A major problem with too many fanfics are that they stuffed with bloated 
dialogue. What makes an exchange between characters 'bloated'? Dialogue 
becomes bloated when the author puts in more information than is 
necessary for the character to convey a point.

The word 'because' is a prime suspect in this particular literary crime. 
Here is some bad dialogue:

"That's okay, I like to help people, because I'm a helpful person at 
heart. Not to mention helping people makes me feel good, but I guess I 
would help people anyway even if it didn't feel good, because I belive 
in it. Besides, when have I ever not helped you when you needed it?"

Now let's edit this to make it good:

"That's okay, I like to help people."

Why, how, and how much the character likes to help people is useless 
information. Additionally, all that useless information distracts the 
reader from the scene, and it losses it's focus.

What if the focus *is* why, how, and how much the character likes to 
help people? Even in that case, the first example is wrong because it's 
a ridiculously unnatural way for a character to speak (unless you want 
to make a character who talks that way); this is how such a situation 
should be handled:

"That's okay, I like to help people."
"It's really okay? I mean, it won't be too much trouble?"
"Don't worry about it, I'm a helpful person at heart."
"Thanks--they weren't lying when they said how helpful you are."
"I guess helping people just makes me feel good."
"Phew, that's a relief. I was really nervous about imposing on you so 
much--"
"Please, don't worry about it. When have I ever not helped you when you 
needed it? Come to me any time."

Remember, the key rule for any dialogue is Short and Sweet. This isn't a 
matter of taste, this a rule of story-telling.. The best fanfic authors 
don't do it, and neither do any published writers.



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