On Tue, 8 Sep 1998, RIG NET- Grayson Towler wrote:
Content disclaimer: if you've been reading along with us, you know that
IMBS has mature themes, violence, and isn't exactly a waffy love-fest.
Well, more of the same in this part. So if that sort of thing puts you
off, you've been warned.
Really? Well, it's a love fest of sorts this time around, but...
We jokingly considered calling it Chapter 12 -Everyone Copulates Like
Bunnies.
"Hold her," Ranma said quietly. Akane's grip tightened
further, and she braced herself.
"No... no..."
A hideous grating sound, bone sliding against bone, and
suddenly Kasumi was screaming and struggling, fighting her
sister's grip. Akane bit her lip and held on, trying to keep
Kasumi from moving too much.
There was a sickening pop, and Kasumi went limp.
I love the long build-up to this. Really agonizing. So, was Ranma
drawing it out on purpose, just 'cause he likes this sort of thing?
A good doctor will distract you and then do the painful thing before
you know it, so you don't have the chance to get all worked up
about it. Ranma's no doctor, but he's quite astute. Hmm...
Act of mercy, or enjoyment at causing pain? Or both? Who knows what evil
lurks in the hearts of bakas...
A low whimper came from her sister's throat, and Akane
felt a bit of moisture form along the edge of one eye. "We're
Extra line break.
Whoops.
Swing. Concentrate. Concentrate on the huge, massive
piece of stone flying towards you, the one that's going to
smash into you with incredible force and splatter you all over
the ground, the one every instinct you possess is screaming at
you to run away from....
No, see, the way it would work is that she'd get knocked cold,
then Tofu would give her some pads and stuff, and... uh, never
mind.
Heheh. Yar, you stole our thunder here...
Although the Akane in Relentless hasn't had the steady building of stamina
and resiliency that IMBS Akane recieved through her training regimen with
Ranma. By the time she begins training in the Bakusai Ten-Ketsu, she
already has about twice the resistance of the manga Akane.
Blackness.
Wake up. Take the cup of water and advice Shan Pu offers
you. Feel the rain drip down your forehead and into your eyes,
feel the blood from the jagged cut on your scalp do the same.
It's raining? Wouldn't that cause problems for Shan Pu?
Er, heh heh. n.n;;;;;;;;;;;;
Amazing how these things completely miss the writers and prereaders, and
then go on tobe caught by practically everyone on the FFML who responds...
Yes, it probably would cause problems. We'll just assume that she was
decked out in umbrella and rain slicker.
"I'm the worst cook in the world," Akane burst out,
depression oozing from every pore. "I was trying to make
Oh, you should visit Graviton City, Akane. You'd feel much
better.
One of the wonderful little bits of iron-like material I enjoy sprinking
into this series is that Akane and Ranma's relationship is actually a lot
better with Ranma as a suspected psychotic killer.
"I'm going to seal things between us by the end of the
week. I've been looking forward to it."
"I can imagine," she said, trying to analyze where the
vague sense of wrongness she felt was coming from.
"Seal things." What an ominous way to put it...
I'm sure he just means a proposition of marriage. Or something. Right?
Item: The point was located by using one's ki to perceive
the fabric and connection of things.
Assumption: Something must be striking the breaking
point.
Assumption: That something is both precise enough to hit
the point, and unable to be seen.
Grr. The idea that Akane would have to think through what Ryouga
achieved on instinct occurred to me as well, oddly enough. Oh
well.
Well, Ryouga has many strong points, the ability in instinctively grasp
difficult techniques being among them, as well as a natural ability to
work with ki. Logical reasoning, on the other hand, is not one of them.
Akane, OTOH, while having a harder time grasping the BTK, will probably go
on to have a higher degree of control over it since she not only knows how
to do it, but how it works.
The two of them struggled down the rock tower, the wind
and rain lashing at them with ever-mounting force. The sky
was almost black now, and the waves churned and frothed with
a violence that began to frighten Ukyou.
You would think this would remind Ukyou of her own training
against the raging sea...
Ukyou might not have gotten to the raging sea point yet. After all, this
takes place some time before she arrives in the manga.
She would leave Nerima today. For a long, long time. This part of
her life was over. She had passed a threshold, and now
her fate and Ranma's were irrevocably joined. They would
stand or fall together, for the rest of their lives.
However long THOSE last...
Indeed. Til death do they part...
And so we approach the final chapter of "Ill Met By Starlight."
I am constantly impressed by how deftly you have played
the tension and mystery in this story, down to the very last
moment. You've even got it to the point where it ends on the
thirteenth chapter. Very sly.
Also unintentional, aheh. n.n;;;;; We orgininally had it running 14
chapters, but the Nodoka subplot had to be cut due to lack of
compatibility with the endings, bringing the amount of material down to
only 13 chapters. Sort of a pity, because it gave us less time to build up
the Tsen/Ukyou relationship.
I, for one, am very interested to see how it all turns out...
Three different endings were plotted out. Afterwards, we talked em out and
eliminated two as not dealing with the issues and themes sufficiently.
Anyone interested in seeing one of the rejected outlines can see it at
http://www.thekeep.org/~mike/imbsend3.txt
And can note the numerous changes and discarded plot elements that cropped
up since it was written (Around chapter 7). The real Chapter 13 will be
almost nothing like it, but if you're dead set on avoid any sort of hint
you may wish to give it a miss until after 13 is over.
-ML
Grayson Towler
grayson@rigroup.net
http://www.rigroup.com/~grayson/relentless