Always Man wrote:

<SNIP>


    *Wince Wince*
    I hate to say this, really, truly, definitely, most loathingly hate to
say this.... but.... I see what he meant... he actually critiqued Lawson's
work accurately..... even Thy Outward Part, which is in itself one of my
favorite fics.
    I also would <With much regret and actually dragging this out of the
bowels of my being> like to agree with him on all the points he has
shown.... Kodachi is dealt with too abruptly..... I would never expect Ranma
to beat Cologne or Happosai in an all out Fight, and Ranma and Akane <Though
meant for eachother> Don't need to be resolved immediately.
    Rather resolve them slowly.... and if Akane has to find out about
Ryouga, DON'T do it so that it screws up the final showdown between
rivals???? I mean yes, Ryouga and Ranma are reluctant allies at times, but
*IF* You write something that pits them in a all out battle, you better make
it spectacular... because I want spectacular from those two at the least!
    As for Akane getting injured <I think? Haven't read TIL in a while>
yes.... I think it is a bit of a convenience in the story, and seems a trite
silly to me.
    As for Nabiki and Kuno... I have to also agree... what is it with people
and that Match up??? At least Ukyou and Ryouga have a semblance of some
friendship and comradery.... if you stretch it, it's believable that they
could get together.  But NABIKI and KUNO???? She uses Kuno for money, I've
never seen her even CARE about Kuno.
    Maybe it's just preferables, ne? Kuno is delusional, and Nabiki is
absolutely rational..... hmmm.. opposites attract? People might just want to
match them for the fact that they SEEM to compliment eachother.
    I also, regretably, found Kuno in "TOP"'s side story's a bit
unbelievable... and however romantic Kentaro and Ranma is.... mm... it
seemed realistic, and I still love reading it, but it just seems a bit
too..... urr.... I dunno.  Can't place an opinion on that.
    Nabiki, I think, would not surrender to just any man... the man must
dominate her in every way possible.... she must find a man who can match her
wit, and top it.  A man who can overcome her talents and impress her beyond
her self egotism.
    Maybe Nabiki should marry the Godfather of the Yakuza? heee hee heee...
    As for Ukyou being Mad.... I dunno... can't say much on that.
    But I do say this.... however reluctantly, Always Man's points are very
valid and rational.  Always, can I ask you for what you see good in the
story???

--
Sincerely....
Shimitsu Kaoru.
Lost "Dragon-Boy"
of Shimitsu-Ryuu.
Prince of Chaos.
"What makes a curse is simply the view, a blessing to some is a curse unto
you, But acceptance can conquer that fear you hold high, through acceptance
comes peace..... are you willing to try?"
   -Quote from Kaoru Shimitsu.
My Homepage at!
http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Garden/4534