Okay, the following is just a little (okay, BIG) joke I came up with, sorta
goes around the question of "How hentai is the cast of R1/2 anyways?"
This is at its most, a parody on analists(Sp?).
====
*The title Petey SCinGer comes up, the main cast of R1/2 is sitting up on
the stage and Petes is dressed like Springer*
[Petes]Today I'm here to ask this question, how hentai is the cast of Ranma 1/2.
[Audience]WHOOOO!!!
[Petes]First lets begin with Akane Tendou.
[Akane]Lets NOT! *starts to pull out a mallet and is restrained by security*
[Petes]Lets start off with P-chan, we all know she sleeps with the little
black guy. But do we know what she does in bed with him!?
[Akane]*tries to attack Petes, but is put in a straitjacket*
[Ryouga]*nosebleeds*
[Petes]How can we not assume that she has a little pig fetish? Perhaps Akane
here is a beastality. Or perhaps she knows of Ryouga's curse and has a
kettle next to her bed just in case...
[Akane]*Too busy swearing to hear the remark of Ryouga being P-chan*
[Petes]And what of the forrest of years arc? Don't you think she got a bit
of jollies from spanking Ranma?
[Akane]*rips off the straightjacket and is taken out of the building by
security before she can kill Petes*
[Petes]And what of Kasumi?
[Kasumi]Oh my.
[Petes]Haven't you ever wondered why she wears long skirts? And no it isn't
that she's a floating torso as SDGP has you to believe. It's to cover up the
whip and spanking marks left from her and Ono Tofuu's little perverted nights!
[Kasumi]*looks away nearvously*
[Tofuu]*glasses fog up*
[Petes]And speaking of Tofuu...
[Tofuu]*suprised look*
[Petes]I did a background check and I found out that he ISN'T in fact Ono
Tofuu, but.... Ataru Moroboshi! *pulls off Tofuu's glasses and pony tail to
reveal a goofy faced Ataru*
[Ataru/Tofuu]*is chased off the stage by a parade of female aliens, an irate
school girl, a crossdresser, a shinto preistess, a trio of teenagers wearing
"Lum fanclub" T-shirts, a big ghost cat, and a small ugly monk*
[Petes]Now onto Ryouga Hibiki...
[Ryouga]<Uh oh.>
[Petes]It's obvious that our friend "Good Fangs" couldn't be tricked by
Ranma's disguises, so why does he try to kiss him/her? Because he has some
bizzare fantasy of having "nuku nuku" with his rival!
[Ryouga]*big nosebleed*
[Petes]And, I'll bet the he was actualy fooled by the Yoiko disguise and
spnaked her because the thought of naughy stuff with a female relative turns
him on!
[Ryouga]*mega nosebleed*
[Petes]And let not forget that he constanty comes into akward situations
with girls like Akane, Ukyou and Shampoo...
[Ryouga]*His nose, no longer able to take the bombardment of hentainess,
explodes, he falls back unconscious, and is dragged off my a team of
paramedics and surgens trained in rhinoplasty*
[Petes]Speaking of Ukyou... Have you ever wondered how far she'd take that
"boy" act of hers?
[Ukyou]O_O
[Petes]I bet she has a few fantasies featuring Shampoo now and then.
[Shampoo]*slowly edges away from Ukyou*
[Ukyou]*tries to tell Shamps it's not true*
[Petes]And this brings us to Shampoo.
[Shampoo]O_O
[SCGers]NANI!?!?!? O_O
[Petes]Sure we all know that she's a bunch of bouncyness wrapped up in a
kiwaii body, but have you ever thought just what alternative reasons Ll&Rr
may have come to see their "big sister" Shampoo?
And what about Bake-neko, perhaps Shampoo already knew about him, and they
got around to doing what married couples do... And he IS a big cat...
*unknown to Petes, his subconscious side of his brain is commanding his left
hand to put a gun to his head. It pulls the trigger, silencing Petes'
sickening rambles, and his head reforms*
[Petes]My, that was an odd experience.
All in all, Sham-chan isn't that big a hentai. (obviously Petes has returned
to his senses)
[Shampoo]*sigh of relief*
[Petes]But what about Nodoka?
[Nodoka]*brings her hand to her mouth in a "oh my" expression*
[Petes]Does she have a "stronger" relationship with her estranged son than
we think? And does she truly know that Mr Panda is Genma, and she takes
advantage of it? And what of her and Soun?
[Nodoka]*reaches for her katana*
[Soun]*breaks into tears*
[Petes]Speaking of Soun...
[Soun]*pulls out his demon head*
[Petes]Just how much of a father figure is he? Why is it that he always ends
up with Kasumi? is "Saotome" his pet name for Genma?
[Genma]*slowly edges away from Soun*
[Soun]*moves closer to Genma*
[Petes]And we close with Ranma.
[Ranma]*"eeks" and jumps into the air*
[Petes]Let's admit it, the guy has some weird 5-way cooked up in his head
that involves Akane, Shampoo, Ukyou and Kodachi. He also probably had a
weird thing going on with Ryouga at a point. And I'll bet he did a little
more than listen to Laichi...
[Ranma]Lies! Lies! All lies!
[Petes]And so we come to a close, thinking what perverse world the great
Takahashi came up with when she wrote Ranma 1/2. Thank you and g'night!
---Petes-kun
Founder & Leader of the <SCG>, and member of <USURP>, <KTF> and <SSoAGMA>
Master of Anything Goes Jusenkyo Curse Martial Arts
Victim no.1# of The Evil Jusenkyou Curser, What Curses at... Whenever!
Hoarder of Ranma hentai at http://members.tripod.com/~MMPH/index.html
Visit the SCG home page http://www.angelfire.com/mo/scgcompound/index.html
ICQ me at: 17781722
"I would gladly smite thee Ranma Saotome, but I have no hands."
-Kunou cursed with SOD Coconut Monkey