Here's the situation, the guy formerly known as THE GUY UNDER THE
BRIDGE, formerly known as GUY SMILES, currently known as ALWAYS MAN,
lovingly referred to as GUBBY, THE TROLL UNDER THE BRIDGE, THE REASON
FOR MAIL FILTERS, (that last one's my idea.) has just insulted your fic.
What could you send in reply? Here's some suggestions:

So? Why should I listen to you?

(This could only be used by well established authors) Well, I get 50+
mails a day. Do the math, that many people can't all be wrong.

Put your money where your mouth is! Write that fic you're talking about.

If you haven't got anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.

Thank you for ordering 1000 Silicon Graphics workstations, they will all
be delivered to your address in 3 days. The total is 15 million american
dollars. (I'm just guessing on the price here, I'm not that computer
literate.)

You don't like SI's!?!? I thought every guy liked Sports Illustrated...

I'm gonna make everyone out of character just to annoy you.

Did I ask for your opinion?

*Note, there's a suggestion I've come up with but I don't really want to
get banned so if you're interested, just mail me.





If you'd just read one of his reviews on the list:

Why are you complaining on the list? Do you _want_ us flaming you after
reading your scathing review on one of our favourite author's?

SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP! (actually, you can copy and paste this
line until it's a megabyte in size...)

If you don't like SI's then why the heck are you reading them?!






You see 'Always Man' in the sender column:

Kindergarten Teacher: Now, what do we do when we see Always Man in this
column?

Little kids (joyful tone): We press the delete button!



*************

Enough with the jokes, I have an idea, a crappy one but hey, it's an
idea.

I propose to all authors to put an anti-Always Man flag in their fics,
telling him that you don't want useless reviews from him. This is a
pretty stupid idea but I'll do almost anything to stop his useless
reviews from going on the list.

-Mark