It was on the morning of Wednesday, the 26th of August, that
people emailed me to tell me of a rather poor and intrinsically
biased MSTing of my work, "Usagi is Dead" chapter 1....  I didn't
really think about it at the time, since I find MST's to be not much
more than a form of intellectual parasitism masquerading as a form
of critical review.  A MST shall never be able to be cast in that
role, for the simple reason that the whole point of the exercise is
to ridicule not only the works of an original author, but the author
themselves, and I was to soon find that the MSTing of UID part 1 was
precisely this....  Personal opinion being exercised by an
individual, under the pretense of critical evaluation.

Actually, the essential pretense of most, if not all, MiSTs, is that the
work being presented is not intended as a submission for critical review but
as an attempt to drive its readers out of their minds. The riffing, at least
in theory, is an attempt to laugh at the fic before it can hurt its viewers.
And there have been some pieces of literature which I believe could easily
have done so.

	The individual involved, who likes to go by the name of
"Slash" for their own reasons of anonymity (thus showing the patent
cowardice of their actions, not even so much as leaving an email
address with which to reply) did not, at any stage, attempt to
evaluate the worthiness of Usagi is Dead as a text, but simply spent
the entire time ridiculing me with jokes that were, for the most
part, fairly tired and lame....  Even going to the extent of making
fun of my email address....  Surely a sign of someone totally devoid
of their own creative abilities.  I have not seen any fanfictions
posted anywhere on the net, so I simply have to surmise that they
are without the ability to produce something on their own merits.
It is, therefore, easier for them to deal with a text that someone
else has kindly written for them, and that someone was me.

And then there are Sailor Mac and Mark Berger, themselves Sailor Moon
authors, who choose to tear apart truly perverted lemon Sailor Moon fanfics.
Not that I am at all suggesting all MiSTing authors fall into either my
category or yours, but those words CAN be viewed as blanket condemnation.

	The first sign of trouble comes fairly close to the start,
where he makes a comment about the annoyance factor of the title.
itself.  He then tells everyone that I am "welcome" to my work, as
all good MSTers do say.  It is a roundabout way of saying that the
original authors should be ashamed of what they have written, and
imposing it upon the wider community.  All MSTers mean it this way
when they write it.

And Stephen Ratliff, notorious among MiSTers and normal fanfiction readers
alike, actually tends to agree that his works could have been revised and
improved before posting, and has actually managed to use the MiSTings of his
prior works to avoid similar mistakes in future ones. Again, this should not
imply universality, but neither should your statement. There are some works
of fiction, Gonterman and Oscar coming most prominently to mind as well as
the pointless lemons that Megane 6.7 has taken on as of late, which have
little or no inherent merit. Speaking of which... your statement implies
that both Lawson's "Transitions" and Hitomi's "Ranko's Life" are works which
their respective authors should be ashamed of. After all, they have been
MiSTed, and Megane 6.7 always introduces the stories in the same fashion.

Again, not to say that there are not MiSTs which are personal attacks...
I've seen them and they are not pretty. And not to say that there are MiSTs
which condemn a fairly good work of fan-fiction... I've seen those as well,
and they are seldom well done. But to say that all MiSTs necessarily fall
into both of these categories...

This, of course, gives those not familiar with
the story that the general consensus about Usagi is Dead is that the
story, as a whole, has absolutely no worth, and is hated by
everyone.  Considering the story has, thus far, received a 7/3 ratio
of love and hate replies, the bias of the MSTer is already palpably
obvious.  He doesn't merely wish to make fun of the story, he wishes
to destroy both it and myself.

	What follows this is a series of spelling errors, poor grammar
and intrinsically unfunny humor.  I am criticised for my own
spelling errors and grammar/usage of language by Slash more than
once.  I don't think I should have to take lectures from someone for
whom even a spellcheck is incapable of curing on this account,
considering I publish all of my stories upon their first draft and
without spellchecking.

In other words, the MiSTing wasn't even done remotely well.

Then, as things continue, the MSTer does his
level best to create problems that really don't exist, like the
narrative not really being descriptive enough for those who are
reading to follow to any reasonable degree, constantly harking back
to the MSTer's own mischievous misinterpretation of the timeline of
events.  The events portrayed are as linear as they get within a
chapter of UID, even upon reading between the inanities of Slash's
babbling, I am able to follow what is going on, and it is getting
nigh on a year since I last had anything to do with this chapter.

And you expect anyone who reads MiSTs on a regular basis to take this poorly
done one seriously?

	Then there is the imposition of the MSTer's own view of the
story, as a whole....  Describing how he managed to get as far as
chapter 12 before giving up.  Perhaps it has more to do with the
MSTer's inability to understand the story than anything else that he
takes this view.  But I think not.  The tone of this passage is not
one of "I don't understand this" but "Look at this crap....  He's
just SO useless as a writer".  Maybe I'm getting paranoid about the
malevolence of Slash's MST, but I really don't think so.  When the
character's are told that Usagi is Dead will be the fic they must
"endure", their only reaction is "we don't like you".  The MSTer has
strayed from critic to bias even before the true MST has started.

Particularly since the characters can't presume to know the content of the
story before it arrives. But, as is often the case in such things as
Gonterman MiSTings, characters who've read works by the author are often
notably vocal about having to read future works. Ratliff is perhaps the best
example... there are few, if any, Stephen Ratliff fanfics in which Marissa
Picard fails to display a level of confidence, charisma, chutzpah, and skill
that would make even the most munchkin SI sit up and take notice.

	But what MOST annoys me is the patent lack of anime knowledge
Slash displays.  Making a joke about people NOT knowing who
Yuuichirou is, and then having to explain that it is Chad in the dub
sticks in my side like a thorn....  If you're going to attempt a MST
in the first place, you should have even the most BASIC knowledge of
the series the fanfic was written for.  My knowledge of the canon of
Sailormoon was not good at the time, but even I knew who the hell
Yuuichirou was.  This theme of a lack of knowledge is continued
further along, where Slash questions the existence of animes the
likes of Hyper Police, Maze - Bakunetsu Jikuu and Haunted Junction.
A little research, not very much, in fact, should be enough for
Slash to soon discover exactly what these animes are and are about.
It is inexcusable for anyone who THINKS they are an anime fan NOT to
look into such things.

Which is not to say that, for example, a MiST which has Mike, Tom and Crow
unaware of the nuances of an anime series is necessarily bad. A debate was
in progress for a while on exactly how much of the author's knowledge could
be demonstrated by the characters without said characters acting noticably
out of character... the general consensus is to provide a reason for said
knowledge and let it go at that. (As though Crow and/or Tom would need a
reason to watch anime.)

	Your attempt, Slash, to perform a hatchet job on both myself
and my fics was something of a hamfisted effort.  Before criticising
anything I have written in the future, dare I suggest you cast your
own efforts into the gaze of the world and see how they are accepted
rather than standing on the sidelines with your "kewl" cynicism.
You might find it not quite so easy to do.  You might even receive
death threats from those who do not like your work, as I have, for
no readily apparent reason or cause.  But that, as they say, is
another story, although one often muses over the connections....

Slash's MST of Usagi is Dead 1 can be found at....

http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Temple/4007/SM_MSTings/Usagi-Dead.txt

Now, you'll forgive my interpretation of your words, but it seems like this
letter of yours, which should have been a refusal of one badly written
attempt at MiSTing your work, turned into a general refusal that any MiSTs
can be written well, or have any merit whatsoever. Doing so and thus damning
the genre is as erroneous as the practices you accuse your MiSTer of. If you
head to the above GeoSite and read through the MiSTings of the Gonterman
fics, ("The Rangers of NIMH" and "Blood and Metal" have been judged to be
rather good by outside surveys at pinky.wtower.com) you'll find that the
funniest parts of the MiSTing are not attacks on the author, but on the
badly mangled nature of most of the sentences and some of the just plain
weird things that go on. And the Silly Break in the first chapter of Blood
and Metal, which I find to be one of the funniest parts of the MiST, has
little or anything to do with the original work.

Granted, there are a few writers out there who use the MiSTs as a vehicle
for personal attack... but a MiST should always be done with its author's
permission. Doing otherwise is considered rather bad form by both of the
more public MiSTing sites out there. Those who don't even bother to notify
the author that their story is being MiSTed are often the ones who write the
worst quality MiSTs. But judging a genre by its worst examples is inherently
flawed.

--G. Falconar