I really shouldn't respond to these, but I can picture some poor beginning
fanfic author out there who decides to take you seriously, and is unable
to put any description into his fic whatsoever.

On Sat, 29 Aug 1998, Guy Smiles wrote:

<snip blabber about dialog>

prime suspect in this particular literary crime. 

				   ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
I've also often thought that character development is a literary crime. 
Yes indeed, my friends.  Catcher in the Rye, where the protagonist spends
a paragraph or two telling us how he's not going to bore us with certain
details?  The graveyard scene in Hamlet, speaking of a person that never
appears?  The Reculse Saga, where Lerris describes his craftsmanship in
fine detail?

Bad!  Bad!  Bad!

<snip GutB dialog>

You know, critiquing your own dialoge that you made purposely bad to prove
a point isn't that hard.  Why don't you go read a fanfic, take the dialog
within, and tell the author in detailed steps how to make *that* better? 

Just something that the list has been asking you to do (how long?  Oh, let
me see...) ever since you signed on?

Remember, the key rule for any dialogue is Short and Sweet. This isn't a 
matter of taste, this a rule of story-telling.. The best fanfic authors 
don't do it, and neither do any published writers.

Shucks, I guess that the Recluse series was never published then.  Those
books that I own must be fakes.  And I guess that Ender's Game won neither
Hugo Award or Nebula Award, since it was never published either.

Never know so many popular books were never published.

Best fanfic authors don't do it?  Let's see, you obviously don't like
Sommer-san or Alan-san, since you've publically stated that you refuse to
even read their fics, and they are the most prolific authors writing what 
I consider the some of the best Ranma fanfiction in production.  You flame
Lawson publically, considered by many to be an authority on fanfiction.

Could you please specify who you consider amongst the "best fanfic
authors", so that I can learn from their style?

P.S  	Just where do you dig up these half-assed rules, anyway?

P.P.S	Maybe *I'm* one of the best fanfic authors!  After all, I wrote
"Ranma and Akane and Nabiki" as an example as how to write a GutB
compliant fic, and I followed all of your rules!  Oh, wait.  Miko-san
already did a Gubby critique on it.  Darn.


-Natsume Ranma Ranma
-------
The sardines weren't worth the trouble.  A few more shots, then 
Ryoga-san would overheat and explode.  Ducking around a corner, 
I managed to lose him as I entered the ramshackle residence of 
my Anime supplier.

One look at his face and I knew that I was betrayed.  "Tell me."
I insisted.  He refused, so I slammed him against the wall.
"Last chance.  Where can Ranma-Ranma find good fanfics?"
"Try Jason Liao." he whispered, before he slumped to the floor.
I heard the sounds of a door splintering as I left through the 
window, one step ahead of Tendo Heavy Industries...