He stepped out of the gate and into the street beyond,
hearing from far away the sound of children laughing, little more
than a barest whisper.  The midday streets of Nerima were crowded
with people walking, their faces fixed in expressions joyful or
melancholy.  Ryoga had seen a lot of faces in his time, and to 
his experience, he had found that the great majority of people
looked sad, for the most part.

Clumsy. The last sentence, for example, would have been much more 
powerful if it were written like this: "Ryouga had seen a lot of 
faces--and most of them were sad." It would also be good place to insert 
one of his famous philosophical commentary.

    Ranma had won.  How did the words go again?  May the better
man win.

Ryouga is a harsh critic of himself, but he certainly doesn't put 
himself below Ranma; he's constantly pointing out Ranma's lack of shame, 
pride, earnestness, responsibility, and general manliness. 

The central theme of this story is desire; the nature of it, the
conflicts it causes in us, and the ends to which we will go to 
achieve it.  Make of that what you will.  ;)

It would work, as a premise, but what you've outlined has nothing to do 
with this fic. There was nothing Ryouga was trying achieve in this fic, 
no desire he wanted to fulfil, no lust he wanted to indulge in.

"Hey, Ryouga! Feeling down?"
"Hmph."
"I got just the thing to pick you up! How 'bout some finger-licking-good 
crack cocaine?"
"..."
"It'll make you forget your troubles."
"Really?"
"Yeah! Just try some!"
"...I can't."
"Oh, c'mon!"
"I'm sorry, but I just can't. Ja."

There's an abbreviated re-write of this fic.

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