-----Original Message-----
From: Mike Allen <allenmk@gte.net>
To: Fanfiction Mailing List <ffml@fanfic.com>
Date: Thursday, September 10, 1998 5:53 PM
Subject: [FFML][Ranma 1/2][SI]Misty -- Chapter 1

Misty - Chapter 1

    The characters contained within are the property of Rumiko Takahashi.
The only exception is the SI character. Ms. Takahashi has sold he rights of
her characters to many companies. I will glumly cease and desist upon the
request of Ms. Takahashi or any of her agents.

Yeah, but who own the rights to YOUR character, huh?  Huh?

Maybe the rights go to the first who claims them.  Since you haven't yet:

"The character of Mike Allen is copyright M A Davis.  Oh, and the character
of M A Davis / Miko is copyright M A Davis / Miko (ha, thought you could
turn the tables on me, did you?).  And while we're at it, everyone else on
the FFML is copyright M A Davis, and don't think you're going to get to use
yourselves in a story without  a letter from my lawyer,
muhahahahahahahaha!!!!"

(Look out, folks, Miko's in a mood again... who knows if any useful C&C will
actually come out of this?)

    As I entered my den, I saw someone climbing out of the monitor. "You
didn't hear what I just said, did you?"  I grinned nervously, knowing that
she had.

This seems like a lightning-quick leap of logic bordering on intuitive
knowledge or something.  I mean, I see someone climb out of my monitor, my
brain shuts down, right?  I don't instantaneously realize that this is a
real goddess and she just heard me say something stupid like, "I wish I were
Cologne, that would be really fun wouldn't it?"

Even if you added a line like "My mind leapt to the obvious conclusion.", it
at least gives the reader some indication that you had to think, that the
knowledge of what was happening wasn't instantly planted into your head by
divine will.

Then again, since you're writing about yourself, who am I to say that divine
will wasn't exactly how it occured?  ^_^

Yes, I know.  We want to get to the meat of the story, we don't want to
dwell on the begining scene overly long.  ^_^

Anyway, I don't want to get in a character debate about how Mike Allen
should be written, because you know you write yourself completely out of
character.  I'm the only one who knows how to write Mike Allen correctly.
And it's a pointless and boring SI story to boot, but of course, ALL
fanfiction is pointless and boring and full of bizaare characterizations,
except for the story that I'm going to write any day now which will be
perfect.  And don't ask me why I read pointless and boring stories, because
the answer is obvious:  I'm here to point out to everyone else how pointless
and boring they are, so you don't have to find out on your own.  See?  I'm
helping you!

(Hey, I said I was in one of those moods, didn't I?)

    Panic began to settle in my heart as I looked around the room I was

in.

While it looked familiar, it definitely wasn't the master bedroom of my
home.  It was a very comfortable, tastefully decorated room.  There were
windows to my left, past the night stand with the alarm clock on it and
windows behind him running the length of the wall.  Against the wall I was

behind him?  Do you mean you?  Except you're not a him?  Is the alarm clock
a him?

There's an SI Spamfic idea:  Miko accidentally wishes to be in an anime, and
winds up becoming Kasumi's alarm clock.  ^_^

facing, there was a chest of drawers and a vanity with a stool to sit on in
front of it.  On my right was a closet and the exit to the room.  The bed I
was in had a blue cotton cover over white sheets.  Next to the bed, on my
right, was a large plant in a stand.  The room was both immaculately kept
and obviously a woman's bedroom.

    Hoping that my dream really was a dream and this was just a huge
practical joke, I finally looked at myself.  It became quickly apparent

that

the wish had not been a dream.  For instead of seeing myself, I saw a very
feminine body wearing a simple, full length pink nightgown.

quickly apparent?  There you go again, making Mike Allen out to be some
super-genius.  I have no idea where these bizaare characterizations of Mike
Allen come from.  Maybe Lawson wrote a Mike Allen fic that I don't know
about yet, and everyone's copying his twisted ideas, including you... and
you should know better, since you ARE Mike Allen!  Obviously the fact that
you don't know how to characterize yourself proves my point that you're no
super-genius.  ^_^  Like I am, by the way.

I'll have that perfect fan fic story out any day now.  Well, right after
someone writes their own perfect fic first.  But we know that won't happen,
because only I can write a perfect fan fic.  ^_^

Okay, okay, I'll stop being weird and get back to some actual C&C.  Gomen!
^_^

    Closing my eyes and pinching myself very hard to wake up from the
dream, I reopened my eyes finding myself still there.  Quelling my panic, I

need a comma... "eyes, finding"

tried to find out who I was.  I noticed that I had waist length dark hair.
Standing, I got the impression that I was taller than an average woman.

I don't know if it was just an innate knowledge -- women's intuition,
perhaps? -- or the fact that my head kept knocking plaster from the
ceiling...

    "Honestly, I can't believe him.  Ranma didn't even try to take my
side," she fumed as she left the room.  She definitely needed to run now,

if

for no other reason, than to relax.

_then_ to relax.

    Dread and fear began creeping over me again as I heard those words, <I
can't be Kasumi Tendo!  I was born a man and have a wife and two little
children.  I can't be you! What will happen to my family?>

    <Your family will be fine.  A new spirit has been sent in to take your
place and from what I understand, he's really going to work out fine,>
Misty tried to reassure me.

    <What do you mean, he's going to work out fine.  That's MY wife and MY
children!>  I was now angry, my fear forgotten.  <How can I get back?>

You know, the whole concept behind this fic is actually quite a bit like a
short story called "Changeling" by Graham Masterson, found in an erotic
horror anthology called "Hot Blood".  Just thought I'd mention it, in case
anyone wanted to track it down.  ^_^  That one doesn't involve godesses,
wishes, or anime characters, mind you.  ^_^

    A feeling of sorrow flowed into me from Misty, <I'm sorry, dear.
You're here because of a wish, isn't that correct?>

    <Yeah, what of it?  I asked how to get back!>  If I could have, I

would

have been holding Misty by the shoulders.

    <You wished to be a character in a manga or anime show, right?> Misty
was getting a little cross with being yelled at.

How do you know?  This is from Mike's point of view, right?  What makes you
(Mike) assume Misty is getting cross?  Right now this is treated more as
information from the author to the reader, rather than something Mike
discerns in Misty's tone.

    <Yes, I didn't mean to.  It was a mistake!>  I had the grace to be
ashamed as I said that.

    With a sigh, Misty asked me one last thing, <Tell me, would you have
asked to become Kasumi Tendo, if you were given a second chance at the
wish?>

    <NO!  I'm sorry, but Kasumi is always being shown as either Little

Miss

Homemaker or a complete airhead.>

    <Hmph, I never was a frumpy homemaker or an airhead,> Misty said in an
insulted tone.

    Realizing that I had gone too far, I quickly apologized, <I'm sorry,
Misty.  I'm just not myself today.>

    Laughing at the unintended gaffe, Misty forgave her, <It's okay.>

Misty forgave her?  You're slipping out of first person narrative here.
"Misty forgave me,"

    <Right.  Now I have to use the force to find the bathroom!  Help me
Obi-Wan Kenobi, you're my only flush!>

Ha!

The urge to tinkle is strong in this one!

I'd better stop right there... a dozen more lines come to mind, each one
worse than the last...

    <Don't I own some culottes or skorts?> I wasn't ready to wear a dress.
<I don't want to wear a skirt.  I want some time to get used to the idea.>

    <I'm sorry.  You don't own any shorts, pants, jeans or split skirts.
The clothes that you own are dresses, skirts, jumpers, kimonos and other
conservatively feminine styles.> Misty tried to gently tell her.

Misty tried to gently tell her?

Slipping out of first person again.  ^_^

    <Why?> I asked in confusion. <Why don't I have some pants or something
like that?  Nabiki wears hot pants when she's not in her school uniform

most

of the time.>

    With a sigh, Misty timidly offered, <You are not going to like this.
Are you sure you want to know?>

    <Sure,> was the sarcastic reply. <This day has pretty well suc...

This

day started bad and immediately went to he... ARGH!> My thoughts step slow
in frustration, I tried again, <Da... Oh My! My day has started out rather

My thoughts step slow in frustration?  I'm not even sure what you meant to
say there.

poorly, I'm sure it couldn't get any worse. Please, tell me the rest of

it.>

I continued grousing, <I love having the thought police in my head!>

It's the dream police!  Now it all makes sense!  It's a Cheap Trick song!

    <I didn't trick you.> Misty happily said. <You would be out of
character to claim out loud to be someone else, especially a man!  Just

like

you can't think certain words, some things you cannot say either.>  Knowing
what she was going to say next was not welcome, she sobered and in a very
nurturing voice continued, <As you adjust to your new life, you will always

You slip out of first person again here... telling us what Misty's thinking,
when Mike can't know that.

    I watched Ryouga covertly as Mr. Nokomura described the operation.  By
the time he had finished the description, Ryouga had his legs crossed as
tightly as they could be, his hands were covering his genital area and he
looked as if he was ready to pass out.  Unfortunately, my body betrayed me
and blushed as he covered himself.

    "That sounds very easy to perform.  Does it cost much?"  I was

enjoying

this.  By the time I was finished, P-Chan would never visit the Tendo home
again.

You're mean!  But in a kind way, because nobody really gets hurt.
Ingenious!

Heh, maybe I'll have to conceed that this Mike Allen character is a
super-genius after all!

    "We really must be going.  We have to shop and then I must make dinner
for my family."  Ryouga was up in a flash and through the door before I had
finished.  "I'm truly sorry for his rudeness, Mr. Nokomura.  He's usually
much extremely polite."

usually much more polite, or usually extremely polite... I can't let you get
away with both at once, eve if you are a genius!  ^_^

Very nice so far!  Much improved... the story clearly was well worth
expanding!  ^_^

    End

    I hope that you liked my little story. As usual, any C&C, MST's,

flames

or thoughts are welcome.

Okay then, I think I'll have a drink.  ^_^

Miko!

"When I use a word," Humpty Dumpty said, in a rather a scornful tone, "it
means just what I choose it to mean -- neither more nor less."
"The question is," said Alice, "whether you can make words mean so many
different things."
"The question is," said Humpty Dumpty, "which is to be master -- that's
all."

(Lewis Carroll, Through The Looking-Glass)

Nausicaa@sprynet.com   Belldandy@angelic.com
Anime rpg at http://come.to/akane/
Fan Fiction at http://listen.to/bell/