Richard Lawson wrote:
[Writer's foreword: This is the third episode of a
fan-fict series based on the characters in Kimagure
Orange Road.
This is not a kimagure fic with oranges in it. It is not an orange fic
with... er, I guess that doesn't work here, does it? :)
Ah, so you have heard of BSSR...
I was sort of wondering...:-)
<crack!> and it's a line drive up the middl--diving
middle. Unless you mean that the announcer interrupts himself, which I
think would be better stated as "...a line drive up the mid--diving..."
Spelling it out completely works better, I think.
The intent was the announcer interrupting himself.
Cashier: Thank you, o-kyaku-sama*!
*Honored customer
Heh. *If* you insist on Japanese usage - I have my own outspoken views on
that, of course - adding little explanations like this is very helpful. I
like it.
On more complex stuff (like cultural matters) I usually include
an afterword at the end of the episode.
New man: I never gave it. It's a poor mind that can only
come up with one title to address a person...[Pauses as he
watches Kasuga frown.]...but for the sake of expediency, you
may address me as Tanaka-san. [Turns to leave.] I'm sure
we'll see each other again.
Ooh... I hate him already. In appearance and behavior, he very much reminds
me of Yotsuya in MI.
Initially yes, he was Yotsuya.
He's since gravitated to have a more concrete (albeit rarely used)
purpose in life. Suffice to say, he's a nasty, evil version
of Yotsuya.
Really? Taken straight from "Major League". I happen to like that movie
very much, myself. :) Nothing wrong with this, of course; I steal dialogue
from other sources *all* the time. :)
Yes, ripped bleeding from "Major League"...:-)
And I thought that movie was too old to be easily remembered;
silly me.
I'll admit that this isn't the first and is far from the last
time I've swiped dialog and ideas from my betters (or at least
better known).
Voiceover: Satisfaction of watching your opponent going
up in smoke, priceless.
Voiceover: Some things in life can't be bought. For
everything else, there's MasterCard.
<Waggles hand> Liked the McGwire commercial better. :)
I haven't seen the McGwire version of this one.
I've seen a couple of other versions of course.
[People around them in the library stops what they're doing,
and starts staring at Kasuga.
Kimura-san...well...she sort of reminds me of another
friend I had in junior high. I...I just don't want what
happened to her to happen again.
Well, good. I've been waiting for Kyosuke to say something like this.
Experience *can* teach some people once in a while. :)
There's more in upcoming episode #4.
When she looks up, she notices that all the people in the library
have stopped what they were doing, and are now looking at them.]
This is an almost-identical description to the one above. On purpose?
Not sure; other than that Kasuga has often looked
kind of foolish from time to time (comedic purposes I'm sure).
Katsu: [Deadpan whisper to Kasuga.] *That's* telling her?!
Kasuga: ...
Hurm. I... don't like this. Unoriginal. The unwanted affection, Kyosuke's
wishy-washy response... by the end of the manga I was damned tired of it,
and the ending, painful though it was, was also a relief. The last thing I
want is to see it resurface.
Hopefully you'll surprise me with where this is going. Maybe she's not
infatuated with Kyosuke at all. I fervently hope so. ^_^
Please just wait. In fact, look in #4 (which should be
out soon).
Hikaru: Darling! [Hikaru bursts through the doorway and
tackle-hugs Kasuga. He stumbles backwards, trips on his
futon, and falls back across it, as Hikaru ends up on top
of him. She smiles down at him.] Darling! I missed you
so much!
This has *got* to be Akane. The anime Hikaru knows much better than to try
anything like this. Heck, she's been hurt so much that she wouldn't, at
this point, voluntarily seek out Kyosuke. Of course, Kyosuke wouldn't be up
to figuring this one out. :)
Damn...and we were hoping to string the reader along longer
than this...:-)
[Hikaru's form shimmers slightly and vanishes, replaced
by another familiar form.]
Akane: [Chuckling.] Hi, cousin! Long time no see!
I knew it. :)
Well, this is again a step up. So far each new episode has gotten better
from a story-telling perspective. I have some concerns about the fact that
you're simply recreating the exact same kind of conflicts that were present
in the manga, but I'll give you the benefit of the doubt for now. :)
Look forward to episode 4.
Hopefully you'll like what you see. Thanks for the comentary
and critique. I'll be sure to look over LSDear #2 soon.
Stephen Tsai