At 08:11 AM 9/10/98 -0500, Keener cleverly scribed:
Please, stick with it, I have a point, really I do... if your not
willing to dredge through your normally scheduled parrotal spamage, just
go down to the star denoted paragraphs, pointed out for your ML weary
pleasure.
A Thought or Two...
<snipped out intorductory stuff>
"My name is Keener, sometimes known as the Parrot King, the Mad Bad
Bishonen Lad, and... if you have the cash, Mother Mistress of the
Leather Loofa... but enough about me." Sitting down, Keener smiled and
folded his arms dramatically and for no more effect then to fill up a
paragraph. "I've taken time out of my busy work a day Revenge's End and
suicidal fic schedule and my own little... special project," he reached
behind him, carefully pulling up the red curtain that dominated the rest
of the household furnishings. From underneath, sounds of carpentry,
tunatry, and even a bit of what the hallibutry made their way about the
hall. "To talk to you guys about... your friend and mine, Gubby."
* "My friends," slowly, and with much over use of posteration, he
placed a pair of glasses upon his face, Gendoed his fingers together in
front of his line of vision and then looked to the waiting audience.
"You've been had, you've been took! We didn't land under the bridge, the
bridge landed under us. Think for a moment boys and girls. Think, just
what if the critiquer formally known as snuckums was NOT a troll, was
not a C&Cer, but was in fact... merely a fic writer."
Standing beside the chair, he keep himself steady with one hand as
another wiped an errant tear from his face. "Not all of us can stand on
our Laurels, Hardy or no. Not all of us have the wonderful wit or scope
of the Lawson, or Biles... and even had we the talent, it's still takes
allot to get a fic noticed in this world. I've been online for a couple
of years now, spamming off and on, the odd humor bit, and LOTS of fics.
Still, my readership consists of little more then ten, counting my
prereaders. For us, we need a hook, a bit of freshly hewed fish carcass
to get the masses mouths awatering."
"To that end, I have created the third annual Blast-A-Thon. That's
right, a week of reposting, spamfics, the opening of Author's Retreat
Reviews, and of course, the Suicide Blast saga, including the newly
finished part three." Turning, eye's a blaze, he held up his hand. " I
plan to increase my readership by..." His palm up, he released his
digits to the heavens. "FOUR! Mwahahahah <gasp> ahahahhahah <wheeze>
ahhah <choke> heh heh... ahem."
* "Now then, how many of you think you'll be reading Always, the real
thing, Man's fic? Be honest... I'm standing on top of the world with the
heady thoughts of fourteen readers, our favorite critic can guarantee
himself ten times that number." Keener shrugged and popped a fudgie
wudgie down his throat. "See what I mean? If you've been reviewed,
you'll read it for some payback. People who hate, people who like and
even those staunch in there apathy will be reading this sucker when it
gets posted. You can't BUY publicity like this people. There's some mad
genius at work here, not since Oscar B Wyld has this much interest been
generated by a currently nonexistent fic."
Funny thing about publicity. It can make you respectable or it can make
you into an idiot of the highest caliber. If you don't believe me, ask Dan
Quayle. Howard Stern and Rush Limbaugh are publicity geniuses too, but that
doesn't mean I'm going to rush out and read their stuff or listen to it.
The "Man With Four Names" has indicated to me that he has very little to
say to me that has any value whatsoever. I will NOT be reading his little
fanfic when it comes out, IF it comes out. Nor will I comment on it. That
would be pointless since I have yet to agree with him on any issue that
I've read. It may be my loss, but I won't lose any sleep over it.
And no, I really don't give a damn if you disagree with my opinion.
Tempus Skylorn
"Never play an Ace if a Two will do."-The Great Red Dragon in Bone.
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