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****Kill Them All****
MSTs, Comments and C&C welcome. Flames or thinly disguised
flames will be printed out and laughed at before being used to light the
grill at our cook-outs next year.
Author's notes: Okay, I was a bit stressed out a while ago and finally,
my friends whapped me upside the head and told me to write a dark fic
and get it out of my system. So, I decided to write an incredibly cruel
fanfic.
So, here we go. I hope this doesn't come out too cliche`d in
anyone's book. What am I saying?
WARNING!
WARNING: Strong Language, Adult Situations (what the hell does
that mean, anyway?), sadistic torture, a rampant dark side and (bitter?)
lemon/lime ahead!
WARNING!
T.V. Rating, if this were a T.V. program: NC-23
There. You have been adequately warned. If your mom or dad
catches you reading this, I am not to blame. You are. After all, _YOU_
read this.
If you don't really like death, blood and guts, you can skip
ahead to ****Lemon What's Left****, which is going to be in the next
post. It's less gruesome, but a bit more twisted.
And final warning: Yes, this is an Self-Insertion fic. So, if
you don't like it, then I have to ask: Why are you even reading this?
P.S. Nitpickers, I don't give a rat's arse if you believe it
should be 'Xian Pu', 'Mu Tsu' or 'Khu Lon'. I write their names as I
see fit.
P.P.S. This story was originally going to be entitled
"Villians".
============================================================================
I was feeling kinda moody when I went for a walk that evening.
Hell, I was so out of it that I didn't even notice that I had shifted
dimensions until I ran face-first into a stone wall.
Ow. That sucks. First time I ran into one going so fast. I
turned around and noticed that there were a lot of stone walls and...
wait a minute. I was in a Japanese suburb or something like that, if I
recalled correctly. Takashi Ave and Gurio Lane. Yep, definitely
Nerima. (don't ask me, I'm inserting myself and even I don't understand
the logic) Oh cool. This played well with my sadistic side. Screw
helping everyone and being a hero. I always thought it was high-time to
make another villian. Hehehehe.
So, I set out to find out: where the @!#%@#$ does everyone live?
Luckily, I managed to climb up a tree, get to the roof of a nearby house
and examine the skyline. Okay, the school is the primary focus. Think,
what to do first? Find out where Ranma is? He's the biggest fish after
all. Naw, I like to keep the main course for last. Heck, I'll even
have my dessert before my main course.
First things first, though. Doing damage to the Nerima crew
will be easier once I find out where everything is.
It took me the rest of the night to find everything and I had to
sleep behind some pipes in a somewhat abandoned lot. Luckily, phone
books are so helpful >;).
Now, second things second. What to do that would be original?
I'm not normally an evil person, despite that I have a great ability at
being viciously cruel when I wanted to be. With a notepad that I always
had on me, I began making a list. I have to be honest, I hate being
cruel to those who I like or I care about, so, I'd probably leave them
out of it.
Okay, let's see...
Getting a plan together was kind of difficult. After all, I
don't want anyone figuring out who I am until it's too late. The first
thing I wanted to do was get a job. Being nineteen, I have an easier
time than most of the 'kiddies' around here. I applied and got accepted
for a assistant job at Dr. Tofu's who had said that his janitor, Genma,
was often asleep and he could use another hand.
I was able to get his trust as I had been certified in First Aid
in the states, so he decided to help advance my skills with pressure
points. Neat little techniques, those. Not to mention that most people
won't even expect some of the places that some pressure points are.
My plan was a somewhat long one. My first target? The
Nekohaten and one Shampoo.
Sneaking into the Nekohaten without my shoes on was surprisingly
easy. Poor Mousse was once again trapped in duck-form and in his cage.
I now had more motivation to kill the bitch. Sorry about the strong
language, but I feel it's necessary. Quietly, I uncaged Mousse and
grinned evilly as he didn't wake up. It's a good thing too, 'cause I
felt really sadistic with this one.
I snuck up to Shampoo's room. It's not surprising that I'm
quieter than a mouse. After all, sneaking past my parents and brother's
rooms to watch late night T.V. makes one good at sneaking around.
Especially since a field mouse squeaking in our basement can wake up my
mom. (Author's note: No, I'm serious about this. She's the first one to
know if there are any mice in the ANYWHERE house.)
Anyway, I snuck up into Shampoo's room. I set Mousse down and
hoped he didn't wake up as I frisked his duck form for his weapons. I
found three spears, an inflatable raft still in it's wrapping, that
training potty of his, and finally something I liked. A japanese blade.
I don't want to say 'katana' because that's too over-used.
I crept over to Shampoo and aimed the blade at.... hmm, hadn't
thought this far. I needed a spot that would silence her, but would
give me that satisfaction of killing.
Unfortunately, Shampoo's Amazonian heritage and some really bad
luck on my account woke her up. Shit. It was either die, try and B.S.
her into thinking this was a dream or kill her first. I chose the
latter as I plunged the sword vertically into her throat.
Unfortunately, Mousse woke up at the sounds that Shampoo was still able
to make. I used the sword to force her to stand and ducked as Mousse
let loose a barrage of knifes and spears at 'the intruder'. Need I say
that he hit Shampoo with every weapon? Shampoo gurgled, foamed blood at
her mouth and died. I drew the sword out of her as she slumped back
onto her bed and beheaded Mousse, watching in satisfaction as his
suffering ended as his duck form's life blood spilled onto Shampoo's
floor. His suffering was over.
Then, Cologne burst into the room. Luckily for me, the sight of
her own grand-daughter and Mousse dead, not to mention having an unknown
person in her house stunned her long enough for me to throw the sword
into her leathery forehead. The old hag fell to the floor and died. I
had to grin in satisfaction. This was fun. What a rush. But, I had
better make sure that I didn't get any blood on me. Nope. Not a drop.
I slid past Cologne's dead body and headed down the hall to her room.
Can you say 'impressive'? I knew you could. Cologne's room
resembled a mix between an armory, a chemistry lab and an
expensive-looking lounge. So, I felt obligated to steal some stuff.
Hehehehehehehe.....
It had taken me the rest of the night to steal everything that
could be useful from the Nekohaten. Seeing as there was so much love
stuff, I figured that I didn't need to just kill everyone anymore.
Setting up some twisted love triangles would do juuuuust fine. >:)
Okay, on my kill list next was Happosai. But, first, a stop at
the Kuno estate. I had a black ninja mask on, a hood to shadow my face
and a trench coat over that. It was a sunny day. Sure, I was hot, but
I couldn't be found out. I knocked on the main door. Sasuke opened the
door.
"May I help you?" Sasuke inquired.
"I need to speak with Kodachi Kuno and Tatewaki Kuno." I said in
my deepest voice.
"One moment." Sasuke said, eyeing me as though I had just told
him that I had found a cheap and effective way to lose weight. So, yes,
suspicious as all hell. He had a right to be too.
I was lead into a room where Kodachi Kuno was kneeling in a
traditional japanese kimono with Tatewaki kneeling next to her.
Kodachi's kimono rather nice one, in my humble opinion. She gestured to
a pillow and I knelt down. Tatewaki was dressed like... well, Tatewaki.
"Mrs. Kuno and Mr. Kuno, I have a major problem that I would
like to speak with you about." I said in the same deep voice.
"And what would this problem be?" Kodachi inquired.
"No doubt you have noticed that women's underwear has been
vanishing from not only your home, but various other houses. I have
found out a VERY important clue as to who the culprit is." I said.
"How does this concern us?" Tatewaki demanded.
"It concerns two people that both of you know. One Ranma
Saotome and the pig-tailed girl." I said.
Bullseye. I had the complete attention of both.
"You see, there is an old evil wizard that has begun a hideous
plan. He has taken the pig-tailed girl and Ranma and through his magic,
forced them to become of one body and mind." I began, hoping this B.S.
story would work.
"I... did not know..." Tatewaki stuttered, paling a bit.
"She was... not my enemy..." Kodachi murmurred, looking down.
Hook, line and sinker.
"At times, one or the other is able to shown through, but their
joined minds are greatly confused. The twisted old wizard has forced
them to steal him women's underwear until he is satisfied and sets them
free. However, the old man is getting upset at them for falling in
love. Ranma truly does love you, Kodachi. And the pig-tailed girl does
love you, Tatewaki. They were able to tell me this before their evil
master took them back for reprogramming." I told them.
They charged out of the room, intent on killing the evil old
bastard. Heh. Somepeople are just so easy to manipulate. I wandered
around, making sure there wasn't anyone else. Nope, entire compound was
empty. I didn't need anything here anyway, so I left to see how the
battle was going.
Surprising, it was easy to make a strength potion out of
Cologne's stuff. Heck, that legendary 'Super Soba' that Akane and
Shampoo had eaten was even in Cologne's collection. The point? I was
now able to leap tall buildings in a single bound, so doing the martial
artist trick of running along roof tops was easily accomplished now.
And I didn't need to worry about those whiskers. After all, with my
growing beard, I'd be able to hide them easily.
The fight with Happosai wasn't going well for either side.
Happosai had been caught off guard to have two vastly different martial
styles attack him during a raid, however, he had managed to recover and
bombed the two. This wasn't good. I wanted Happosai dead, and maybe
Tatewaki, but not Kodachi, she was too important to my other plans.
I had never done this before, but I had to try. In theory, I
should be able to anyway. I drew my fist back and threw as strong of a
punch as I could. Kami, doing this was like having your arm covered in
molasses while trying to swing it really, really fast. At least my
efforts weren't in vain. I had generated a shock wave with my newest
technique and it blasted the old pervert back, hard. From how the old
pervert began twitching and groaning, I'd suspect the effect was much
like suddenly going Mach 3 then being suddenly returned to normal
speeds. Only Happosai was able to withstand that kind of shock. Of
course, the righteous Tatewaki thought that Kami-sama was on his side.
Kodachi thought that her brother had unleashed a super-technique that he
had hidden from her.
They questioned Happosai, and of course when he said that he
didn't know what they were talking about, they thought he wasn't going
to talk.
"Come, dear brother, we shall seek another wizard to help dear
Ranma and the pigtailed girl. But, first..." Kodachi said, drawing a
knife.
"Nay, dear sister. The old one must learn that good triumphs
over evil." Tatewaki declared.
"Fine." Kodachi said, rolling her eyes.
No sooner had Tatewaki turned his back then Kodachi secretly
threw two hundred poisoned needles into Happosai's prone form. The old
bastard would survive, I knew that. Once Kodachi and Tatewaki left, I
figured to Gosunkugi's house, I drew one of the knives that I had taken
from Shampoo's body (I was keeping the two that had punctured her eyes
and went into her brain in a special case as a lovely souvenir of that
proud moment) and went about making sure the old bastard was dead for
good. I severed his head, burned his head and buried the ashes. Then,
I burned the body a few miles up river and buried those ashes in an
abandoned lot. You can NEVER be too careful with Happosai.
Mikado Sanzenin was easy. He was practicing late one night in
the arena when he felt a small dart hit the back of his neck. I walked
out, took the dart, extended the point into a minor cut, covered the cut
with a tiny band-aid so that the cops would think that it had been there
the whole time, then got off the ice. A strong shockwave strike to bust
up the ice and flip his ice raft over and bye-bye Mikado.
The next few days, I targetted another pair of morons. Namely,
Soun and Genma. They were kind of easy, actually. They had gotten
tanked the night I chose to follow them. A simple slash around the
shoulder blades and a push into the river and bye-bye morons. Heh.
After all, who can swim while drunk, bleeding and unable to effectively
use their arms?
The Principal was simple as well. Killed by the statue that he
had made of himself. So it was lugged up to the top floor and dropped
on him. No one could prove it was me. Besides, they were too busy
rejoicing.
Tatewaki Kuno and Sasuke were easy to deal with. Tatewaki was
having Sasuke carry the life-sized marble statue of himself while they
headed to the Tendo Dojo, no doubt to give 'Ranma' a 'peace offering' or
something like that. A simple well-thrown dagger into Sasuke's shin,
hamstringing the poor manservant and *BAM*. Kuno gets iced by his own
statue and Sasuke has a painless death of having his head crushed.
Messy, but effective. Plus, the knife had Shampoo or Cologne's
handprints on it.
Hiroshi and Daisuke came snooping around my house. No doubt
they figured that the new guy was responsible, rather than to look for
other suspects. I made nice by taking them to a nearby ramen shop under
the premise of making friends. A little cyanide in their ramen when
they were looking, I got up and 'went to the bathroom'. I waited until
they dropped to return and give a panic yell for an ambulance. Everyone
suspected the cook of underhanded stuff.
My next target was going to be tricky. Akane Tendo. She was
easy to manipulate, but difficult to get alone. Okay, first thing to
do, try out the Nyanniichuan.
Whoa! First time's a rush. I'm no taller or anything. I'm
just really busty and mister wee-willy-wonka isn't here anymore. I
better be careful, or I'll wind up liking this too much.
Next thing, disguise. In Shampoo's closet, I found a pretty...
er, cool red ninja outfit that fit me somewhat well. The chest was a
bit tight, but otherwise, it was fine. Kind of ironic that the girl I
hated the most would have the stuff I needed the most. I even found
some lovely shoes... er, some keen shoes to go along with it. And a
mask that highlighted my new features nicely... darn it! Um, I meant it
covered my features well. Maybe a scarf to give me that fashionable,
but dashing looking.... GRRR!!
The next thing was to write a formal challenge to Akane to meet
me alone in a secluded place. I had chosen an empty lot on the far side
of town. Then, to make sure that Ranma didn't interfere, I typed a
challenge to him to make me on the exact opposite side of town. Even
with his jumping roof-top to roof-top, it would take him thirty minutes
to reach the other lot, if he didn't spend about another hour searching
for it. By then, Akane would be dead. Heh. Mwehehehehehe. Evil is so
damn sweet.
Akane came by herself as I had requested. She was wearing her
karate gi and looked a tad ticked. Properly had to boot Ranma away. I
made her wait five minutes while I remained hidden in a nearby tree,
annoying her by being on the very edge of her danger sense. I leapt to
the ground and stood in a neutral stance.
"Are you my opponent?" Akane demanded.
I nodded.
"I must warn you that if we fight, death or severe maiming is
the only possible ending for you." I warned her.
She lunged at me. Heh. Idiot. With my super-strength, I
easily blocked her attacks and backhanded her. She stumbled back and
left herself wide open. This was too easy. I upper-cutted her lightly
in the stomach, causing her to choke back bile or risk the humilation of
vomiting in combat. She finally couldn't hold it back and threw up on
the ground. She looked too pathetic to kill. So, maiming. Ain't I a
bastard? I grabbed her left arm viciously and twisted it with one flick
of my wrist. *CRACK* I felt that ever-so satisfying feel of bone
breaking under my hand.
Akane screamed in pain. Crap. This may be a secluded area, but
she was going to draw an audience. I shoved her down onto her butt and
straddled her so I was facing her legs. I grabbed her right leg,
placing one hand on her thigh and the other on her shin. I pushed her
thigh while pulling her shin. *CRACK* One kneecap that wasn't going to
heal... ever. I repeated the process on her left leg. *CRACK* Hmmm,
maybe Ryo Muhoshin was right about violence. It was ever so satisfying.
Akane wasn't screaming, but rather sobbing quietly. Dammit. I hate
that. I grabbed her right shin and twisted it so that her toes were
facing the ground.
"Maybe if you had listened to my warning early, you would've
realized that you were way over your head. You were no challenge
whatsoever. Maybe it's for the best that you'll never be able to fight
ever again. Go back to your family and tell them of your failure and
watch them reject you." I taunted.
Hmm, was I getting a bit carried away with this evil stuff?
Nope. Haven't crossed my mental limit yet. Seeing that despair and
depression show up in her eyes, the look that she had finally lost
everything, was ever so sweet. She reminded me of someone. Someone I
despised with every fiber of my being. Hmmmm, this may be a projection
of hatred onto another person....nah. After all, I hated her like Ryo
Muhoshin hates Ryoga Hibiki. That's when a yellow bandanna zipped
passed me. I was wondering when I'd face the Lost Boy. Speak of the
devil and he shall appear.
"This fight is not with you. Leave." I told him, knowing
full-well that he'd interfere anyway.
Ryouga Hibiki by nature had an angry or depressed look on his
face all the time. This time, he looked calm. Oh boy. I may not have
crossed MY
mental line, but I had crossed his by a few million miles. And I didn't
like that yellow, red and black aura surrounding him. I was in it deep.
Only my wits and my new super strength were going to help me now.
Ryouga charged. I had to move quickly or I'd be paste. I leapt
over him and launched my new shock wave technique, sending the Lost Boy
flying through the wall in front of him. Ryouga didn't stay down long.
He powered up. I had never seen the Shishi-Houkodan upclose and
personal, but after seeing what it did to the monkey man in the second
movie, I sure as hell didn't want to.
I tried to confuse him by leaping around, but he caught me in
the air. Shit, that hurts. I couldn't move much, but I had to get up
or he'd do to me exactly as I did to Akane. I managed to get up and I
knew to put Ryouga down, I'd need to use all of my power in one final,
point blank shock wave.
Ryouga grabbed me by my mask and was about to pull it off when I
launched my final attack into his gut, sending him crashing through five
and a half walls. I watched in horror as he spat out blood, pulled
himself out of the crater and slowly began marching back towards me.
Shit! I knew Ryouga was tough, but that attack would've stopped AND
crushed a semi barreling downhill at over 200 mph! AT LEAST! I got to
my feet and did the one thing I could do. I ran like hell.
I changed clothes and went back to male form before going back
to Tofu's clinic. I made up a story of getting into a nasty fight with
a few punks who were hassling a girl. It was the only way I could
explain the ninety-six bruises and fractured shoulder that I had gotten
courtesy of the Ever Lost Boy. Then, I saw Ryouga, carrying Akane,
burst into the room.
"DR. TOFU!!" Ryouga cried.
"Oh kami... Akane!" Tofu said.
Tofu rushed over to her and I staggered over, managing to get a
concerned look. Tofu took her into the examination room and instructed
me to call the hospital. I did. However, then Ryouga started looking
at me. He must've noticed my bruises as my shirt was off.
"One hell of a fight." I explained, slumping down on the couch.
I looked at him. Jeez, my shock wave did more than he let on.
In fact, another attack and he probably would've been dead. Damn. Oh
well. The Red Kunoichi was ready to fight at any time.
-------to be continued in ****Lemon What's Left****-------
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