Some general comments.

1)  I did notice some problems with formatting in the story (mostly regarding
some indented paragraphs when the rest of the story didn't have any. 

2)  Kinda liked the convient excuses that Ranma had for avoiding hot water,
but something tells me that a convienent accident will happen in the near
future (one of those conventions in Ranma.)

And now:

(engage nitpick mode)

<<The red headed girl trudged wearily through the streets of Nerima.  Even
though she couldn't see anyone following her, the sense of being watched
refused to leave her.   
She had been feeling irritable ever since she had awakened and now that
feeling was threatening to blossom into paranoia.  Unseen by her, but not
unfelt, a shadow flitted across the rooftops.>>

Either this is two paragraphs (need a space in-between) or this is one
paragraph (needs to be reformatted.)

<<At the same time, Soun Tendo was gathering his three daughters together and
informing them of the impending arrival of a fianc� for one of them.>>

The placement of this paragraph (being in the middle of Ramna's trek to the
Tendo household) seemed a bit off to me.  Maybe Ranma should have his (or her,
as the case may be) bit, then switch to the Tendo's, or go with Shampoo.

<<Upon entering the Dojo Ranma faced the shrine in the corner and bowed.  Then
she faced her opponent and bowed again.  Then she waited.  >>

Maybe dojo should be in lower case (no capitalization)?  Not sure about that.

<<"My, you two look like you've had a good session." Kasumi told them.>>

Comma, not a period, after "session."  (I saw this in several places where
there was dialogue.)

<<Nervous, Ranma replied.  "I guess." >>

Maybe -Nervously, Ranma replied, "I guess."- (Hey, it has been some time since
I took classes in writing.  Come to think of it, it has been some time since I
took classes in general.)  ^_-

<<telling me about this"  Ranma said as she gestured at the room in general.>>

Missing punctuation (needs a comma after -this-.)

<<flash through her mind.  One after the other in a continuous loop.  Faster
and
fast they went.  Soon it seemed almost a blur to her.   Finally she couldn't>>

Maybe -Faster and faster they went.-?

-------------------------------------
(end nitpick mode)
There you have my C&C.  Personally I'm getting to like this fanfic.  Just a
few repairs and you should have a fine piece to send to RAAC (if you want to.)
I'll be waiting for the rest of the fanfic.

James Holzhauer (aka Tobimaro [Ton-chan])
      ---trying to not be confused with the Guy with the Ever-Changing Ailas.