Okay, instead of complaining about recent vegetarian (no meat to it) C&C, I'm going to 
give an example of what we're asking for...


Galaxy Police File 10 Sep 98 
 Philip is reported to have said... 

Akane-chan Change

written by Phil Hacker

Chapter III: Rules Are Meant To Be Broken

**********

"School?" Ranma asked.

"Well we *are* going to be staying here for a while, and you *have*
been falling behind in your studies as of late. You realize that a 
martial
artist must balance body, mind, and spirit. Why, when I was a boy-"

First off, you might want to be a little careful of line-length. Without 
watching you doing the actual work, however, I can't be sure if some
lines are breaking  very prematurely or if others are a little too long.
Also, I understand that you may have to pay for your connection 
and that in that case you may not always have the time to make 
adjustments to a fanfic that you might have had neatly margined
and justified in your text editor prior to cutting and pasting.

"Shut up!" Ranma booted his father into the koi pond. "I still haven't
forgiven you!" He turned his back on him. "Stupid old man," he
grumbled.

"It's the same school Nabiki, Akane, and I go to," Futaba said, coming
down the stairs dressed in a school uniform. "If we're lucky, you'll be 
in
our class."

I was going to ask if the fact that Futaba is wearing a school uniform 
isn't a given under the circumstances, then I realized that would be the
case only for someone familiar with the Japanese educational system.

'Lucky, he says,' thought Ranma. 'The only luck I'll have is if I can 
get
away from this house full of weirdos.' 

"Bye!" Nabiki called as she sprinted out the door.

"Wait up!" Akane called as she ran down the stairs, grabbed her shoes,
and ran out the door, followed closely by Futaba.

Some apparent, though I could be mistaken, continuity problems here.
1. Futaba was ahead of Akane and while it said Akane ran down the 
stairs it doesn't actually mention that she passed Futaba.

2. Wouldn't Akane's shoes be outside? Japanese people, from what I 
understand, take off their shoes before coming into the house. However, 
I am just starting to read this, so I digress that it mght have rained the 
night before and that the shoes may have been brought inside in order 
to keep them dry.

"Oh, did I startle you? This is just Betty-chan, my skeleton. Lovely
complexion, eh?"

LOL!  (reason for laugh: I saw the episode when Ranma first met "Betty-chan".)

"He?" Realization dawned on the doctor. "Oh, I see."

This seems a little vague. Does the good doctor know about Jusenkyo 
or does he think Ranma's going through the early stages of a sex change 
operation? 

Ranma-chan followed, pausing just long enough to use the hot water to
change back to male once she was out of the doctor's sight before
continuing. He really didn't have time to explain the curse to the 
doctor.

If the doctor did know about Jusenkyo, why would Ranma need 
to explain it, or was Ranma too preoccupied to notice the look of
realization on Tofu's face a moment ago?

"Well, you see, this is Ranma Saotome. He's staying with us, and we
sorta need you to make the usual, um...arrangements."

"Ah. Say no more. One double registration comin' right up."

A double registration?! Does Principal Kuno know of Ranma's 
curse already? I don't recall any mention of him having seen 
Ranma change, although that is a possible explaination.

Watashi wa GP toko Tantei desu