DEAR TENDOU STOP BRINGING RANMA FROM CHINA STOP
SHOULD ARRIVE TONIGHT STOP SAOTOME

This was wonderful news. After all these years he would finally get 

to

see his dear friend Saotome. He had to tell the children at once.

You know, Soun never _does_ tell his children why he wants one of them
to marry a Saotome.  He just says do it.  "Uniting the houses" doesn't
quite feel right, with the Shimeru clan being so insular.  Why not try
playing up the martial arts aspect a little?  Go on about how the
schools must be united.  Ranma and Akane might respect a martial arts
motivation a bit more.

Will do.

"Very good, you two. With the way you get along with Futaba, I'm
surprised that you keep saying that you hate boys so much, Akane,"
Nabiki said.

You would think that transforming into a boy herself, Akane might have 

a

bit more sympathy for males.

What she hates is not boys, but being pursued by boys. It's sour grapes; 
she can never get anywhere with any of them.

"Oh, so this panda's just a pet or something?" Nabiki demanded.

The girl stepped forward and spoke in a small voice. "I'm Ranma
Saotome. Sorry 'bout this."

What's she sorry about, again?

Sorry about causing a commotion by arriving as a girl and bringing a 
giant panda with her, what else?

'What's going on here?' Ranma wondered. 'Weren't they expecting a
boy?' Realization of one possible explanation hit her. Maybe they
*hadn't* been expecting a boy. 'No! Pop couldn't've--I mean, really!'
She shivered involuntarily.

Go with that first reaction boy.  It's mainly accurate.

Whoops, sorry.  That wasn't really helpful, was it.

I think Ranma's reaction to thinking that they were expecting a girl was 
appropriate.

Though I wonder what exactly Nodoka will have to say about this, given
her obesesion with "manliness".
Nodoka: "Genma, how could you!  Ranma, you're not marrying one of
_these_ and that's final.  What about this nice Kuonji girl?  She
seems... normal."

That'll be fun.

Ranma, of course, saw her coming long before he could connect. She
leaped over Akane's head and landed softly behind her. Just as she
reached out to tag her one last time on the back of her head, she 

jerked

her elbow backwards to strike her solidly in the stomach. Ranma 

gasped

as the blow connected.

Even with the extra concentration techniques....  I dunno.  Ranma is
_so_ much better than Akane.  It's difficult to believe she could catch
him like that. Any reason behind it?

Well, in the canon, Ranma only touched Akane at the end. Here it's for 
real, with Ranma getting in a dozen hits, so I decided to let Akane get 
in just one hit.

"Well, you'd just better watch your back the next time we spar," said
Akane. "I'm going to check on everyone. See you." She quickly left 

the

dojo.

So this time, the match ends with a threat instead of Akane asking if
Ranma wants to be friends?  It _still_ seems like Futaba is the one
bonding with Ranma.

The "threat" was directed at Futaba, if you will notice, in response to 
his line, "In your dreams, Coz".

She marched straight into the kitchen and grabbed her middle sister 

by

the shoulders. "Why didn't you tell me there was somebody in there
when you told me to take a bath?!" she demanded.

"What are you talking about, Akane?" Nabiki asked.

"I figured you'd have the sense not to go in when you saw the sign was
up."

Apparently Ranma dodn't put up the sign. I'll mention that.

"As you can see, everything is just fine and dandy," said Genma.

"Whaddaya mean 'fine and dandy'?!" Ranma-chan retorted. "You did
this to me! You made me like this on purpose!" Leaping out of the
pond, she charged at her father with a bucket of pond water and
splashed it over him.

God, Genma is scum.  I mean he's pretty scummy in the regular series,
but here he's just scum sprinkled with scum with an extra special outer
scummy coating.  At least before it was an accident.  Here I would
expect that Ranma carries as bad a grudge against his father as Ryouga
ever did against Ranma.

There will be more tension between Ranma and his father. Genma was 
willing to go to any length to make Ranma into appropriate marriage 
material. Remember how, in Ranko 1/2, Genma deliberately turned Ranko 
into a boy?

"Well, you see," Futaba began, "Everyone in our family, actually,
everyone in our 'tribe', since there are technically nearly twenty
families
with over a thousand of us, has a genetic trait unique to us. 

Whenever

any of us gets tense or excited, we change genders. It seems your 

father

thought that, if you could change sexes as well, you could marry into
the family."

Might be nice if someone demonstrated right then and there.

Okay. Futaba has the best concentration, so I'll have him demonstrate.

"Wrong answer!" Ranma-chan threw her father into the koi pond.

Everyone stared as Ranma-chan and the panda began fighting again.
The panda was doing surprisingly well against her for someone with an
injured hand and no depth perception.

He is?  Are Ranma's skills slightly less in this world?

No, Genma's just fighting for his life. Desperate pandas take desperate 
measures.

"Well, not the bride," Soun explained. "However, you must realize 

that

our family's unusual, er, trait means that it's the girls who are the
fathers."

"WHAT?! YOU MEAN I GOTTA GET *PREGNANT*?!?!!" Ranma-
chan became angrier still and pressed her attack on her father even
harder. Several blows broke through the panda's defenses.

Would that even work?  Instant abortion seems rather likely.

Genma is.... well you get the idea.  Do you have a plan how Ranma will
ever get through this one simple fact?  Actually, I sort of do.

What if Ranma felt _sorry_ for Akane?  What if he considered her family
trait every bit as much a curse as his?  What if... what if he resolved
to "cure" her?  It could add an interesting subplot to the series.  

Just

as Ranma searches for his own "cure", so he is searching for a "cure"
for Akane.  Of course, Akane might not wish to be "cured", which adds
another level to the whole thing.

Something to think about.  It'll be easier to have Ranma fall for Akane
if he starts thinking of Akane as a girl with a curse.

That's an idea, especially if I keep the Dr. Tofu subplot so that we see 
that Akane would really rather be normal and all of her hatred is just 
sour grapes.

"Cut it out!" Futaba and Nabiki each grabbed one of Ranma-chan's
arms and pinned her to the floor. Soun sat on her feet to keep her 

from

kicking.

He'd kick all their asses.  Unless you've seriously decided to 

downgrade

Ranma's fighting abilities.

This is why I made it everyone at once. I don't think that Ranma, even 
when enraged, is going to pound bystanders.

"You must be joking! Why don't we give him to Futaba?"

"No thanks," said Futaba. "Besides, the agreement was to match Ranma
with one of the children of Soun Tendou."

He wouldn't really know what the agreement actually said.

Futaba's just following what Soun said ("if one of you girls...")

"There's no way I'm marrying some pervert!"

"Who're you calling a pervert?!" Ranma demanded. "You're the freaks!"

Actually.... where _did_ the pervert crack come from?  It just seems to
fly out of nowhere.  Akane has no reason to start thinking "pervert".

Okay. Any suggestions for an argument-opener, anyone?

"Ranma, just where do you think you're going?" Genma demanded.

"To find a way to get rid of this stupid curse," Ranma replied. He
turned
back to face Akane. "And if you think I'm going to marry some girl 

who

turns into a guy just when you start getting to the best part, you're
even crazier than I thought."

See, this is where he could start to feel sorry for her.  Though this
objection is the very heart of your entire proposed series.  You're
going to have to do some major story stuff to get around this.

This is just Ranma's initial reaction. He'll start to feel sorry for 
Akane by the Dr. Tofu story.

 

Akane-kun scowled as he climbed out of the bathtub. 'Make a fool of
me, eh? That...that... arrrrgh!'

As he headed out of the bath, he came face-to-face with Ranma. He

This always bothered me a bit in the original series as well.  Ranma 

has

announced he's leaving.  Ranma is totally serious about it, he's on his
way out the door.  Then Akane hits him with a table and suddenly he's
staying?  What's up with that?

True, Takahashi never saw fit to explain it.  However, you've provided
Ranma a much stronger motivation that she every did.  An explanation of
why Ranma hasn't already left is in order.

I could use some suggestions here. How can I integrate Ranma's reaction 
to finding out that he will be a mother with him sticking around?

"Just give it a while," said Genma. "Things are bound to get better
sooner or later."

So says the scum.  I really hope Nodoka kills him.

Okay, so maybe I overdid Genma a bit.

Here's a thought.  It's certainly probable that Kuno has met Akane 

while

in her male form.  Therefore, it's possible that in _this_ continuity,
he's beaten the shit out of her a few times.  That would certainly
change her attitude towards him and might make an interesting 

alteration

to Kuno's introduction.

Yes, Kuno would beat a male Akane.  Concentration techniques or not. 
Maybe not easily, but Akane certainly wouldn't have the same effortless
victory as when she's a girl.

Yes, but he won't know it's Akane.

Will Happosai grope female-Soun?

probably.

Will Ukyou elicit the sigh of, "Oh, not another one!"

another what?

Will we see a new pattern emerging?  Akane get angry, turns into a guy,
trys to hit Ranma, and gets hurt for her troubles?

One more thing: can any of you suggest a name for Akane's male form?
I am hesitant to use any of the more conventional names for a male
Akane (Kaneda, etc.)

Here's a cool idea.  What if Akane can't decide?  She's always picking 

a

new name every week, deciding it doesn't 'sound right' and then
discarding it for a new name.  Her family is heartily sick of it.

Great idea, but Akane-kun needs a public alias so that he can attend 
classes as a male. What do "his" classmates call him. Please remember 
that the male Akane is a permanant rather than a transient character, 
and will be seen often by the same people.

......


I know I promised not to, but how about one final plea _not_ to match
Ranma and Akane up? For one thing, it kind of goes against the Futaba
tone of the story.  There, Futaba pursues a relationship with a girl 

his

family disapproves of.

For another, you're blowing a good opportunity to explore a 

relationship

between Ranma and a girl other than Akane.  Alternate relationships for
Akane too.

You say you want to match them up, but the story you keep writing
honestly doesn't seem to flow in that direction.  Why not just postpone
the decision, write the next few chapters as feels right to you, and
then look at the character relationships at that point?  That way,
there's no chance you'll have to right the story, and then keep
rewriting scenes to get it to go in the direction you want.

I mean, look at this chapter.  Your original fight scene was great and 

I

liked it.  But you had to rewrite and replace with an (IMHO) inferior
scene, because the original didn't get you to the goal you thought you
wanted.  Something to think about.

I still think that Ranma would like the idea of marrying another guy who 
turns into a girl more repulsive than marrying a girl who turns into a 
guy.

Does anybody have any suggestions on integrating a sex-changing Akane 
with a Ranma/Akane matchup?



Phil

prohackr@hotmail.com


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