Wella, it's an actual fanfic now, as opposed to a thinly disguised
character argument.

Good points: Shampoo was done well, and the scenes involving only her came
across fine. The 'training' segments were quite well done.

The initial conversation between Ranma and Akane (the one that sparked the
mess was uglier than the usual interplay between the two, but still
believeable. It would be quite IC for Ranma to insult Shampoo's looks in
order to calm down an irate Akane if he thought Shamps wasn't around to
hear him; it's the sort of cop-out Ranma often indulges in.

Bad points: You're still demonizing the other characters. Akane, contrary
to how she appears in the fic, doesn't swear like a sailor and verbally
attack Shampoo on sight. The two aren't exactly good friends - heck, it'd
be a stretch to say that they even like each other - but even during
actual fights between the two, they rarely go beyond defiant/challenging
statements.

Likewise with Ranma. Somehow, I just can't picture him calling her a
'bitch' for defeating him. Stunned and disbelieving that he lost, yes.
Sullen because he lost, yes. Defiant, yes. But angry at Shampoo for fairly
beating him, to the point of a pretty severe insult? Nope.

Akane and Ranma don't have a single positive quality in this work. If you
ask me to believe that this is in accordance with Takahashi's work...

Again, you don't have to demonize the rest of the cast to make Shampoo
look good. Let her succeed through her own merits, not flaws grafted on to
others.

-ML