I think this story could be REALLY funny if Shampoo and Ranma decide
they want to try to keep it a secret after it happens, hoping to find a

cure

before anybody else figures it out (perhaps Shampoo will get in deep
trouble for messing with an artifact she shouldn't have touched, and
Ranma's just plain embarrassed).  Scenes in which Ranma and Shampoo
try to imitate one another could really be a riot, if done cleverly.

Language is going to give them away immediately.  Ranma can fake Shampoo's
Japanese, probably badly, but Ranma can't speak Chinese, and eventually
Mousse or Cologne would figure it out.  Might take longer if they were
speaking to Shampoo in Japanese only on purpose, to force her to learn the
language, but even then, customers and suppliers at the Nekohanten are
frequently Chinese, and I assume they would attempt to speak Chinese to
Ranma.

Would be fun to see a scene where Ranma tries to negotiate with a
wholesaler, without speaking Chinese and without having a clue what she's
buying.  ^_^

Yeah, that's the sort of thing that would be a riot.  To maintain any 
level of plausibility at all, they'd probably only be scheduled to try the
ruse for a short period of time (while they make preparations to go find
a cure), but if it's played for laughs, it could be really neat.

For instance, Ranma just nods stupidly in agreement every time 
Cologne or Mousse says something to her in Chinese, which gets
her into all sorts of trouble.  Or she pretends to have laryngitis to get
out of speaking Chinese, until Cologne starts pouring foul-tasting 
"ancient Amazon remidies" down her throat.  It could be funny, and
with a minimum of stupidity applied to the other characters, nobody
would catch on too quickly (they might think something WEIRD is
going on, but not be able to guess what).

Shampoo, on the other hand, would be hopelessly out of her depth trying to
talk like Ranma.  If you subscribe to the theory that she's not an
empty-headed bimbo (just acts like one at times for effect), then she'd be
smart enough to try to get by without speaking, which might make Akane think
Ranma was in one of his moods.  Also, she could probably toss out the
standard Ranma insults without arousing too much suspicion.  "Kawaiikune!
Baka!  Um... Kawaiikune!"  But when she's forced to do more than say yes or
no or nod her head, she'll be toast.  ^_^

Then again, I could just see Akane leaping to the wrong conclusion...  "Why
is that baka trying to imitate Shampoo all of a sudden?  Is he trying to
make fun of me?"

The ability of the Ranma cast to jump to the wrong conclusion could really
be played to great effect in a story like this.  And Shampoo would have to
put up with the oddities of life around the Tendou Dojo - Genma's sneak-attacks,
Nabiki's con jobs, Akane's hair-trigger temper.  To cope with the language
thing, she might resort to quoting lines directly that she's heard on television,
hoping they'll sound "authentically" Japanese.  Of couse, they'll assuredly be
the cheesiest things you've ever heard (from commercials and sitcoms), and
everyone at the Tendou home will think "Ranma" needs his head examined.
Alternatively, she might desperately consult a book on "Proper Japanese 
Grammar," and come off sounding more like Kuno than Ranma.

I'm suspicious that when it comes to Soun or Genma putting pressure on Ranma
to marry Akane, Shampoo might not be able to resist saying, "Ranma not marry
violent girl!  Ranma marry Shampoo!"  Even IF she's trying her hardest to
act like Ranma, it would be difficult for her to pass this opportunity up...
^_^

She and Ranma might have a Mutually Assured Destruction pact - if
Shampoo starts saying that "Ranma" wants to marry Shampoo, then
Ranma will have "Shampoo" propose to Mousse.  That might not stop
her from trying something devious, but these things do tend to backfire
in the most extraordinary ways...

Grayson Towler
grayson@rigroup.net

http://www.rigroup.com/~grayson/relentless