Always,

Well, I have to admit that you set a record for shortness this time.  

Somewhere along the line, it evolved into a lost-love story that's 

given 

Happi considerably more heart than even *I* considered him to have.

In 

any case, even 'Kuno-chan' is welcome to give me some suggestions as

to 

how to keep it IC... assuming it doesn't wreck the story (and

assuming 

he actually *sends* his C&C to authors)

The premise is valid, but your execution leaves me cold. It's just too

bland.

I will break these sentences down one by one.

The premise is valid, but your execution leaves me cold.

Actually Always, this was a valid comment.  I must congratulate you.
You acknowledged that the premise was believable and followed up with a
legitimate complaint.  However, once again you stated it is such a way
as to insult rather than to help.  For example, you could have written
it thusly:

The premise is valid, however I was left cold by its execution.  

DO you see the difference?  I hope so.  Remember that when you are
giving C&C it is to help the author be better.  It is not an opportunity
to denigrate anyone else.  If you use it as such, you will continue to
generate the level of ire that is regularly raised against you.

It's just too bland.  

Here is an occasion where you didn't say enough.  If the fic was too
bland, why was it too bland?  Was it the writing itself?  Was it the
story itself?  Was it the style used by the author?  

You should have at the least shown one example of what you meant.  It
would have been even better to have shown how a revision would have made
it better.

I hope that this helps you AM,

Mike Allen