plan of action.  First, he would run for his life.  Then Akane
would come kill the pancake and hopefully finish it for good.  He would come
back after the pancake was dead and everyone would be happy.
    Wait just a second here, "Yesterday I was almost starved - how else
could I have been beaten up by a generic excuse for breakfast?  C'mon you
stupid pancake - I'll show you what happens when you try to eat *me* for
breakfast."  The golem-pancake arose from the koi pond and formed appendages
somewhat resembling feet.  The ground shook when it walked forward.
    Ranma - powered by okinomiyaki, assumed a combat stance.  "Hey you!"
The pancake moved forward a bit, "Yeah, you!  Yesterday you nearly killed
me, you know that?"  The pancake nodded, "Guess what!"  The pancake
shrugged - Ranma ran forward, "Your turn!"  The pancake nodded
enthusiastically and began to labor forward.  Ranma gave the breakfast item
a flying sidekick to the midsection and planted himself in front of it.  The
pancake drew back in preparation to impale Ranma in a single nasty blow but
was interrupted by dual-fire Amaguriken punches.
    Ranma continued to give the pancake no mercy.  After several hundred
Amaguriken-speed punches he jumped to the roof of the dojo.  The pancake
began to stumble forward and Ranma decided to end the thing's 'life'.
    "Seirei Tatei Kyaku!"  Ranma launched himself forward and once again
planted his foot directly into the pancake's midsection.  A bright pulse of
chi energy detonated and knocked the pancake into the koi pond.  Ranma
stepped forward, wary of the pancakes short but well established history of
feigning defeat to surprise its opponent.
    "C'mon outta the pond, I need to get to school soon and Ukyou's promised
me some okinomiyaki.  If I have to miss out on one of her lunches because of
some generic pancake I will be *very* unhappy."
    Ranma heard footsteps and saw Ms. Chef/Beastmaster Akane approaching,
mouth primed and ready to deliver a comment;  "Ranma, don't tell me the
pancake survived.  Oh well, I guess I'll just have to let you do the cooking
and other girlish stuff while I carry on the school."  Akane smirked and
came to a stop next to Ranma, who tensed with just a tiny little sense of
fear.
    "While you carry on the school?  Hold on a second here, since when did
you get good enough to teach classes?  Besides, you know I don't do girlish
stuff, so don't even go there.  I'm busy wiping the floor with your cooking
now anywayz."
    The pancake arose from the pit of sludge that was formerly the koi pond
and stepped forward.  The ground crumbled beneath its pounding feet even as
its outer layer of uncooked batter began to drip onto the ground.
    "Akane, I have to give you some credit here.  That thing managed to
survive a Chestnut Fist and a Shooting Star Kick.  It must be one a' those
masochists or someth'an; it just keeps coming back for more."  The pancake
roared in anger and crushed a rather large rock beneath its feet as it
stomped around.
    "Quit yer' yappin, I'm trying to talk to Akane here.  Be quiet and I'll
finish you off in a minute!"  The pancake stormed around for a few seconds,
then began tapping its 'feet' in sarcastic anticipation.
    "Now Akane, seeing as your pancakes can come back from the dead to
attack me I think we can both agree that you need to stay out of the kitchen
for a while.  Too much of this stuff would get to be annoying."
    Akane yawned, "Yeah, yeah - no more cooking for me.  I've got better
things to do now anyway, a girl's life isn't all cooking, you know.  I'll
practice the Art a bit more and let you run around in an apron in front of a
hot stove."
    Ranma looked at the pancake, "The sacrifices I make for safety's sake.
Good thing we've got Kasumi to take care of that, though.  Well, shall I
wipe that pancake off the face of the Earth now?"
    "Hit it like it pushed you into the spring of drowned girl itself."
    "Hey, I never thought about that one."  Ranma looked at the pancake,
"Okay Mr. Ooze-of-Stench, let's see what you've got!"  The pancake stormed
forward on a ballistic course for Ranma, who thrust his right foot toward
the giant pancake's 'face' in a thundering sidekick.  His body left the
ground with the force of the attack and his foot crashed directly into the
pancake.  He hopped back, expecting his opponent to be a lump of batter, and
was surprised to see the gargantuan pancake lunging for the attack.
    Akane watched Ranma's attempt to block the pancake's lunging strike and
moved to the side just in time for her fiance to tear through the air on a
course for the dojo.  Ranma collided painfully with the exterior of the
wooden building and slumped to the ground.
    "Ranma, are you okay?"  She watched as Ranma brought himself to his
feet - slowly; and considered stopping the pancake before she had a repeat
of yesterday on her hands.
    "Yeah I'm fine.  I didn't expect a pancake to make Ryouga's punches feel
like slaps though."  He wriggled his arms back into a working condition,
"Guess I'll just have to treat it to an Amaguriken-Deluxe."  He bolted
forward and landed a powerful right hook on the pancake, then drew back with
both of his fists - which began to glow with the fiery red energy of chi.
The pancake attempted to envelope Ranma but was met with another series of
rapid punches; except this time the blows hit with explosive power.
    Ranma began to break a sweat as he continued the attack.  Just how much
damage can a pancake take, anyway?  If Ryouga had been taking the shots
Ranma was delivering he would have been a fried little piggy but the pancake
struggled to gain an advantage despite the fact that its body was being
rocked back and forth 20+ times per second.  Ranma pressed forward and
finally began to push the pancake back with his exhausting attack.  A spray
of liquid interrupted his punches and a second later he found himself on
another course for the dojo.
    "Man, you have *quite* the attitude," Ranma stated as he limped away
from another dojo wall.  He began to prep his arms for another round of
rapid punching but found his hands tightly glued together by a thick syrupy
ooze.  "Gimme a break, is this some kind a' special attack?"
    The pancake nodded and began to spray Ranma with thick adhesive syrup.
The martial artist tried to jump out of the way but quickly found himself
hanging upside-down from the wall; Che.  He tried to move but another blast
of syrup secured him snugly against the dojo exterior.
    "Okay Spiderman, when I get out of this you're *dead*, ya hear?"  He
tried to push off of the dojo wall but failed miserably.  He heard a tear
and looked down at his shirt; Ripped.  "That was my last shirt!  I have
nothing left to wear now!  I'm gonna have to hurt you for that!"  He
struggled against his gooey bondage but was making no progress.  Meanwhile,
Akane decided to use the pancake as a practice dummy.
    The pancake sensed Akane's planned attack and lunged at her.  When its
feet slammed into the ground the Earth temporarily jolted out of place, but
Akane had plenty of shock-absorbing experience from the previous day.  She
ran forward and ducked a wildly thrown punch then kicked in the retro
rockets and launched herself on a course for the sky.
    "SHOKEN!"  Her fist slammed into the pancake and jarred it violently as
she soared into the rising uppercut.  She extended her right leg and
prepared to follow through with gravity-powered descending sidekick but was
jerked to the side when the pancake snatched her by the ankle.  Her vision
blurred and her blood rushed to her head as the pancake twirled her around
in the air, then it all ended with the darkness of the brown earth slamming
into her face and the force of a hundred punches wrecking her entire body.
The ground beneath her shook as the pancake began to walk toward the
disabled but still more dangerous threat: Ranma.
    The pigtailed-one boiled with rage and struggled to escape the hardening
case of syrup as the pancake approached - it had ripped his shirt, hurt his
Akane, and it quite simply had to die for those unforgivable crimes.  NOW.
He summoned a surge of physical strength to power an offensive even as the
pancake drew back for a hospitalizing punch and he roared with anger - not
pain - when the pancake's strike knocked him through the dojo wall and sent
him flailing onto a hot stove.
    Akane struggled to regain control of her legs but found herself
thoroughly numb and paralyzed.  She'd held back and not used the Sugoiken,
and now Ranma was being beaten badly as a result.  That little factoid made
her very, *very* angry.  She looked at the pancake that was now walking
menacingly toward her Ranma and she lashed out;
    "As soon as I can move my legs you're dead!  I'll make it quick but
painful and then I'll NEVER COOK PANCAKES AGAIN!!!"  She heaved with
exhaustion and pain as the pancake ignored her.  She just hoped her legs
would have the good sense to move when she really needed them.  In her
current mood it was unhealthy for *anything* to make her mad, and right then
that included her own body parts.
    Ranma screeched with wild pain as he slammed into the floor.  His back
burned with intense agony and the syrupy case around his midsection was
catching fire like gasoline.  He rolled on the ground and extinguished the
flame, then looked toward the batter-beast and saw Soun standing between him
and the pancake monster.
    "You have attacked my youngest daughter and her fiance.  For your
actions against the Anything-Goes school you will pay dearly..."  Yes, go
Mr. Tendo!  Soun gave the pancake a nasty taste of the demonhead, and when
the pancake shrugged in response he tore forward with a demonic howl of ice.
Ranma felt the bondage around his left arm weakening and began to work his
way to freedom as the pancake snagged Soun by the tongue and began to fling
him about.  The eldest Tendo made a nice crunching sound when he slammed
into a far off wall in another room.
    The pancake approached Ranma with intent to kill, but Ranma now had one
arm free and that meant he was still the most lethal force in Japan.  The
black-haired martial artist managed to pull himself to a standing position
and propped himself against a kitchen wall.  He just hoped that the revised
Chestnut Fist would be enough to hold the sickly monster off long enough for
him to get out of its most-annoying syrupy bondage.  Once he got his other
arm or one of his legs free he planned on making this a *very* nasty fight.
    Akane pulled herself to her feet and encountered a new enemy - nausea.
She kneeled on the ground and held onto her stomach like it was going to
burst, then collapsed to the ground when her brain finally acknowledged just
how disorientating a massive blood-rush could be.  Another battle cry
resounded from the dojo; it seemed Ranma wasn't giving up as easily as he
had yesterday.  Rapid-fire explosions filled the air in the kitchen and
Akane pushed herself to her feet.  She opened her eyes and nearly fell to
the ground, so she shut off her visual input and accepted that for now she
would move in darkness.  After her other 4 senses realigned and began
working properly she began to walk toward the dojo.  That's when she began
to feel something... A sense of presence, perhaps?  She stopped walking and
took in the information she was receiving.  It was like her mind had formed
an image of the area around her and was updating it as if she could see it.
She opened her eyes, felt very sick, and closed them again... Well, nothing
like your chi taking over for your sight.  She walked toward the dojo - a
certain pancake was going to die and she had a good idea of how she was
going to kill it.
     Ranma lost his precarious balance when the pancake backed off and began
to stumble forward with the momentum of his last few punches.  His fall was
interrupted by a crushing punch that knocked him through the wall he had
been using for support and he fell limp in the middle of the training room.
His stomach and chest had awesome durability, but the last shot had broken
at least a few ribs while at the same time crushing and agitating the
already crispy skin on his back.  He coughed lightly, not daring to move his
chest too much - then he noticed that his right arm had finally been jarred
free.  He mentally told the pain centers of his brain to up and be quiet
then proceeded to smash open the amber-like casing that held his feet
together.  He stood and looked toward the kitchen, where Akane was busy
being smashed into the ceiling by yesterday's leftovers.  Broken ribs or
not, Ranma Saotome now had two arms and two feet to use in battle - and he
was about to use force that would put any other wild horse to shame.
    Akane felt her lungs fail her as the precious air that she needed so
much found a new home safely outside of her body.  Of course, the fact that
her stomach and chest had been hit with near-killing force had a little
something to do with that.  Pain didn't matter though - she was still alive
and so long as that little fact didn't change she was one punch away from
ending the fight.  Her 3D image of the kitchen failed as her chi was
diverted to more important life supporting tasks and she opened her eyes.
The first images came to her as warm air flapped around her body and she
focused her sight just in time to see the floor slam rather rudely into her.
Her nose had the bad luck of being the first part of her body to slam into
the floor and it spewed blood in protest.  Akane cursed herself for making a
mistake most beginning Judo students would have avoided and bolted back to
her feet.  She quickly drew her right fist back as the pancake surged toward
her.  Her bones popped loudly and quickly, sounding almost like the cocking
of a shotgun.  Appropriate - she channeled energy into her fist with a speed
that created a small nova of light and tore forward for the killing shot.
Her fist collided with the pancake with incredible force and the hot aura of
energy burned a hole deep into the massive beast.  She released the wrath of
the Sugoiken and leapt back to watch her vile creation return to the pits of
the burning skillets.
    Ranma ran forward in preparation for another Seirei Tatei Kyaku when a
shockwave of energy blew the remnants of the kitchen wall apart and slammed
into him with unholy force.  He collided with the wall on the opposite end
of the training room just before it shattered around him, leaving him once
again limp on the floor.  Whatever Akane thought she was going to accomplish
by fighting the golem she was absolutely *stupid* for hanging around if it
was throwing chi blasts of that caliber.  Ranma brought himself to his feet
and had to once again silence the pain centers in his jarred gray matter.
He tapped into his chi and reinforced his chest and stomach muscles to help
absorb any additional damage, then walked forward.  The fact that he was
limping on his left leg didn't register in his mind nor did it matter.  He
noticed that his shirt and his pants had been totally shredded by the last
attack and thanked the Kami for boxer-shorts.
    Akane began to shake as she retreated from the battle.  The Sugoiken...
one of the best techniques of the Anything-Goes school had... failed her.
Her nose finally found an operable nerve route to her brain and she
involuntarily diverted a valuable hand to somehow lessen the pain.  She saw
the hole on the pancake's form that she had created with her last punch and
noticed the absence of a wall behind the pancake and realized what she had
done...  Happousai had *tapped* the trees that he had blown to pieces, not
punched them with a holy vengeance.  She tried to channel energy for another
Sugoiken but found that her current stores of anger were far below the
adequate level.  Fear?  Love?  Determination?  Shimata!  Why had she been so
stupid as to learn how to channel *one* emotion?  The pancake charged
forward, battered but not beaten, and landed a herculean strike to Akane's
already weakened stomach.
    Ranma saw Akane as she was knocked through one of the last standing
walls on this side of the dojo.  He burst forward, ignoring his left leg's
annoying painful state, and slammed into the pancake beast with a
power-packed Seirei Tatei Kyaku.  The beast stumbled back and attempted to
regain its balance.  Ranma had better plans.
    "Tobaku yado ken!"  Ranma created a revision of his Amaguriken-Deluxe
and pressed forward.  Speed strikes obviously had no effect on the
beast-pancake.  Let's see how it handles the raw power of rage.  Ranma
charged both of his fists with massive levels of chi and tore into the
pancake.  Both fists struck at once and released a massive explosive blast
that knocked the pancake into the back yard and threw Ranma on his back
after a short flight.  He flipped back to his feet, ignoring the constant
protests and damage reports that his body begged him to think about, and
charged toward the now downed pancake.
    Akane pulled herself to her knees and struggled to stand but found that
her torso simple could not support itself.  Her stomach felt like it had
been reduced to jelly and if she had been hit any harder... She spotted the
pancake flying out of the dojo, then saw a nearly-nude Ranma pounce on it
with a point-blank Mouka Takabisha blast.  Her heart soared with hope and
pride as Ranma continued his strongest direct attack, then fell to rock
bottom when the crispy pancake snagged her fiance by the throat and threw
him off on a ballistic course with the roof of the dojo.  She stood and
nearly collapsed with weakness, but she overcame her bodily limits with one
last surge of strength.  Ranma's techniques of mass destruction weren't
doing much to the creature that truly deserved the name of *IT* so Akane
decided she would just have to take the war to the level of cellular
destruction in order to win.  For hurting her and especially for hurting
Ranma she would split every last chemical bond that held the mass of fried
batter together, Sugoiken style... and this time she would get it *right*.
The pancake saw her standing and began walking toward her, each footstep
registering on the richter scale...
    Ranma slammed through the ceiling of the dojo and landed next to his
unconscious father.  He simply could not believe it - *nothing* was hurting
the damned pancake!  Yesterday when he'd fought it he had been just a
*little* bit weaker and he was still able to visibly hurt the creature.  It
didn't matter - Akane had taken serious damage trying to buy him time and he
wasn't about to wait long enough for her to be hurt any more.  If he had to
wage a losing war against the golem simply to get it away from Akane he
would do it.  If he had to channel every last ounce of his chi into a single
all or nothing suicide blast, so be it.  If the forces of the seven hells
tried to stop him from reaching Akane only the Kami could keep him from
annihilating them.
    Ranma Saotome was finally getting *really* mad; and for the health of
those within a few miles of him that was a *bad* thing.  A massive explosion
rocked the dojo as Ranma neared the back exit and he exploded with energy in
preparation to remove his enemy from striking range of Akane.  He saw Akane
kneeling on the ground in pain and without the need to think he found
himself at her side, holding her and looking for the object of his
vengeance.
    "Where is it?"  He asked, "I wont let it touch you again, *Period.*  It
is going to die quickly and it is going to die NOW."
    "It, it's gone..."  Akane shook violently in Ranma's arms, "I... I
managed to finish it off."
    Ranma's brain processed the information in the following manner:
"Pancake = dead, reactivate central nervous system and bring me a damage
report.  Have an immediate stress overload ready to knock me unconscious if
the report looks too bad."  Damage report? Uhm hmm, more like self-induced
torture.  Pain signals began to relieve their backlogged queue and within a
few seconds Ranma found himself lying next to Akane with one arm around her,
unable to move.  His chest burned with a fiery pain and his leg chose that
moment to scream at him with agony.  He used the last of his energy to cling
to Akane, knowing that she was safe, and when the rest of his body launched
protests he was more than happy to allow his consciousness to drift to
better places.  Akane joined him a few seconds later, and the pair laid
peacefully in the back yard...

    Kasumi finally pulled herself out from under her unconscious father.
She had went to call Dr. Tofu in advance when the pancake re-emerged but her
call was cut short by an unfortunate collision with her father.  She looked
over Soun and decided that he was stable, then went to check on Ranma and
Akane.
    Okay, Ranma looked terrible and Akane seemed worse.  Ranma displayed a
rather nasty burn on his back and upon further examination Kasumi noted that
his chest was bruised badly.  His leg bore a long black mark from a major
impact and he was wearing boxers outside in the middle of January.  Kasumi
ran back to the house and retrieved two blankets.  She place one on the
ground next to Ranma and carefully placed Ranma and Akane on it, then draped
the other blanket over them to give them at least a little warmth.  She'd
considered simply taking the two inside but the dojo wasn't exactly in a
heat-retentive state.  All she could do now was wait for Tofu...

[...]  Fuurinkan High School, One Hour Later

    Ranma, clad in a martial arts dogi, slowly sat down on the cold earth
and began to rummage through his backpack for the food he needed so dearly.
Doctor Tofu had been able to patch him up reasonably well, but his body felt
stiff and frail to him.  Food could solve that problem, given a few days
time.  After all, he was Ranma.  He didn't stay hurt for long.  Ever.  He
pulled a brown paper bag out of his disorganized back pack and ripped it
open with hungry intentions.  If anything could make him feel better it
would have to be one of Kasumi's lunches...
    A sandwich.  Ranma pulled the top piece of bread off of his 'meal' and
confirmed what he had not wanted to think about - With the kitchen
practically blown apart in the dojo he would be reduced to eating simple
food in small amounts!  No!  Oh well, problem number 476 to add on to his
list of things to deal with.  He would have immediately set out to see Ukyou
but he had Akane to take care of, and he had no idea what to do with her.
    She sat next to him, silent in her pain.  She had been hurt and
somewhere in the equation Ranma knew that the word failure fit in perfectly.
No mountains had been destroyed, no climactic realizations were made, and
yet Akane had been hurt.  Her nose was nicely discolored and although he
knew her stomach had been hurt in the fight he hadn't worried that much
about it until Tofu made a ground-breaking comment:  "Her body should have
broken, but it seems her spirit wouldn't allow it."  Now Tofu was a man that
knew volumes about the human body and how to heal it.  The word 'broken'
didn't normally apply to a whole body is his terminology, but he must have
meant it.
    He was mad at himself and at Akane.  At himself for letting Akane get
hurt when he should have been rearranging the geographical makeup of Japan
to prevent that from happening, and mad at Akane for getting involved in a
fight she couldn't win and staying in it even after she'd been smashed once.
But how could he tell her not to step in and help him when he was fighting
below par?  If he even started down that track his argument would be short,
weak, and useless.  He'd already proven once, despite himself, that he and
Akane were an awesome team when they took the Tendo Dojo back from Natsumi
and her sister Kurumi.  He'd openly attributed the victory to his use of the
Hiryuu Shoten Ha at the perfect time but deep down he knew Akane had won
that fight while he was busy countering a devastating Final Attack.
    How could he tell her, after yesterday, that every blow she took for him
stabbed him in the soul twice?  His mind switched to easier topics to
contemplate, namely, exactly what had gone wrong just a little over an hour
ago.  When he launched his counter attack against the beast his Mouka
Takabisha had been weak and his ad-libbed techniques had been inadequate.
Tobaku Yado Ken - Hell's Fist?  Yeah right.  What was he thinking when he
gave a name denoting power to a technique that barely damaged an everyday
opponent?  Then the confidence blast - it had burned with energy like it
always had before but this time it had no substance.  Pancake batter should
have become ashes and cinders in his wake but not this time.  Oh well, maybe
if he'd had more than an average of a half meal per day over the past two
weeks he would have been better equipped to wage war.
    "Akane," he said quietly, "I'm sorry, I--" but the words burned in his
throat.
    "It's not your fault, Ranma," Akane's voice had lost its normal tone of
strength, and that fact sent shudders through Ranma, "I shouldn't have
somehow created some psychopathic murderer for a pancake.  I caused us to be
hurt, you didn't let it happen."
    Ranma enveloped his sandwich in a single all-powerful chomping and
inhaling movement and decided to try to change the current mood, "Well, why
don't you eat something?  I know we've had a bad day with food-" Okay, let's
make a few understatements "-but ya just gotta show it who's boss.  See,
that sandwich a' mine didn't stand a chance and I didn't even have to hit
it."
    Akane produced a sandwich from her backpack and looked at it, "I think
I'll pass.  I don't think I can eat right now anyway, my stomach is still
inside-out.  Well, it feels like it is, anyway."  Okay, that was all Ranma
could stand of this stuff.
    "Akane, listen," Ranma took her left hand with both of his and looked
her dead in the eye, "The next time something like this happens and it looks
like I'm going to lose a fight, don't get into it.  If you have to, run.  Do
anything so long as you don't get hurt.  I can handle myself, even if it
doesn't look like it.  You may have saved me from a few extra injuries but I
can handle that.  I'm used to it.  I've trained my entire life to overcome
my limits and win fights that need to be won, but never - not once - have I
trained to see people getting hurt trying to help me.  I'd rather be without
the help."
    "But you *needed* help!  You may be one of the best fighters around but
right now you're also the most starved person I know.  I don't know what
your father is thinking with this training of his but because of it you're
not nearly up to your normal abilities."
    "Whether or not I'm up to full shape, I can handle absolutely anything
that comes around, and although you're known as someone not to mess with, if
something is beating me you don't stand a chance."
    Yeah right! "If it hadn't been for me that pancake would probably be
rampaging through downtown Tokyo by now!  Didn't you even bother to notice
that it was gone when you came back outside?  Did you think just for a
second, 'Hey, Akane just won this fight,'  No, you didn't.  And now, after I
worked so hard for you, after I fought so you could have the time to get off
of the ground, and after I gave my all to kill that thing when you couldn't
you're telling me that I don't stand a chance!  Why?"

Meanwhile...

    "Ah yes, I remember those glorious days.  For once, the wretched Saotome
was utterly powerless before me!"  Kuno stood with a group of classmates,
his hair flapping about in a cold winter breeze, "And yet, after such
glorious times his hold on Akane and the pig-tailed girl remains... How?"
    "Well Kuno, they are kinda engage--
    "Silence!"  Kuno drew his bokken and in a single fluid motion smashed it
upon the boy's head, preventing him from producing more blasphemy, "As if
your brain could produce answers to such mind boggling problems!"
    "Yeah guys, I think Kuno here needs to ponder this question by himself,
no need for the rest of us to overwork ourselves."
    "Ahh," Kuno sighed as he stroked his chin in a thoughtful way, "I see
that one of you has acknowledged my genius.  Of course, I alone could solve
such a problem."
    "Well, I never said you'd solve your problem - I just said there was no
reason for the rest of us to worry about it--"  Kuno smacked the second
impudent boy in the forehead with his bokken in such a way as to cause him
maximum pain in the two seconds he was awake after impact. The gate to the
school creaked open and as Kuno sheathed his bokken he turned to see who the
late arrival was.
    A blue-eyed boy with jet black hair strode onto the school grounds.  He
carried with him an empty backpack, which jerked about with the wind.  Kuno
didn't instantly recognize him, but he felt that he should somehow know this
person.  Something about his demeanor seemed familiar, but that was
something to worry about another time.  Akane Tendo and the Pig-Tailed girl
were more important, after all.
    The newcomer approached the group, his eyes obviously tracking Kuno as
he moved.  He took small steps, which could have been mistaken for a sign of
timidness if not for his relaxed expression.  He was slightly tall for his
age, although not as much as Kuno, but other than his slightly eerie
crystalline blue eyes he was just another average Japanese person.
    Wait - The *eyes* - Kuno's brain quickly sifted through his memories and
found a match: Apsu Tetsumi.  Apsu had one thing in common with Kuno and one
thing in common with almost half the Nerima population.  On the former, he
had obviously fallen for the fair Akane Tendo over a year ago - and on the
latter his primary goal in life was to become "the best martial artist in
Japan".
    Ah yes, Kuno smiled as the memories flooded forth.  Apsu, although a
good fighter himself, had never lived up to his talk of being the best.  His
family was supposedly carrying on a long held tradition in the Art but Kuno
had never seen Apsu's promised world-class skills and had endless fun
observing (and sometimes sabotaging) the misguided martial artist's antics.
Somewhere along the line Apsu had managed to gain favor with Akane despite
her supposed hatred of the men she knew, and that had brought Kuno to
action.
    He remembered it well; from the glorious opening slashes that tore into
the Tetsumi's flesh to the titanic struggle that Apsu promised, but couldn't
quite muster after taking such damage.  Apsu even tried to deny that he was
using subtle influences to break Akane to his will, but anyone might resort
to lying as the jaws of defeat closed around them.  This was one rival that
Kuno had utterly disposed of:  The day after Apsu was defeated he announced
that he was leaving Japan with his father to attain the combat skills
necessary to ensure that he would never be beaten again in his life.  More
brags, Kuno assured himself - But he decided that wouldn't matter.  Apsu was
no longer a rival with Ranma around, and as such there was no need to smite
him again.
    "Apsu," Kuno said almost fondly as the blue eyed boy joined his small
group of admirers, "I see you've decided to finally come back.  Tell me, did
you manage to acquire the elusive fighting skills you set out to attain?"
    "You could say that, although I bit off more than I thought when I asked
my father to make me the best martial artist on Earth.  I'm not completely
done with my training, but I'd say I'm a match for your standard Nerima
fighter now."
    "You've learned modesty, I see: A trait I never associated with you
before.  Perhaps, if not for your obsession with the fair Akane Tendo I
would be compelled to end our long standing rivalry."
    "I never was obsessed with Akane, Grand Master Perv - You were just mad
because I could say more than a word to her without getting my head crushed.
How is she these days, anyway?"
    Kuno looked across the school grounds at the mention of Akane to find
the object of his love - he had heard that she had been injured in a fight
but when he saw her and offered words of kindness she had returned the favor
with a mighty punch to his stomach. Such strength was to be admired, but the
throbbing pain in Kuno's abdomen would probably remain for some time.  He
heard Akane's beautiful voice and turned to bask in her visually pleasing
features.
    Visually... angry features.  To Kuno's surprise Akane had at least
temporarily escaped Ranma's foul influence and had applied herself fully to
extracting revenge on the vile spell-weaver.  Her kicks, her punches, her
every movement carried enough power to level a building.  Unfortunately
Akane's attacks met with nothing but air, as Ranma was evading her like the
snake he was.
    "Well, I guess Akane'll never change," Apsu said, stifling the urge to
enter the fight on Akane's side, "Then again, the guys around here never
change either.  I'm glad I'm not a girl - if I had to deal with all these
perverted freaks I'd die instantly."  He watched Akane as he spoke, noting
that her fighting style hadn't changed much but that the last year had
brought her increased speed.  Seeing combat brought a flare of energy to
Apsu's already crystalline blue eyes, and as he watched the battle his heart
danced the dance of combat.  Akane's powerful blows, her opponents fluid
movements, and even a frosty gust of wind combined to form an irresistible
urge in his heart to enter all or nothing combat.  Must resist... Can't
resist.
    "Kuno," he said, pulling the kendoist's attention away from Akane, "I
want a rematch, and I want it now."
    "Our grievance is past, Tetsumi.  I care only for Akane Tendo and you
are no longer the one who keeps me from her.  If the wretched Saotome evades
Akane's godlike punches I will smite him myself, for a man should always
accept due punishment when he was wronged others."
    "I couldn't have said it better myself.  You wronged me the last time we
met and I haven't had the opportunity to set things straight until now - so
how bout it?  One fight - with one winner - to decide once and for all who
is better.  After all, the vengeance of heaven is slow but sure, is it not?"
    Kuno smiled as he drew his bokken, "That it is, Tetsumi, that it is.
Let us see if heaven is on your side today, and let this be the end of our
pointless rivalry."
    Apsu tossed his backpack onto the ground and snapped into a combat
stance, "Any last words before the shooting star smacks into the ground?"
    "It's 'Blue Thunder', and yes; I do believe I have a short statement: I
SHALL SMITE THEE!"

    "Geez Akane," Ranma said in mid flight as he rubbed his stomach, "It's
great that you want to show me this new technique of yours, but if you
insist on using me as a demonstration dummy at least get it over with when I
let you hit me-" his feet landed smoothly on the surface of the tree,
crumbling a bit of bark which spattered on a course for the ground, and he
leapt off of the tree on a spinning course for the ground "-I really don't
like taking pointless punches-" he landed smoothly on the ground and bolted
to the side to avoid premature destruction at Akane's hands "-especially
when I'm-" Akane faked a punch and forged ahead with a spinning hook kick
"-already hurt!"  Ranma took a half second to wipe the sweat from his
forehead, then took another half second to note that he shouldn't have even
broken a sweat with his simple dodging routine.
    And what's this with the anger deal, anyway?  Couldn't Akane have taken
a little while to find another source of chi - perhaps one that was more
stable and easier to control?  Well - in any case Akane's reliance on anger
gave Ranma the perfect tool of control.  Akane thought she was going to get
mad enough to use the technique and plaster him when he least expected it
but Ranma warmed to the idea of getting out of the way and letting Akane
blow something else up instead - he wasn't exactly fit to absorb
pancake-killing chi blasts...

    Apsu moved quickly as Kuno attempted to slice the fabric of space in his
quest to defeat the blue-eyed martial artist.  Kuno strode forth and with
unparalleled speed stabbed at his enemy only do be denied as the Tetsumi
heir blurred out of sight.  Where'd the speed devil go, anyway?
    A noise to the left caught Kuno's attention; he turned and prepared to
slash a pattern of destruction through the air - too late.  Apsu's right
fist came from seemingly nowhere and crashed into Kuno's jaw rather
violently.  Kuno stepped back and snapped his sword into a defensive
position only to have it ripped from his hands and thrown into the air.  He
moved to recover his weapon but was halted by an elbow strike to the
stomach.  Apsu followed through with a palm strike to the kendoists side and
knocked the almighty Blue Thunder to the ground.
    Kuno stood and dusted off his uniform; "Very good, I must say - but the
Blue Thunder is not beaten so easily!"  He eyed his bokken, which he
intended to retrieve as soon as possible, and charged Apsu with his fists
clenched.  He punched at Apsu, feeling awkward without his bokken, and
yelped in pain when his arm was twisted into a pretzel-shape by the elbow.
His feet took flight, courtesy of a leg sweep from Apsu, and he slammed into
the cold earth again.  The sound of running footsteps filled his ears and he
quickly brought himself back to his feet - Apsu had gone too far to abort
this engagement.  He spotted his bokken and moved to get it but a crackling
noise from above caught his attention.  He looked up to see Apsu descending
from the sky with a massive ball of electric chi in hand and he knew that
this fight was over if he didn't move *now*.  His legs kicked into motion
but a chi blast tore from above and knocked him back into the ground.
Electricity zapped through his body and overloaded his nervous system,
causing him to writhe and scream in agony.  Apsu's collected chi energy
changed forms as his descent neared its end and he landed in an extremely
explosive fashion.  Kuno's agonizing screams ceased immediately as he was
knocked deep into a newly formed crater and his head wobbled about in an
incoherent manner.
    "Smite... thee..." and the Blue Thunder lost consciousness.
    Apsu stood over Kuno with half the student body of Fuurinkan staring at
him.  He looked from person to person, not sure what, if anything, to say.
He looked at his palms and drew an immediate rush from the memory of his
descending chi blast.  He wanted more - it seemed odd to him that he would
*want* to fight so suddenly, but such power was useless without an opponent.
Oh well, he had a fiancee at home waiting for him so wasting more time with
Kuno wasn't an option.  He headed toward the entrance to the school after
snatching his bag - after he was registered as a student with Fuurinkan he'd
head home, maybe enjoy a movie with Michelle later tonight...
    Maybe get grabbed from behind while he wasn't paying attention.
Electric energy arced across Kuno's body and zapped between him and Apsu as
he picked the insolent, cheating boy into the air.  Electricity pumped
through his veins and stimulated his muscles as massive amounts of
adrenaline entered his bloodstream.  He roared incoherently and threw Apsu
into the air in a fit of rage.  Cold air replaced Apsu's reserves of warmth
as he line-drived toward a nearby tree.  He braced for impact but collided
with a powerful force before hitting the tree.  His left kidney protested
against the collision with a fist-sized semi truck and he involuntarily
turned his back to the tree before impact.
    Akane's fist hung in the air - she had tried to hit Ranma and she had
missed, but she definitely hit someone - and whoever it had been was about
to be in bad shape.  She regained her bearings and identified the unlucky
individual as Apsu.  She'd seen him getting into a fight with Kuno while she
was busy with Ranma but she hadn't exactly been in a situation to have a
friendly chat.  She just hoped that the Sugoiken wouldn't do too much to him
(And why was it so slow this time? It should have been instant...)
    Apsu noticed a wave of blue chi as it began to penetrate his body - it
felt cold as it touched on the innermost parts of his body, so cold...  His
chi kicked into motion and began attempting countermeasures against the new
invader - everything from neutralization force to counter-explosions - and a
war ravaged on the cellular level.
    "Akane?"  He stepped forward, his face newly pale and his figure weak,
"Nice to see... you.  Again."  An explosion from chi interactions jolted him
to the side as he spoke, "I beat Kuno..."
    Ranma completed his tac-nuke evasion technique of temporary flight and
landed on the ground next to Akane,  "So where's the big explosion?"
    Apsu's chi retreated to safer places and locked itself up deep within
him after taking a massive and futile drain in its attempt to counter the
Sugoiken.  His remaining stores of energy allocated themselves to damage
control - although Apsu couldn't know what was going on his body had a rough
idea.  Like a virus, Akane's chi invaded his body, cell by cell, and rapidly
placed little packets of explosive energy throughout his structure as it
took new territory.  In short, he was about to be blown apart - but he had
safeguards against such instant death attacks.  He finally brought his
conscious mind into play and prepared a burst of healing energy which he
would hopefully release simultaneously with the explosion that he sensed was
coming.
    "He lied,"  Akane panicked and ran forward, ignoring her own injured
state, "Apsu, don't resist it!  Just let it pass!"  She tried to call the
attack off but found that she didn't quite have as much control over her chi
as Happousai had demonstrated.
    The piercing sound of the Sugoiken in slow motion began to shriek across
the grounds of Fuurinkan High and the second wave of energy appeared in
front of Apsu.  It penetrated his body quickly, but thankfully skipped the
burning and warping stages of the attack.  To Apsu it was as if a great
weight had been lifted, and his chi set about some minor damage control as
his body's energy level lowered below that of a nuclear power plant.
    "So is this punch a chi drain or something?  What's the deal - I thought
it was explosive or some--"  Ranma was cut off by a thunderous explosion,
and the ground below him jolted away from his feet.  He looked again to Apsu
as he began to cope with the quake-like shaking and saw the blue-eyed boy
being crushed into the tree that he and Akane had been sitting under
earlier.  The tree shattered into sawdust and scattered into the wind but
Apsu was not so fortunate.  A burning aura of chi engulfed him and
detonated, sending the boy flying helplessly into the sky as his screams
fell upon the ears of everyone within a few blocks.
    Blue streams of lightning arced along the length of Kuno's bokken as he
watched Apsu flail into the sky.  He slashed downward, slicing a clean cut
through the ground below him, and bellowed with embarrassed rage, "Come back
you mewling coward!  I SHALL SMITE THEE!"
    Ranma reached into hammerspace and produced a set of high powered
binoculars from the infinite store of random items.  Apsu was flying into
the air, Kuno style, but he was on a line drive course heading southwest
rather than a course for low Earth orbit.  After confirming that the
newcomer was still in one piece Ranma dropped the binoculars to the ground
and took in a little visual information on Akane.
    Speaking of Akane, she stood in shock as the wails and screams of Apsu
dissipated into the distance.  She looked at the stub that remained of a
formerly healthy tree and slowly backed away.  Her heard pounded, her mind
raced, her body shook.
     "Beware of showing off with this new power," Happousai had said, "May
the Kami forgive me if this technique is ever mis-used," he said, "THAT is
power," he drilled into her mind.  She looked at her fists and the energy
that danced excitedly around them.  Her mouth slumped open as she lost the
will to control it.
    "Akane?"  Ranma asked as his fiancee backed away, "Hey, are you okay?"
    "I hereby pledge," Akane said mechanically from memory, "that as a
student of the Tendo and Saotome schools of Anything-Goes martial arts," her
eyes began to water, her shaking became more pronounced, and her voice
crackled, "that I will use the art to better myself physically and
emotionally.  I will not use the techniques I learn except to defend myself
or to defend those who cannot defend themselves..."
    "Akane, hold on a second here.  You didn't mean to hit that guy!  Snap
outta this!"
    She looked at Ranma, who apparently didn't get it, "That doesn't matter!
I - I think I need to be by myself for a while."  She started to back away,
and when Ranma began to approach her she ran faster than she had in a long
time.  The cold January wind blasted at her legs and face as she began to
outdistance Ranma, who was slower than usual due to his leg injuries.  Tears
streamed down her face and scattered into the wind.
    She felt cold... so very cold...
            Cold...
            Run...
            Too cold...


Chapter Three is coming soon to an inbox near you.

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