OK.  I won't do a line by line on a teaser.  I'll save that for the main
event.  I will note that you might want to make some effort to check your
spelling on the main one though, avoid the temptation to capitalise words
words for emphasis, and don't break the fourth wall by telling us what
"we" see.  We don't see anything, except your words.

Past technical notes, we have the classic crossover situation of characters
from one series just parachuted into the other so they can just react to
each other.  Crossing over Lodoss and Valdemar is a good gimmick.  
However, you must get a plot to go with your gimmick.  Perhaps you already
have one, but I haven't seen any sign of it here. 

You will need an opponent, preferably one from Lodoss (the continent, not
necessarily the series).  Don't use Karla since Karla would have little 
interest in Valdemar.  

And...so Deedolit is a strong mindspeaker.  So what?  Why are Elspeth and 
Gwena so impressed and surprised by this?  There are mindspeakers all over
Valdemar's world and the nonhumans are often particularly good at it.  
This detail about their visitor would be noted, but not considered 
particularly remarkable.